Spirited kids
elissa kroeger <[email protected]>
When I was growing up, my best friend had a stormy relationship with
her mother. They had yelling and screaming fights when I was there, a
lot. My friend would scream things like "I hate you!! I'll never be
like you!!" etc.. The mom, one of the wisest people I've ever met,
would sometimes lose it and yell back but as soon as my friend ran
from the room and slammed the door of her bedroom, her mom would look
over at me and say "Herman's heart is in the right place." (Herman
was her nickname for my friend) Then she and I would talk about
whatever for a while. Then the mom would go to the door of her
daughter's room and say in a cutsefied voice "I love you Herman!", my
friend would sometimes growl at her and sometimes reply, in a similar
cutsefied voice, "I love you too ma!" and we would all get back to
drinking coffee and talking about whatever. Sometimes my friend would
ask me whether I came over to be with her or her mom, I always said
both.
Anyway, this mom was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of skin
cancer. My friend, without even thinking twice, dropped out of high
school to take care of her. I cut out a lot to help because Judy, the
mom was my friend too. We made her dinners and took her to
appointments and cleaned house for her. We had parties with our
friends at her house. She was lying on the couch feeling awful and
she spent her time with a bunch of teenagers!!! We were not exactly
the quiet, studious crowd (I was but I was an oddball, the rest were
what wouldve been called "burnouts").
When Judy was dying, she asked to be taken home from the
hospital, they would not discharge her. My friend walked up to the
nurses and said, "I am taking my mom home." They gave her some flak
about paperwork and my friend said she was not interested in
paperwork, but her mom's wishes. She picked her mom up and walked
down to the car with a nurse following her with papers. She was with
her mom when she died a few weeks later. Judy called me at work 30
minutes before she died and asked me "Take care of Herman for me."I
said I would.
The thing about Judy which left such an impression on me was
that she was able to look past her daughter's acting out and see the
real person inside. She did not speak to the acting out Herman but to
the wonderful Herman inside. My friend and I have both tried to do
this with our own children when they drive us crazy for whatever
reason. And...yes, in case you were wondering, my friend is an
unschooling mom and has been for 10 years. Also, many of the
teenagers who hung out in her mom's living room listening to heavy
metal music while she lay on the couch still know each other. It is
amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can accomplish!! I
hope this story is encouraging.
-Elissa
her mother. They had yelling and screaming fights when I was there, a
lot. My friend would scream things like "I hate you!! I'll never be
like you!!" etc.. The mom, one of the wisest people I've ever met,
would sometimes lose it and yell back but as soon as my friend ran
from the room and slammed the door of her bedroom, her mom would look
over at me and say "Herman's heart is in the right place." (Herman
was her nickname for my friend) Then she and I would talk about
whatever for a while. Then the mom would go to the door of her
daughter's room and say in a cutsefied voice "I love you Herman!", my
friend would sometimes growl at her and sometimes reply, in a similar
cutsefied voice, "I love you too ma!" and we would all get back to
drinking coffee and talking about whatever. Sometimes my friend would
ask me whether I came over to be with her or her mom, I always said
both.
Anyway, this mom was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of skin
cancer. My friend, without even thinking twice, dropped out of high
school to take care of her. I cut out a lot to help because Judy, the
mom was my friend too. We made her dinners and took her to
appointments and cleaned house for her. We had parties with our
friends at her house. She was lying on the couch feeling awful and
she spent her time with a bunch of teenagers!!! We were not exactly
the quiet, studious crowd (I was but I was an oddball, the rest were
what wouldve been called "burnouts").
When Judy was dying, she asked to be taken home from the
hospital, they would not discharge her. My friend walked up to the
nurses and said, "I am taking my mom home." They gave her some flak
about paperwork and my friend said she was not interested in
paperwork, but her mom's wishes. She picked her mom up and walked
down to the car with a nurse following her with papers. She was with
her mom when she died a few weeks later. Judy called me at work 30
minutes before she died and asked me "Take care of Herman for me."I
said I would.
The thing about Judy which left such an impression on me was
that she was able to look past her daughter's acting out and see the
real person inside. She did not speak to the acting out Herman but to
the wonderful Herman inside. My friend and I have both tried to do
this with our own children when they drive us crazy for whatever
reason. And...yes, in case you were wondering, my friend is an
unschooling mom and has been for 10 years. Also, many of the
teenagers who hung out in her mom's living room listening to heavy
metal music while she lay on the couch still know each other. It is
amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can accomplish!! I
hope this story is encouraging.
-Elissa
Have a Nice Day!
THat is a beautiful story!!
Thank you so much for sharing. And isn't it amazing that that one mom is still affecting people even today, through the stories you and others share about her.
Kristen
Thank you so much for sharing. And isn't it amazing that that one mom is still affecting people even today, through the stories you and others share about her.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: elissa kroeger <elissa_8@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 01, 2003 10:48 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Spirited kids
When I was growing up, my best friend had a stormy relationship with
her mother. They had yelling and screaming fights when I was there, a
lot. My friend would scream things like "I hate you!! I'll never be
like you!!" etc.. The mom, one of the wisest people I've ever met,
would sometimes lose it and yell back but as soon as my friend ran
from the room and slammed the door of her bedroom, her mom would look
over at me and say "Herman's heart is in the right place." (Herman
was her nickname for my friend) Then she and I would talk about
whatever for a while. Then the mom would go to the door of her
daughter's room and say in a cutsefied voice "I love you Herman!", my
friend would sometimes growl at her and sometimes reply, in a similar
cutsefied voice, "I love you too ma!" and we would all get back to
drinking coffee and talking about whatever. Sometimes my friend would
ask me whether I came over to be with her or her mom, I always said
both.
Anyway, this mom was diagnosed with an aggressive kind of skin
cancer. My friend, without even thinking twice, dropped out of high
school to take care of her. I cut out a lot to help because Judy, the
mom was my friend too. We made her dinners and took her to
appointments and cleaned house for her. We had parties with our
friends at her house. She was lying on the couch feeling awful and
she spent her time with a bunch of teenagers!!! We were not exactly
the quiet, studious crowd (I was but I was an oddball, the rest were
what wouldve been called "burnouts").
When Judy was dying, she asked to be taken home from the
hospital, they would not discharge her. My friend walked up to the
nurses and said, "I am taking my mom home." They gave her some flak
about paperwork and my friend said she was not interested in
paperwork, but her mom's wishes. She picked her mom up and walked
down to the car with a nurse following her with papers. She was with
her mom when she died a few weeks later. Judy called me at work 30
minutes before she died and asked me "Take care of Herman for me."I
said I would.
The thing about Judy which left such an impression on me was
that she was able to look past her daughter's acting out and see the
real person inside. She did not speak to the acting out Herman but to
the wonderful Herman inside. My friend and I have both tried to do
this with our own children when they drive us crazy for whatever
reason. And...yes, in case you were wondering, my friend is an
unschooling mom and has been for 10 years. Also, many of the
teenagers who hung out in her mom's living room listening to heavy
metal music while she lay on the couch still know each other. It is
amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can accomplish!! I
hope this story is encouraging.
-Elissa
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mummyone24 <[email protected]>
--- In [email protected], "elissa kroeger
<elissa_8@h...>" <elissa_8@h...> wrote:
<<It is amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can
accomplish!! I hope this story is encouraging.>>
Thanks for the story Elissa, it was beautiful.
Mary B
<elissa_8@h...>" <elissa_8@h...> wrote:
<<It is amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can
accomplish!! I hope this story is encouraging.>>
Thanks for the story Elissa, it was beautiful.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/1/03 12:41:06 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Also, many of the
teenagers who hung out in her mom's living room listening to heavy
metal music while she lay on the couch still know each other. It is
amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can accomplish!! I
hope this story is encouraging. >>
VERY. What an awesome story, thanks.
I'm especially impressed with Hermans abililty to ignore the establishment
and honor her mother. That was really neat.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson Burnett
[email protected] writes:
<< Also, many of the
teenagers who hung out in her mom's living room listening to heavy
metal music while she lay on the couch still know each other. It is
amazing what one mom's attitude toward her child can accomplish!! I
hope this story is encouraging. >>
VERY. What an awesome story, thanks.
I'm especially impressed with Hermans abililty to ignore the establishment
and honor her mother. That was really neat.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson Burnett