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In a message dated 12/11/02 3:16:10 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> <<I remember my Mom getting into my
> bed when I was as old as 15..... I'm sure that is why I am so open to
> letting
> my kids sleep
> with us or going to sleep in thier beds if they need us. >>
>
> My parents wouldn't let me sleep on the couch in the room next to them if
> I
> had had a nightmare and would have been comforted by being just in the next
>
> ROOM.
>
> And I'm sure that is why I am so open to letting my kids sleep with us or
> going to sleep in their beds if they need me. <g>
>
> Sandra
>

I guess either of us could have went "either way" on this issue.. As well as
many other issues. We ALWAYS learn from our parents.. We either learned what
worked, and remember what we loved ( and made us feel loved) and we pass that
on to our children,. Or, we learn what they did wrong, what we hated, and
made us feel awful , and we vow to not follow in thier footsteps.
Sometimes, unfortunately, we learn the "wrong ways" and we continue the
legacy with our own children. I hate that you have some bad memories, and
that you feel your needs were'nt met by your parents,.. But, I am very glad
for you and your children that you didnt learned what NOT to do .. I had
(have) the best Mother in the world. My had (have) a wonderful father too.
For all the good stuff my Daddy is, for all he taught me that was right and
valuable, I love him dearly. I learned other lessons from him too, lessons
in what NOT to do. Like be an alcoholic or marry one. Many children of
alcoholics grow up to be alcoholics themselves, but neither my sisters ( or
their husband) nor I have ever had a drinking problem.. Heck, we really don't
even drink, just a very occasional social cocktail.

You know, the way Sandra has forged her own path in raising her children and
diverged from her past, and the fact that children of alcoholics have grown
up to NOT be drinkers, is just more proof that we are not destined to turn
into our parents. Although, I wish I could turn into my mother.. heck, I
turned out so good, I know she was perfect :-)

Teresa


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