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Betsy,

Your right, hindsight is always 20/20. I DO want to hear what others think,
because it's likely there will be a next time.. If not with Landon, with my
other children. We did exhaust all possiblities. The shopping trip had
already been planned, and there were about 20 other kids involved, so they
couldnt change the date "just for him".. We only had one vehicle capable of
making the trip.. The tires weren't reliable on our car. I asked Mom and
Dad to bring him down the next day, but they also had previous plans ( and,
they dont like to camp.. lol) So, we did try to find a solution. I did feel
guilty.. I felt like I was depriving him of some life changing experience..
That is how he felt,and how he wanted me to feel. And there was plenty of
resentment go go around too. .He resenting us for outvoting him.. And us
resenting him for have such a bad attitude and trying to make the rest of us
miserable. I guess the good thing is, we all survived. And the hard
lesson is, in life, you can't always get what you want.

As a matter of fact, I had to say no again to him last week. The big ice
storm was forecast and it has started freezing rain. He wanted to go out to
lunch with some of his friends. The roads were already beginning to get
slippery. His friend who was driving has only had his liscense for a few
months. I said, No. I'm sorry, you can't go, its too risky. He was mad
again. That indestrutible attititude that "nothing will happen to me" kicked
in and he argued that he should be allowed to go. I didn't give in. I
asked him if the other kids parents said they could go. He said that they
were working and didnt know where they were or really care what they were
doing. I said.. Oh, OK, so you wish I didnt care about you.. He said., well,
no, but it would be a lot more fun.. Well,I would rather him be alive and
mad at me than killed while having fun. Anyway, he ranted and fussed and
raved for about an hour.. Then he realized that the roads were completetly
iced over.. He called his friend and guess what.. They didnt go out to lunch
either. He is the stage manager of a play that is running this weekend. He
and his friends all went out to eat last night after the play. And the roads
were clear :-) Again, alls well that ends well. IMO..




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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On Fri, 13 Dec 2002 13:37:05 EST grlynbl@... writes:
> As a matter of fact, I had to say no again to him last week. The
big ice
> storm was forecast and it has started freezing rain. He wanted to go
out to
> lunch with some of his friends. The roads were already beginning to
get
> slippery. His friend who was driving has only had his liscense for a
few
> months. I said, No. I'm sorry, you can't go, its too risky.

I am really behind... but in a case like this, I would have said
something like, "I'm concerned about you driving with an inexperienced
driver on icy roads" and started a dialogue from there. A response like
that just seems much easier for my daughter to take than the sort of
response you gave - then we can focus on the really issue, my concern
about her safety, and often she comes up with solutions I hadn't thought
of, or adds information that changes things.

Dar