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On the topic of music.. We just found out today ( after several dead ends)
that Anna can join the local homeschool group band.!! She plays clarinet and
she loved band at school. She's really been missing making progress on her
clarinet. The greatest thing is, I was worried about the fees, afraid it
was gonnna squeeze us, the man who directs the band does it voluntarily on
his day off !!.. We only have to pay $5 a month for sheet music!!.. ANNA IS
SO HAPPY!!.. Ethan may even decide to learn to play drums. This is just
great. We are slowly becoming involved in the homeschool community. Anna
and I have also decided to go on the Spring trip with the local homeschool
group to Washington DC. She is really looking forward to meeting some new
friends. We are soo psyched about the trip, it should be great fun. All
this good news is only overshadowed by Landons continuing bad attitude about
us homeschooling. He said some very harsh and mean things to us at Dinner
tonight. I told him.. "Please.. do not say anything else negative." I cant
just tune him out.. hes pretty insistent ( I WONDER where he gets that??)
Its ripping our family apart. I dont know what to do..

Teresa


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In a message dated 1/28/03 7:44:19 PM Eastern Standard Time, grlynbl@...
writes:

> this good news is only overshadowed by Landons continuing bad attitude about
>
> us homeschooling. He said some very harsh and mean things to us at Dinner
> tonight. I told him.. "Please.. do not say anything else negative." I
> cant
> just tune him out.. hes pretty insistent ( I WONDER where he gets that??)
>
> Its ripping our family apart. I dont know what to do..
>

Is Landon your older son that decided to stay in public school?
Pam G.


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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/29/03 11:06:29 AM Eastern Standard Time, genant2@...
writes:

> Is Landon your older son that decided to stay in public school?
>

Yes. And I 've tried to talk to him.. Tell him this decision is does NOT
mean that he was brought up "wrong" or that him staying in public school is
wrong. He's said, he feels like the other kids are just "getting off easy"
And hes also made lots of remarks to the effect that they wont learn, they'll
fail in life, hes just waiting for it to all blow up in my face. He DOES
have the option to quit school.. he says he CAN'T.. and he doesnt want to,
hes got too many friends and has too much fun at school. He's brilliant,
but he barely passes in school, and I dont hassle him about it. Then he
complains that I dont care about his education.. I think he just "fails" to
try to rile me up. I've said before, ( and thanks Pam, for at least asking
about the situation) my family is not supportive either. Its really tough.
really more than I can convey here. I would go so far as to say Ive
considered taking Anna, Ethan and JP and just moving far away. But, to me,
that would be abandoning Landon ( and my husband) and letting "them" win by
running away. .. Sorry for dumping all of this stuff.. ..I just have no
where else to let them go

Teresa


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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/29/03 11:26:44 AM Eastern Standard Time, grlynbl@...
writes:

> my family is not supportive either. Its really tough.
> really more than I can convey here.

It must be hard with family that don't support a decision but to have that
family in the house with you must be more difficult. Sorry I have no
suggestions. Never have been in that situation or even close to it. Hope
someone else can offer some suggestions though. There are very creative
people here.
Pam G.


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Fetteroll

on 1/28/03 7:43 PM, grlynbl@... at grlynbl@... wrote:

> He said some very harsh and mean things to us at Dinner
> tonight. I told him.. "Please.. do not say anything else negative."

How are you saying it? Are you pleading? Or are you saying "No, don't,"
firmly and with confidence?

You could keep repeating calmly and firmly "No, don't. Talk to me privately
if you have concerns," as soon as he starts to say something.

> I cant
> just tune him out.. hes pretty insistent ( I WONDER where he gets that??)
> Its ripping our family apart. I dont know what to do..

You shouldn't tune him out. The rest of the family is listening in. He needs
a better outlet for his fears and concerns. He's trying to control things
that aren't his to control.

Have him come here and tell us what his fears are.

> And I 've tried to talk to him..

Are you trying ot reason with him and convince him you're right and he's
wrong or are you firmly setting your own boundaries that must not be
crossed? Think of this as hitting you. You need to be firm that this is your
personal boundary and he must not cross it.

And, like the hitting, there's reasons behind it. Talk to him about his
concerns. Give him some articles to read.

But also understand that you're making a lie of everything you and he
beleived about what people must do to succeed in life. Everything you made
him do, everything he's convinced himself he must do because it's what
people have to do, is wrong. He has a right to resent that. He has a right
to resent that he'd feel off kilter if he didn't do what he's been told he
must do. He *has* to believe you're wrong or he's doing it all for nothing.

Joyce