Alan & Brenda Leonard

2/5/03 19:18:

> Well, thats the problem.. She does NOT want to leave her house.. I know she
> feels like, she's lost her husband, she doesnt want to lose EVERYTHING this
> is hers.. But, its not really feasible for her children to continue to rotate
> staying with her.

Teresa,

Maybe it isn't feasible for family members to keep staying with her in the
long run, but perhaps for a few months. It takes time to grieve, and your
grandmother probably needs her home to do that. She needs to walk though
the rooms they shared and cry over wonderful memories.

There is not a great amount of practicality, perhaps, but much wisdom in the
standard counselling advice to make no major changes for one year after the
death of someone you were very attached to. Maybe it won't be a year, but
maybe this week, this month, is just too soon.

brenda

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In a message dated 2/5/03 3:31:43 PM Eastern Standard Time,
abtleo@... writes:

> There is not a great amount of practicality, perhaps, but much wisdom in the
> standard counselling advice to make no major changes for one year after the
> death of someone you were very attached to. Maybe it won't be a year, but
> maybe this week, this month, is just too soon.
>
> brenda
>

Brenda, I think you're right.. And most likely, we will just all pitch in and
take turns staying. 4 daughters, 2 sons, .. at least 8 grandchildren (
willing to stay, maybe more.. out of 17 still living).. thats two weeks worth
right there.. So, we would only have to stay once every two weeks. Or two
nights a month.. The only "bad" thing about rotating, taking turns. so many
folks coming in and out.. Grandma would never rest or feel "settled" She is
very difficult to "take care of" she insists on taking care of everyone
else.. Im afraid Grandma would constantly be in a state of "hostess"
Although she may not.. That perception is based on her attitudes and
behaviors before Grandpa died.. She may let other folks care for her during
her grief. Its hard to say though.. After the funeral, her biggest concern
was that everyone got something to eat..
'
Teresa


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