college and self-regulation (was Re: Junk Food/TV)
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/14/03 7:45:27 AM, lelie@... writes:
<< But on the flip side, don't you remember friends at
college (during the time they managed to stay) who couldn't focus and
get the work done, because they were so unregulated at home that they
never learned how to focus, and how to a plough through the difficult
stuff to get to their goal. >>
Not me.
My experience with the hippie kids (having grown up in northern New Mexico)
was that they were some of the best students, and THE most responsible at
living off campus.
<<one of the pitfalls of my
unschooling history is, lots of good ideas but no self-regulation to
put them into effect!!! >>
It might be an individual trait, and not a result of upbringing. Being
scattery isn't a sin, and being neat and organized isn't necessarily a
virtue. Some people are so "organized" they can't change their plans
because something better came along.
My own kids, now that they're teens, are much more organized than I am. I
think especially in Marty, who's 14, it's inherited from his dad. He's like
his dad in lots of ways. My husband and the boys went to a four day campout.
Marty's stuff was ready first, he packed it just so, he knew everything
everybody involved needed to know, he was the contact point when one of the
other drivers got sick and helped figure out how to rearrange vehicles. I
didn't teach him that. I have given him the opportunity to exercise it and
the assistance he needs when he needs it.
I don't think "self regulation" comes from being regulated by others. I'm a
very-last-minute kind of person myself. I wrote a draft by hand of a column
that's due at the end of this month, and that's amazing. Two weeks early!
But I get by, having learned to live with my own quirks.
If college had been really important to you, you probably would have done
better, don't you think?
If people are just there because it's the next step on the generic list, they
don't have the same motivation they might have otherwise. I saw a lot of ki
ds who didn't really want to be there who didn't get it together to make it
fun and productive.
Sandra
<< But on the flip side, don't you remember friends at
college (during the time they managed to stay) who couldn't focus and
get the work done, because they were so unregulated at home that they
never learned how to focus, and how to a plough through the difficult
stuff to get to their goal. >>
Not me.
My experience with the hippie kids (having grown up in northern New Mexico)
was that they were some of the best students, and THE most responsible at
living off campus.
<<one of the pitfalls of my
unschooling history is, lots of good ideas but no self-regulation to
put them into effect!!! >>
It might be an individual trait, and not a result of upbringing. Being
scattery isn't a sin, and being neat and organized isn't necessarily a
virtue. Some people are so "organized" they can't change their plans
because something better came along.
My own kids, now that they're teens, are much more organized than I am. I
think especially in Marty, who's 14, it's inherited from his dad. He's like
his dad in lots of ways. My husband and the boys went to a four day campout.
Marty's stuff was ready first, he packed it just so, he knew everything
everybody involved needed to know, he was the contact point when one of the
other drivers got sick and helped figure out how to rearrange vehicles. I
didn't teach him that. I have given him the opportunity to exercise it and
the assistance he needs when he needs it.
I don't think "self regulation" comes from being regulated by others. I'm a
very-last-minute kind of person myself. I wrote a draft by hand of a column
that's due at the end of this month, and that's amazing. Two weeks early!
But I get by, having learned to live with my own quirks.
If college had been really important to you, you probably would have done
better, don't you think?
If people are just there because it's the next step on the generic list, they
don't have the same motivation they might have otherwise. I saw a lot of ki
ds who didn't really want to be there who didn't get it together to make it
fun and productive.
Sandra
Have a Nice Day!
>>My own kids, now that they're teens, are much more organized than I am.<<I have to agree here. I am also a "last minute" person. I work much more efficiently under pressure of deadlines, etc.
My 14 year old was NEVER the neat freak here as a child. He was ALWAYS dumping stuff out all over the place and never could clean up after himself because it was too overwhelming for him. He had NO concept of time management either.
Now, at 14, he *is* the neatfreak, even cleaning up after his sisters.
I gave up trying to "regulate" him to clean up years ago simply because it just didn't work.
I think its just a personality thing...or maybe a maturity thing. I don't know. I *do* know that regulating it doesn't necessarily make any difference.
Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 12:43 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] college and self-regulation (was Re: Junk Food/TV)
In a message dated 2/14/03 7:45:27 AM, lelie@... writes:
<< But on the flip side, don't you remember friends at
college (during the time they managed to stay) who couldn't focus and
get the work done, because they were so unregulated at home that they
never learned how to focus, and how to a plough through the difficult
stuff to get to their goal. >>
Not me.
My experience with the hippie kids (having grown up in northern New Mexico)
was that they were some of the best students, and THE most responsible at
living off campus.
<<one of the pitfalls of my
unschooling history is, lots of good ideas but no self-regulation to
put them into effect!!! >>
It might be an individual trait, and not a result of upbringing. Being
scattery isn't a sin, and being neat and organized isn't necessarily a
virtue. Some people are so "organized" they can't change their plans
because something better came along.
My own kids, now that they're teens, are much more organized than I am. I
think especially in Marty, who's 14, it's inherited from his dad. He's like
his dad in lots of ways. My husband and the boys went to a four day campout.
Marty's stuff was ready first, he packed it just so, he knew everything
everybody involved needed to know, he was the contact point when one of the
other drivers got sick and helped figure out how to rearrange vehicles. I
didn't teach him that. I have given him the opportunity to exercise it and
the assistance he needs when he needs it.
I don't think "self regulation" comes from being regulated by others. I'm a
very-last-minute kind of person myself. I wrote a draft by hand of a column
that's due at the end of this month, and that's amazing. Two weeks early!
But I get by, having learned to live with my own quirks.
If college had been really important to you, you probably would have done
better, don't you think?
If people are just there because it's the next step on the generic list, they
don't have the same motivation they might have otherwise. I saw a lot of ki
ds who didn't really want to be there who didn't get it together to make it
fun and productive.
Sandra
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