[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 9:10:53 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I think it's society's rush, rush rush... You're born, you should be
reading right away and then to school and then become part of the working
force. What about JUST being a baby, then a toddler, then a kid, and live,
feel, think and dream JUST like a kid? >>

Well this will just make you all ill....although you're all probably aware of
stuff like this.
My dh saw a special on tv about these high end private preschools. The
parents of THREE y.o.'s are so worried about their child getting into a
special, $14,000 a year, highly academic, cuz-it's-the-path-to-an-ivy-league
college preschool that they bribe the school board to get them in!!
My dh was sickened by the whole thing.
They are so sure that if their child doesn't get into the right PRESCHOOL,
they are doomed to a mediocre life.
What ever happened to some common sense?
Three year olds with that kind of pressure on them? How sad.
People really do baffle me at times...



Ren
"The answers aren't important really...
What's important, is knowing all the questions."
-Zilpha Keatley Snyder
Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 4:08:50 PM !!!First Boot!!!, starsuncloud@...
writes:


> They are so sure that if their child doesn't get into the right PRESCHOOL,
> they are doomed to a mediocre life.
> What ever happened to some common sense?
> Three year olds with that kind of pressure on them? How sad.
> People really do baffle me at times...
>
>

I think this ties into our national obsession with ranking/labeling things
and people. Public school labels children - those who don't fall into the
"norm" and those who do and rewards/punishes accordingly.

I also think that common sense, something that used to be highly regarded as
a desirable trait, has given way to an entire nation of people who no longer
want to think for themselves and/or their families. We (generic) "want" to
be told the best method for everything. We "want" someone else to fix our
problems. We "want" someone to tell us what will work for raising our
children. We "want" someone to take over and make decisions for us.

Those of us who have chosen to "step out of line" by
homeschooling/unschooling, those of us who chose to raise our children in a
different manner, those of us who have taken responsibility for our own lives
and our own children are considered nuts.

Beth Allen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 9:27:44 AM, EBA7009@... writes:

<< I think this ties into our national obsession with ranking/labeling things
and people. Public school labels children - those who don't fall into the
"norm" and those who do and rewards/punishes accordingly. >>

And there is a desire among "successful" people to be able to "one-up" the
neighbors with the car they drive, the house they own, the hobbies they can
afford, their boat... and so if they have a kid who one-ups the neighbor's
kid, that's further status credit. And how can you prove your kid is
superior without a school uniform or sports success or something
photographable?


Keith spent a long Holly-day yesterday. Her fiddle teacher had organized
Christmas performances at four nursing homes. Holly went to three of those
four, and during the second one she went to her acting classes. Keith did
all that driving and was with her all day, took her lunch, etc. (The kind of
thing I ordinarily do.)

This morning he said she was the best behaved of any of them, and that she
seemed to be having a lot of fun and wasn't stressing. She's one of the
older and tallest of them, and one of the beginners, too, but that didn't
seem to faze her a bit either.

Sandra

susan marie

One of our favorite shows is Biography, My 12 yo dd and I talk about it
a lot. One of the common factors with a lot of these highly successful
people is NOT that they went to the right preschool. They quite often
come from very average backgrounds - what they have in common was the
freedom (either given to them or they went and got it) to pursue a
passion and the dedication, love to pursue their dream.

peace,
Susan

On Sunday, December 8, 2002, at 11:07 AM, starsuncloud@... wrote:

> In a message dated 12/8/02 9:10:53 AM Central Standard Time,
> [email protected] writes:
>
> << I think it's society's rush, rush rush... You're born, you should be
> reading right away and then to school and then become part of the
> working
> force. What about JUST being a baby, then a toddler, then a kid, and
> live,
> feel, think and dream JUST like a kid? >>
>
> Well this will just make you all ill....although you're all probably
> aware of
> stuff like this.
> My dh saw a special on tv about these high end private preschools. The
> parents of THREE y.o.'s are so worried about their child getting into a
> special, $14,000 a year, highly academic, cuz-
> it's-the-path-to-an-ivy-league
> college preschool that they bribe the school board to get them in!!
> My dh was sickened by the whole thing.
> They are so sure that if their child doesn't get into the right
> PRESCHOOL,
> they are doomed to a mediocre life.
> What ever happened to some common sense?
> Three year olds with that kind of pressure on them? How sad.
> People really do baffle me at times...
>
>
>
> Ren
> "The answers aren't important really...
> What's important,  is knowing all the questions."
>                            -Zilpha Keatley Snyder
> Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
> email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the
> list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
> an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
peace,
Susan

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead

"All we are saying is give peace a chance."
- John Lennon


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betsy

** This morning he said she was the best behaved of any of them...**

Sometimes it's great to get the dad-perspective, especially in settings
the dad doesn't always see.

When my husband wasn't working, he came to the park day and played a
baseball-like game with the kids. (He was pitching and they were
batting and running the bases and there was no opposing team.)

He was very favorably impressed with how patient and cooperative the
kids were. They were great about waiting, even if the person in front
of them needed a lot of swings to hit the ball.

Working with public school kids had led him to expect whining and
pushing to get ahead and other attention-seeking behaviors. I think our
(homeschooled) kids haven't been deprived of fun and adult attention
(generalizing) as much as school kids have. Those kids are starved of
some of the things they need. It's not really surprising that our kids
can wait a little longer to get "fed".

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 10:40:48 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< I think our
(homeschooled) kids haven't been deprived of fun and adult attention
(generalizing) as much as school kids have. Those kids are starved of
some of the things they need. It's not really surprising that our kids
can wait a little longer to get "fed". >>

I think that's it. They're not needy.

My column in the upcoming issue of Home Education Magazine [everyone go buy a
copy or subscribe! plug-moment] is about abundance, and that children who are
given respect and freedom can afford to give respect and freedom away to
others.

Sandra

Helen Hegener

At 11:29 AM -0500 12/8/02, EBA7009@... wrote:
>I also think that common sense, something that used to be highly regarded as
>a desirable trait, has given way to an entire nation of people who no longer
>want to think for themselves and/or their families. We (generic) "want" to
>be told the best method for everything. We "want" someone else to fix our
>problems. We "want" someone to tell us what will work for raising our
>children. We "want" someone to take over and make decisions for us.

This is a sad - but dead-on-the-money in my book - commentary on our
current society.

Helen

Helen Hegener

At 11:07 AM -0500 12/8/02, starsuncloud@... wrote:
>They are so sure that if their child doesn't get into the right PRESCHOOL,
>they are doomed to a mediocre life.
>What ever happened to some common sense?

I think what happened was school. In the 20+ years we've been
publishing Home Education Magazine we've seen a subtle but important
shift from thinking of education as just something that goes along
with whatever else one does in life, to thinking of education as a
kind of one-way ticket to life itself. Let me rephrase that... I got
distracted and I'm not sure the meaning will be clear.

When I went to public school, in the '50's and '60's (yeah, I'm an
old geezer, gramma five times now), there was a delicious sense that
what we were learning was more or less preparation for whatever we
decided to do with our lives after schooling ended. There was no
sense that if you failed a class you might be failing something
larger - you simply retook the class until you figured it out. A
niece of mine, a senior in high school this year, is practically
giving herself ulcers because she's struggling with an advanced math
class this year (trigonometry or something), and she's been told that
if she doesn't pass that class she can't take a certain college
course she needs to pursue her chosen career path. This one class is
jeopardizing the kid's entire future, so her math-whiz dad is
basically holding her hand all the way through the damn course. How
many kids like her face similar situations but don't have the backup
dad handy?

Somewhere between the time I dropped out of school (actually, it was
more like kissed the nonsense goodbye) and what kids are faced with
these days there was a big slow change in what schools are about.
There's a strong sense that unless you get on the right educational
track early you're going to miss out, and I think a lot of it has
been driven by higher education - where the big bucks really hang
out. Public schooling might be free, but once you graduate it's a
whole different ballgame. There's money to be had, which is why
colleges and universities hire headhunters, cherrypickers, fellows
who scour the graduating classes for the best and the brightest,
whose brains will bring scholarship monies (and prestige, which
begets more money) to the school of higher education. It's Big
Business at its crassest, and it's all built on a tenuous belief that
without the degrees and certificates you won't be able to land a
well-paying job in a good company.

Remember Michael J. Fox's old movie "The Secret of My Success?" The
kid makes it to the top not because of his hard-earned papers and
certificates, but because he's sharper at people skills, takes
advantage of some ticklish opportunities, isn't afraid to buck the
system and do things his own way, and of course his aunt owns the
outfit - all that stuff they *didn't* teach in college. But there's a
lot of truth in that silly little movie, too. Real life often works
that way - it's not what certificate you hold, but who you've
impressed, what you've accomplished, what kind of person you are that
paves the way. My kids have learned the truth of that many times over
- the older four who've been out in the working world for many years
now have all referred to that movie and said "Yep, just the attitude
you approach things with makes a big difference in what you'll be
able to do..." And they've learned that there isn't much - from
constructing commercial buildings (two sons have been foremen on
major commercial jobs) to long-haul trucking (one son's latest
interest - he been in 9 states in the last week) that can't be
learned on the job, just as I learned how to publish a magazine by
just deciding to do it. <g>

I think I got lost again, and haven't really said what I wanted to
here about how educational interests are driving and shaping society
- entire books have been written on that topic - but I'm leaving for
Alaska in the morning so I'd better set this list to digest mode and
get back to packing my bags. I'll be downloading the digests and
catching up on reading this list as I can, and once I'm settled in up
north I'll be back in the conversation again. This is still one of my
favorite lists to hang out on! <g>

Helen
--------------------------------
Helen Hegener, Managing Editor
Home Education Magazine
HEM-Editor@...
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
--------------------------------

Helen Hegener

At 12:52 PM -0500 12/8/02, SandraDodd@... wrote:
>My column in the upcoming issue of Home Education Magazine [everyone go buy a
>copy or subscribe! plug-moment]

Hear, hear! And if you'd like an absolutely FREE, no-strings copy, go here:
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/

and click under the magazine image where it says "Never seen a copy?"

<eg>
Greedy capitalist pig Helen
(but see, Joyce, I *did* change the header! <g>)

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 11:28:43 AM, HEM-Editor@...
writes:

<< she's been told that
if she doesn't pass that class she can't take a certain college
course she needs to pursue her chosen career path. >>

So they're lying to her.
That's not new at school, unfortunately.

We were told lots of things we "had" to do, and none of it was true, in the
1960's.
When I was teaching I told kids the truth about what state requirements were
and what colleges needed, and how they could transfer from a state college
which HAD to accept them into a fancier college if their grades were good
there.

Maybe that's another reason I didn't last.

Sandra

[email protected]

You're not very good at greedy capitalist pigitude, are you?
I'm trying to sell something for you, and here you're giving it away!


In a message dated 12/8/02 11:38:55 AM, HEM-Editor@...
writes:

<< Hear, hear! And if you'd like an absolutely FREE, no-strings copy, go here:
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com/

and click under the magazine image where it says "Never seen a copy?"

<eg>
Greedy capitalist pig Helen >>


--Sandra, the worst-ever businesswoman who gives stuff away lots

Betsy

**Remember Michael J. Fox's old movie "The Secret of My Success?" The
kid makes it to the top not because of his hard-earned papers and
certificates, but because he's sharper at people skills, takes
advantage of some ticklish opportunities, isn't afraid to buck the
system and do things his own way, and of course his aunt owns the
outfit - all that stuff they *didn't* teach in college.**

That reminds me.

Affirmative action at University of California law schools has been in
the news recently. (I think because the Supreme Court is going to
review a case testing the constitutionality of using race as a factor in admissions.)

I heard a long, thoughtful discussion of the topic a couple of years ago
on NPR. One point really stuck with me after that discussion.

They were talking about whether test scores and grades in law school
were any good at predicting who would be a good lawyer or who would be a
successful lawyer. They looked at who made partner out of the
population of law students that had gone to work at large firms. They
said the number one factor for predicting who would (and did) make
partner in the firm was not test scores or grades, but "pizzazz".

My personal definition of "pizzazz" would be personality, energy and
smarts, with the smarts not being test-taking smarts, but rather
interpersonal and intrapersonal smarts, along with enough traditional
intelligence to keep up.

Sometimes our culture makes test scores too important, because numbers
seem scientific, objective and fair. We ignore the things that can't be
easily measured and enumerated.

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/8/02 2:04:05 PM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< It's Big
Business at its crassest, and it's all built on a tenuous belief that
without the degrees and certificates you won't be able to land a
well-paying job in a good company.
>>

And this is where my conspiracy theory suspicisou side kicks in and sees
socialism on the rise in this country.
Tracking people into jobs from an early age, deciding what they will and
won't do for a living based on school performance.
Which is SO incredibly wrong and totally against everything a free society
stands for in my opinion.

"but I'm leaving for
Alaska in the morning "

Enjoy those grandchildren Helen....I really hope I get to catch up with you
in AK one of these days.
Planning to be there in July, is there even a remote possibility? My sis is
in Wasilla, so I wouldn't be far up the road....

Ren
"The answers aren't important really...
What's important, is knowing all the questions."
-Zilpha Keatley Snyder
Unschooling support at pensacolaunschoolers.com

Helen Hegener

At 1:54 PM -0500 12/8/02, SandraDodd@... wrote:
>You're not very good at greedy capitalist pigitude, are you?
>I'm trying to sell something for you, and here you're giving it away!

Well, c'est la vie. <g> Mark and I decided a l-o-n-g time ago that
we're not in this to get rich, but to support homeschooling families,
and we don't want anyone to miss out on the best doggone
homeschooling - really unschooling - magazine out there just cuz they
might not think they can afford it. We remember what that's like.

Lots of folks have had pretty good luck requesting that their local
libraries subscribe - HEM gets extremely high marks from library
resource editors, and I don't think we've ever had a library cancel a
subscription unless they were faced with a budget cut. In fact lots
of library systems enter subs for every one of their branches, and
many big-city libraries have multiple copies going to the same branch.

And we work hard to make good offers to local support groups, too.
I've lost track of how many support groups give away free copies at
their meetings...

Helen

Helen Hegener

At 3:34 PM -0500 12/8/02, starsuncloud@... wrote:
>And this is where my conspiracy theory suspicisou side kicks in and sees
>socialism on the rise in this country.
>Tracking people into jobs from an early age, deciding what they will and
>won't do for a living based on school performance.
>Which is SO incredibly wrong and totally against everything a free society
>stands for in my opinion.

Ah, Ren, don't get me started on *this* thread... or at least wait
til I can spend more time sharing my thoughts... <g>

>Enjoy those grandchildren Helen....I really hope I get to catch up with you
>in AK one of these days.
>Planning to be there in July, is there even a remote possibility? My sis is
>in Wasilla, so I wouldn't be far up the road....

Wasilla's our home town! Actually Palmer, which is 10 miles away...
And yeah, I'm planning to still be there next July - that's the
height of salmon fishing season and we've got a whole family of
fisherpeople! <g>

Helen

Tia Leschke

>
> Somewhere between the time I dropped out of school (actually, it was
> more like kissed the nonsense goodbye)

Yet another way we're alike, Helen. I left in the middle of grade 11. We
went to school around the same time, but I only have 3 grandkids so far.
<g>

and what kids are faced with
> these days there was a big slow change in what schools are about.
> There's a strong sense that unless you get on the right educational
> track early you're going to miss out, and I think a lot of it has
> been driven by higher education - where the big bucks really hang
> out. Public schooling might be free, but once you graduate it's a
> whole different ballgame. There's money to be had, which is why
> colleges and universities hire headhunters, cherrypickers, fellows
> who scour the graduating classes for the best and the brightest,
> whose brains will bring scholarship monies (and prestige, which
> begets more money) to the school of higher education. It's Big
> Business at its crassest, and it's all built on a tenuous belief that
> without the degrees and certificates you won't be able to land a
> well-paying job in a good company.

And the kids get brainwashed all through school to believe they'll be
nothing without finishing high school and getting a college degree. They
buy it, and they've even brainwashed my son with it, to some degree. I'm
pretty sure that's where he picked up the idea that he's stupid. His
friends all go to school.

>
> I think I got lost again, and haven't really said what I wanted to
> here about how educational interests are driving and shaping society
> - entire books have been written on that topic - but I'm leaving for
> Alaska in the morning so I'd better set this list to digest mode and
> get back to packing my bags. I'll be downloading the digests and
> catching up on reading this list as I can, and once I'm settled in up
> north I'll be back in the conversation again. This is still one of my
> favorite lists to hang out on! <g>

I sure hope you're going to pass through the Island one of these days on one
of your trips back and forth.
Tia

susan marie

abundance -- what a great way to put it. (and thanks for the reminder --
I need to renew my subscription!! :-D

my dd says one of the best parts of homeschooling is the ability to have
conversations with me. That's abundance too - of time, and opportunity.

peace,
s.

On Sunday, December 8, 2002, at 12:52 PM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> In a message dated 12/8/02 10:40:48 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:
>
> <<  I think our
> (homeschooled) kids haven't been deprived of fun and adult attention
> (generalizing) as much as school kids have.  Those kids are starved of
> some of the things they need.  It's not really surprising that our kids
> can wait a little longer to get "fed". >>
>
> I think that's it.  They're not needy.
>
> My column in the upcoming issue of Home Education Magazine [everyone go
> buy a
> copy or subscribe! plug-moment] is about abundance, and that children
> who are
> given respect and freedom can afford to give respect and freedom away to
> others.
>
> Sandra
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please
> email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the
> list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address
> an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
peace,
Susan

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead

"All we are saying is give peace a chance."
- John Lennon


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]