[email protected]

Julie and Liza.. . about preparing a meal and all sitting down to eat.. ..
ME TOO. Ditto on what both of you ladies said regarding this. If I dont
cook a nice sit down meal in a couple of days.. the kids complain and get out
of sorts. They really like the security and comfort of a home cooked meal
shared together. I'de say I cook a big sit down meal at least 5 times a
week. Breakfast and lunch are pretty much "as you go" , but Dinner is a our
family meal. But, hey, Im a great cook too, so my family is spoiled :-)

Teresa


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Robin Clevenger

--- In [email protected], Liza Sabater <liza@c...>

>We still ask our kids to sit at the table with us. Dinner is not just
>about eating, it is about socializing.

I think it's a matter of what works for your family. One thing I like about our unschooling/unjobbing lifestyle is that we all get to spend a lot of time together. We don't have to make a point to take time to connect or socialize, because we do that at various times during the day. Today I snuggled in bed with the kids for half an hour, then I went swimming and DH spent 3 hours with the kids, then DH went to work for awhile and I spent the late morning/afternoon with the kids, then DH came home and we all went for a walk down to the store for a popsicle and walked home in the rain. We'll spend the evening hours as a family, then DH and I will get time together after the kids go to sleep. It all works out somehow.

>When it comes to eating and socializing, Americans should take a cue
>from the rest of the world. Really. The chef in me takes offense at how
>people treat food. There is no soul to it, no joy. At home, especially,
>most people just eat to eat, they don't dine.

Well, for me I'm an on-the-go kind of person. There's a lot of things I'd rather be doing than eating, frankly. I like food, it's good nourishment for the body, but that's mostly what it is to me. If you gave me the choice between being able to have a really gorgeous 4-course meal and going on a 40 mile bike ride, I'd choose the cycling any old day. Now someone else might choose the meal, but that doesn't make them any more joyful, soulful, or refined than me. I get my joy elsewheres.

We don't eat out much, mostly because we'd rather spend the money on other things, so we do eat at home, and I do cook sometimes (like the yummy Phad Thai tonight), but as often as not, our family is snacking our way through the day. We eat a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, and I try to add in some kind of protein and grains along the way. Sometimes the kids are hungry when I'm not. Often I'm eating or DH is eating when no-one else is since both of us are training and frequently hungry. I do bake things with the kids, we made bread yesterday and muffins the day before, but frankly for me the big sit-down meal is overrated. My body also feels a lot better when I eat smaller meals more frequently. I don't like to ever feel full, I feel slowed down for hours after a big meal.

Every now and then I like to "dine" and really sit back and enjoy some good food, but the rest of the time just fuel me up!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) My underwater swimming dolphin
and Asa (10/5/99) The girl who makes everyone laugh
http://www.exmsft.com/~robinc/ Flying Clevenger Family Webpage


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Mary Bianco

>From: "Robin Clevenger" <diamondair@...>


<<(snip)I think it's a matter of what works for your family. One thing I
like about our unschooling/unjobbing lifestyle is that we all get to spend a
lot of time together. We don't have to make a point to take time to connect
or socialize, because we do that at various times during the day>>


Oh yes I agree. I have always cooked meals daily. Meals as I knew them with
meat, starch and veggies and possibly salad too. I have been doing this for
26 years non stop. Even when I was single and unattached (briefly <BEG>) I
still cooked for myself every day. About 6 months ago, possibly more, I
noticed that the children weren't eating like they usually did and I was
throwing out a lot of leftovers. I was wasting food and hating it. We were
all so busy and everyone was on their own hunger schedule and mealtime for
us, well, it actually was a hassle. Didn't seem like anyone wanted to really
come to the table when it "was time". And I AM a good cook. LOL!!! That's
when I started to question whether it was necessary for me to keep the
dinner routine (yes routine) going. That's when I realized that we were
spending a lot of time together talking and playing and sharing, dinner
wasn't important for us.



<<Well, for me I'm an on-the-go kind of person. There's a lot of things I'd
rather be doing than eating, frankly. I like food, it's good nourishment for
the body, but that's mostly what it is to me.
We don't eat out much, mostly because we'd rather spend the money on other
things, so we do eat at home, and I do cook sometimes (like the yummy Phad
Thai tonight), but as often as not, our family is snacking our way through
the day.>>


That's what we do now. And the kids actually eat better and seem to do
better because of it. My husband and I try to every night sit down together
alone and eat. For us, it is necessary to connect. Our time together is much
less than with the kids. And during the day, well I know how you feel about
rather doing other things. Joe will actually call me to find out if I ate
anything. I just tend to forget I'm so busy with other things.


<<Every now and then I like to "dine" and really sit back and enjoy some
good food, but the rest of the time just fuel me up!>>


Same here. Every so often I have a great need to go out with Joe to a
restaurant and have someone else wait on me and bring me good food!! I'm
starting to feel that again these days. It's time!!!

Mary B


_________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]

Right after Keith's company went home and took the four year old girl Holly
had been playing with, Holly and Keith set the table, I finished the chicken,
cooked some broccoli at Holly's request (Keith doesn't like it).

We ate, and then Holly had us play "high/low" where we each told the best and
worst thing so far that day. She learned it from another family. Then we
played a board game called Under Cover.

There are enough leftovers for Kirby and Marty, but they'll have two
overnight other kids and there might not be lots for everyone, but they can
supplement.

Sandra

kayb85 <[email protected]>

" One thing I like about our unschooling/unjobbing lifestyle is that
we all get to spend a lot of time together."

I would love to hear more about your unjobbing lifestyle if you have
time.

"I like food, it's good nourishment for the body, but that's mostly
what it is to me."

I think that's how it should be, and I'm working towards that as my
goal.

"My body also feels a lot better when I eat smaller meals more
frequently. I don't like to ever feel full, I feel slowed down for
hours after
a big meal."

I agree with you about feeling better without big meals.

Sheila

Fetteroll

on 1/25/03 6:33 PM, grlynbl@... at grlynbl@... wrote:

> Julie and Liza.. . about preparing a meal and all sitting down to eat.. ..
> ME TOO. Ditto on what both of you ladies said regarding this. If I dont
> cook a nice sit down meal in a couple of days.. the kids complain and get out
> of sorts.

But, see, the discussion isn't about whether eating all together is better
than everyone eating whenever they're hungry. The discussion is about
parents deciding a nightly family sit down dinner is a great idea or
traditional or "just the way things must be" and dictating that the children
need to comply whether they like it or not.

It's about thinking outside the box.

Joyce

Julie Bogart <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], Fetteroll
<fetteroll@e...> wrote:

>
> But, see, the discussion isn't about whether eating all together
is better
> than everyone eating whenever they're hungry. The discussion
is about
> parents deciding a nightly family sit down dinner is a great idea
or
> traditional or "just the way things must be" and dictating that
the children
> need to comply whether they like it or not.
>
> It's about thinking outside the box.

I didn't think it was about forcing compliance. I thought it was
about whether dinner time was an appealing family time, worth
putting out for. If I thought that most nights my kdis wouldn't be
interested in eating together, then you're right! Why would I make
a meal or set the table?

But in our house, dinner turns out to be really fun and special to
us. So it's worth putting out the effort to cook well and make a
lovely table.

The fact that no two families practice dinner the same way is fine
by me. But sometimes in our rush to make all things optional,
we might actually forget to *offer* something that is predictable
and rich and full of other benefits.

You know—Thanksgiving is typically celebrated by all Americans
every year. This year we had ham instead of turkey. But we did
still celebrate. And maybe many others didn't, but most people
do enjoy and appreciate T-giving. If I hadn't been celebrating for a
number of years, it might be nice to hear an "ad" for why it is a
fun holiday to celebrate.

I feel similarly about eating meals together. I know that we don't
always eat together every night (we rarely eat together on Sunday
nights, for instance) but it is a family habit that we enjoy and I just
thought it was worth mentioning the merits of it again.

That's all!

If you like to do it another way—great.

Sometimes it helps me to have someone say, "Hey, this "X" is
great" or "Try this, you might have forgotten how good it can be."

Julie B

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/26/03 11:28:51 AM, julie@... writes:

<< I didn't think it was about forcing compliance. I thought it was

about whether dinner time was an appealing family time, worth

putting out for. >>

The question was whether kids could opt out or not.

Sandra

Julie Bogart <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected],
SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 1/26/03 11:28:51 AM, julie@b... writes:
>
> << I didn't think it was about forcing compliance. I thought it
was
>
> about whether dinner time was an appealing family time, worth
>
> putting out for. >>
>
> The question was whether kids could opt out or not.

I know this is picky, but the convo started with me asking Pam if
her kids sat with her even though they didn't eat together. I wasn't
meaning that they should but wondered if they did. This
spawned the dialog about whether dinner together was
necessary or good.

I was simply sharing why we love it, not that everyone should
copy us.

Julie

Fetteroll

on 1/26/03 2:31 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> The question was whether kids could opt out or not.

Well, I shouldn't have said anything anyway. It wasn't important.

I'm being overly sensitive to the bandwagon jumping in lieu of idea
discussion that seems to be riling the residents on the message boards :-/

Sorry about that.

Joyce

the_clevengers <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], "Julie Bogart
<julie@b...>" <julie@b...> wrote:
> You know—Thanksgiving is typically celebrated by all Americans
> every year. This year we had ham instead of turkey. But we did
> still celebrate. And maybe many others didn't, but most people
> do enjoy and appreciate T-giving.

We always go camping over the Thanksiving weekend. It's great, the
campgrounds and hiking trails and ski slopes are empty because the
rest of the country is at home eating! Different strokes...

Blue Skies,
-Robin-

the_clevengers <[email protected]>

--- In [email protected], "kayb85 <sheran@p...>"
<sheran@p...> wrote:
> " One thing I like about our unschooling/unjobbing lifestyle is
that
> we all get to spend a lot of time together."
>
> I would love to hear more about your unjobbing lifestyle if you
have
> time.


Well, my DH runs a cleaning business where he cleans airplanes
(corporate planes like Learjets). So he sets his own hours and
chooses which clients he wants to take. I like the idea that we can
have conversations like we did last night:
DH: I'm so tired of the rain, I want to be someplace sunny.
Me: Well, why don't we drive to Southern California?
DH: How about next week?
Me: I have the homeschool fair to do, how about the week after?
DH: Okay

Having the flexibility of controlling our own time is very important
to us!

He also became his own contractor this year and built an 8,000 sq ft.
hangar. That was a learning experience for him as he had never done
contracting, dealt with getting permits from the city, pouring
gigantic slabs of cement, getting plumbers and electricians, etc. In
a sense, it's like unschooling for grownups, it was something he was
really excited to do. He also did some flight instructing this year,
and as flying is a great passion for him, that's more play than work
as well. Now that he's done, he's looking around to see what kind of
project he'd like to tackle next. Meanwhile, I wrote my first novel
and am now in the process of editing it. I hope to shop it around to
agents and publishers in a couple of months. I just finished writing
my first article as well, and I might try my hand at some more if I
can sell the first one to a magazine.

We try to each do things that we love to do, and try to make enough
money to get by. Our goal for both of us is to have enough money
coming in eventually from our various enterprises that any work we do
will be optional. I really like the approach detailed in books
like "Multiple Streams of Income". Neither of us ever wants to work
in a job where one hour of our life equals some bit of money, where
we are basically selling our time. It's our goal to use our passions
to create projects (like a hangar we can rent out or a book that
produces royalties) that will keep generating income so that we don't
have to be wage slaves.

In the meantime, our sporadic approach to work means that one of us
is always with the kids, and that DH gets to take a more equal hand
in parenting than many fathers get to. It works well for our family.

Blue Skies,
-Robin-

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/2003 1:01:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,
diamondair@... writes:


> We always go camping over the Thanksiving weekend. It's great, the
> campgrounds and hiking trails and ski slopes are empty because the
> rest of the country is at home eating! Different strokes...
>
>>>>>>>>>
Camping in the snow doesn't seem like that much fun though. Sitting at the
fireplace in the lodge does have a nice appeal to it though LOL ---Tammy


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[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/03 1:01:28 PM Eastern Standard Time,
diamondair@... writes:

> We always go camping over the Thanksiving weekend. It's great, the
> campgrounds and hiking trails and ski slopes are empty because the
> rest of the country is at home eating! Different strokes

We went camping this Thanksgiving. We went with my sisters family.. It was
GREAT.. cccooollddd, but still great. We pit cooked a turkey... that was
cool too.. except that when we dug it up, we sliced into it with the shovel..
LOL. Oh well, live and learn. We had a back up turkey breast in the dutch
oven it was great too... But all in all, it was NOT your tyical big sit down
Thanksgiving Feast.

Teresa


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