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In a message dated 1/5/03 4:32:11 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< But here's what originally came across as radical to me, but later fell
into
place. After you've been giving your children control over their education,
which is really control over how they spend their time, perhaps you'll start
looking at the other places you exert control in their lives. I grew from
wanting to unschool with a math curriculum (not really possible to do, but I
was trying!) to letting go of the whole curriculum idea, to letting go of
restrictions on tv/video time, restrictions on foods, etc. But it takes
TIME to get there for a lot of us. (And you may strongly defend some
cherished ideas on the way. I'm still slightly chargrinned over some of my
posts 8 or 9 months ago before I let go of more control areas!) >>

Oh, I can SO relate to this.
Someone (I think it was here) was laughing about some of the things I posted
in defense of controlling tv. Then she looked at the date...it was
pre-tv-paradigm shift!! LOL
I went through the same type of shifts that you did Brenda....letting go of
the math, then the food, then the tv and video games.....sigh.
Baby steps for some of us, but at least we can change for the better at any
time in our lives. We don't "turn out" at 18 like everyone had me convinced
when I was in school.
Thank goodness!!

Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com

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In a message dated 1/5/03 4:32:11 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< When our oldest son was little he always wanted more
direction and interaction than any of the other kids. He'd ask me to
buy workbooks because he just loved filling in the blanks -
especially math-related books - was he unschooling? >>

I have a five y.o. girl like this. She positively loves workbooks and
spending time doing "school". She calls it this, which often bugs me....but
it's a way to keep her from actually going to school!!
She's reading simple words already and completely obsessed with decoding
words.
Her nine y.o. brother could care less.
So it's about trust, yes. And following the childs lead...not what it is we
are or aren't doing.
I prefer many other methods to workbooks, I find them boring, predictable (I
suppose that's what she likes) and not a true learning tool. More like a
review tool.
But she loves them and gets them out herself. So it wouldn't be unschooling
if I tried to stop her, she needs this type of activity for some reason and I
need to trust her to get from it what she wants.


Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com

Stephanie Elms

> Oh, I can SO relate to this.
> Someone (I think it was here) was laughing about some of the
> things I posted
> in defense of controlling tv. Then she looked at the date...it was
> pre-tv-paradigm shift!! LOL

HeHeHe. That was me...I hope that you don't mind Ren. It just gives me hope for
myself. Sometimes I just think that I am the only one that struggles at times
and it is nice to see that others started with similar issues.

Stephanie E.

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In a message dated 1/5/03 8:31:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:

> I have a five y.o. girl like this. She positively loves workbooks and
> spending time doing "school". She calls it this, which often bugs me....but
>
> it's a way to keep her from actually going to school!!
>

If my kids wanted this, I would do it.
I wouldn't mind at all. I love the workbooks, getting all the pencils lined
up, putting the little tabs in the divider pages.
Fortunately they aren't odd like me.
*~*Elissa Jill*~*
unschooling Momma to 3 beautiful brilliant people
Loving partner for life to Joey
terrible guitarist, fair singer and happy woman.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 1/7/03 11:30:21 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< . It makes it difficult for someone with absolutely no
experience, who in fact grew up in a very different way, to just jump
right in. What a lot of the posters have really done for me though, is
force me into answering a lot of my own questions. And that I appreciate. >>

Well, most of us had ZERO experience starting out on this journey too Wende.
Because most of us were raised in school without a whole lot of choices.
This list did for me what it did for you, made me answer my own questions.
It also made me critically examine what I thought was good and right. And you
know what? It came up wanting.
"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found
wanting"
lol
Thinking deeply about the why's is difficult and sometimes uncomfortable. But
it's the only way to break out of old mindsets that keep us stuck in the way
we were raised.
So keep asking and keep pondering, you seem good at that.
And try to remember that if the unschooling seems effortless, bubbly and
joyful for many people here, they can probably give you advice that will get
you to the same point.
Even if you initially think "that just can't work" it's good to read the
accounts of the advice givers life and ponder whether there is a piece of
somethine there that would help.
That's what kept getting me.
I would think that letting go of control just couldn't work, but here were
these people with real live kids and it was working beautifully.
Then the thought that MY kids were different came along...but then, there
were SO many people here saying it would work. And proving it by living an
incredibly interesting life.
So I finally had to really think about things on a different level and admit
I was brainwashed!!! sigh.....
It's not easy, but it's good.

Ren
"The world's much smaller than you think. Made up of two kinds of
people--simple and complicated.....The simple ones are contented. The
complicated ones aren't."
"Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com