[email protected]

In a message dated 1/9/03 4:05:11 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Also, there is a fairly popular philosophy that kids do better when
> pushed to perform (think of the strict teacher or the intense
> football coach, or the passionate and demanding theater
> director). >>

I think the thing to remember is number one, many people that are pushed have
horrible relationships with their parents. If an Olympic Gold medalist was my
priority, not a peaceful, happy relationship, then maybe that would be a good
approach.
Secondly, when the pushing is actually useful and helpful, it HAS to be
because the person being pushed wants it.
Training for triathlon means I need some pushing. But I love triathlon, I
enjoy the competition and I ask dh to "push" me (in the form of working out
with me, or timing my runs or encouraging me to work out more). We push each
other.
When I'm timing a run for him I ride along on my bike and shout "good job,
keep it going" when his time is right on. If he needs to speed up I tell him.
He does the same for me and our times improve because of this "pushing".
But if I pushed him when he said "enough"...that would be a bad thing.
Pushing can work. But it still has to be the desire of the one that is
receiving the pushing, and it has to be up to them when the pushing should
stop.

Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com