Pam Hartley

----------
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2464
Date: Wed, Oct 9, 2002, 9:49 AM


Why is the word "lazy" a negative word to you? Is it not possible for you to
think that it may not be a negative, but a positive or even just an
indifferent, word to others? If not, why not? What about other words? Don't
you think there are words out there that mean totally different things to
different people? Why shouldn't people have the freedom to look at words any
way they want to?
----------


Lazy in this society in the language of our time is a negative word. If you
tell your boss or your neighbor, "you're lazy", he's not going to ask you,
"do you mean that as a negative, or a positive?"

You can't really be saying you think we should all use whatever words we
feel the urge to, without regard to their currently accepted definitions? I
should feel free to toss around racial slurs and perhaps call my daughters
sluts, as long as I say it with a smile? And when my daughters repeat these
words to label others, smiling away, the consequences are not my fault?

The poster who asked what happens when the siblings start calling the one
child "lazy" has a very valid point. And when they call people outside the
family, "lazy"?

Lazy has a definition. It can't and doesn't mean, in general society,
whatever you want it to. I will also wager real money that in your head it
means, "slower than I would like him to be". If it did not mean that, it
would not come into your head. The words in your head were you comfortable
with your son's speed would be more along the lines of, "he's so relaxed;
he's wonderfully introspective; he really takes his time about things
instead of haring off all over the place."

If you think your child is not picking up on the negative meaning just
because you smile when you say it, I think you're wrong. If you started to
apply positive thoughts about his moving more slowly than the rest of the
bipeds in the household, I hope you'd find the word "lazy" would suddenly
leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Pam

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

marji

At 10:28 10/9/02 -0700, Pam wrote:
>Lazy in this society in the language of our time is a negative word. If you
>tell your boss or your neighbor, "you're lazy", he's not going to ask you,
>"do you mean that as a negative, or a positive?"
>
>You can't really be saying you think we should all use whatever words we
>feel the urge to, without regard to their currently accepted definitions? I
>should feel free to toss around racial slurs and perhaps call my daughters
>sluts, as long as I say it with a smile? And when my daughters repeat these
>words to label others, smiling away, the consequences are not my fault?

My son and I had an interesting conversation the other day. Someone had
mentioned to him that his middle finger was a bad finger. I told him that
he had no bad fingers; all his fingers were only fingers and there were no
bad ones. But, I told him that when you wave your hand at someone you
don't have to say anything else for them to know that you're saying hello
or goodbye. I told him that in our society, holding up your middle finger
all by itself is a symbol for other people to know that you're saying
something really mean to them, whether you have a smile on your face or
not. Communication is like that; we have symbols and symbols have meanings
and everyone agrees to honor these definitions. I told my son that if he
tried it out to see what would happen, he could get himself in a heap of
trouble! (I'm glad we had that little conversation!)

Marji


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Myranda

Hmmm, ok thanks! I tried to look it up in my dictionary - AND IT'S NOT THERE!!!! Weird. So I looked it up online: 1 a : disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous b : encouraging inactivity or indolence <a lazy summer day>
2 : moving slowly
3 : DROOPY, LAX <a rabbit with lazy ears>
4 : placed on its side <lazy E livestock brand>
5 : not rigorous or strict <lazy scholarship>

None of these seem negative at all to me, rather they are descriptive. But I do respect others' opinions that it is negative to them, and I will be sure and work it into a conversation with the boys that some people may be insulted if the word is said to them.

And, yes they do call each other by nicknames, if that's what you mean. If something bothers them, they ask the other to stop, and it is stopped immediately. No problems.

I have nothing but positive thoughts about the rate he chooses to move/learn/do. I have no desire to hurry him up, he's perfect the way he is, as are all my children.
Myranda

From: Pam Hartley
Lazy in this society in the language of our time is a negative word. If you
tell your boss or your neighbor, "you're lazy", he's not going to ask you,
"do you mean that as a negative, or a positive?"

You can't really be saying you think we should all use whatever words we
feel the urge to, without regard to their currently accepted definitions? I
should feel free to toss around racial slurs and perhaps call my daughters
sluts, as long as I say it with a smile? And when my daughters repeat these
words to label others, smiling away, the consequences are not my fault?

The poster who asked what happens when the siblings start calling the one
child "lazy" has a very valid point. And when they call people outside the
family, "lazy"?

Lazy has a definition. It can't and doesn't mean, in general society,
whatever you want it to. I will also wager real money that in your head it
means, "slower than I would like him to be". If it did not mean that, it
would not come into your head. The words in your head were you comfortable
with your son's speed would be more along the lines of, "he's so relaxed;
he's wonderfully introspective; he really takes his time about things
instead of haring off all over the place."

If you think your child is not picking up on the negative meaning just
because you smile when you say it, I think you're wrong. If you started to
apply positive thoughts about his moving more slowly than the rest of the
bipeds in the household, I hope you'd find the word "lazy" would suddenly
leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Pam

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT





~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]