[email protected]

In a message dated 10/3/02 3:56:55 PM, myrandab@... writes:

<< Wonderful!!! I'm not going to be able to make it though. :*( We just
don't have the money right now. I live close by, and will hopefully be able
to drop in to meet some folks, though! >>

There might not be another conference like that there.
It is the first of its kind ever in that part of the country, for MANY states
around.

You should borrow the money, or sell something, and GO to the conference, and
be glad for the rest of your life. I'm serious!! Every time you make a
payment on your bank loan you can remember all the things you heard and
learned.

It's way cheaper than buying one year's curriculum. The people who make it
easy for you to homeschool without buying a curriculum could use being
supported to the point that they can continue to make it easier for OTHERS to
do so.

Someone wrote to Kelly and said the rates wouldn't be so high if the speakers
would charge less.

I can't charge less than nothing. I also can't afford to fly myself to SC,
so the transportation and room are my "payment." It will cost me money to
eat on the way and back, and some of the stuff we do there will cost money.
I'll be away from my family for six days (Marty's going with me), and I'm
doing it because I like to help other people unschool.

I got paid to speak in Sacramento, and turned around and spent every bit of
that on flying Holly to the conference with me.

People aren't getting rich from speaking about unschooling, that is a
certainty.

I don't think people should let great opportunities go by.

Sandra

Myranda

I understand, Sandra. SOS is going to try to make this a yearly event here, though, so I'm hoping.

I don't like saying much about our financial status, but I will explain a little so that you do not think I'm just balking at the expense. I really think it is a very reasonable fee.

After paying rent, we have right at $450 left for the month. That pays the utilities, and buys the groceries for our family of 5, and that's it. Our only vehicle was repo'ed this past Saturday. In the past few months, I've sold almost all of my clothes and the kids old clothes to be able to buy them new clothes for this coming winter. We spend every other Sunday selling for my parents at the flea markets and make about $70 a month on that. This pays for our pets' food and for things like shampoo and toilet paper, and occasionally a treat like a pork roast. We don't spend money on "extras" like cable TV - even my computer and internet service were and are free.

Please understand, I'm not trying to duck out of spending money or of showing my support. I've volunteered to help stuff the goody bags for the conference, and I've been telling everyone I know about it, and have had at least 5 families sign up because I told them about it.
Myranda


There might not be another conference like that there.
It is the first of its kind ever in that part of the country, for MANY states
around.

You should borrow the money, or sell something, and GO to the conference, and
be glad for the rest of your life. I'm serious!! Every time you make a
payment on your bank loan you can remember all the things you heard and
learned.

It's way cheaper than buying one year's curriculum. The people who make it
easy for you to homeschool without buying a curriculum could use being
supported to the point that they can continue to make it easier for OTHERS to
do so.

Someone wrote to Kelly and said the rates wouldn't be so high if the speakers
would charge less.

I can't charge less than nothing. I also can't afford to fly myself to SC,
so the transportation and room are my "payment." It will cost me money to
eat on the way and back, and some of the stuff we do there will cost money.
I'll be away from my family for six days (Marty's going with me), and I'm
doing it because I like to help other people unschool.

I got paid to speak in Sacramento, and turned around and spent every bit of
that on flying Holly to the conference with me.

People aren't getting rich from speaking about unschooling, that is a
certainty.

I don't think people should let great opportunities go by.

Sandra

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karin

Do you mean that you live in SC and you're not able to go to the conference
because of financial strains? That seems so cruel! Maybe it's possible to
have a fund or program set up so that certain people who need a little
"help" getting in the door can do so. I know I would donate. I hope you can
find a way to go.

Karin



> I understand, Sandra. SOS is going to try to make this a yearly event
here, though, so I'm hoping.
>
> I don't like saying much about our financial status, but I will explain a
little so that you do not think I'm just balking at the expense. I really
think it is a very reasonable fee.
>
> After paying rent, we have right at $450 left for the month. That pays the
utilities, and buys the groceries for our family of 5, and that's it. Our
only vehicle was repo'ed this past Saturday. In the past few months, I've
sold almost all of my clothes and the kids old clothes to be able to buy
them new clothes for this coming winter. We spend every other Sunday selling
for my parents at the flea markets and make about $70 a month on that. This
pays for our pets' food and for things like shampoo and toilet paper, and
occasionally a treat like a pork roast. We don't spend money on "extras"
like cable TV - even my computer and internet service were and are free.
>
> Please understand, I'm not trying to duck out of spending money or of
showing my support. I've volunteered to help stuff the goody bags for the
conference, and I've been telling everyone I know about it, and have had at
least 5 families sign up because I told them about it.
> Myranda
>
>
> There might not be another conference like that there.
> It is the first of its kind ever in that part of the country, for MANY
states
> around.
>
> You should borrow the money, or sell something, and GO to the
conference, and
> be glad for the rest of your life. I'm serious!! Every time you make a
> payment on your bank loan you can remember all the things you heard and
> learned.
>
> It's way cheaper than buying one year's curriculum. The people who make
it
> easy for you to homeschool without buying a curriculum could use being
> supported to the point that they can continue to make it easier for
OTHERS to
> do so.
>
> Someone wrote to Kelly and said the rates wouldn't be so high if the
speakers
> would charge less.
>
> I can't charge less than nothing. I also can't afford to fly myself to
SC,
> so the transportation and room are my "payment." It will cost me money
to
> eat on the way and back, and some of the stuff we do there will cost
money.
> I'll be away from my family for six days (Marty's going with me), and
I'm
> doing it because I like to help other people unschool.
>
> I got paid to speak in Sacramento, and turned around and spent every bit
of
> that on flying Holly to the conference with me.
>
> People aren't getting rich from speaking about unschooling, that is a
> certainty.
>
> I don't think people should let great opportunities go by.
>
> Sandra
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
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an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
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Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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>
>

Myranda

Yes, I live about a half hour away from the conference site. Oh goodness, I know I'd never be able to go and hold my head up if I didn't pay my own way!!! Things will get better, and I'm just going to hope they'll do the same thing again next year like they're planning to.
Myranda
Do you mean that you live in SC and you're not able to go to the conference
because of financial strains? That seems so cruel! Maybe it's possible to
have a fund or program set up so that certain people who need a little
"help" getting in the door can do so. I know I would donate. I hope you can
find a way to go.

Karin




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

marji

At 10:14 10/7/02 -0700, Karin wrote:
>Do you mean that you live in SC and you're not able to go to the conference
>because of financial strains? That seems so cruel! Maybe it's possible to
>have a fund or program set up so that certain people who need a little
>"help" getting in the door can do so. I know I would donate. I hope you can
>find a way to go.
>
>Karin

Me, too, Karin. I'm all for a scholarship of sorts to help folks go to the
conference. Money is a pretty tricky thing for our family, too, these
days, but I'm thinking if lots of people kicked in a little, it'd allow
someone to go who could really benefit, etc., etc. The conference itself
is, I think, very reasonably priced. It's the hotel and the food and the
travel all that stuff that's so hard to afford.

Anyway, I'd be delighted to chip in to help Myranda go, if that would feel
okay for Myranda.

Blessings,

Marji

P.S. to Myranda. I know a lot about money troubles, and I also know a lot
about being the beneficiary of other peoples' generosity. during hard
times. I have had a very hard time accepting help from people, but I
realized that the only way to repay kindnesses like that is to turn around
and help other people when they need it and want it. That is what
community is all about, and the Internet has created these strangely
dispersed communities of like-minded people. So, if there were some way to
set up a fund to help you go to the conference, I hope you would be able to
see it as a sort of barn-raising kind of community thing. (I don't know if
I'm making any sense at all; more stream-of-consciousness, muttered
ramblings from a sleep-deprived mom!)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Myranda

Oh, gosh, seriously, I couldn't accept something like that!!! I wouldn't feel right, and I know DH would have an absolute duck fit! That may be hyprocritical of me, because I'm usually the first to offer help, money or material or physical, to anyone who needs it, but I don't know, I just wouldn't feel right at all!!!! It's so sweet of you guys to even think of it though! ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Myranda
Me, too, Karin. I'm all for a scholarship of sorts to help folks go to the
conference. Money is a pretty tricky thing for our family, too, these
days, but I'm thinking if lots of people kicked in a little, it'd allow
someone to go who could really benefit, etc., etc. The conference itself
is, I think, very reasonably priced. It's the hotel and the food and the
travel all that stuff that's so hard to afford.

Anyway, I'd be delighted to chip in to help Myranda go, if that would feel
okay for Myranda.

Blessings,

Marji

P.S. to Myranda. I know a lot about money troubles, and I also know a lot
about being the beneficiary of other peoples' generosity. during hard
times. I have had a very hard time accepting help from people, but I
realized that the only way to repay kindnesses like that is to turn around
and help other people when they need it and want it. That is what
community is all about, and the Internet has created these strangely
dispersed communities of like-minded people. So, if there were some way to
set up a fund to help you go to the conference, I hope you would be able to
see it as a sort of barn-raising kind of community thing. (I don't know if
I'm making any sense at all; more stream-of-consciousness, muttered
ramblings from a sleep-deprived mom!)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Having a car repossessed is a BIG ONE!!!

But the conference is to be a big one too! I bet something can be worked out
if you're willing.


<< Oh, gosh, seriously, I couldn't accept something like that!!! I wouldn't
feel right, and I know DH would have an absolute duck fit! That may be
hyprocritical of me, because I'm usually the first to offer help, money or
material or physical, to anyone who needs it, but I don't know, I just
wouldn't feel right at all!!!! >>

I used to feel that way about other people helping me. I got over it
somewhat (not completely) when they not only pointed out the ways in which I
had helped other people, but brought me some literature to point out to me
that I was following a big, long, known patterns of adult children of
alcoholics and it wasn't really to my advantage to continue.

I know this might not apply at all, but just in the tiny case there's any
leftover effects of a childhood involving instability or overcoming
difficulties, it might be healing to accept help.

It was helpful for me.

Sandra

Fetteroll

on 10/7/02 3:17 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> I used to feel that way about other people helping me.

And it's actually a nice thing to do for others by accepting their help!
People want to help others. It makes them feel good. It's really a kindness
to allow people to feel good if we accept their offers of help :-)

Joyce

Karin

Okay Myranda, it was just a thought. I wouldn't want you to feel
uncomfortable or your DH to have a duck fit, afterall. ;-)
I still think you should be able to go, someway. It isn't fair. :-(

Karin




> Oh, gosh, seriously, I couldn't accept something like that!!! I wouldn't
feel right, and I know DH would have an absolute duck fit! That may be
hyprocritical of me, because I'm usually the first to offer help, money or
material or physical, to anyone who needs it, but I don't know, I just
wouldn't feel right at all!!!! It's so sweet of you guys to even think of it
though! ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
> Myranda

Tia Leschke

>
> And it's actually a nice thing to do for others by accepting their help!
> People want to help others. It makes them feel good. It's really a
kindness
> to allow people to feel good if we accept their offers of help :-)

It's also good to remember that "what goes around, comes around". Someone
helps me, and I help a third person, who helps a fourth person, etc. and
someone ends up helping person number one.
Tia

kayb85

"Oh goodness, I know I'd never be able to go and hold my head up if I
didn't pay my own way!!!"

Why? Life's not about always paying our own way, it's about loving
each other and helping each other out. If you really want to go,
I'll paypal you some money towards it. Maybe some others will do the
same.

Sheila

Myranda

OK, I'm sitting here crying cause all of you have been so nice and sweet and caring, offering to help pay my way into the conference, my husband is looking at me like I've really gone off the deep end now! To all of you who offered, on and offlist, I give up! :::::waving white flag::::: LOL I can refuse one or two, but you all made some very good points, and the last thing I am is stupid. :-)

Let me talk to my mom tonight and see if she has a car I can borrow or if she can take us and fetch us each day, and I'll let you guys know tomorrow. Babies are allowed, right? DH said he could stay home with the boys on Sat and Sun, but he's got to work Friday. I don't think they do the family thing at this late date, do they? Anyway, I'm a babbling idiot now, I'll let you all know tomorrow if I'll have a way to and from. Thank you all so much, I'm off to find some more tissues! ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Myranda



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

marji

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) right back to you, Myranda! I'm really glad
you've changed your mind. Selfish thing that I am, I was hoping to get to
meet you!

Love,

marji

At 20:20 10/7/02 -0400, you wrote:
>OK, I'm sitting here crying cause all of you have been so nice and sweet
>and caring, offering to help pay my way into the conference, my husband is
>looking at me like I've really gone off the deep end now! To all of you
>who offered, on and offlist, I give up! :::::waving white flag::::: LOL I
>can refuse one or two, but you all made some very good points, and the
>last thing I am is stupid. :-)
>
>Let me talk to my mom tonight and see if she has a car I can borrow or if
>she can take us and fetch us each day, and I'll let you guys know
>tomorrow. Babies are allowed, right? DH said he could stay home with the
>boys on Sat and Sun, but he's got to work Friday. I don't think they do
>the family thing at this late date, do they? Anyway, I'm a babbling idiot
>now, I'll let you all know tomorrow if I'll have a way to and from. Thank
>you all so much, I'm off to find some more tissues!
>((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
>Myranda


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karin

So glad you changed your mind, Myranda!
Like I said, I'd be happy to pitch in and help pay your way into the
conference.
Hopefully Kelly or someone will figure out a way to do this best. I'd rather
not do the paypal thing, but I'd contribute when I register Friday evening.
((((hugs))) to you, too. See you soon!

Karin in Phoenix, AZ




> OK, I'm sitting here crying cause all of you have been so nice and sweet
and caring, offering to help pay my way into the conference, my husband is
looking at me like I've really gone off the deep end now! To all of you who
offered, on and offlist, I give up! :::::waving white flag::::: LOL I can
refuse one or two, but you all made some very good points, and the last
thing I am is stupid. :-)
>
> Let me talk to my mom tonight and see if she has a car I can borrow or if
she can take us and fetch us each day, and I'll let you guys know tomorrow.
Babies are allowed, right? DH said he could stay home with the boys on Sat
and Sun, but he's got to work Friday. I don't think they do the family thing
at this late date, do they? Anyway, I'm a babbling idiot now, I'll let you
all know tomorrow if I'll have a way to and from. Thank you all so much, I'm
off to find some more tissues! ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
> Myranda

Myranda

OK, guys, I spent all last night calling family, my mom's going to be out of town for a wedding, down on an island off Mobile, AL. My cousin is in the hospital, should be having a baby any time now. And everyone else has to work this weekend. So now I have no ride to get there and back each day. I'll keep trying!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

I would like to also reply to this, ignore if someone said it, I've had a hard accepting help from other people too. I think similar growing up circumstances as Sandra has said, but when I do accept help with an open heart, I grow and the other person grows too so much!
Now if its that there are too many 'other' reasons that the objective can't be attained, the objective going to the conference, then that's another story. But if its only financial it sounds like there are alot of people who would love to assist it you in getting there. I would also send some money!
See,,, in my case I could probably afford some way to get there but there are lots of other issues keeping me from going. Like transportation costs and time constraints because of distance, have other committments, but in your case Miranda maybe those things aren't there because you are only 1/2 hr away!
The way I see it, the more people that can learn more about our philosophies, the better. And then those people can reach out to more people. And so on and so on!
I'm not trying to be pushy but just wanting you to think through it seriously! It is very hard to accept help from others, but then I put the shoe on the other foot and think I want them to accept help from me so I have to accept help from them. A two way street!
Take Care,
Kelli, up north and too far from all of you!
SandraDodd@... wrote:Having a car repossessed is a BIG ONE!!!

But the conference is to be a big one too! I bet something can be worked out
if you're willing.


<< Oh, gosh, seriously, I couldn't accept something like that!!! I wouldn't
feel right, and I know DH would have an absolute duck fit! That may be
hyprocritical of me, because I'm usually the first to offer help, money or
material or physical, to anyone who needs it, but I don't know, I just
wouldn't feel right at all!!!! >>

I used to feel that way about other people helping me. I got over it
somewhat (not completely) when they not only pointed out the ways in which I
had helped other people, but brought me some literature to point out to me
that I was following a big, long, known patterns of adult children of
alcoholics and it wasn't really to my advantage to continue.

I know this might not apply at all, but just in the tiny case there's any
leftover effects of a childhood involving instability or overcoming
difficulties, it might be healing to accept help.

It was helpful for me.

Sandra


~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelli Traaseth

Ok, so I didn't read them all yet, but Myranda I'm so glad you are going to go for it!!
Others, let me know how I can help, I am so happy!
Kelli (feeling really good)
Myranda wrote:OK, I'm sitting here crying cause all of you have been so nice and sweet and caring, offering to help pay my way into the conference, my husband is looking at me like I've really gone off the deep end now! To all of you who offered, on and offlist, I give up! :::::waving white flag::::: LOL I can refuse one or two, but you all made some very good points, and the last thing I am is stupid. :-)

Let me talk to my mom tonight and see if she has a car I can borrow or if she can take us and fetch us each day, and I'll let you guys know tomorrow. Babies are allowed, right? DH said he could stay home with the boys on Sat and Sun, but he's got to work Friday. I don't think they do the family thing at this late date, do they? Anyway, I'm a babbling idiot now, I'll let you all know tomorrow if I'll have a way to and from. Thank you all so much, I'm off to find some more tissues! ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Myranda



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Myranda

Thanks Kelli, I'm sure by now you've read my "I surrender" e-mail, I'm just trying to find some transportation there and back each day now.
Myranda
I would like to also reply to this, ignore if someone said it, I've had a hard accepting help from other people too. I think similar growing up circumstances as Sandra has said, but when I do accept help with an open heart, I grow and the other person grows too so much!
Now if its that there are too many 'other' reasons that the objective can't be attained, the objective going to the conference, then that's another story. But if its only financial it sounds like there are alot of people who would love to assist it you in getting there. I would also send some money!
See,,, in my case I could probably afford some way to get there but there are lots of other issues keeping me from going. Like transportation costs and time constraints because of distance, have other committments, but in your case Miranda maybe those things aren't there because you are only 1/2 hr away!
The way I see it, the more people that can learn more about our philosophies, the better. And then those people can reach out to more people. And so on and so on!
I'm not trying to be pushy but just wanting you to think through it seriously! It is very hard to accept help from others, but then I put the shoe on the other foot and think I want them to accept help from me so I have to accept help from them. A two way street!
Take Care,
Kelli, up north and too far from all of you!
SandraDodd@... wrote:Having a car repossessed is a BIG ONE!!!

But the conference is to be a big one too! I bet something can be worked out
if you're willing.


<< Oh, gosh, seriously, I couldn't accept something like that!!! I wouldn't
feel right, and I know DH would have an absolute duck fit! That may be
hyprocritical of me, because I'm usually the first to offer help, money or
material or physical, to anyone who needs it, but I don't know, I just
wouldn't feel right at all!!!! >>

I used to feel that way about other people helping me. I got over it
somewhat (not completely) when they not only pointed out the ways in which I
had helped other people, but brought me some literature to point out to me
that I was following a big, long, known patterns of adult children of
alcoholics and it wasn't really to my advantage to continue.

I know this might not apply at all, but just in the tiny case there's any
leftover effects of a childhood involving instability or overcoming
difficulties, it might be healing to accept help.

It was helpful for me.

Sandra


~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

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---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Myranda

OK, my mom is going to rent me a car to use this weekend since she's going to be gone and wants us to be able to get somewhere if we need to. (But she wouldn't loan me the money to go to the conference because she does not understand it and does not agree with it ARGH!) So I now have a way to get to and from the conference!!!!!! So now I will humbly accept any and all offers of help. Without having to pay a car payment now, I will be able to pay back anything you will let me in a couple months' time! They're 5 of us, but DH said he would be willing to stay home with the boys if needed, so the only one who would have to go with me is my little 8mth nursling princess. I won't make it til about 6 Friday, but otherwise I can be there the whole time. :-) Ok, I'm getting excited now! Let me know what info you all need from me! ((((((((((GREAT BIG HUGE THANK YOU HUGS!!!!!!!!!!))))))))))))
Myranda




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

marji

That's great news, Myranda! This is so exciting!

Marji

At 18:12 10/8/02 -0400, Myranda wrote:
>OK, my mom is going to rent me a car to use this weekend since she's going
>to be gone and wants us to be able to get somewhere if we need to. (But
>she wouldn't loan me the money to go to the conference because she does
>not understand it and does not agree with it ARGH!) So I now have a way to
>get to and from the conference!!!!!! So now I will humbly accept any and
>all offers of help. Without having to pay a car payment now, I will be
>able to pay back anything you will let me in a couple months' time!
>They're 5 of us, but DH said he would be willing to stay home with the
>boys if needed, so the only one who would have to go with me is my little
>8mth nursling princess. I won't make it til about 6 Friday, but otherwise
>I can be there the whole time. :-) Ok, I'm getting excited now! Let me
>know what info you all need from me! ((((((((((GREAT BIG HUGE THANK
>YOU HUGS!!!!!!!!!!))))))))))))
>Myranda




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