chores and factors in all directions
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/11/03 7:38:38 PM, lurningathome@... writes:
<< People run their houses differently....... I will not defend that to
anyone. >>
Most people send their kids to school. you don't need to defend that either.
But it is not at all uncommon for unschoolers to discover that gradually
they trust their children more and more and as they treat them more like
equal humans, the relationship changes.
It doesn't happen with every family, but it has happened with lots.
<<Chores are a way and fact of life for many people. If you personally chose
not to have you children do their chores or responsibilty..then that is your
choice.>>
Right. It's people's choices and they're trying to explain how they came to
believe as they believe. It has directly to do with unschooling and the
changes it brought into their lives.
You don't need to explain to us why you believe as you do about chores. Most
of us grew up in families where there were chores. Many families here still
have chores. Many used to and don't now. You *might* want to read why
people changed, when they did, since that way will be new to you but the
traditional way isn't new to us.
It's not because people never heard of chores that they've chosen not to make
their children do some.
<<He would not appreciate working hard on the road for 6 days and see no
dishes
washed, counters nasty greasy and the stove filthy, clothes thrown about the
house , or the house looking like a tornado with through it. >>
Even when I was laid up for over a month, my house never looked like a
tornado went through it. Clothes are not thrown about the house here, but it
is nobody's singular job to do the laundry; yet laundry gets done. Each
child has a pile, and there's a pile by the washer. My stove is really
pretty clean, because that's my favorite bit of cleaning. I'd do anyone's
oven if they would mop my kitchen floor. But the floor's been mopped this
week too.
How could that happen without a mother forcing chores?
It can.
<<What will happen to your chldren if they don't?
<<That is private...... but it is dealt with, but we rarely have too. They
know
that they have to pull their weight around here.>>
I would ask "they know they have to pull their weight or what?" but you've
said you don't want to discuss it.
There are other ways to be together in a family.
Sandra
<< People run their houses differently....... I will not defend that to
anyone. >>
Most people send their kids to school. you don't need to defend that either.
But it is not at all uncommon for unschoolers to discover that gradually
they trust their children more and more and as they treat them more like
equal humans, the relationship changes.
It doesn't happen with every family, but it has happened with lots.
<<Chores are a way and fact of life for many people. If you personally chose
not to have you children do their chores or responsibilty..then that is your
choice.>>
Right. It's people's choices and they're trying to explain how they came to
believe as they believe. It has directly to do with unschooling and the
changes it brought into their lives.
You don't need to explain to us why you believe as you do about chores. Most
of us grew up in families where there were chores. Many families here still
have chores. Many used to and don't now. You *might* want to read why
people changed, when they did, since that way will be new to you but the
traditional way isn't new to us.
It's not because people never heard of chores that they've chosen not to make
their children do some.
<<He would not appreciate working hard on the road for 6 days and see no
dishes
washed, counters nasty greasy and the stove filthy, clothes thrown about the
house , or the house looking like a tornado with through it. >>
Even when I was laid up for over a month, my house never looked like a
tornado went through it. Clothes are not thrown about the house here, but it
is nobody's singular job to do the laundry; yet laundry gets done. Each
child has a pile, and there's a pile by the washer. My stove is really
pretty clean, because that's my favorite bit of cleaning. I'd do anyone's
oven if they would mop my kitchen floor. But the floor's been mopped this
week too.
How could that happen without a mother forcing chores?
It can.
<<What will happen to your chldren if they don't?
<<That is private...... but it is dealt with, but we rarely have too. They
know
that they have to pull their weight around here.>>
I would ask "they know they have to pull their weight or what?" but you've
said you don't want to discuss it.
There are other ways to be together in a family.
Sandra
Mary Bianco
The whole idea of people having to do chores doesn't seem right to me. We
really don't have to. We chose to or not. Kids don't have to do chores
unless their parents make them. They would chose not to unless they learn at
an age comfortable for them why people do chose to do them that have a
choice. Then I belive they would make the choice to do what feels right for
them.
I never had to do chores and I am now a very neat and organized person. When
I was first away from home at school, I saw tons of girls that were complete
slobs. Most of them complained that they had so many chores at home, they
wre taking advantage of not having to do any now. Now I doubt very much that
most of those girls had "tons" of chores, but for them it probably seemed
that way as they had no choice. Makes you wonder what happens to those
people when no one is around to see.
And for some parents who say they don't care after their children move away
what they do with their own homes, I would think they should care. I care
about what my kids choices are when they leave this house. I may not have
any say so in it, but I still care and want them to be responsible.
Kind of goes along with not being exposed to certain things as children and
then going wild later on. I was never exposed to swearing or nudity at all.
I couldn't wait to say fuck when I got older and wasn't afraid of getting
caught. Just to see what would happen. Went crazy with naked bodies and
flashed quite a few people myself let alone what my social life was like.
You know the whole theory about the good small town catholic schooled girl
that goes nuts in the big city? I know a lot of it has to do with other
factors, but I do believe it for the most part.
Mary B
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really don't have to. We chose to or not. Kids don't have to do chores
unless their parents make them. They would chose not to unless they learn at
an age comfortable for them why people do chose to do them that have a
choice. Then I belive they would make the choice to do what feels right for
them.
I never had to do chores and I am now a very neat and organized person. When
I was first away from home at school, I saw tons of girls that were complete
slobs. Most of them complained that they had so many chores at home, they
wre taking advantage of not having to do any now. Now I doubt very much that
most of those girls had "tons" of chores, but for them it probably seemed
that way as they had no choice. Makes you wonder what happens to those
people when no one is around to see.
And for some parents who say they don't care after their children move away
what they do with their own homes, I would think they should care. I care
about what my kids choices are when they leave this house. I may not have
any say so in it, but I still care and want them to be responsible.
Kind of goes along with not being exposed to certain things as children and
then going wild later on. I was never exposed to swearing or nudity at all.
I couldn't wait to say fuck when I got older and wasn't afraid of getting
caught. Just to see what would happen. Went crazy with naked bodies and
flashed quite a few people myself let alone what my social life was like.
You know the whole theory about the good small town catholic schooled girl
that goes nuts in the big city? I know a lot of it has to do with other
factors, but I do believe it for the most part.
Mary B
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Add photos to your e-mail with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/11/03 7:30:44 PM Pacific Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
make their own decisions. What I've noticed already, they're only 3 and 4
years old, is that when I tell them to do something, they don't want to do
it. If they think about helping me and ask if they can help, it's much
nicer. There's no fighting. Sometimes I'll ask them to help me or ask them
to pick up their toys. If they don't want to, I don't force them. Usually
when they see me cleaning up, they'll start helping me. I talk to them about
how important it is to pick up their messes on the livingroom floor because
someone can get hurt tripping and falling, or someone can step on their toys
and break them.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Most people send their kids to school. you don't need to defend thatI like this statement. I want my children to be trusted more and more to
> either.
> But it is not at all uncommon for unschoolers to discover that gradually
> they trust their children more and more and as they treat them more like
> equal humans, the relationship changes.
>
>
make their own decisions. What I've noticed already, they're only 3 and 4
years old, is that when I tell them to do something, they don't want to do
it. If they think about helping me and ask if they can help, it's much
nicer. There's no fighting. Sometimes I'll ask them to help me or ask them
to pick up their toys. If they don't want to, I don't force them. Usually
when they see me cleaning up, they'll start helping me. I talk to them about
how important it is to pick up their messes on the livingroom floor because
someone can get hurt tripping and falling, or someone can step on their toys
and break them.
Patti
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/13/03 12:27:40 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< What I've noticed already, they're only 3 and 4
years old, is that when I tell them to do something, they don't want to do
it. >>
Sounds familiar!
Just today, Sierra decided to take a shower AFTER I had fixed her hair (she
asked me to). So I asked her to please keep her hair dry so I wouldn't have
to fix it again.
I was in the bathroom putting makeup on while her and Jalen were in the
shower and she says "you can't control my hair mom". I laughed and agreed but
said I only wanted her to keep it dry so I wouldn't have to fix it again.
So she says she doesn't want me to fix it and she's going to wash it.
What do you say to that? Hmmphf.
Thinks she's got her own mind or something, sheesh! :)
So then I asked her if I could control HER, and she says yes. "I CAN? You'll
let me?" I say, she laughs and says "nah".
These durn unschoolers...
Ren
Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
[email protected] writes:
<< What I've noticed already, they're only 3 and 4
years old, is that when I tell them to do something, they don't want to do
it. >>
Sounds familiar!
Just today, Sierra decided to take a shower AFTER I had fixed her hair (she
asked me to). So I asked her to please keep her hair dry so I wouldn't have
to fix it again.
I was in the bathroom putting makeup on while her and Jalen were in the
shower and she says "you can't control my hair mom". I laughed and agreed but
said I only wanted her to keep it dry so I wouldn't have to fix it again.
So she says she doesn't want me to fix it and she's going to wash it.
What do you say to that? Hmmphf.
Thinks she's got her own mind or something, sheesh! :)
So then I asked her if I could control HER, and she says yes. "I CAN? You'll
let me?" I say, she laughs and says "nah".
These durn unschoolers...
Ren
Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com