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UNSCHOOLING.COM ONLINE NEWS

Mid-January 2003


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In this Issue:


How to Raise a Respected Child
Life, the Universe, and Everything
A Mind At A Time
Parental Failure
Social Mythology
Book Lovers
Learning Relationships
Celebrating Freedom
Why Not Do Both?


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Welcome to 2003, and a new edition of the best unschooling newsletter
online! Due to the illness and death of my father, the Unschooling.com
Online News was not published in November or December. I hope you've
missed it just a little bit. And as always, I hope this collection of
thoughts and musings leaves you thinking and searching for more.

Deborah A Cunefare


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How to Raise a Respected Child

"I really believe that unschooling works best when parents trust a child's
personhood, his intelligence, his instincts, his potential to be mature and
calm. Take any of that away, and the child becomes smaller and
powerless to some degree.

Give them power and respect, and they become respected and powerful.

Is it just that simple? That a parent can GIVE a child power and respect?
Can a parent give a child freedom?"

Sandra Dodd writing in the January/February issue of Home Education
Magazine
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com


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Life, the Universe, and Everything

One way to get the student to come out from hiding is to do all we can to
legitimize his interests. In other words, to make him feel that whatever
he is interested in is OK, a perfectly good place from which to look at and
begin to explore the world, as good as any other, indeed better than any
other. We will not make him feel this unless we understand ourselves
that it is true. This will be hard for people who have for years been mis-
schooled into thinking that life, the world, human experience, are divided
up into disciplines or subjects or bodies of knowledge, some of them
serious, noble, important, others ignoble and trivial. It is not so. The
world and human experience are one whole. There are no dotted lines in it
separating History from Geography or Chemistry or Physics. In fact, out
there, there are no such things as History or Geography or Chemistry or
Physics. Out there is --- out there. But the world, the universe, human
experience, are vast. We can't take them in all at once. So we choose,
sensibly enough, to look at this part of reality, or that; to ask this kind
of question about it, or that. If we look at one part, in one way, and ask
one kind of question, we may be thinking like a historian; if we look at
another part, ask another question, we may be thinking like a physicist,
or a chemist, or a psychologist, or a philosopher. But these different
ways of looking at reality should not make us forget that it is all one
piece, and that from any one place in it we can get to all the other
places."

John Holt
from Freedom and Beyond
E. P. Dutton - 1972

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A Mind At A Time

It's taken for granted in adult society that we cannot all be generalists
skilled in every area of learning and mastery. Nevertheless, we apply
tremendous pressure on our children to be good at everything. Every day
they are expected to shine in math, reading, writing, speaking, spelling,
memorization, comprehension, problem solving, socialization, athletics,
and following verbal directions. Few if any children can master all of
these "trades." And none of us adults can. In one way or another, all
minds have their specialties and their frailties.

Mel Levine, M.D.
from A Mind At A Time
Simon and Schuster 2002



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Parental Failure


I'm trying to follow my children's lead. I've learned by failing. When I fail
to follow their lead things go wrong. Homeschooling doesn't work in my
family if my children don't feel trusted. When I fail to trust and I inch
back toward the other end of the continuum; the more traditional side,
what *I* was taught learning was and how *I* was taught to teach, then
I fail with my own children. That failure propels me towards the more
unstructured-trusting-joyful side of the learning continuum. Another
person might think failing should lead to me trying harder to press my
own will on my children, but we don't have that kind of relationship; I've
been learning how to follow their lead every since they were babies and it
seems more natural to continue to develop that trust as they get older.
I'm learning something I never learned in school: that failure is a valuable
teacher and not a shame or a disgrace.


From the HEM-Unschooling email list.

Join the conversation! Send a blank email to:

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Or visit the email list website at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HEM-Unschooling


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Social Mythology


The need for schooling is bolstered by two well-entrenched pieces of
cultural mythology. The first and most pernicious of these is that
children will not learn unless they're compelled to--in school. It is part of
the mythology of childhood itself that children hate learning and will avoid
it at all costs. Of course, anyone who has had a child knows what an
absurd lie this is. From infancy onward, children are the most fantastic
learners in the world. If they grow up in a family in which four languages
are spoken, they will be speaking four languages by the time they're
three or four years old--without a day of schooling, just by hanging
around the members of their family, because they desperately want to
be able to do the things they do. Anyone who has had a child knows that
they are tirelessly curious. As soon as they're able to ask questions,
they ask questions incessantly, often driving their parents to
distraction. Their curiosity extends to everything they can reach, which
is why every parent soon learns to put anything breakable, anything
dangerous, anything untouchable up high--and if possible behind lock and
key. We all know the truth of the joke about those childproof bottle caps:
those are the kind that only children can open.

Daniel Quinn
http://www.ishmael.org/education/writings/unschooling.shtml
Ishmael Community


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Book Lovers


"I am the product of long corridors, empty sunlit rooms, upstair indoor
silences, attics explored in solitude, distant noises of gurgling cisterns
and pipes, and the noise of wind under the tiles. Also, of endless books.
There were books in the study, books in the drawing-room, books in the
cloakroom, books (two deep) in the great bookcase on the landing, books
in a bedroom, books piled as high as my shoulder in the cistern attic,
books of all kinds reflecting every transient stage of my parents'
interests, books readable and unreadable, books suitable for a child and
books most emphatically not. Nothing was forbidden me. In the seemingly
endless rainy afternoons I took volume after volume from the shelves."
C.S. Lewis

Books to the ceiling
Books to the sky
My piles of books are a mile high!
How I love them!
How I need them!
I'll have a long beard
By the time I read them!
Arnold Lobel


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Learning Relationships


We begin our life as an embryo attached to the wall of our mother's
womb. It's our first relationship. Not much in the way of interaction but,
quite literally, a vital connection. We are dependent on an umbilical cord
for nutrients and oxygen, on a sack of fluid for warmth and safety. This
is our first interpersonal experience. Parents provide, and we survive.

Siblings, peers, teachers, and others may exert greater influence on our
tastes, attitudes, and behavior in the long run than our parents do.
People our own age, especially during adolescence, tend to have more to
say about the way we act, how we dress, how we groom. But what we
think relationships are, what we expect out of them, and what we know
about participating in them is largely based on how our parents treated
us when we were young. If it was with respect and affection, we figure
that's the way people will deal with us and how we will deal with them. If,
however, we are treated without regard, with cruelty, or with
indifference, then that's the interpersonal language we know.

Parents bestow upon us the cornerstone for all subsequent relationships
- our capacity and orientation for love, trust, and fellowship.

...The relationship we have with our parents is more than just where we
begin our relational development. It remains an important reference
point for the remainder of our relational lives. "How it was with my
parents at home when I was a kid" can be a warm and nostalgic memory,
a precious model to replicate and perpetuate. Or it can be a terrible one,
frightening, to be avoided at all costs. Or it can be something in between.
But it is always where we start. And it will always be the foundation on
which we build our interpersonal world.

Alexander Levy
from The Orphaned Adult

Perseus Books 1999


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Celebrating Freedom

Recently I stumbled across a wonderful unschooling family on the web:

"My name is Nanda, I am married to Hans and together we have four
boys: Rutger (10), Stijn (7), Jochem (5) and Koen (2). We are a Dutch
family but four years ago we left the Netherlands and moved to the USA
to be able to un-school our children. (If you want to know more about why
we made that decision read; 'An Unschooling Adventure' also on this
site.) Every two weeks from now on I will write about our un-schooling
life; what we do and don't do and why it works for us. I have to warn you
up front though, because you may want to start un-schooling too!"

Nanda's site is small but packed tight with her delightful musings on
unschooling. For instance, this excerpt from an article entitled "So what
do you do all day?"

"Un-schooling is a very natural thing for children to do but it didn't
always come that natural to me. I often had a tendency to teach my
children at first. Because I went to school myself, part of me still
thought that you could only learn if you sit behind a desk and listen to a
teacher. Then when we get the teachers approval, in the form of a good
grade, we have learned something, right? But if that's true, how can it be
that I don't remember anything of all the things I've learned this way?
And how can you explain that all the situations that have really taught
me and helped me grow as a person took place outside of school in real
life?

My father always says that there is a big difference between knowledge
and wisdom, and I think he's right about that. Knowledge is taught in
conventional schools but wisdom is something that you have to find
through real life experiences. As un-schoolers we live our life and we try
to learn as much as we can from every situation we encounter.
Everyday, our children learn about who they are, what they believe in,
what they can do and what makes them happy; now that's wisdom. The
knowledge just comes to them because they are curious about the world
they live in, because they love to read and because they encounter
anyone and everything with an open mind and an open heart.

So what do we do all day? I think Rutger explained it very well to one of
his aunts when she once asked him this question; " We do exactly as we
please." he said and I can only agree."

You'll find Nanda and her family at:
http://www.alternative-learning.org/ale/us-series.html


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Why Not Do Both?

Like other people, educators often hold theories about how the world
works, or how one ought to act, that are never named, never checked
for accuracy, never even consciously recognized. One of the most
popular of these theories is a very appealing blend of pragmatism and
relativism that might be called "the more, the merrier." People
subscribing to this view tend to dismiss arguments that a given
educational practice is bad news and ought to be replaced by another.
"Why not do both?" they ask. "No reason to throw anything out of your
toolbox. Use everything that works."

But what if something that works to accomplish one goal ends up
impeding another? And what if two very different strategies are
inversely related, such that they work at cross purposes? As it happens,
converging evidence from different educational arenas tends to support
exactly these concerns. Particularly when practices that might be called,
for lack of better labels, progressive and traditional are used at the
same time, the latter often has the effect of undermining the former.

Example 1 comes from the world of math instruction. A few years back,
a researcher named Michelle Perry published a study in the journal
Cognitive Development that looked at different ways of teaching children
the concept of equivalence, as expressed in problems such as
"4 + 6 + 9 =___ + 9." Fourth and 5th graders, none of whom knew how
to solve such problems, were divided into two groups. Some were taught
the underlying principle ("The goal of a problem like this is to find ..."),
while others were given step-by-step instructions ("Add up all the
numbers on the left side, and then subtract the number on the right
side").

Both approaches were effective at helping students solve problems just
like the initial one. Consistent with other research, however, the principle-
based approach was much better at helping them transfer their
knowledge to a slightly different kind of problem—for example,
multiplying and dividing numbers to reach equivalence. Direct instruction
of a technique for getting the right answer produced shallow learning.

But why not do both? What if students were taught the procedure and
the principle? Here's where it gets interesting. Regardless of the order in
which these two kinds of instruction were presented, students who were
taught both ways didn't do any better on the transfer problems than did
those who were taught only the procedure—which means they did far
worse than students who were taught only the principle. Teaching for
understanding didn't offset the destructive effects of telling them how
to get the answer. Any step-by-step instruction in how to solve such
problems put learners at a disadvantage; the absence of such
instruction was required for them to understand.

Find the rest of this fascinating article at:
Education Week
http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/edweek/rotten.htm
Education's Rotten Apples By Alfie Kohn


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THE RESOURCEFUL HOMESCHOOLER

resourcefulhomeschooler.com


Looking for something to do? Why not: ** Stage a Costume Ball from

the Middle Ages ** Fly Through Human Anatomy ** Take a Virtual Walk

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The Resourceful Homeschooler carries great books, science materials

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________________________

HOME EDUCATION MAGAZINE

http://www.home-ed-magazine.com


The Jan/Feb 2003 issue of Home Education Magazine has articles on

surviving tough times, non-school recess, homeschool empowerment,

math renovation and more. From the columnists: the Kaseman's keep

your privacy; Becky Rupp tells folktales; David Albert learns to love

math; Sandra Dodd respects children; Elizabeth McCullough reviews

"Fundamentals of Homeschooling"; and Carol Narigon (that's me) gets

dad off your back. Other columnists include Ann Zeise, Peter Kowalke,

Linda Dobson, and Laura Weldon. HEM also offers a special essay by

publisher Helen Hegener, classified ads, letters and discussion, pen

pals and networking, and more.

(http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/HEM/201/issuecontent.html)


Check out the HEM web site for a free sample issue and the best
subscription deals: http://www.home-ed-magazine.com


Or write Home Education Magazine, PO Box 1083, Tonasket, WA 98855;

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The Last Word

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has it's own
reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates
the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.
It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery
everyday. Never lose a holy curiosity.

Albert Einstein


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