Thad Martin

ECSamHill@... wrote:
My friend really likes long, uninterrupted blocks of time to think and do.
Does this make her a bad fit for homeschooling in general and unschooling in
particular? Her kids are 1, 4.5 and 6.5.

i'm like this though i only have one son, who is 4 and we manage. it may take
a bit of time because the kids will need to make an adjustment but if she's
honest with them i believe respect for everyone's needs can be reciprocal. we
do have days when we drive each other nuts but much more often than not we just
work things out. i'm forwarding some excerpts (which i sent under a different
thread but i think it fits here as well) that you might want to pass on. if
there is enough interesting things around the kids, eventually, will happily
involve themselves and become self-directed. who knows maybe her kids are a
bit like her and will enjoy the time alone.

-susan
austin,tx



i thought i would pass on some excerpts from and article "an unschooler's
lament: what's so hard to
understand" by mary griffith (the author of two handbooks for homeschooling and
unschooling). the article
was published in the mag paths of learning.

'i discovered three elements common to unschooling families:

an environment conducive to exploration and experimentation. to put the matter
bluntly, we unschoolers
have lots of stuff around to play with. the nature of that stuff varies with
the interests and needs of each
family; from books overflowing their shelves, to pots and pans to stack and
bang, to backyard garden to
cultivate, to a screaming fast computer, our homes have lots of easily
accessible materials around for children
to investigate. if we want our kids to learn by following their own
interests, we need to offer them plenty to
catch those interests.

adults as models and facilitators. unschooling parents, like most other
parents, learn rapidly that "do as i say,
not as i do" does not work very well with children. unschooling kids need
people around them who provide
models of learning by the way they live and in activities they pursue. if we
parents are not obviously
curious about and interested in the world around us, if we ourselves never ask
questions and search for
answers, if we never just try things and see what happens, it's unlikely that
our kids will do so, either.

trust that children will learn. for most people, this is the big obstacle to
understanding unschooling and
allowing it to work. perhaps the conventional school education that created
our own model of learning
creates an impression that learning is supposed to be difficult or boring, or
that learning cannot and will not
occur unless someone is explicitly teaching, providing information in little
age-appropriate packets, giving
quizzes on wednesdays and tests on fridays. eventually, once we've bitten our
tongues and sat on our hands
and held our breaths long enough to let our kids learn to trust their own
abilities, we discover that we can
trust their abilities as well. in fact, we discover that it's almost
impossible to stop our kids from learning, that
kids, already intensely curious, are eager to indulge their curiosity.'

she goes on to say:

'of course, even better than applying manufacturing models of more recent
vintage than the industrial
revolution to education and learning would be to drop the dehumanizing
industrial models entirely and start
treating both children and adult learners as full, active participants in the
educational process. in other
words, instead of looking at improving instructional delivery systems or
accountability procedures, shouldn't
we talk seriously with our kids about their particular educational paths,
learning from them how they learn
best and what they find helpful or obstructive to their learning processes?
aren't our kids entitled to direct a
process that prepares them for their own future?'

she concludes by saying:

'however, let me be clear: "because it works" isn't a sound enough reason for
me to advocate unschooling in
particular and, more generally, treating our children as full partners in our
lives. our children are fellow
human beings - they are our colleagues in the making of the world, in the
creation of our joint future.
treating them as fully human, with respect and decency, recognizing them as
people just like us, is what we
owe them and what we owe ourselves. it's simply the right thing to do.'

though this is purely philosophical i hope it will be of some use to you. for
me having a strong grasp of the
underlining concept helps me work with all the many of variables we face each
day.

[email protected]

I have a friend who is teetering on the brink of removing her kids from
school. She has a pretty progressive ideas about education, but is a little
afraid of unschooling because she thinks she would have to do it 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. She's afraid her 3 kids wouldn't give
her a minute's peace and that if she was trying to paint, sew or cook when a
kid came up and wanted a book read to him or a frog dissected she would feel
guilty if she said "Not now." I think she wants to know how many hours and
minutes she needs to give her kids each day before she turns off the guilt
button and attends to her other priorities.

For me, sometimes I find my son's questions thrilling enough that I have the
strength to push back my bedtime and participate in what he's doing while
yawning, and other times I tell him that I'll be available to do what he
wants in the morning, but now I've collapsed. Interruptions when I'm awake
and working are not much of a problem for me. I'm not a linear person, and
it's pretty easy for me to handle a brief interruption and go back to what I
was doing. (And sometimes I download mail or hunt for something on the
internet with a kid in my lap while reading a picture book.) My friend
really likes long, uninterrupted blocks of time to think and do. Does this
make her a bad fit for homeschooling in general and unschooling in
particular? Her kids are 1, 4.5 and 6.5.

Thanks, Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 01/08/2000 3:54:43 PM !!!First Boot!!!, ECSamHill@...
writes:

<< I think she wants to know how many hours and
minutes she needs to give her kids each day before she turns off the guilt
button and attends to her other priorities.>>

12 -- the answer is 12. This is what I always tell the kids when they ask me
something that has no answer -- and once in a blue moon I am right.

Anyway, the answer is that there is no answer. Unschooling (even
non-unschooling) doesn't just stop because it gets to be 11:00. But is
doesn't have to start because it is 8:00 either.

You set up your days as you like. She doesn't need to become completely
unstructured just because that's how I am -- or more structured because
someone else is.

<< My friend
really likes long, uninterrupted blocks of time to think and do. Does this
make her a bad fit for homeschooling in general and unschooling in
particular? Her kids are 1, 4.5 and 6.5.

Thanks, Betsy
>>

I like long, uninterrupted blocks of time too. Don't get them very often --
but I do like them.

I take my time. Take it. Don't wait for everything to be done -- it never
is.
I prioritize -- kids, then me & hubby, then errands, then business stuff,
then, way down the list, housework. In the me part is where I get to sit
outside and read, type on the internet way too long, watch dumb TV to wind
down, take a long bath, etc. Sometimes I feel deprived that I don't get more
time, but it's enough. It really is.

Also, this is balanced against the time I would be spending driving the kids
back and forth to school, doing homework, attending PTA and teacher meetings,
etc.

I don't think you have to be a whirlwind of a hser to be a success.
Sometimes quiet reflection is a good thing. Maybe her kids will get a chance
to see it in action as they observe her.

It's a big commitment but well worth it, imo.

Nance