Thad Martin

hi,

i would like to say without a doubt you experienced full blown
discrimination from many angles and if i were you i would bone up on the
state laws regarding homeschooling because she may not let it drop,
despite the fact that you were the one to initiate the visit. i don't
mean to promote fear or sound paranoid but with all the fear that's flying
around the country it may not be a bad idea to be fully prepared for a
visit from some sort of official because in some states a dr must report
situation which they feel are abusive and if she's so anti homeschooling
she may interpret your son's moodiness as signs of something else. i'm not
versed on the laws of washington and here in texas we have it 'easy' but
it's better to be prepared than getting caught off guard. if you don't
know the laws or where to find them i would be happy to locate and email
them to you. i'm so sorry that you got the exact opposite of help. good
luck to you.

as far as your son goes there's been a book which has been talked about a
lot on tv (i think on oprah and other shows) i think it's entitled real
boys personally i have not read it but from what i understand to get boys
talking you need to do it in the context of doing something i.e. drawing,
fishing, playing basketball etc. maybe finding a hobby or an activity he
really enjoys might help him find some way to express himself so both you
and he can get a better understanding of his nature. you may want to
check out the site heartmath.org it's kind of interesting. just a
thought. i've had no experience with hereditary mental illness but if you
can get him talking it may lead both of you to a better place.

-susan
austin,tx
thad (husband)
rene' (4)

Kelly Thielen wrote:

> From: Kelly Thielen <kellylyn@...>
>
> Hello,
> I am on digest mode of this list, and have not been active on the list
> either, for some time, due to time constraints. I am writing now to ask
> for some much needed understanding and support(help?).
>
> Something happened yesterday, that made me realize my need for support,
> which will require a bit of background information, so here it is:
>
> I live in WA state, and I have been homeschooling my 2 children(ages 8 &
> 6) for 2+years now. Unschooling is an informed lifestyle choice I have
> made for my family. I am a very capable single mother, on a limited
> income(disability). My children's father is not, and never has been
> involved in their lives. They do have male role models, and their
> absent biological father is not a problem or an issue in my life or my
> children's at this time.
>
> I also have Bipolar disorder(otherwise known as manic depression), a
> very serious, potentially life threatening(a shocking 15-20% of
> untreated bipolar sufferers commit suicide), incurable, but highly
> treatable(medication called mood stabilizers, are a must for this
> illness) neurobiological disorder of the brain, which affects mood,
> behavior, and thoughts. It is also highly genetic and happens to run in
> both sides of my family(and possibly my children's paternal line as
> well). I had childhood onset type(even more highly genetic) of bipolar
> disorder, as did my maternal grandfather and a maternal uncle. My
> extended family, on both sides, is riddled with "mental
> illness"(paternal grandmother & grandfather, my own brother & my
> father). As a result of all of this, I have educated myself about
> neurobioligical brain disorders(otherwise called "mental illnesses"),
> their symptoms, treatment, etc., and continue to do so.
>
> My son(age 8.5 yrs.), who is very intelligent, smart, and wonderful &
> sweet, has been showing signs of A.D.H.D. since birth, basicly, nothing
> for which I am too concerned about other than the fact that ADD is often
> seen in children prior to onset of bipolar symptoms(a precursor sign).
> Last year, I noticed some changes in my sons mood and behavior, which
> had me concerned(he seemed depressed for about 2 weeks). Knowing what I
> know about Bipolar disorder and that it runs in my family, I chose to
> speak to his doctor about my concerns at that time(last spring), who was
> hesitant to refer me to a specialist, nonetheless I insisted upon a
> referral. I could not get him in at that time, since the doctor in the
> next town refused to see him, and we did not have a psychiatrist in our
> town then.
>
> We now have one (her specialty is even child psychiatry), she works at
> our community mental health facility, who is also my own psychiatrist,
> and my prescribing physician. My sons doctor recently referred him to
> her, and yesterday was his appointment.
>
> I went to this appointment, expecting to address my sons' mood symptoms
> and my concerns about his inheriting the family propensity for this
> illness, particularly childhood onset bipolar disorder, and what I can
> and can't do about that. Like what can I do to help my son deal with
> his emotions, what signs should I look for, when to seek treatment if
> and when...., NOT to get him on medication(I am not even considering
> that as an option at this time), for ADD or anything else. I have been
> told, and have read again and again, in my research on this topic, that
> it is best to have a child seen as soon at the first sign of symptoms.
> I have suspected for sometime with my son(he is so much like I was in
> everyway-and so different from my daughter). I just wanted some
> professional advice/opinion, a professional to hear my concerns,etc.,
>
> I just can't believe what I actually got instead and I am infuriated by
> it. I am also very confused, because she is my own doctor(my new pdoc),
> and I don't want my feelings concerning this to interfere with my
> developing relationship with her in that arena(because I need her to
> treat me, she is the only pdoc nearby), right now, but perhaps that is
> being unrealistic.
>
> Anyway, my son's appt. was for an hour, and she spent the first part of
> that time talking to him, while I was in the room, most of it talking to
> me privately while he played in the waiting room, and about 3 minutes
> speaking to him privately. When asked about school, he told her he was
> homeschooling. He is kind of shy of strangers, so he was not real
> forthcoming with her, and kept saying "i don't know" a lot. During the
> time she spent alone with me talking about my son, she asked me why I
> was homeschooling my kids. I told her it is a lifestyle choice I have
> made, and something I thought about doing since Skyler was a baby.
> (It's not like something happened to make me decide this or that it was
> a sudden decision, you know?.) She kept asking me questions like what
> grade is he in(I said "he would be in 3rd grade")?, if I knew what grade
> level he was at(I said "not really" and was oviously not too concerned
> about it)?, and if we use a curriculum("no, we do not")?, and what about
> testing, etc.? I was really caught off guard by this line of
> questioning, I mean I took my son to her because of my concerns about
> him having symptoms of a mood disorder!!!??? How in the hell does this
> have to do with curriculum and testing and grade level? I am just so
> angry about this, and I feel I was discriminated against, although I am
> not sure why. She obviously doens't understand about homeschooling,
> unschooling, or my decision to do so, and I certainly can't explain that
> to her in a nutshell in less than an hour! But, I also felt
> discriminated against because of my having bipolar disorder and because
> I am a single parent. She also asked lots of questions about his
> father, etc., She asked Skyler to list all the members of his family,
> who lives in his house, etc, and then she said "what about your Dad?"
> and he said "I don't have a Dad." She seemed very concerned about this,
> but the fact is that he doesn't have a Dad, and it doens't bother him or
> me(but it did bother her, it seems she didn't like his answer). I have
> told him about his biological father as he has asked, but he is just not
> very concerned with that. I'm sure he will ask more questions as he
> matures. Once again, other than her asking for genetic purposes, I see
> no point for her concern on this matter.
>
> If you have followed me this far, please keep reading, because this is
> the important part of my story. Now, get this: by middle of our
> converstation and her questioning, she "professionally recommends" to
> me, that I enroll my son in p.s., if not full-time, then part-time,
> because she says even though kids may not want to go to school all day,
> for some kids, it is actually good for them(even if they don't want to),
> because they get to be around other kids and develop relationships with
> other adults,etc., AND because she can't really diagnose him as ADD(i
> wasn't asking her to) if he's not in school, since the way that she
> usually does that is to send forms/diagnostic tests, etc., for the
> schools/teachers. I was so shocked I could barely respond! She could
> see I was not pleased with what she had to say, and I just told her
> plain and simple, that I was not even considering putting my children in
> ps at this time, that this was not an issue at all with me. She asked
> if I ever planned to, and I told her if my kids ever decided they really
> wanted to go to school, then they would go(they definately do not want
> to now, I know this, and they know they can if they want). I also made
> it clear to her my ONLY reason for concern about "testing" is because it
> is required by law, but not until 4th grade(am I right?). She was
> trying to tell me testing/grade level, etc., was important so he could
> "graduate" from h.s.(???) and go to college. My God, who is this woman,
> and what does any of this have to do with why I took him there? I feel
> like I am in the twilight zone here or something, haha! After her
> continual questioning and focusing on this "issue", I told her my son
> reads way beyond his grade level(he can read anything he wants to read,
> and does all the time).
>
> So, I left there with her unappreciated and unasked for advice on
> school, and that is it, basicly. What a joke!
> Finally, she spoke to d.s. privately for a couple of minutes, and when
> we left I asked him what she said, he told me that she asked him if he
> thought he would like to go back to school or something to that
> affect!!!!
>
> What, if anything, should I do about this? Is this sort of thing to be
> expected from a psychiatrist? I am just so shocked. Maybe I am living
> in a bubble and this is common discrimination. Do the rest of you deal
> with this sort of nonsense? If so, how do you deal with it?
>
> Thanks to all who read this whole thing, and thanks in advance to all
> who respond. This has really upset me and I feel so alone right now.
>
> Kelly
>
> > Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/24/99 3:50:38 PM Eastern Standard Time,
kellylyn@... writes:

<< Thanks to all who read this whole thing, and thanks in advance to all
who respond. This has really upset me and I feel so alone right now.
>>

I do not have time to write much now, got to cook for tomorrow,BUT, No I
would not go back to her. I'm sorry but I would not go back for myself or
son. Yes, I have run into this and it scared me to death at the time thinking
the therapist could do something to prevent me from hsing. I had only talked
to her once but that was all I needed. I was told the same thing that a
teacher also needed to fill out forms etc. Keep looking, hopefully you can
find someone in the hs community to refer you to someone of the same mind.

Laura

Kelly Thielen

Hello,
I am on digest mode of this list, and have not been active on the list
either, for some time, due to time constraints. I am writing now to ask
for some much needed understanding and support(help?).

Something happened yesterday, that made me realize my need for support,
which will require a bit of background information, so here it is:

I live in WA state, and I have been homeschooling my 2 children(ages 8 &
6) for 2+years now. Unschooling is an informed lifestyle choice I have
made for my family. I am a very capable single mother, on a limited
income(disability). My children's father is not, and never has been
involved in their lives. They do have male role models, and their
absent biological father is not a problem or an issue in my life or my
children's at this time.

I also have Bipolar disorder(otherwise known as manic depression), a
very serious, potentially life threatening(a shocking 15-20% of
untreated bipolar sufferers commit suicide), incurable, but highly
treatable(medication called mood stabilizers, are a must for this
illness) neurobiological disorder of the brain, which affects mood,
behavior, and thoughts. It is also highly genetic and happens to run in
both sides of my family(and possibly my children's paternal line as
well). I had childhood onset type(even more highly genetic) of bipolar
disorder, as did my maternal grandfather and a maternal uncle. My
extended family, on both sides, is riddled with "mental
illness"(paternal grandmother & grandfather, my own brother & my
father). As a result of all of this, I have educated myself about
neurobioligical brain disorders(otherwise called "mental illnesses"),
their symptoms, treatment, etc., and continue to do so.

My son(age 8.5 yrs.), who is very intelligent, smart, and wonderful &
sweet, has been showing signs of A.D.H.D. since birth, basicly, nothing
for which I am too concerned about other than the fact that ADD is often
seen in children prior to onset of bipolar symptoms(a precursor sign).
Last year, I noticed some changes in my sons mood and behavior, which
had me concerned(he seemed depressed for about 2 weeks). Knowing what I
know about Bipolar disorder and that it runs in my family, I chose to
speak to his doctor about my concerns at that time(last spring), who was
hesitant to refer me to a specialist, nonetheless I insisted upon a
referral. I could not get him in at that time, since the doctor in the
next town refused to see him, and we did not have a psychiatrist in our
town then.

We now have one (her specialty is even child psychiatry), she works at
our community mental health facility, who is also my own psychiatrist,
and my prescribing physician. My sons doctor recently referred him to
her, and yesterday was his appointment.

I went to this appointment, expecting to address my sons' mood symptoms
and my concerns about his inheriting the family propensity for this
illness, particularly childhood onset bipolar disorder, and what I can
and can't do about that. Like what can I do to help my son deal with
his emotions, what signs should I look for, when to seek treatment if
and when...., NOT to get him on medication(I am not even considering
that as an option at this time), for ADD or anything else. I have been
told, and have read again and again, in my research on this topic, that
it is best to have a child seen as soon at the first sign of symptoms.
I have suspected for sometime with my son(he is so much like I was in
everyway-and so different from my daughter). I just wanted some
professional advice/opinion, a professional to hear my concerns,etc.,

I just can't believe what I actually got instead and I am infuriated by
it. I am also very confused, because she is my own doctor(my new pdoc),
and I don't want my feelings concerning this to interfere with my
developing relationship with her in that arena(because I need her to
treat me, she is the only pdoc nearby), right now, but perhaps that is
being unrealistic.

Anyway, my son's appt. was for an hour, and she spent the first part of
that time talking to him, while I was in the room, most of it talking to
me privately while he played in the waiting room, and about 3 minutes
speaking to him privately. When asked about school, he told her he was
homeschooling. He is kind of shy of strangers, so he was not real
forthcoming with her, and kept saying "i don't know" a lot. During the
time she spent alone with me talking about my son, she asked me why I
was homeschooling my kids. I told her it is a lifestyle choice I have
made, and something I thought about doing since Skyler was a baby.
(It's not like something happened to make me decide this or that it was
a sudden decision, you know?.) She kept asking me questions like what
grade is he in(I said "he would be in 3rd grade")?, if I knew what grade
level he was at(I said "not really" and was oviously not too concerned
about it)?, and if we use a curriculum("no, we do not")?, and what about
testing, etc.? I was really caught off guard by this line of
questioning, I mean I took my son to her because of my concerns about
him having symptoms of a mood disorder!!!??? How in the hell does this
have to do with curriculum and testing and grade level? I am just so
angry about this, and I feel I was discriminated against, although I am
not sure why. She obviously doens't understand about homeschooling,
unschooling, or my decision to do so, and I certainly can't explain that
to her in a nutshell in less than an hour! But, I also felt
discriminated against because of my having bipolar disorder and because
I am a single parent. She also asked lots of questions about his
father, etc., She asked Skyler to list all the members of his family,
who lives in his house, etc, and then she said "what about your Dad?"
and he said "I don't have a Dad." She seemed very concerned about this,
but the fact is that he doesn't have a Dad, and it doens't bother him or
me(but it did bother her, it seems she didn't like his answer). I have
told him about his biological father as he has asked, but he is just not
very concerned with that. I'm sure he will ask more questions as he
matures. Once again, other than her asking for genetic purposes, I see
no point for her concern on this matter.

If you have followed me this far, please keep reading, because this is
the important part of my story. Now, get this: by middle of our
converstation and her questioning, she "professionally recommends" to
me, that I enroll my son in p.s., if not full-time, then part-time,
because she says even though kids may not want to go to school all day,
for some kids, it is actually good for them(even if they don't want to),
because they get to be around other kids and develop relationships with
other adults,etc., AND because she can't really diagnose him as ADD(i
wasn't asking her to) if he's not in school, since the way that she
usually does that is to send forms/diagnostic tests, etc., for the
schools/teachers. I was so shocked I could barely respond! She could
see I was not pleased with what she had to say, and I just told her
plain and simple, that I was not even considering putting my children in
ps at this time, that this was not an issue at all with me. She asked
if I ever planned to, and I told her if my kids ever decided they really
wanted to go to school, then they would go(they definately do not want
to now, I know this, and they know they can if they want). I also made
it clear to her my ONLY reason for concern about "testing" is because it
is required by law, but not until 4th grade(am I right?). She was
trying to tell me testing/grade level, etc., was important so he could
"graduate" from h.s.(???) and go to college. My God, who is this woman,
and what does any of this have to do with why I took him there? I feel
like I am in the twilight zone here or something, haha! After her
continual questioning and focusing on this "issue", I told her my son
reads way beyond his grade level(he can read anything he wants to read,
and does all the time).

So, I left there with her unappreciated and unasked for advice on
school, and that is it, basicly. What a joke!
Finally, she spoke to d.s. privately for a couple of minutes, and when
we left I asked him what she said, he told me that she asked him if he
thought he would like to go back to school or something to that
affect!!!!

What, if anything, should I do about this? Is this sort of thing to be
expected from a psychiatrist? I am just so shocked. Maybe I am living
in a bubble and this is common discrimination. Do the rest of you deal
with this sort of nonsense? If so, how do you deal with it?

Thanks to all who read this whole thing, and thanks in advance to all
who respond. This has really upset me and I feel so alone right now.

Kelly

[email protected]

Hi Kelly,
I can certainly understand why this bothered you so much! It really makes
me mad when psychiatrists or psychologists step out of bounds to try to
impose their personal beliefs on patients and then imply that their opinions
on these issues are more valid because they are in the mental health field.
I agree with Susan that she may not let it drop if she feels strongly
about it. I hope that's not the case. What you could do is make some copies
of articles related to home/unschooling and take them in to her along with a
list of books by people like John Holt and Gatto. You could try to make the
point that although she may not personally agree with homeschooling, there
are definitely other well-thought out opinions on the matter and that her
personal opinions on this matter should not be any more valid than yours,
just as you would not have her choose your religion or lack of religion just
because she is a psychiatrist. Homeschooling is a legal and valid choice,
whether she agrees with it or not. She is not the voice of authority over
every issue in your life or in this country just because of her psychiatric
training.
I agree also that she was too focused on the Dad issue. She doesn't
sound like a very good doctor for you or your son. Is there any way you
could find another one? I don't see how your feelings about this can NOT
affect your own dealings with her and your therapy, unless she really comes
around to a much more respectful approach.
Best wishes to you and good for you for all that you're doing for your
kids and yourself! I was a single mom with my oldest and I know it's not
easy. Take care...

Lucy in Calif.

Susan and Theodore

Look there it is down there I thought that I saw "another" Susan.....
I will be hmmm let me think
Susie no no
Suzan
nope
hmmm
I will be Some other Susan
that is a good one huh?
----- Original Message -----
From: Thad Martin
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 1999 10:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] need support!!!


hi,
i would like to say without a doubt you experienced full blown discrimination from many angles and if i were you i would bone up on the state laws regarding homeschooling because she may not let it drop, despite the fact that you were the one to initiate the visit. i don't mean to promote fear or sound paranoid but with all the fear that's flying around the country it may not be a bad idea to be fully prepared for a visit from some sort of official because in some states a dr must report situation which they feel are abusive and if she's so anti homeschooling she may interpret your son's moodiness as signs of something else. i'm not versed on the laws of washington and here in texas we have it 'easy' but it's better to be prepared than getting caught off guard. if you don't know the laws or where to find them i would be happy to locate and email them to you. i'm so sorry that you got the exact opposite of help. good luck to you.

as far as your son goes there's been a book which has been talked about a lot on tv (i think on oprah and other shows) i think it's entitled real boys personally i have not read it but from what i understand to get boys talking you need to do it in the context of doing something i.e. drawing, fishing, playing basketball etc. maybe finding a hobby or an activity he really enjoys might help him find some way to express himself so both you and he can get a better understanding of his nature. you may want to check out the site heartmath.org it's kind of interesting. just a thought. i've had no experience with hereditary mental illness but if you can get him talking it may lead both of you to a better place.

-susan
austin,tx
thad (husband)
rene' (4)

Kelly Thielen wrote:

From: Kelly Thielen <kellylyn@...>
Hello,
I am on digest mode of this list, and have not been active on the list
either, for some time, due to time constraints. I am writing now to ask
for some much needed understanding and support(help?).

Something happened yesterday, that made me realize my need for support,
which will require a bit of background information, so here it is:

I live in WA state, and I have been homeschooling my 2 children(ages 8 &
6) for 2+years now. Unschooling is an informed lifestyle choice I have
made for my family. I am a very capable single mother, on a limited
income(disability). My children's father is not, and never has been
involved in their lives. They do have male role models, and their
absent biological father is not a problem or an issue in my life or my
children's at this time.

I also have Bipolar disorder(otherwise known as manic depression), a
very serious, potentially life threatening(a shocking 15-20% of
untreated bipolar sufferers commit suicide), incurable, but highly
treatable(medication called mood stabilizers, are a must for this
illness) neurobiological disorder of the brain, which affects mood,
behavior, and thoughts. It is also highly genetic and happens to run in
both sides of my family(and possibly my children's paternal line as
well). I had childhood onset type(even more highly genetic) of bipolar
disorder, as did my maternal grandfather and a maternal uncle. My
extended family, on both sides, is riddled with "mental
illness"(paternal grandmother & grandfather, my own brother & my
father). As a result of all of this, I have educated myself about
neurobioligical brain disorders(otherwise called "mental illnesses"),
their symptoms, treatment, etc., and continue to do so.

My son(age 8.5 yrs.), who is very intelligent, smart, and wonderful &
sweet, has been showing signs of A.D.H.D. since birth, basicly, nothing
for which I am too concerned about other than the fact that ADD is often
seen in children prior to onset of bipolar symptoms(a precursor sign).
Last year, I noticed some changes in my sons mood and behavior, which
had me concerned(he seemed depressed for about 2 weeks). Knowing what I
know about Bipolar disorder and that it runs in my family, I chose to
speak to his doctor about my concerns at that time(last spring), who was
hesitant to refer me to a specialist, nonetheless I insisted upon a
referral. I could not get him in at that time, since the doctor in the
next town refused to see him, and we did not have a psychiatrist in our
town then.

We now have one (her specialty is even child psychiatry), she works at
our community mental health facility, who is also my own psychiatrist,
and my prescribing physician. My sons doctor recently referred him to
her, and yesterday was his appointment.

I went to this appointment, expecting to address my sons' mood symptoms
and my concerns about his inheriting the family propensity for this
illness, particularly childhood onset bipolar disorder, and what I can
and can't do about that. Like what can I do to help my son deal with
his emotions, what signs should I look for, when to seek treatment if
and when...., NOT to get him on medication(I am not even considering
that as an option at this time), for ADD or anything else. I have been
told, and have read again and again, in my research on this topic, that
it is best to have a child seen as soon at the first sign of symptoms.
I have suspected for sometime with my son(he is so much like I was in
everyway-and so different from my daughter). I just wanted some
professional advice/opinion, a professional to hear my concerns,etc.,

I just can't believe what I actually got instead and I am infuriated by
it. I am also very confused, because she is my own doctor(my new pdoc),
and I don't want my feelings concerning this to interfere with my
developing relationship with her in that arena(because I need her to
treat me, she is the only pdoc nearby), right now, but perhaps that is
being unrealistic.

Anyway, my son's appt. was for an hour, and she spent the first part of
that time talking to him, while I was in the room, most of it talking to
me privately while he played in the waiting room, and about 3 minutes
speaking to him privately. When asked about school, he told her he was
homeschooling. He is kind of shy of strangers, so he was not real
forthcoming with her, and kept saying "i don't know" a lot. During the
time she spent alone with me talking about my son, she asked me why I
was homeschooling my kids. I told her it is a lifestyle choice I have
made, and something I thought about doing since Skyler was a baby.
(It's not like something happened to make me decide this or that it was
a sudden decision, you know?.) She kept asking me questions like what
grade is he in(I said "he would be in 3rd grade")?, if I knew what grade
level he was at(I said "not really" and was oviously not too concerned
about it)?, and if we use a curriculum("no, we do not")?, and what about
testing, etc.? I was really caught off guard by this line of
questioning, I mean I took my son to her because of my concerns about
him having symptoms of a mood disorder!!!??? How in the hell does this
have to do with curriculum and testing and grade level? I am just so
angry about this, and I feel I was discriminated against, although I am
not sure why. She obviously doens't understand about homeschooling,
unschooling, or my decision to do so, and I certainly can't explain that
to her in a nutshell in less than an hour! But, I also felt
discriminated against because of my having bipolar disorder and because
I am a single parent. She also asked lots of questions about his
father, etc., She asked Skyler to list all the members of his family,
who lives in his house, etc, and then she said "what about your Dad?"
and he said "I don't have a Dad." She seemed very concerned about this,
but the fact is that he doesn't have a Dad, and it doens't bother him or
me(but it did bother her, it seems she didn't like his answer). I have
told him about his biological father as he has asked, but he is just not
very concerned with that. I'm sure he will ask more questions as he
matures. Once again, other than her asking for genetic purposes, I see
no point for her concern on this matter.

If you have followed me this far, please keep reading, because this is
the important part of my story. Now, get this: by middle of our
converstation and her questioning, she "professionally recommends" to
me, that I enroll my son in p.s., if not full-time, then part-time,
because she says even though kids may not want to go to school all day,
for some kids, it is actually good for them(even if they don't want to),
because they get to be around other kids and develop relationships with
other adults,etc., AND because she can't really diagnose him as ADD(i
wasn't asking her to) if he's not in school, since the way that she
usually does that is to send forms/diagnostic tests, etc., for the
schools/teachers. I was so shocked I could barely respond! She could
see I was not pleased with what she had to say, and I just told her
plain and simple, that I was not even considering putting my children in
ps at this time, that this was not an issue at all with me. She asked
if I ever planned to, and I told her if my kids ever decided they really
wanted to go to school, then they would go(they definately do not want
to now, I know this, and they know they can if they want). I also made
it clear to her my ONLY reason for concern about "testing" is because it
is required by law, but not until 4th grade(am I right?). She was
trying to tell me testing/grade level, etc., was important so he could
"graduate" from h.s.(???) and go to college. My God, who is this woman,
and what does any of this have to do with why I took him there? I feel
like I am in the twilight zone here or something, haha! After her
continual questioning and focusing on this "issue", I told her my son
reads way beyond his grade level(he can read anything he wants to read,
and does all the time).

So, I left there with her unappreciated and unasked for advice on
school, and that is it, basicly. What a joke!
Finally, she spoke to d.s. privately for a couple of minutes, and when
we left I asked him what she said, he told me that she asked him if he
thought he would like to go back to school or something to that
affect!!!!

What, if anything, should I do about this? Is this sort of thing to be
expected from a psychiatrist? I am just so shocked. Maybe I am living
in a bubble and this is common discrimination. Do the rest of you deal
with this sort of nonsense? If so, how do you deal with it?

Thanks to all who read this whole thing, and thanks in advance to all
who respond. This has really upset me and I feel so alone right now.

Kelly


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In a message dated 11/24/1999 3:50:30 PM Eastern Standard Time,
kellylyn@... writes:

<< hanks to all who read this whole thing, and thanks in advance to all
who respond. This has really upset me and I feel so alone right now.

Kelly
>>

Well, Kelly, you're not alone. :-) My son, Adam's, psychologist had pretty
much the same attitude. Fortunately for me, Adam had been in ps until 6th
grade and hospitalized in 5th grade, and it was obvious that the ps school
stress was very detrimental to his mental health. Also, since he's been
homeschooled, he has not required any medication. Of course, that didn't
stop her from inquiring. She finally dropped the ps idea, and began
suggesting various social activities. Well, we finally did get Adam into a
wonderful church youth group where he feels accepted and has even made
friends.

It's kind of funny, but when you are connected to so many home schoolers, you
forget that the world at large doesn't understand or approve.

Love,
Jill

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In a message dated 11/24/99 4:51:01 PM Eastern Standard Time,
tmartin@... writes:

<< i would like to say without a doubt you experienced full blown
discrimination from many angles and if i were you i would bone up on the
state laws regarding homeschooling because she may not let it drop, >>


What this all boils down to is that there is still very much the
implication that there is but one proper way to educate children and ours is
not it. That unless one chooses to use methods that can be studied and
approved of by some outside party ones methods are unsound. Even if the
success of the student disproves the theory that education only takes place
using approved of curricula. Scary.

Laura