Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] I'm a yeller
[email protected]
Ren,
Thank you!
Y'all, we had such a good time with Ren and her kids (and stayed up WAAAY too
late both nights!). And Ren really DOES chase Jalen all over creation! <g> I
wish you all could experience a weekend like that. Almost 200 unschoolers
under one roof---So cool! Our little utopia.
Plan on next year! <G>
Kelly
I can tell you exactly what Kelly does.
I lived with her for a weekend, and seen her under a LOT of stress, so I
think I gathered a fairly good idea of how she operates.
Yes, she yells at people that get on a list, unaware of it's feel and start
advocating things that the majority have worked hard and long to rid their
lives of.
But with her children?
She is kind, gentle, TRULY respectful and all this on a weekend where she had
to have been stressed to the max.
Her children are interesting individuals that treated me and my children just
like they would treat any other person, as a friend.
Duncan asked me to get him cereal in the morning, without hesitation, because
adults have always treated him with respect and he does not assume they are
the enemy.
When he asked Kelly for something, she responded with love, kindness and
empathy.
Thank you!
Y'all, we had such a good time with Ren and her kids (and stayed up WAAAY too
late both nights!). And Ren really DOES chase Jalen all over creation! <g> I
wish you all could experience a weekend like that. Almost 200 unschoolers
under one roof---So cool! Our little utopia.
Plan on next year! <G>
Kelly
I can tell you exactly what Kelly does.
I lived with her for a weekend, and seen her under a LOT of stress, so I
think I gathered a fairly good idea of how she operates.
Yes, she yells at people that get on a list, unaware of it's feel and start
advocating things that the majority have worked hard and long to rid their
lives of.
But with her children?
She is kind, gentle, TRULY respectful and all this on a weekend where she had
to have been stressed to the max.
Her children are interesting individuals that treated me and my children just
like they would treat any other person, as a friend.
Duncan asked me to get him cereal in the morning, without hesitation, because
adults have always treated him with respect and he does not assume they are
the enemy.
When he asked Kelly for something, she responded with love, kindness and
empathy.
Mike Ebbers
That's great to hear.
Mike
Mike
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
> Ren,
>Thank you!
>Y'all, we had such a good time with Ren and her kids (and stayed up
>WAAAY too late both nights!). And Ren really DOES chase Jalen all
>over creation! <g> I wish you all could experience a weekend like
>that. Almost 200 unschoolers under one roof---So cool! Our little
>utopia. Plan on next year! <G>
> Kelly
>
> I can tell you exactly what Kelly does.I lived with her for a
>weekend, and seen her under a LOT of stress, so I think I gathered a
>fairly good idea of how she operates. Yes, she yells at people that
>get on a list, unaware of it's feel and start advocating things that
>the majority have worked hard and long to rid their lives of.
> But with her children? She is kind, gentle, TRULY respectful and
>all this on a weekend where she had to have been stressed to the max.
>Ren
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/24/2002 5:58:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
heat.
The problem is:
This is one of the three places in the world (and for a brief few days, there
was a fourth, the conference) where the unschooling utopia IS. There actually
is a lot of tolerance and a lot of generosity and a lot of patience here. I'd
say more than anywhere else that's group-related. Our homes are/can be that
tolerant and generous and patient on a daily basis.
There is not a group anywhere, in my opinion, that is more willing to offer
help and suggestions and a path to gentle parenting and unschooling. And
'though a few may disagree, the main posters/lurkers on this list truly
believe that unschooling is a LIFESTYLE (not yelling, just emphasizing! <g>),
NOT just an educational choice. Because, here, LIFE is educational. How can a
child REALLY understand that HIS choices are the right choices if his choices
are constantly limited? How can HE show respect until he receives respect?
How can HE decide what to believe if it's all laid out in black and white
(and red) in front of him? Unschooling---the lifestyle---is understanding
that our choices define Who We Really Are. Educationally and Personally.
But when folks come in---brand spanking <g> new to the group---and start
insisting that a parent's right outweighs that of a child, that choices
should be limited, that spanking's ok because it's legal, that politics
should enter every conversation, or that Christianity is the ONLY way, then
they're stepping on too many toes. We'll try for a few dozen posts to get our
point (and the point of this LIST) across; but after that, if the newbie
won't let it rest, it can, and occasionally does, come to verbal blows.
There are countless people that have changed their parenting style by reading
here daily (me included) because the regulars here gently and respectfully
guide and suggest and openly discuss their ideas, roadblocks, and successes.
We are incredibly tolerant (some more than others <g>) of questions and
challenges from newbies. But I'd say few, if any, of us are tolerant of
belittling children or arguing for the sake of arguing. Maybe belittling
children and arguing are common in the homes of newbies, so they don't see it
as offensive. HERE, though, it comes across as inconsiderate and totally
disrepectful of the list.
So I apologize for any inconsiderate remarks I made. I hope that one day the
newbies will (after stepping back, quietly reading, and digesting what they
read) come to see the possibilities that this list tries to provide without
arguing every point.
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> >> Tolerance is often defined with respect to those who areI'm guessing that this is directed at me. I'm more than willing to take that
> >>different than we are. But the true test is being tolerant of those
> >>we disagree with. (As long as they aren't harming others.)
> >
> > Thank you, Joyce.
> > I used to get angry when others were sarcastic or belittling, now I
> just get sad because it means they don't know (maybe don't want to
> know) ME. I'm even more sad when I see those who share some of my
> beliefs behaving the same way, PEOPLE are more important than an urge
> to prove one is superior.
> > Kris
> I can empathize. Though currently I feel both anger and sadness :-p
> when people are sarcastic, I would like to come to the point of
> feeling only sad, as you describe. Especially since I'm trying to
> teach my children this outlook (not to lash back angrily in response
> to being belittled).
> Mike
heat.
The problem is:
This is one of the three places in the world (and for a brief few days, there
was a fourth, the conference) where the unschooling utopia IS. There actually
is a lot of tolerance and a lot of generosity and a lot of patience here. I'd
say more than anywhere else that's group-related. Our homes are/can be that
tolerant and generous and patient on a daily basis.
There is not a group anywhere, in my opinion, that is more willing to offer
help and suggestions and a path to gentle parenting and unschooling. And
'though a few may disagree, the main posters/lurkers on this list truly
believe that unschooling is a LIFESTYLE (not yelling, just emphasizing! <g>),
NOT just an educational choice. Because, here, LIFE is educational. How can a
child REALLY understand that HIS choices are the right choices if his choices
are constantly limited? How can HE show respect until he receives respect?
How can HE decide what to believe if it's all laid out in black and white
(and red) in front of him? Unschooling---the lifestyle---is understanding
that our choices define Who We Really Are. Educationally and Personally.
But when folks come in---brand spanking <g> new to the group---and start
insisting that a parent's right outweighs that of a child, that choices
should be limited, that spanking's ok because it's legal, that politics
should enter every conversation, or that Christianity is the ONLY way, then
they're stepping on too many toes. We'll try for a few dozen posts to get our
point (and the point of this LIST) across; but after that, if the newbie
won't let it rest, it can, and occasionally does, come to verbal blows.
There are countless people that have changed their parenting style by reading
here daily (me included) because the regulars here gently and respectfully
guide and suggest and openly discuss their ideas, roadblocks, and successes.
We are incredibly tolerant (some more than others <g>) of questions and
challenges from newbies. But I'd say few, if any, of us are tolerant of
belittling children or arguing for the sake of arguing. Maybe belittling
children and arguing are common in the homes of newbies, so they don't see it
as offensive. HERE, though, it comes across as inconsiderate and totally
disrepectful of the list.
So I apologize for any inconsiderate remarks I made. I hope that one day the
newbies will (after stepping back, quietly reading, and digesting what they
read) come to see the possibilities that this list tries to provide without
arguing every point.
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mike Ebbers
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
when posting and don't have to apologize.
Mike
> So I apologize for any inconsiderate remarks I made.This shows you have a big heart, especially since we are isolated
> Kelly
when posting and don't have to apologize.
Mike
Ingrid Bauer/Jean-Claude Catry
<<<There is not a group anywhere, in my opinion, that is more willing to offer
help and suggestions and a path to gentle parenting and unschooling.
Yay! that's just what I'm looking for!
And having been on this list now for less than 24 hours (wow, there's a lot of mail!!), I have to say I feel really excited and confident that being here will help meet my needs for companionship, support, challenge, growth, humour, and acceptance.
Do you do intros here? Here's mine: I'm ingrid (40), live with my French partner (44) and three children (ds 17yo, ds 5.5yo and dd 17 months) on an island in British Columbia, Canada. WE are a trilingual/multicultural family (French, German, English). My younger son was just offically registered this year for the first time as a "homeschooler" --i'm grateful for the freedom in this province which means no testing, evalutions or interference whatsoever.
The oldest has been unschooled much of his life but also private schooled, alternative schooled and has presently decided to quit public highschool after quasi-attending for a couple of years. Concerns i had regarding him are the reason that prompted me to find this list--i may post about that soon. But as I read today I realise just how incredibly deep are my needs for like-minded folks--not just people who love and accept me as I am (which I have plenty of) but folks who *really* share my deepest principles and convictions about parenting and life and who will challenge and learn with me.
Respectful parenting and interpersonal communication are my passions. I've been studying these since childhood and used to know a lot about them :-). Almost daily i am discovering how little I truly know, how often i screw up (and my teen confirms this :-)), how much parenting is really mostly about *me* growing, how much i still want to learn about practising respect and compassion. I'm excited about that journey!
Though I find myself having less and less to write these days too, language and writing are my medium. I work at home as a freelance writer and have written and self-published a book on Natural Infant Hygiene (or Elimination Communication--both phrases I coined to refer to an age-old concept) about tuning in to and meeting an infant's elimination needs without relying on diapers. (I have a website at www.natural-wisdom.com ) My dh works at home too, mostly outdoors.
I'm presently enthusiastically studying and trying to put into practice the work of Marshall Rosenberg on Compassionate Communication (anybody here familiar with it? www.nonviolentcommunication.com ) Other family interests include anything to do with nature and our "natural" way of being, raw paleolithic nutrition (after 16 years as a vegetarian and 2 years as a raw vegan, wow! talk about a major paradigm shift!), reading, skateboarding, gardening, natural animal husbandry, engaged spirituality, acrobatics, travel, community, sustainable living, music (from early music and classical to hip-hop and dj'ing), taking things out of boixes and putting them back in, mountain horse-trekking, and more!
I look forward to taking part here.
warmly,
ingrid
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
help and suggestions and a path to gentle parenting and unschooling.
Yay! that's just what I'm looking for!
And having been on this list now for less than 24 hours (wow, there's a lot of mail!!), I have to say I feel really excited and confident that being here will help meet my needs for companionship, support, challenge, growth, humour, and acceptance.
Do you do intros here? Here's mine: I'm ingrid (40), live with my French partner (44) and three children (ds 17yo, ds 5.5yo and dd 17 months) on an island in British Columbia, Canada. WE are a trilingual/multicultural family (French, German, English). My younger son was just offically registered this year for the first time as a "homeschooler" --i'm grateful for the freedom in this province which means no testing, evalutions or interference whatsoever.
The oldest has been unschooled much of his life but also private schooled, alternative schooled and has presently decided to quit public highschool after quasi-attending for a couple of years. Concerns i had regarding him are the reason that prompted me to find this list--i may post about that soon. But as I read today I realise just how incredibly deep are my needs for like-minded folks--not just people who love and accept me as I am (which I have plenty of) but folks who *really* share my deepest principles and convictions about parenting and life and who will challenge and learn with me.
Respectful parenting and interpersonal communication are my passions. I've been studying these since childhood and used to know a lot about them :-). Almost daily i am discovering how little I truly know, how often i screw up (and my teen confirms this :-)), how much parenting is really mostly about *me* growing, how much i still want to learn about practising respect and compassion. I'm excited about that journey!
Though I find myself having less and less to write these days too, language and writing are my medium. I work at home as a freelance writer and have written and self-published a book on Natural Infant Hygiene (or Elimination Communication--both phrases I coined to refer to an age-old concept) about tuning in to and meeting an infant's elimination needs without relying on diapers. (I have a website at www.natural-wisdom.com ) My dh works at home too, mostly outdoors.
I'm presently enthusiastically studying and trying to put into practice the work of Marshall Rosenberg on Compassionate Communication (anybody here familiar with it? www.nonviolentcommunication.com ) Other family interests include anything to do with nature and our "natural" way of being, raw paleolithic nutrition (after 16 years as a vegetarian and 2 years as a raw vegan, wow! talk about a major paradigm shift!), reading, skateboarding, gardening, natural animal husbandry, engaged spirituality, acrobatics, travel, community, sustainable living, music (from early music and classical to hip-hop and dj'ing), taking things out of boixes and putting them back in, mountain horse-trekking, and more!
I look forward to taking part here.
warmly,
ingrid
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Todd M.
At 01:21 PM 10/24/02 -0700, you wrote:
Merry meet, Ingrid :) Hope you enjoy the list :)
Todd
"A day without sunshine is, like, Night"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>I look forward to taking part here.==
>warmly,
>ingrid
Merry meet, Ingrid :) Hope you enjoy the list :)
Todd
"A day without sunshine is, like, Night"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
Barb Eaton
Kelly,
That's really great news. I'll start putting a little back now that I
know for sure. We had a great time. I'm going to have to hang with you all
for the food aspect. I just wasn't too great at finding stuff. McD not being
open sunday morning was an awful disappointment. LOL!
Barb E
on 10/23/02 7:07 PM, kbcdlovejo@... at kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
That's really great news. I'll start putting a little back now that I
know for sure. We had a great time. I'm going to have to hang with you all
for the food aspect. I just wasn't too great at finding stuff. McD not being
open sunday morning was an awful disappointment. LOL!
Barb E
on 10/23/02 7:07 PM, kbcdlovejo@... at kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> Ren,
>
> Thank you!
>
> Y'all, we had such a good time with Ren and her kids (and stayed up WAAAY too
> late both nights!). And Ren really DOES chase Jalen all over creation! <g> I
> wish you all could experience a weekend like that. Almost 200 unschoolers
> under one roof---So cool! Our little utopia.
>
> Plan on next year! <G>
>
> Kelly