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My son wanted to get in trouble at school, told me all the violent
things he was going to do to people, how cool it would be, etc. He has
been labeled bi-polar and has dyslexia. The violent, emotional
disturbances and the way everyone who was looking in on the situation
nearly drove many of us in the family to want to kill ourselves. It was
awful. At first when he was diagnosed with bi polar I thought "great" I
finally know what the "label" is. Then the heavy drugs took him over and
he was what he had feared the most a walking zombie. Then time went by.
We stopped giving him drugs and gave him a nutritional supplement for
people with bi polar. I took him out of public school and began
unschooling. His anger/depression decreased greatly. I have been
thinking again lately about a society that for the most part doesnt want
to hear about the things that anger children/teens. We are too busy
trying to get them to comform so we can school them in a public
building. Forget that they are individuals. Forget the torment some are
going through. MAKE them fit! This is an old scenario. It is too easy in
my opinion, to label teens bipolar, pigeon hole them, and "put them
away." It's a "fix." Another teen we know has just been labeled bipolar
by this same doctor and is taking lithium. I asked her has anyone talked
to you about why you feel angry? She said "no." She is black living in a
town with maybe two other blacks in 10,000, adopted (brings up issues
especially in the teen years), adoptive mom tells her she isn't wanted -
never was - etc. many, many times a week - she slit her wrist the last
time she told her that but didn't tell the doctor because she didn't
want to get her mom in trouble, etc. She just got her license and drives
like she wants to kill herself and/or anyone else - going through stop
signs for the "fun" of it. I know kids are angry. If people don't listen
it gets worse because they want to be heard, cared about, etc. Just
about every child, teen and young adult we know is on depression/anxiety
medication. I wonder how many years it will take to figure out why,
while they all suffer wondering "what is wrong" with them? Our local
university is doing a program to try to understand kids with emotional
disabilities and school issues. I think it should be looked at in the
opposite way. School enables emotional disabilities in children. That is
hard for people to hear so we will continue with what we are doing for a
long time, I am afraid. I keep speaking out about it. I tell any young
person who will listen to me to tell people how they really feel. It is
time to do that. They have been devalued far too long. Michele



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy

** adoptive mom tells her she isn't wanted -
never was - etc. many, many times a week**

This is just awful!

I'm going to have to rethink my theory that it is *school* that makes
most teenagers miserable. (I do think it's perfectly reasonable for an
average teen in school to be very pissed about having to be there.)

When parents really make an effort to be rotten, they can out rotten the
schools any day, because it strikes closer to the child's heart.

Betsy