Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] kids and behavior ..
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In a message dated 12/19/02 1:13:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
go back and nurse him now and eating myself up over it now wont help either.
Back to thumb sucking. Since it was on my mind, I brought it up to him
today. He and I were going to the grocery store. He was sucking his thumb.
I said. , smiling "is that thumb good?' He immediately got defensive and
said. "everybody asks me that!" ( I wasnt aware he was asked this question
often) I said.. "Oh.. they do, well, is it?" He said.. "Its good and bad..
its right in the middle of good and bad" I asked him what he meant. He said
" I like sucking my thumb, it feels good, but people talk about me " I
said.. Oh, so you it makes you feel good, but you dont like people talking
about it. He said ,"yeah, but I cant stop" I said" do you want to stop?" He
said, "not really" .. I just patted his leg and didnt say anything else I
really didnt know what else to say.
.. OH, then this happened in the dollar store. He had $1.50 and he wanted
to go buy this brothers and sister a christmas present. I took him in the
dollar store and told him he could pick thier gifts out and I would pay for
them. He got a car for Ethan, a box of candy for Landon, some peanuts for
his Dad and he found a necklace ( that was actually kind of gaudy.. lol) that
he LOVED for Anna.. He was so excited over that necklace. He said " Anna
will love it!" When we went to check out, he asked if he could pay for the
necklace himself... I said, "of course you can if you want to" He proudly
paid for the necklace and told the cashier that he was buying it for his
sister. She commended him and said that was so sweet of him. I said, yeah,
he picked these gifts out for his brothers and sister, but he wants to pay
for his sister's with his own money. Then, a little old lady came up to him
and gave him a handful of change. She said. :"Here sweety, you take this
change because you done something nice" JP was shocked. He smiled and
thanked her.. She said, when you do good things, it comes back to you. I
thanked her too and wished her a Merry Christmas. JP was so proud... WHen
we got back in the van, I said.. You did such a great job picking out gifts.
And you were so grown up and polite, that lady was impressed with how you
were behaving. The Dollar Store is usually one of the hot "meltdown" spots
for JP, he begs for things and throws tantrums. I could see the
realization in his eyes like an epiphany. That sweet little lady probably
helped to teach him how good behavior is rewarding more than anything I
could have said or done to convince him. It was much more her recognition of
him than the money she gave him. It was her praising him and going on about
how sweet he was, it made him feel very proud.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
> The poor kid had issues from not being nursed long enough, I still feelHey, I didnt even nurse Jon Phillip, the guilt is HUGE.. But, I know I can't
> terrible about it.
>
> Ren
>
go back and nurse him now and eating myself up over it now wont help either.
Back to thumb sucking. Since it was on my mind, I brought it up to him
today. He and I were going to the grocery store. He was sucking his thumb.
I said. , smiling "is that thumb good?' He immediately got defensive and
said. "everybody asks me that!" ( I wasnt aware he was asked this question
often) I said.. "Oh.. they do, well, is it?" He said.. "Its good and bad..
its right in the middle of good and bad" I asked him what he meant. He said
" I like sucking my thumb, it feels good, but people talk about me " I
said.. Oh, so you it makes you feel good, but you dont like people talking
about it. He said ,"yeah, but I cant stop" I said" do you want to stop?" He
said, "not really" .. I just patted his leg and didnt say anything else I
really didnt know what else to say.
.. OH, then this happened in the dollar store. He had $1.50 and he wanted
to go buy this brothers and sister a christmas present. I took him in the
dollar store and told him he could pick thier gifts out and I would pay for
them. He got a car for Ethan, a box of candy for Landon, some peanuts for
his Dad and he found a necklace ( that was actually kind of gaudy.. lol) that
he LOVED for Anna.. He was so excited over that necklace. He said " Anna
will love it!" When we went to check out, he asked if he could pay for the
necklace himself... I said, "of course you can if you want to" He proudly
paid for the necklace and told the cashier that he was buying it for his
sister. She commended him and said that was so sweet of him. I said, yeah,
he picked these gifts out for his brothers and sister, but he wants to pay
for his sister's with his own money. Then, a little old lady came up to him
and gave him a handful of change. She said. :"Here sweety, you take this
change because you done something nice" JP was shocked. He smiled and
thanked her.. She said, when you do good things, it comes back to you. I
thanked her too and wished her a Merry Christmas. JP was so proud... WHen
we got back in the van, I said.. You did such a great job picking out gifts.
And you were so grown up and polite, that lady was impressed with how you
were behaving. The Dollar Store is usually one of the hot "meltdown" spots
for JP, he begs for things and throws tantrums. I could see the
realization in his eyes like an epiphany. That sweet little lady probably
helped to teach him how good behavior is rewarding more than anything I
could have said or done to convince him. It was much more her recognition of
him than the money she gave him. It was her praising him and going on about
how sweet he was, it made him feel very proud.
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]