Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

>>>> I don't like jokes at children's expense either. Some people call it
>teasing, but if it is something you would not do to an adult, than it is
>an abuse of power.>>>>
>
>I was raised with a lot of sarcasm, and sometimes find myself using it.
>I really have to work on that.
>Mary Ellen

Sarcasm is great, in moderation. Teasing is fine too. I live in a house
full of smartasses. The problem comes, in my opinion, when we have another
set of rules for children than for the rest of the world. When we say
something to kids that would be considered rude were we speaking to an
adult, that is an abuse of power. It's like the whole "Easy Answers"
thread, and how would you feel is someone told you to "Go look it up"??

I try to evaluate how I speak to children, including my own, based on how I
would want to be spoken to or how I speak to other adults. I am constantly
seeing kids get ignored, told to "shut up," spoken to in rude tones, etc.
Kids are still in the process of being socialized, and yes, they do rude
things and behave in ways that adults would not. All the more reason for
us to show them by example how they should treat others. "Two wrongs do
not make a right" and all that.

Nanci K.

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/27/99 3:05:42 AM Eastern Standard Time,
tn-k4of5@... writes:

<< Sarcasm is great, in moderation. Teasing is fine too. I live in a house
full of smartasses. The problem comes, in my opinion, when we have another
set of rules for children than for the rest of the world. >>


I come from a long line of tongue in cheek smartasses. My kids inherited it.
I do believe it is hereditary. My sisters and brother all have the same sense
if humor and they really are funny. I don't know what is meant by teasing. I
hate the stuff the younger two do to each other that always ends up in a
fight. We use light teasing or humor to get through life here. I prefer it to
crying. LOL

Laura

Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

><< Sarcasm is great, in moderation. Teasing is fine too. I live in a house
> full of smartasses. The problem comes, in my opinion, when we have another
> set of rules for children than for the rest of the world. >>
>
>
>I come from a long line of tongue in cheek smartasses. My kids inherited it.
>I do believe it is hereditary. My sisters and brother all have the same
sense
>if humor and they really are funny. I don't know what is meant by teasing.
>Laura

By "teasing" I mean good natured teasing. The kind of light hearted humor
that reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously. I don't mean
tormenting others or exploiting someone's pet peeves, flaws or
idiosyncrasies. I think that children often do this (particularly to each
other) because they lack the finess or experience to temper their humor
with kindness. Perhaps there is also something of the psychology of power
struggles between siblings in it as well? Kids also get a lot of bad
examples from popular media and peers, as there are a lot of "jokes" flung
around at other people's expense. Not in good taste, in my opinion. This
is another example of how kids can benefit by having role models and
caregivers model better behavior and ways of expressing yourself which does
not step on someone else.

Nanci K.

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/27/99 7:09:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,
tn-k4of5@... writes:

<< Kids also get a lot of bad
examples from popular media and peers, as there are a lot of "jokes" flung
around at other people's expense. Not in good taste, in my opinion. >>

I agree with you Nanci. We don't allow Simpson's type remarks, nor do I like
a lot of the flip remarks my teenagers come off with like "whatever". They
learn pretty quil what is not acceptable.

Laura