kids taking things from each other
Amie
I am usually a lurker, but I wanted to throw a question out to hopefully get some new ideas on an ongoing "problem".
I have 5 yr old twin boys, and for the most part they get along quite well. However, one of them (Sam) seems to always want what Eric has, or to take over the computer before Eric is finished. I try to help them with taking turns etc, if it escalates to where someone is going to be injured! I try to let them figure things out as much as possible.Also, I try to empathize with Eric, in hopes that it will make him feel more powerful, rather than a "victim".
So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric is really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam being first, taking things from him,etc.
Just looking for some new ideas!
Thanks,
Amie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have 5 yr old twin boys, and for the most part they get along quite well. However, one of them (Sam) seems to always want what Eric has, or to take over the computer before Eric is finished. I try to help them with taking turns etc, if it escalates to where someone is going to be injured! I try to let them figure things out as much as possible.Also, I try to empathize with Eric, in hopes that it will make him feel more powerful, rather than a "victim".
So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric is really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam being first, taking things from him,etc.
Just looking for some new ideas!
Thanks,
Amie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/03 3:57:23 AM Eastern Standard Time,
amiersa2@... writes:
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
amiersa2@... writes:
> (Sam) seems to always want what Eric hasSamneric.. like Lord of the Flies.. :-) Great book
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
HI!
My 3dd always wants to do whatever my 5dd is doing and wants to take what
she has. I got tired of the constant struggle so we came up with a game.
If 5dd is playing with a toy that 3dd wants, 3dd has to trade her
something for it. So I help her look around and we decide what looks the
most enticing. They usually just start laughing, because the pile of
unaccepted trades mount up next to 5dd until she finally accepts
something, and joyfully gives 3dd the toy. Usually by this time, 3dd has
no interest in that toy, and is on to greener pastures.
Hope this helps.
wende
On Wed, 15 Jan 2003 03:56:31 -0500 "Amie" <amiersa2@...> writes:
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
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My 3dd always wants to do whatever my 5dd is doing and wants to take what
she has. I got tired of the constant struggle so we came up with a game.
If 5dd is playing with a toy that 3dd wants, 3dd has to trade her
something for it. So I help her look around and we decide what looks the
most enticing. They usually just start laughing, because the pile of
unaccepted trades mount up next to 5dd until she finally accepts
something, and joyfully gives 3dd the toy. Usually by this time, 3dd has
no interest in that toy, and is on to greener pastures.
Hope this helps.
wende
On Wed, 15 Jan 2003 03:56:31 -0500 "Amie" <amiersa2@...> writes:
> I am usually a lurker, but I wanted to throw a question out to________________________________________________________________
> hopefully get some new ideas on an ongoing "problem".
> I have 5 yr old twin boys, and for the most part they get along
> quite well. However, one of them (Sam) seems to always want what
> Eric has, or to take over the computer before Eric is finished. I
> try to help them with taking turns etc, if it escalates to where
> someone is going to be injured! I try to let them figure things out
> as much as possible.Also, I try to empathize with Eric, in hopes
> that it will make him feel more powerful, rather than a "victim".
>
> So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric
> is really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam
> being first, taking things from him,etc.
> Just looking for some new ideas!
>
> Thanks,
>
> Amie
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line!
> ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
> email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or
> the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or
> address an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/03 1:57:46 AM, amiersa2@... writes:
<< So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric is
really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam being first,
taking things from him,etc.
Just looking for some new ideas! >>
We did scissors/paper/stone when kids couldn't decide who got to sit with
dad, or who got to go first in a tie situation.
And the winner had as long a turn as he wanted, followed by the other
person's long-as-he-wants turn. If something interrupted a turn (dinner
with the family, needing to go to sleep) it was that person's turn, still,
afterward.
I say "was," but they still do that. Only they got old enough that the
scissors/paper thing wasn't necessary. If they're stuck trying to decide, I
try to remind one of them of something else they had also wanted to do, which
might not happen if they go first. Like I might say, "Holly, didn't you want
to practice fiddle before it got too late?" or "Marty, you still need to call
Logan."
Sandra
<< So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric is
really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam being first,
taking things from him,etc.
Just looking for some new ideas! >>
We did scissors/paper/stone when kids couldn't decide who got to sit with
dad, or who got to go first in a tie situation.
And the winner had as long a turn as he wanted, followed by the other
person's long-as-he-wants turn. If something interrupted a turn (dinner
with the family, needing to go to sleep) it was that person's turn, still,
afterward.
I say "was," but they still do that. Only they got old enough that the
scissors/paper thing wasn't necessary. If they're stuck trying to decide, I
try to remind one of them of something else they had also wanted to do, which
might not happen if they go first. Like I might say, "Holly, didn't you want
to practice fiddle before it got too late?" or "Marty, you still need to call
Logan."
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/03 11:47:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> "Holly, didn't you wantHUH??? "Practice"????
> to practice fiddle before it got too late?"
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/03 2:52:29 PM, grlynbl@... writes:
<< > "Holly, didn't you want
Terrible, huh?
Me and my sixteen years of school.
Ruined for life!
She has a practice chart and she calls it practicing.
I don't argue with her about it, but I talk to her about when she's playing.
Just last night she had "Rubber Dolly" DOWN and was doing it with no
hesitation and good tone, and I heard her from downstairs, and told her later
it sounded just as good as if anyone were to play it.
Usually her teacher sings the words to the songs, or they make words up, but
although she told them Rubber Dolly has words, she hasn't taught them to them.
I sang it for her and realized it's pretty thoroughly politically incorrect
and touches on issues maybe best left in the past. Or not. <g> Can't decide
on that one, but I can understand why the teacher hasn't taught the words to
her predominantly-Christian-homeschooled clientel:
My mama told me if I was goody
That she would buy me a rubber dolly
My sister told her I kissed a soldier
Now she won't buy me a rubber dolly.
Anyone know the history of that? I've never heard any but that one verse.
My mom used to sing it just to herself as she was working, or would play the
guitar and sing it, but I don't remember any more of it.
(Google for me...)
Sandra
<< > "Holly, didn't you want
> to practice fiddle before it got too late?"<<HUH??? "Practice"???? >>
Terrible, huh?
Me and my sixteen years of school.
Ruined for life!
She has a practice chart and she calls it practicing.
I don't argue with her about it, but I talk to her about when she's playing.
Just last night she had "Rubber Dolly" DOWN and was doing it with no
hesitation and good tone, and I heard her from downstairs, and told her later
it sounded just as good as if anyone were to play it.
Usually her teacher sings the words to the songs, or they make words up, but
although she told them Rubber Dolly has words, she hasn't taught them to them.
I sang it for her and realized it's pretty thoroughly politically incorrect
and touches on issues maybe best left in the past. Or not. <g> Can't decide
on that one, but I can understand why the teacher hasn't taught the words to
her predominantly-Christian-homeschooled clientel:
My mama told me if I was goody
That she would buy me a rubber dolly
My sister told her I kissed a soldier
Now she won't buy me a rubber dolly.
Anyone know the history of that? I've never heard any but that one verse.
My mom used to sing it just to herself as she was working, or would play the
guitar and sing it, but I don't remember any more of it.
(Google for me...)
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/15/03 4:52:30 PM Eastern Standard Time, grlynbl@...
writes:
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> HUH??? "Practice"????She said she says it but that doesn't mean she likes it.
>
> Teresa
>
>
>
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ed hodgins
----- Original Message -----
From: "Amie" <amiersa2@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 3:56 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] kids taking things from each other
> I am usually a lurker, but I wanted to throw a question out to hopefully
get some new ideas on an ongoing "problem".
> I have 5 yr old twin boys, and for the most part they get along quite
well. However, one of them (Sam) seems to always want what Eric has, or to
take over the computer before Eric is finished. I try to help them with
taking turns etc, if it escalates to where someone is going to be injured! I
try to let them figure things out as much as possible.Also, I try to
empathize with Eric, in hopes that it will make him feel more powerful,
rather than a "victim".
>
> So, does anyone have any ideas on how to help them with this? Eric is
really getting frustrated, and has said that he is tired of Sam being first,
taking things from him,etc.
> Just looking for some new ideas!
>
> Thanks,
>
> Amie
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
> Hi Iam dawna! I have been just reading a few emails. I have been
considering homeschooling or unschooling. My son is 18 mth and daughter is 2
almost 3. She seems a bit a head of her age though. She wants some of his
toys. So I give a more grown up toy or distract her by getting her to help
me. I dont know maybe some kind of distraction or fun activity like a
computer game or movie.
Stephanie Elms
I have a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old so this often arises. A while back Joyce (I think)
posted something about being the person trying to help your kids get what they want rather
then the person standing in their way. Of course when you have two kids who both want the
same thing, how do you choose? Well, believe it or not, I have found recently that *not
choosing* can often help!
What I have found is, instead of me being the judge and determining what is fair (and
basically taking one kids side over the other), what seems to work better is to try to help
them talk it through. For example, if Jason (6) wants to play a computer game but Kyle
is already playing, I used to jump in and tell Jason that he had to wait his turn (sticking
up for Kyle who is younger etc). Now what I do is this...if Jason tries to push Kyle off
and take the computer, I stop Jason and ask him to *ask* Kyle not just take it. Jason asks
Kyle...to my surprise, Kyle often says OK and gets off LOL! If Kyle does not want to get
off, I will talk with Kyle a bit, explaining that Jason really wants to play etc,
(or he will be leaving soon and just wants to play until he goes or whatever) but
I leave it up to Kyle. If Kyle still says no, I explain Kyle's point of view (he just
got on or is right in the middle of a game), sympathize with Jason and try to get
him involved in something else.
The interesting thing is that since I have done this, they have gotten better at sharing
and working things out on their own. I think that it helps because I am leaving the
decisions up to them, not making the decisions for them. I do not have to take one
side over the other...rather I model how to present their arguments to the other.
The rule here for the computer is that the person playing can play as long as they
like. If it seems like Kyle (or Jason) has been playing for a long time and the
other still wants to play, I will help them make their argument, but still leave it
up the person playing. Jason has been figuring out that Kyle is more likely to give
him a turn if Jason lets Kyle have a turn. I have heard them work things out more on
their own (often using the same words that I have used). And sometimes they come up
with solutions that I never would have thought of.
It does not work perfectly, but for the most part it has helped improve how they
handle things. I am not sure how well I explained what we do, I hope that it made
sense. In a nutshell, I do not take one kids side over the other and I help them see
the others point of view by talking it out with them and letting them make the decision.
Stephanie E.
posted something about being the person trying to help your kids get what they want rather
then the person standing in their way. Of course when you have two kids who both want the
same thing, how do you choose? Well, believe it or not, I have found recently that *not
choosing* can often help!
What I have found is, instead of me being the judge and determining what is fair (and
basically taking one kids side over the other), what seems to work better is to try to help
them talk it through. For example, if Jason (6) wants to play a computer game but Kyle
is already playing, I used to jump in and tell Jason that he had to wait his turn (sticking
up for Kyle who is younger etc). Now what I do is this...if Jason tries to push Kyle off
and take the computer, I stop Jason and ask him to *ask* Kyle not just take it. Jason asks
Kyle...to my surprise, Kyle often says OK and gets off LOL! If Kyle does not want to get
off, I will talk with Kyle a bit, explaining that Jason really wants to play etc,
(or he will be leaving soon and just wants to play until he goes or whatever) but
I leave it up to Kyle. If Kyle still says no, I explain Kyle's point of view (he just
got on or is right in the middle of a game), sympathize with Jason and try to get
him involved in something else.
The interesting thing is that since I have done this, they have gotten better at sharing
and working things out on their own. I think that it helps because I am leaving the
decisions up to them, not making the decisions for them. I do not have to take one
side over the other...rather I model how to present their arguments to the other.
The rule here for the computer is that the person playing can play as long as they
like. If it seems like Kyle (or Jason) has been playing for a long time and the
other still wants to play, I will help them make their argument, but still leave it
up the person playing. Jason has been figuring out that Kyle is more likely to give
him a turn if Jason lets Kyle have a turn. I have heard them work things out more on
their own (often using the same words that I have used). And sometimes they come up
with solutions that I never would have thought of.
It does not work perfectly, but for the most part it has helped improve how they
handle things. I am not sure how well I explained what we do, I hope that it made
sense. In a nutshell, I do not take one kids side over the other and I help them see
the others point of view by talking it out with them and letting them make the decision.
Stephanie E.
kayb85 <[email protected]>
Lol!! My mom used to have a record of that I think. My parents had
a lot of WEIRD records from when they were younger. Like the Battle
of New Orleans and Mr. Custer. Anyway, I remember these lyrics:
3-6-9
the goose drank wine,
the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke
The monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven on a little row boat.
I googled it, and I found it here:
http://www.keeslau.com/TomWaitsSupplement/Lyrics/LyricsCovers/Rubberdo
lly.htm
It said it was an American jump rope rhyme.
Sheila
a lot of WEIRD records from when they were younger. Like the Battle
of New Orleans and Mr. Custer. Anyway, I remember these lyrics:
3-6-9
the goose drank wine,
the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke
The monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven on a little row boat.
I googled it, and I found it here:
http://www.keeslau.com/TomWaitsSupplement/Lyrics/LyricsCovers/Rubberdo
lly.htm
It said it was an American jump rope rhyme.
Sheila
> Just last night she had "Rubber Dolly" DOWN and was doing it withno
> hesitation and good tone, and I heard her from downstairs, and toldher later
> it sounded just as good as if anyone were to play it.words up, but
>
> Usually her teacher sings the words to the songs, or they make
> although she told them Rubber Dolly has words, she hasn't taughtthem to them.
>incorrect
> I sang it for her and realized it's pretty thoroughly politically
> and touches on issues maybe best left in the past. Or not. <g>Can't decide
> on that one, but I can understand why the teacher hasn't taught thewords to
> her predominantly-Christian-homeschooled clientel:verse.
>
> My mama told me if I was goody
> That she would buy me a rubber dolly
> My sister told her I kissed a soldier
> Now she won't buy me a rubber dolly.
>
> Anyone know the history of that? I've never heard any but that one
> My mom used to sing it just to herself as she was working, or wouldplay the
> guitar and sing it, but I don't remember any more of it.
>
> (Google for me...)
>
> Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/17/2003 2:53:14 AM Eastern Standard Time, sheran@...
writes:
down the mighty Mississip....." Now it's stuck in my head.
On a side note, I recently learned a lot about our local history here, as I
was making a fact sheet about our area for a flat traveler project we do.
I've lived in Toledo, OH for most of my life and attended school here through
college. I'd never heard of the Toledo War, or that Ohio and Michigan were
disputing which state Toledo belonged to. I found all about it online and
couldn't believe it! (The dispute was solved when Congress gave MI the Upper
Peninsula in exchange for letting Ohio have Toledo....the jury is still out
on who got the better deal, but I'm thinking that I'd take the UP too LOL)
Amy Kagey
A house without books is like
a room without windows. (Horace Mann)
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=462366">Shop: Usborne Books!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Like the BattleI love this song! "In 1814 we took a little trip, along with Colonel Jackson
> of New Orleans
down the mighty Mississip....." Now it's stuck in my head.
On a side note, I recently learned a lot about our local history here, as I
was making a fact sheet about our area for a flat traveler project we do.
I've lived in Toledo, OH for most of my life and attended school here through
college. I'd never heard of the Toledo War, or that Ohio and Michigan were
disputing which state Toledo belonged to. I found all about it online and
couldn't believe it! (The dispute was solved when Congress gave MI the Upper
Peninsula in exchange for letting Ohio have Toledo....the jury is still out
on who got the better deal, but I'm thinking that I'd take the UP too LOL)
Amy Kagey
A house without books is like
a room without windows. (Horace Mann)
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=462366">Shop: Usborne Books!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Suzanne Ackerson
Amy,
I'm responding to the quote at the bottom of your e mail, "a house without books is like a room without windows." I counted 17 bookcases in my house; mostly childrens books which started their way into our home 21 years ago after our first child's birth. I imagine this list has a lot of book lovers.
Your hometown of Toledo is where my oldest had his High School graduation from Clonlara. It was funny, I remember telling my puzzled neighbor that my son's "school" was in Ann Arbor and he graduated in Toledo. We live in Illinois.
Enjoy your kids and your books!
Suzanne
I'm responding to the quote at the bottom of your e mail, "a house without books is like a room without windows." I counted 17 bookcases in my house; mostly childrens books which started their way into our home 21 years ago after our first child's birth. I imagine this list has a lot of book lovers.
Your hometown of Toledo is where my oldest had his High School graduation from Clonlara. It was funny, I remember telling my puzzled neighbor that my son's "school" was in Ann Arbor and he graduated in Toledo. We live in Illinois.
Enjoy your kids and your books!
Suzanne
----- Original Message -----
From: amycats2@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, January 17, 2003 6:32 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: kids taking things from each other
In a message dated 1/17/2003 2:53:14 AM Eastern Standard Time, sheran@...
writes:
> Like the Battle
> of New Orleans
I love this song! "In 1814 we took a little trip, along with Colonel Jackson
down the mighty Mississip....." Now it's stuck in my head.
On a side note, I recently learned a lot about our local history here, as I
was making a fact sheet about our area for a flat traveler project we do.
I've lived in Toledo, OH for most of my life and attended school here through
college. I'd never heard of the Toledo War, or that Ohio and Michigan were
disputing which state Toledo belonged to. I found all about it online and
couldn't believe it! (The dispute was solved when Congress gave MI the Upper
Peninsula in exchange for letting Ohio have Toledo....the jury is still out
on who got the better deal, but I'm thinking that I'd take the UP too LOL)
Amy Kagey
A house without books is like
a room without windows. (Horace Mann)
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=462366">Shop: Usborne Books!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Peggy
Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2003 07:32:16 EST
From: amycats2@...
my mind. ;) Where is your flat traveler going?
Peggy
Reminds me of Neil Young's Powderfinger:
POWDERFINGER
------------
Look out, Mama, there's a white boat comin' up the river
With a big red beacon, and a flag, and a man on the rail
I think you'd better call John,
'Cause it don't look like they're here to deliver the mail
And it's less than a mile away
I hope they didn't come to stay
It's got numbers on the side and a gun
And it's makin' big waves.
Daddy's gone, my brother's out hunting in the mountains
Big John's been drinking since the river took Emmy-Lou
So the Powers That Be left me here to do the thinkin'
And I just turned twenty-two
I was wonderin' what to do
And the closer they got,
The more those feelings grew.
Daddy's rifle in my hand felt reassurin'
He told me, Red means run, son, numbers add up to nothin'
But when the first shot hit the docks I saw it comin'
Raised my rifle to my eye
Never stopped to wonder why.
Then I saw black,
And my face splashed in the sky.
Shelter me from the powder and the finger
Cover me with the thought that pulled the trigger
Think of me as one you'd never figured
Would fade away so young
With so much left undone
Remember me to my love,
I know I'll miss her.
From: amycats2@...
> In a message dated 1/17/2003 2:53:14 AM Eastern Standard Time,Wow Amy, that is really fascinating. Now, I can't get that song off
> sheran@...
> writes:
>
>
> > Like the Battle
> > of New Orleans
>
> I love this song! "In 1814 we took a little trip, along with Colonel
> Jackson
> down the mighty Mississip....." Now it's stuck in my head.
>
> On a side note, I recently learned a lot about our local history here, as I
> was making a fact sheet about our area for a flat traveler project we do.
> I've lived in Toledo, OH for most of my life and attended school here
> through
> college. I'd never heard of the Toledo War, or that Ohio and Michigan were
> disputing which state Toledo belonged to. I found all about it online and
> couldn't believe it! (The dispute was solved when Congress gave MI the
> Upper
> Peninsula in exchange for letting Ohio have Toledo....the jury is still out
> on who got the better deal, but I'm thinking that I'd take the UP too LOL)
> Amy Kagey
my mind. ;) Where is your flat traveler going?
Peggy
Reminds me of Neil Young's Powderfinger:
POWDERFINGER
------------
Look out, Mama, there's a white boat comin' up the river
With a big red beacon, and a flag, and a man on the rail
I think you'd better call John,
'Cause it don't look like they're here to deliver the mail
And it's less than a mile away
I hope they didn't come to stay
It's got numbers on the side and a gun
And it's makin' big waves.
Daddy's gone, my brother's out hunting in the mountains
Big John's been drinking since the river took Emmy-Lou
So the Powers That Be left me here to do the thinkin'
And I just turned twenty-two
I was wonderin' what to do
And the closer they got,
The more those feelings grew.
Daddy's rifle in my hand felt reassurin'
He told me, Red means run, son, numbers add up to nothin'
But when the first shot hit the docks I saw it comin'
Raised my rifle to my eye
Never stopped to wonder why.
Then I saw black,
And my face splashed in the sky.
Shelter me from the powder and the finger
Cover me with the thought that pulled the trigger
Think of me as one you'd never figured
Would fade away so young
With so much left undone
Remember me to my love,
I know I'll miss her.