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In a message dated 1/27/03 9:49:26 AM Eastern Standard Time,
rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

> know for those who can barely find time to feed their families this does
> not make sense. But if you can understand that it doesn't matter if it's
> pigs in a blanket or prime rib, it's the EVENT that dinner is more than the
>
> type or amount of food. This becomes more important as children find their
>
> way in the world and have jobs and other things going on. I think
> sometimes
> if our children are home with us every day all day, we might sometimes take
>
> that time a little for granted.
>
> I know that I did before but try to make an effort not to anymore.
>
> I probably didn't help anyone understand it better but it isn't about
> actual
> food at all.
>
> glena
>

Wonderfully said, Glena. I agree. And I was thinking when folks kept
listing all the things they do with thier children, all the times they are
together so they dont "need" family meal together time... Its not about the
quantity of time you spend with each child. For us, its more about ALL of us
being together as a family. Its that time of day ( and NO, its not every
day) that we are all in one place at the same time. It feels very close and
intimate. And, your right, whether its bologna sandwiches or rack of lamb,
the comfort comes from being together, not so much the food. Its checking
in with each other.. Sharing the days events, accomplisments, concerns.
Learning from each other about how we each deal with and handle things. Its
getting and giving advice and support for each other. Its basically an
affirmation that we are a family and we are here for each other.

Another thing that struck me while reading some of the responses to familes
eating together.. For me, preparing a meal for my family is an act of love.
Its a sacrifice of my time and effort that I gladly give. They appreciate
it. I dont HAVE to cook a sit down meal.. and for most of our eating, I
dont. But when I do, it shows that I want to take the extra time and effort
to create an opportunity for us all to be together. I usually get several
"thank yous, that was good".. etc.

Its NEVER been mandatory to come eat with the rest of the family. I dont
require them to come and eat.. I only inform them that the meal is ready.
Lots of times they have helped prepare it and set the table ( of thier own
accord). Occasionally someone will be engrossed in a TV show or a game or a
phone conversation. It's that persons choice to continue thier activity or
come eat with the family. 95% of the time, they opt to come join us. The
times they don't, they may join us later in the meal or miss it all together.
I can tell the disappointment that they missed the meal. Yeah, they can
eat leftovers ,but its not the same. The sound of laughter and discussion
is usually luring enough for them to leave thier activity and come join the
family. I would never contend that that eating meals together as a family
is the "right way" or "better way" But, it has value for our family and
that is what is important to me .

Teresa


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