Shyrley

I've been thinking about 'classes' recently, mainly cos a lot of people here sign their kids up for 4 or 5 classes a week. Things like Creative writing and horse riding and guitar and art etc etc.

It's brought on that little frisson of 'missing out' guilt for some reason.
We can't afford classes in anything plus my kids don't seem that bothered but there's that little part of me that wonders if they are 'missing out' or 'losing opportunities'.
I feel inadequate.

I'm also aware that in some ways these classes are substitutes for the freedom that I had as a child. I could go out all day from 8 onwards with a bunch of sandwhiches and lie in a feild, climb trees,
swim in the lake. My mother wouldn't see us till supper time. We would walk up the road to our friends house and go out skate boarding and bike riding.
I feel like my kids are missing out doubly. I can't afford classes and where I live there are no buses for them to catch, no fields and trees for them to go wild in. There's too many cars for them to go
biking in the street so they don't have the freedom I had as a child :-(

So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do lots of classes and those who's kids don't.

Shyrley

My kids are outside making a snow-man. They seem happy.

Betsy

**There's too many cars
for them to go
biking in the street so they don't have the freedom I had as a child :-(**


I would suggest taking your kids someplace where they can go biking,
instead of a class. (Unless they really want a class. My son doesn't.)

Betsy

Kelli Traaseth

Hey Shyrley,

I also go through these periods of questioning whether or not my kids are 'in' enough things. Compared to everyone else I know my kids are not in enough, (their opinion) my daughter (8) is in a gymnastics class and girl scouts. My son (9) is in a science club. My youngest daughter(5) isn't in any.

I think for our family its been up to them, and alot of times they don't want to be in classes. When I go through, "They aren't doing enough" and I suggest some, they just kind-of shake their heads and say they want to do stuff at home or other things.

The cost thing is definitely an issue too, for us the science club is very low priced and so is girl scouts, but the gymnastics is pretty costly. This is her first and I don't know if she'll continue through out or not.

I guess what really bothers me about classes is when its the parents who want to be there more than the kids.

Some moms I know used to say "its my social time" that pretty much made me sick, especially when the kids were sooo over scheduled that they didn't know which way was up.

I remember being at swimming lessons a few years ago and I was soo proud to be at a lesson, (ha!) and I'm talking with another mom and she tells me that this was her kids second activity and they still had one more to go to! And this was only in the morning? Insane, in my opinion. And this was summer, supposed to be the kids vacation?????

I suppose a certain level of activity is healthy and good, but isn't that up to the child? I don't think you should feel guiltied into putting the kids into classes. Also when they are younger isn't it more the kids getting together with other kids? You can do that with friends, and from some earlier posts by you, you've indicated that you are attempting to do that!

From my point of view I think you are worrying needlessly,

On the whole environment thing, is there a Y? a community center? or a university? In our town we don't have a Y, but our university has some activities that they hold that are very reasonably priced, some free.

Hope I've helped!

Kelli



Shyrley <shyrley.williams@...> wrote:
I've been thinking about 'classes' recently, mainly cos a lot of people here sign their kids up for 4 or 5 classes a week. Things like Creative writing and horse riding and guitar and art etc etc.

It's brought on that little frisson of 'missing out' guilt for some reason.
We can't afford classes in anything plus my kids don't seem that bothered but there's that little part of me that wonders if they are 'missing out' or 'losing opportunities'.
I feel inadequate.

I'm also aware that in some ways these classes are substitutes for the freedom that I had as a child. I could go out all day from 8 onwards with a bunch of sandwhiches and lie in a feild, climb trees,
swim in the lake. My mother wouldn't see us till supper time. We would walk up the road to our friends house and go out skate boarding and bike riding.
I feel like my kids are missing out doubly. I can't afford classes and where I live there are no buses for them to catch, no fields and trees for them to go wild in. There's too many cars for them to go
biking in the street so they don't have the freedom I had as a child :-(

So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do lots of classes and those who's kids don't.

Shyrley

My kids are outside making a snow-man. They seem happy.


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In a message dated 01/06/2003 12:23:29 PM Eastern Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:

> So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do lots
> of classes and those who's kids don't.
>
Over the past six months, Eric 11ds has stopped Boy Scouts, violin lessons,
YMCA basketball, and church youth group for a variety of reasons. I was
filling out the master calendar of activities the other day and noticed that
he wasn't doing as many organized activities as last year at this time. These
activities, along with stopping them, were all his own choices. I asked him
what he thought of not having these activities and did he miss any of them.
He said that he didn't miss any of them. With a big smile, he said, "I get to
do Eric things."

We trusted him to chose what he wanted to do, but we also trusted him to stop
doing what he didn't want to do anymore. He's happy where he is right now. If
he wants to do something else, he knows it's his choice.

Shyrley, wasn't your MIL just visiting? Could any of your class taking doubts
be because of her visit? Just a thought. I still have the German Christmas
punch ready for your next unschooling get-together. Hopefully not on a Mon or
Weds.

Take care,
Ginny


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mary Bianco

>In a message dated 01/06/2003 12:23:29 PM Eastern Standard Time,
>shyrley.williams@... writes:

<<So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do
lots of classes and those who's kids don't.>>


Just jumping in on this one as my kids don't seem to want to do outside
activities as much as what I hear from other parents and kids. Even my
oldest in school doesn't like the whole sports or club scene. She likes to
come and go as she pleases and the younger 2 of the 3 so far seem to be the
same way.

My son when he was 5 wanted to do T-ball. My husband and I were coach and
team mom so we could closely watch the goings on there. He had fun but by
the end of the season was really tired of "having" to be somewhere at a
certain time on a certain day. Now the middle two are 8 as of Sat. and soon
to be 7 in 4 weeks. The only thing they do on a regualar basis is a
homeschooling sports camp every Friday at the park for 3 hours. That runs
every week from Sept. until May. We have two regular park days once a month.
One we run ourselves so we are always there, the other one is up for grabs
depending on weather and how the kids feel. Other than that, nothing
organized. The field trips we do are at our choice. Sometimes 5 a month,
sometimes none. Everything else is spur of the moment. Aside from about 3
other families I know that homeschool, we are unusual in what we don't do. I
must also add that when something comes up, I always explain to the kids
what it is and what will be expected and let them decide. If they get to
wher they want to do more organized stuff, we would be happy to oblige. My 8
year old has actually just asked to join an organized soccer team,
unfortunately it's not soccer season now and he'll have to wait. The 7 year
old naturally wants to join too.


Mary B


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In a message dated 1/6/03 1:39:56 PM Eastern Standard Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:

> I would suggest taking your kids someplace where they can go biking,
> instead of a class. (Unless they really want a class. My son doesn't.)
>
> Betsy
>

Thats a great idea.. I take mine to local parks with trails and also to local
church parking lots.( BIG ONES.. lol) I've never been questioned or asked to
leave.. Its pretty obvious we are just there riding bikes.

Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 1/6/2003 11:23:10 AM Central Standard Time,
shyrley.williams@... writes:


> So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do lots
> of classes and those who's kids don't.
>
>

We used to do more classes than we do now. We just have a music class now
and the kids really enjoy it. It's not school like at all, more like story
time at a library except with music and instruments and singing and dancing.
We don't go if they don't feel up to it.

We used to do an art class, but it was too class like for them (and me). Now
we do ceramics once a week with a homeschool group, no instruction, but lots
of kids and moms. We haven't been since I broke my ankle, but the snow is
melting and we might head out this week. Again, we don't go if they don't
feel like it.

Mine are younger, though. Three and four. So, with older kids there might
be a difference.

Elizabeth


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In a message dated 1/6/2003 1:15:18 PM Central Standard Time, GDobes@...
writes:


> Shyrley, wasn't your MIL just visiting?

Hey, Shyrley, you never told us how it went!

Elizabeth


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shyrley

GDobes@... wrote:

> In a message dated 01/06/2003 12:23:29 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> shyrley.williams@... writes:
>
> > So I thought I'd share with the list and hear from people whose kids do lots
> > of classes and those who's kids don't.
> >
> Over the past six months, Eric 11ds has stopped Boy Scouts, violin lessons,
> YMCA basketball, and church youth group for a variety of reasons. I was
> filling out the master calendar of activities the other day and noticed that
> he wasn't doing as many organized activities as last year at this time. These
> activities, along with stopping them, were all his own choices. I asked him
> what he thought of not having these activities and did he miss any of them.
> He said that he didn't miss any of them. With a big smile, he said, "I get to
> do Eric things."
>
> We trusted him to chose what he wanted to do, but we also trusted him to stop
> doing what he didn't want to do anymore. He's happy where he is right now. If
> he wants to do something else, he knows it's his choice.
>
> Shyrley, wasn't your MIL just visiting? Could any of your class taking doubts
> be because of her visit? Just a thought. I still have the German Christmas
> punch ready for your next unschooling get-together. Hopefully not on a Mon or
> Weds.
>
> Take care,
> Ginny
>

It's next Tuesday.

MIL hasn't been yet. She's coming in February :-(

Shyrley

Christine ONeal

Speaking of classes, I go through this too with my son. I feel like since he doesn't go to school, maybe he should be in some classes. So I signed him up for a tumbling for tots class, the description of the class sounded great. I thought he would run around, do obsticle courses, socialize with the other kids and maybe learn to do somersaults. Boy was I wrong! He spend most of the class sitting with his back against the wall waiting for his turn. Ok, actually, he didn't, the rest of the kids did, but he refused and instead sat on my lap. The instructor actually yelled at him for not sitting with the other kids. We left. It was everything I hate about school and the whole reason I'm not sending him to school. The instructor actually told one girl that she couldn't go to the bathroom, she would have to wait until class was over. And this was a fun class. Yikes! So, I think now when I get guilt about the taking classes thing, I will remember this one and hopefully decide he is better off without them.
Christy
Betsy <ecsamhill@...> wrote:

**There's too many cars
for them to go
biking in the street so they don't have the freedom I had as a child :-(**


I would suggest taking your kids someplace where they can go biking,
instead of a class. (Unless they really want a class. My son doesn't.)

Betsy

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Shyrley,
Emily has a lot of classes because she requests them. She HATES to stay home.
She wants to see her friends and play and DO STUFF. She takes Riding 1x/wk,
Book group 1x/mth, Bowling 1x/wk (she probably bowls every other time though,
Craft/Play day about 3-4 x/month. She wants to do more. We're starting an art
class on Thursday.
She starts ALOT of classes and doesn't finish. It's ok.
Zack being 15 is a little more responsible for his own social life. He bowls
2x/wk, one league is homeschoolers (with Em) one is regular kids on
Saturdays. He plays Magic on Mondays when He is in the mood, adn Rocketry
Club starts on Thursday.
Max tags along.
As far as money goes, I justify it by the amount of money I'm NOT spending on
school related issues. No school clothes, no lunch money, no field trip
money, no boxes of tissues and other school supplies. All that money not
spent goes towards our life.
Elissa

*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.


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Ginny
Are you in VA too?
Shyrley,
When ARE we having the next one?
Can we do it on a Friday?
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shyrley

Earthmomma67@... wrote:

> Ginny
> Are you in VA too?
> Shyrley,
> When ARE we having the next one?
> Can we do it on a Friday?
> *~*Elissa Jill*~*

It's next Tuesday so sorry but if you wanna come round next Friday then please do.
I don't know when the following meetings are in Feb n March cos lots of people then volunteered to host so its out of my hands.
Come on Elissa....you can do it....get all the way to my house.....15 whole minutes.....

;-)

Shyrley

[email protected]

Yes, we're in the Charlottesville area.
Ginny


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