sugar bad or not? or the lies are parents told us.
rebecca <[email protected]>
Okay, I've been reading, googling chating with Jason looking stuff up
and am starting to get the whole sugar, food colors thing. I guess
that I'm coming from being told that I was a hyperactive child. Sugar
was something that I was not aloud as a child, I had my first candy
bar at 13. I was able to have cake on my birthday and sometimes at
others, but it always had to have the frosting scraped off. I was
lectured never to have anything with yellow food coloring because it
made me bitchy, red and purple would keep me up all night, the list
was endless. I was put on the Finegold diet. My mom told me that they
had me tested for food allergies and that I was allergic to refined
sugars, food colorings and some additives. I was 6 when she told me
all this and I belived it.
So after all my reading this morning I called up and asked my dad if
it was true, guess what he said...nope it was not, I have never been
tested for any type of allergies and he dosen't remember why they
told me everything that they did or why they didn't let me have
anything with color or sugar.
So now I'm kinda angry, and I am determined not to do this to my
kids, but I have 25 years of programing to get passed and I am sure
that I have convinced myself that I have seen "hyperactive behavior"
in my kids. I don't know how to let go of all of it.
Thanx everybody, for helping me with this.
Rebecca
and am starting to get the whole sugar, food colors thing. I guess
that I'm coming from being told that I was a hyperactive child. Sugar
was something that I was not aloud as a child, I had my first candy
bar at 13. I was able to have cake on my birthday and sometimes at
others, but it always had to have the frosting scraped off. I was
lectured never to have anything with yellow food coloring because it
made me bitchy, red and purple would keep me up all night, the list
was endless. I was put on the Finegold diet. My mom told me that they
had me tested for food allergies and that I was allergic to refined
sugars, food colorings and some additives. I was 6 when she told me
all this and I belived it.
So after all my reading this morning I called up and asked my dad if
it was true, guess what he said...nope it was not, I have never been
tested for any type of allergies and he dosen't remember why they
told me everything that they did or why they didn't let me have
anything with color or sugar.
So now I'm kinda angry, and I am determined not to do this to my
kids, but I have 25 years of programing to get passed and I am sure
that I have convinced myself that I have seen "hyperactive behavior"
in my kids. I don't know how to let go of all of it.
Thanx everybody, for helping me with this.
Rebecca
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/19/03 10:13:40 AM, elfmama92104@... writes:
<< So after all my reading this morning I called up and asked my dad if
it was true, guess what he said...nope it was not, I have never been
tested for any type of allergies and he dosen't remember why they
told me everything that they did or why they didn't let me have
anything with color or sugar. >>
And I think this is the kind of situation LOTS of kids are in.
And I think when a mom says "I know my children better than anyone, and when
they eat boiled eggs they have bad dreams" or whatever is not being very
scientific, and often is just justifying something she wants to do or doesn't
want to do.
Correlation without cause, again.
My mom and a doctor agreed (for no great reason) that I was allergic to
chocolate. My "symptoms" were excema patches inside the bends of my arms
(nearly constant) and the backs of my legs (more rare). That's it. Nothing
else. So I was deprived of chocolate for seven or eight years. When I ate
chocolate on the sly, there was no change whatsoever in the condition, but
had I reported that I would have been in trouble for being sneaky.
Also they said nylon. I still don't wear nylon much. It bothers me. I'm
always aware of it. I didn't mind wearing cotton underwear. Nylon stockings
don't bother me. But the nylon cloth material, like slips, that's a little
irritating.
So my mom didn't lie, per se, she just jumped on a magic "cure" for something
that probably, in retrospect, had more to do with my needing more baths. We
rarely had a shower while I was growing up (for a year or so when I was five
or six), and my mom "made" us take baths once a week. Not enough. There
were four girls, and we only ever had one bathroom. When I was really little
it was water poured into a #2 washtub. We had a water heater, but not a
finished bathroom for many years. Outhouse and washtub.
Holly is sensitive to bubble baths and fancy bath soaps. I was too. I used
to use Ivory soap or bath oil. NOT good for excema.
Every time my mom gave the other kids chocolate and me something else, she
should've given me chocolate and let me play in the bathtub for a while
afterward.
"What's done is done," but it doesn't need to be done with MY kids. They
talk to me about what bothers them and doesn't, whether it's food or soap or
clothing or whatever, and I listen to them. I help them figure out from
trial and error whether something they believe is true IS true (if they want
to figure it out--Marty has superstitions), and I remind them that something
they don't like now, they might like when they're older. Holly has lately
discovered mushrooms and avocado. Instead of "I don't like spinach"
(PERIOD) we encourage kids to say "I don't like spinach yet." or "I don't
like it these days," or whatever. To leave the door open for change.
I had a friend who was a known and admitted liar (although from time to time
she would deny that she ever lied, of course). I kept her kids sometimes.
She had told one of her kids he was allergic to milk. He knew he wasn't, and
so ignored her.
Note, first: When a child knows a mom is bullshitting and he starts to
ignore her, where does that end?
She told me plainly once that he wasn't allergic to it, but she TOLD people
he was, because she just didn't want him to have it.
Then once when she left him at my house she said, "Dane's allergic to milk."
Right. For years I let him eat what he wanted to and never had a problem.
I ignored her too. Soon I ignored everything she said. Soon I assumed what
she said was likely the opposite of the truth. That was a shame.
Some years later she moved to another state and asked me to write her a
recommendation for a job. I asked her if she was more honest than she had
been before, because I was unwilling to recommend her if she hadn't changed
that aspect of her behavior. (There was an SCA overlay to the whole thing,
too, and she had left some people in situations I had had to clean up after,
but still...)
Long story about another mom consciously and admittedly lying to a child and
others about an allergy.
Sandra
<< So after all my reading this morning I called up and asked my dad if
it was true, guess what he said...nope it was not, I have never been
tested for any type of allergies and he dosen't remember why they
told me everything that they did or why they didn't let me have
anything with color or sugar. >>
And I think this is the kind of situation LOTS of kids are in.
And I think when a mom says "I know my children better than anyone, and when
they eat boiled eggs they have bad dreams" or whatever is not being very
scientific, and often is just justifying something she wants to do or doesn't
want to do.
Correlation without cause, again.
My mom and a doctor agreed (for no great reason) that I was allergic to
chocolate. My "symptoms" were excema patches inside the bends of my arms
(nearly constant) and the backs of my legs (more rare). That's it. Nothing
else. So I was deprived of chocolate for seven or eight years. When I ate
chocolate on the sly, there was no change whatsoever in the condition, but
had I reported that I would have been in trouble for being sneaky.
Also they said nylon. I still don't wear nylon much. It bothers me. I'm
always aware of it. I didn't mind wearing cotton underwear. Nylon stockings
don't bother me. But the nylon cloth material, like slips, that's a little
irritating.
So my mom didn't lie, per se, she just jumped on a magic "cure" for something
that probably, in retrospect, had more to do with my needing more baths. We
rarely had a shower while I was growing up (for a year or so when I was five
or six), and my mom "made" us take baths once a week. Not enough. There
were four girls, and we only ever had one bathroom. When I was really little
it was water poured into a #2 washtub. We had a water heater, but not a
finished bathroom for many years. Outhouse and washtub.
Holly is sensitive to bubble baths and fancy bath soaps. I was too. I used
to use Ivory soap or bath oil. NOT good for excema.
Every time my mom gave the other kids chocolate and me something else, she
should've given me chocolate and let me play in the bathtub for a while
afterward.
"What's done is done," but it doesn't need to be done with MY kids. They
talk to me about what bothers them and doesn't, whether it's food or soap or
clothing or whatever, and I listen to them. I help them figure out from
trial and error whether something they believe is true IS true (if they want
to figure it out--Marty has superstitions), and I remind them that something
they don't like now, they might like when they're older. Holly has lately
discovered mushrooms and avocado. Instead of "I don't like spinach"
(PERIOD) we encourage kids to say "I don't like spinach yet." or "I don't
like it these days," or whatever. To leave the door open for change.
I had a friend who was a known and admitted liar (although from time to time
she would deny that she ever lied, of course). I kept her kids sometimes.
She had told one of her kids he was allergic to milk. He knew he wasn't, and
so ignored her.
Note, first: When a child knows a mom is bullshitting and he starts to
ignore her, where does that end?
She told me plainly once that he wasn't allergic to it, but she TOLD people
he was, because she just didn't want him to have it.
Then once when she left him at my house she said, "Dane's allergic to milk."
Right. For years I let him eat what he wanted to and never had a problem.
I ignored her too. Soon I ignored everything she said. Soon I assumed what
she said was likely the opposite of the truth. That was a shame.
Some years later she moved to another state and asked me to write her a
recommendation for a job. I asked her if she was more honest than she had
been before, because I was unwilling to recommend her if she hadn't changed
that aspect of her behavior. (There was an SCA overlay to the whole thing,
too, and she had left some people in situations I had had to clean up after,
but still...)
Long story about another mom consciously and admittedly lying to a child and
others about an allergy.
Sandra
kayb85 <[email protected]>
> Then once when she left him at my house she said, "Dane's allergicto milk."
>problem.
> Right. For years I let him eat what he wanted to and never had a
On the other hand, there are some people who really are allergic to
foods. I've held my son as his body went limp, his lips got swollen,
and he had difficulty breathing. I had been feeling bad for him, and
I let him have a piece of birthday cake and something fried in butter
on the same day.
Sheila
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/19/03 7:41:04 PM, sheran@... writes:
<< On the other hand, there are some people who really are allergic to
foods. >>
No doubt.
This boy's mom had already TOLD me that when she told people he was allergic
that she was lying.
It's not a question of whether allergies actually exist. It's whether some
moms will lie to children and others when they know there is no allergy, just
to control something in their world.
And they do it at the expense of their integrity, and ultimately at the
expense of their child and their relationship with their child.
Sandra
<< On the other hand, there are some people who really are allergic to
foods. >>
No doubt.
This boy's mom had already TOLD me that when she told people he was allergic
that she was lying.
It's not a question of whether allergies actually exist. It's whether some
moms will lie to children and others when they know there is no allergy, just
to control something in their world.
And they do it at the expense of their integrity, and ultimately at the
expense of their child and their relationship with their child.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/19/2003 9:54:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
It's not a question of whether allergies actually exist. It's whether some
seeing friends get away with all sorts of real allergies, I made mine up. <G>
To control MY world! <GGG> I wasn't "made" to drink milk at home, but I WAS
at school and at friends' houses. BLECH! My "allergy "worked"!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
It's not a question of whether allergies actually exist. It's whether some
> moms will lie to children and others when they know there is no allergy,In school, I was "allergic" to milk. I HATE milk. Always hated it. So after
> just
> to control something in their world.
seeing friends get away with all sorts of real allergies, I made mine up. <G>
To control MY world! <GGG> I wasn't "made" to drink milk at home, but I WAS
at school and at friends' houses. BLECH! My "allergy "worked"!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
"kayb85 " wrote:
intolarence can mean eczma, asthma, maybe a rash, behavioural problems not always instantly with the problem food.. All problems but not life threatening. A true allergy can be life threatening.
My kids develop ecxzma (I can never spell that) and did as babies because they are intolerant of dairy and eggs. It can be quite nasty - child number 2 was covered from the neck down on one occasion in
itching weeping sores. Everytime he moved his skin cracked. It was pretty unpleasant.
I think its important people tell their kids friends which it is so that accidents don't happen. Ever since I moved to Virginia I've found people going to see 'their' allergist and going on about their
allergies. So much so that I'm afriad I've stopped listening. Either Virginia is a super-allergic place - 3 out of every 4 people I've met here seem to have allergies compared to 2 people back home (one
was allergic to horses, one a true allergy to eggs - anaphalctic shock etc) or generally they mean food intolerances.
Mind you, maybe there's something about Virginia. Like I said, back home I only knew two people with proper allergies, maybe a scattering with hay-fever (I get that myself) but here I know scads of
people allergic to cats, dogs, guinea-pigs, dust, pollen, mould etc etc. It's like an epidemic. Perhaps its the pollution here in North Virginia? The odd thing is, my husband has asthma and used to need
one of those inhalers. Since we moved to VA he's not had one asthma attack. Which is lucky. Cos we've lost his inhaler.
Anyway, I'm rambling again.
Shyrley
> > Then once when she left him at my house she said, "Dane's allergicA lot of people confuse a food intolerance with an allergy. An allergic reaction to a food quite often means swelling, difficulty beathing, rashesetc etc as soon as the substance is introduced. An
> to milk."
> >
> > Right. For years I let him eat what he wanted to and never had a
> problem.
>
> On the other hand, there are some people who really are allergic to
> foods. I've held my son as his body went limp, his lips got swollen,
> and he had difficulty breathing. I had been feeling bad for him, and
> I let him have a piece of birthday cake and something fried in butter
> on the same day.
>
> Sheila
>
intolarence can mean eczma, asthma, maybe a rash, behavioural problems not always instantly with the problem food.. All problems but not life threatening. A true allergy can be life threatening.
My kids develop ecxzma (I can never spell that) and did as babies because they are intolerant of dairy and eggs. It can be quite nasty - child number 2 was covered from the neck down on one occasion in
itching weeping sores. Everytime he moved his skin cracked. It was pretty unpleasant.
I think its important people tell their kids friends which it is so that accidents don't happen. Ever since I moved to Virginia I've found people going to see 'their' allergist and going on about their
allergies. So much so that I'm afriad I've stopped listening. Either Virginia is a super-allergic place - 3 out of every 4 people I've met here seem to have allergies compared to 2 people back home (one
was allergic to horses, one a true allergy to eggs - anaphalctic shock etc) or generally they mean food intolerances.
Mind you, maybe there's something about Virginia. Like I said, back home I only knew two people with proper allergies, maybe a scattering with hay-fever (I get that myself) but here I know scads of
people allergic to cats, dogs, guinea-pigs, dust, pollen, mould etc etc. It's like an epidemic. Perhaps its the pollution here in North Virginia? The odd thing is, my husband has asthma and used to need
one of those inhalers. Since we moved to VA he's not had one asthma attack. Which is lucky. Cos we've lost his inhaler.
Anyway, I'm rambling again.
Shyrley