[email protected]

In a message dated 2/11/03 8:26:35 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Where can I find the article to which you refer? I'm new to homeschooling
2 "special needs" kids and am having some problems trying to embrace the
wholehearted unschooling lifestyle espoused here since there does seem to be
a need for structure that I don't think is just my need. >>

Sorry, I totally forgot to say where the article was published.
It was in HEM's (of course) Nov./Dec. issue, I think. I need to go and look
but all my HEM's are in the trunk of my car for our "resource day" tomorrow.
Maybe Sandra or Joyce or someone can help me out with remembering.
And maybe it's online somewhere now, ???
It is such a good article about her personal journey with a special needs
child and how unschooling answered everything in the end!
Very heartfelt article.
And Sandra is in that issue too!

Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."

----Frances Hodgson Burnett

myfunny4 <[email protected]>

I don't know if unschooling works for every child with special needs;
and I wouldn't presume to assure a mother that it can or will. I can
share my experience with unschooling a child with special needs,
although I didn't know that I was doing so until I learned about
unschooling from another homeschooler. In fact, to my great
surprise, I was *accused* of being an unschooler with my youngest
child.

My son is evaluated and considered - by those who do such things by
training and profession - to be severely disabled. He was born
neurologically normal, but he was also born with a genetic disease
called Severe Combined Immune Deficiency (SCID), also known,
unfortunately, as the "boy in the bubble" disease. The disease is
fatal without a bone marrow transplant, which my son underwent when
he was 6 months old. Unfortunately, he struggled through every
complication that could arise. He survived but the cost was great;
he suffered permanent injury to his brain, his liver, and his
intestines. As a result, he has quadraplegic cerebral palsy, mental
retardation, epilepsy, vision impairment, and he is non-verbal. He
takes no food by mouth, and is fed formula and medications through a
tube placed directly into his intestine. He has a permanent central
venous catheter placed in his chest for his daily IV medications and
fluids. The bone marrow transplant was only partially successful;
and my son is hospitalized frequently for severe, life-threatening
infections.

His disabilities are awful; however, *he* is a delightful, joy-filled
child with a great curiousity about the world. My son has a
decreased life expectancy; he is unlikely to survive beyond his
teens. And while this is painful to think about, since I love him so
completely, this knowledge has also freed us in a way that my dh and
I had never imagined. We are free to live completely for today.

I *do* have therapists for my son who help him gain mobility; he has
a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist. Did I *ask* him
if he wanted therapy? No. And he does not have the cognitive
ability to understand the question even if I did. Does *he*
determine what his goals are for therapy? Yes <g>. I've seen
therapists try to make my son do what he does *not* want to do, and I
can only admire my son's tenacity in sticking to his right NOT to do
something. <g>

Anyway, back to unschooling...I learned quite a while ago that my son
will *only* learn what he is motivated to learn; but more
importantly, that he *can* learn when it is something that *he* wants
to know. My role is to recognize what motivates him, and to provide
safe opportunities for him to learn. I offer materials and
activities that I think he might enjoy, based on his other interests,
and he is free to choose what he wants to do. I believe in him, and
his right to a life that makes him happy.

This belief in my youngest child led me to look at my other children,
and gradually my dh and I began to reevaluate all that we thought we
knew about homeschooling, education and learning. I still don't call
myself an *unschooler* or what we do as *unschooling*. I have an
instinctive resistance to labels, I suppose. I do admit, though,
that we are closer to *unschooling* than anything else on the
homeschool continuum.

Sorry for the length...my son's story doesn't really have a condensed
version. <g> I hope that other parents raising children with special
needs will recognize that even the most disabled child has the right
to make choices for his life, no matter how limited that life might
be.

Debbie

AnneO <[email protected]>

I do want to clarify (and I apologize for not doing so in my previous
message) that I am referring to high functioning autism, sensory
integration dysfunction, dyslexia...any of those labels that
overlap (the type of child that the previous messages were referring
to). I have loads of experience in unschooling a child who fits (not
neatly, however) into those categories (and more!).

I have NO experience with unschooling other types of special needs
children.

But I have to believe that honoring a child for Who He Is and letting
the child SHINE by following his heart and his passions, instead of
force-feeding information that they don't care about has got to be
the right way to go.

~ Anne

--- In [email protected], "myfunny4 <Debbies4@c...>"
<Debbies4@c...> wrote:
> I don't know if unschooling works for every child with special
needs;
> and I wouldn't presume to assure a mother that it can or will. I
can
> share my experience with unschooling a child with special needs,
> although I didn't know that I was doing so until I learned about
> unschooling from another homeschooler. In fact, to my great
> surprise, I was *accused* of being an unschooler with my youngest
> child.
>
> My son is evaluated and considered - by those who do such things by
> training and profession - to be severely disabled.

Have a Nice Day!

Thank you so much for sharing that Debbie.

I'm so glad he is hanging in there and asserting himself.

I know things were very rough for a long time with his hospitlizations.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: myfunny4 <Debbies4@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, February 12, 2003 8:12 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Does unschooling work for everyone?LONG


I don't know if unschooling works for every child with special needs;
and I wouldn't presume to assure a mother that it can or will. I can
share my experience with unschooling a child with special needs,
although I didn't know that I was doing so until I learned about
unschooling from another homeschooler. In fact, to my great
surprise, I was *accused* of being an unschooler with my youngest
child.

My son is evaluated and considered - by those who do such things by
training and profession - to be severely disabled. He was born
neurologically normal, but he was also born with a genetic disease
called Severe Combined Immune Deficiency (SCID), also known,
unfortunately, as the "boy in the bubble" disease. The disease is
fatal without a bone marrow transplant, which my son underwent when
he was 6 months old. Unfortunately, he struggled through every
complication that could arise. He survived but the cost was great;
he suffered permanent injury to his brain, his liver, and his
intestines. As a result, he has quadraplegic cerebral palsy, mental
retardation, epilepsy, vision impairment, and he is non-verbal. He
takes no food by mouth, and is fed formula and medications through a
tube placed directly into his intestine. He has a permanent central
venous catheter placed in his chest for his daily IV medications and
fluids. The bone marrow transplant was only partially successful;
and my son is hospitalized frequently for severe, life-threatening
infections.

His disabilities are awful; however, *he* is a delightful, joy-filled
child with a great curiousity about the world. My son has a
decreased life expectancy; he is unlikely to survive beyond his
teens. And while this is painful to think about, since I love him so
completely, this knowledge has also freed us in a way that my dh and
I had never imagined. We are free to live completely for today.

I *do* have therapists for my son who help him gain mobility; he has
a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist. Did I *ask* him
if he wanted therapy? No. And he does not have the cognitive
ability to understand the question even if I did. Does *he*
determine what his goals are for therapy? Yes <g>. I've seen
therapists try to make my son do what he does *not* want to do, and I
can only admire my son's tenacity in sticking to his right NOT to do
something. <g>

Anyway, back to unschooling...I learned quite a while ago that my son
will *only* learn what he is motivated to learn; but more
importantly, that he *can* learn when it is something that *he* wants
to know. My role is to recognize what motivates him, and to provide
safe opportunities for him to learn. I offer materials and
activities that I think he might enjoy, based on his other interests,
and he is free to choose what he wants to do. I believe in him, and
his right to a life that makes him happy.

This belief in my youngest child led me to look at my other children,
and gradually my dh and I began to reevaluate all that we thought we
knew about homeschooling, education and learning. I still don't call
myself an *unschooler* or what we do as *unschooling*. I have an
instinctive resistance to labels, I suppose. I do admit, though,
that we are closer to *unschooling* than anything else on the
homeschool continuum.

Sorry for the length...my son's story doesn't really have a condensed
version. <g> I hope that other parents raising children with special
needs will recognize that even the most disabled child has the right
to make choices for his life, no matter how limited that life might
be.

Debbie





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids <[email protected]>

>>I don't know if unschooling works for every child with special
needs; and I wouldn't presume to assure a mother that it can or
will. I can share my experience with unschooling a child with
special needs, <snip>

>>Anyway, back to unschooling...I learned quite a while ago that my
son will *only* learn what he is motivated to learn; but more
importantly, that he *can* learn when it is something that *he* wants
to know. My role is to recognize what motivates him, and to provide
safe opportunities for him to learn. I offer materials and
activities that I think he might enjoy, based on his other interests,
and he is free to choose what he wants to do.>>

What a wonderful story to share with other parents of severely
disabled children. You are probably voicing an opinion that is so
different from what the experts are saying. I know you said you don't
like labels, but you sure sound to me like you're unschooling with
your terrific little boy.

>>I believe in him, and his right to a life that makes him happy.>>

This gave me chills. It's my wish for all of us.

Life is good.
~Mary

AnneO <[email protected]>

Debbie ~ I finally found time to read your post and I'm glad I did.
Wow. You are an inspiration. Thank you.

~ Anne

--- In [email protected], "myfunny4 <Debbies4@c...>"
<Debbies4@c...> wrote:
> I don't know if unschooling works for every child with special
needs;
> and I wouldn't presume to assure a mother that it can or will. I
can
> share my experience with unschooling a child with special needs,
> although I didn't know that I was doing so until I learned about
> unschooling from another homeschooler. In fact, to my great
> surprise, I was *accused* of being an unschooler with my youngest
> child.
>
> My son is evaluated and considered - by those who do such things by
> training and profession - to be severely disabled. He was born
> neurologically normal, but he was also born with a genetic disease
> called Severe Combined Immune Deficiency (SCID), also known,
> unfortunately, as the "boy in the bubble" disease. The disease is
> fatal without a bone marrow transplant, which my son underwent when
> he was 6 months old. Unfortunately, he struggled through every
> complication that could arise. He survived but the cost was great;
> he suffered permanent injury to his brain, his liver, and his
> intestines. As a result, he has quadraplegic cerebral palsy,
mental
> retardation, epilepsy, vision impairment, and he is non-verbal. He
> takes no food by mouth, and is fed formula and medications through
a
> tube placed directly into his intestine. He has a permanent
central
> venous catheter placed in his chest for his daily IV medications
and
> fluids. The bone marrow transplant was only partially successful;
> and my son is hospitalized frequently for severe, life-threatening
> infections.
>
> His disabilities are awful; however, *he* is a delightful, joy-
filled
> child with a great curiousity about the world. My son has a
> decreased life expectancy; he is unlikely to survive beyond his
> teens. And while this is painful to think about, since I love him
so
> completely, this knowledge has also freed us in a way that my dh
and
> I had never imagined. We are free to live completely for today.
>
> I *do* have therapists for my son who help him gain mobility; he
has
> a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist. Did I *ask*
him
> if he wanted therapy? No. And he does not have the cognitive
> ability to understand the question even if I did. Does *he*
> determine what his goals are for therapy? Yes <g>. I've seen
> therapists try to make my son do what he does *not* want to do, and
I
> can only admire my son's tenacity in sticking to his right NOT to
do
> something. <g>
>
> Anyway, back to unschooling...I learned quite a while ago that my
son
> will *only* learn what he is motivated to learn; but more
> importantly, that he *can* learn when it is something that *he*
wants
> to know. My role is to recognize what motivates him, and to
provide
> safe opportunities for him to learn. I offer materials and
> activities that I think he might enjoy, based on his other
interests,
> and he is free to choose what he wants to do. I believe in him,
and
> his right to a life that makes him happy.
>
> This belief in my youngest child led me to look at my other
children,
> and gradually my dh and I began to reevaluate all that we thought
we
> knew about homeschooling, education and learning. I still don't
call
> myself an *unschooler* or what we do as *unschooling*. I have an
> instinctive resistance to labels, I suppose. I do admit, though,
> that we are closer to *unschooling* than anything else on the
> homeschool continuum.
>
> Sorry for the length...my son's story doesn't really have a
condensed
> version. <g> I hope that other parents raising children with
special
> needs will recognize that even the most disabled child has the
right
> to make choices for his life, no matter how limited that life might
> be.
>
> Debbie

Cathy Hilde

Debbie,
This is so beautifully said!
Cathy

" Anyway, back to unschooling...I learned quite a while ago that my son
will *only* learn what he is motivated to learn; but more
importantly, that he *can* learn when it is something that *he* wants
to know. My role is to recognize what motivates him, and to provide
safe opportunities for him to learn. I offer materials and
activities that I think he might enjoy, based on his other interests,
and he is free to choose what he wants to do. I believe in him, and
his right to a life that makes him happy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]