re:needsvswants(long again)
rebecca
Good morning, I just wanted to say thank you to everybody for their
words of wisdom. I'm hoping that we may be on our past this hurdle in
our family. Yesterday Jason(dh)was able to come home early and he
took Avery out so that I could spend some time with Jaiden. I asked
him to come sit with me on the couch and started talking to him about
when he was a baby and telling him all about the years before Avery
came then I started making up a story about what it would be like now
if we didn't have Avery. He stoped me and told me that I forgot about
Avery and I asked him if he wanted me to include Avery and he said
yes, because Avery is his favorite brother and he loves him soooooo
much and he would be sad if we didn't have Avery anymore. Then I
asked him why he likes to hurt Avery so much and he said that he
dosen't like to hurt him he's just mad at him, because now that we
have Avery he has to wait for everything, he never gets to be first
anymore and that makes him mad and sad nad he just ends up hurting
Avery because he's there. So we talked about the things that he
misses by not being the only one. We also talked about him letting
me sleep in the mornings, and he told me that the reason he wakes me
up is because he's hungry, thirsty, and he isn't allowed to use the
vcr by himself. (we don't have cable and we can't get reception so
it's movies only at our house). And I remembered that before Avery,
Jason and I used to set up some snacks, a juice box, a bed on the
floor, and a movie so that he could come out and turn the tv on and
press play and he had everything that he needed. We stoped after we
had Avery, got lazy I guess. So I promised jaiden that I would set
him up in the morning again like I used to if he would try to let us
sleep a liitl longer in the morning. Jason and I also spent some time
talking last night about how we have been neglecting some of Jaidens
needs because with Avery requiring so much from us, and Jaiden being
so self suficiant(sp?) we forget that he's 4 (just turned) and he's
not grown up and that it's not fair of us to expect him to behave as
one. We both agreed that we have to make sure that he gets more one
on one with both of us. And that he needs to see us putting him first
sometimes. So this morning I had his bed made up, his snack waiting,
and a movie all ready to go and I got to sleep until Avery woke up
@1.5 hours later :-)
rebecca
P.S. I wanted to put my $0.02 in about spanking. My parents spanked
me and my brother, more than that my uncle made them a paddle that
had my name carved into one side and my brother's name carved into
the other. One side for my spankings, one side for my brothers. They
used to say that if we got hit with the wrong side it was because we
had made them so mad that they couldn't read and so we deserved
another swat with the right side. So, I have some major problems
with spanking
words of wisdom. I'm hoping that we may be on our past this hurdle in
our family. Yesterday Jason(dh)was able to come home early and he
took Avery out so that I could spend some time with Jaiden. I asked
him to come sit with me on the couch and started talking to him about
when he was a baby and telling him all about the years before Avery
came then I started making up a story about what it would be like now
if we didn't have Avery. He stoped me and told me that I forgot about
Avery and I asked him if he wanted me to include Avery and he said
yes, because Avery is his favorite brother and he loves him soooooo
much and he would be sad if we didn't have Avery anymore. Then I
asked him why he likes to hurt Avery so much and he said that he
dosen't like to hurt him he's just mad at him, because now that we
have Avery he has to wait for everything, he never gets to be first
anymore and that makes him mad and sad nad he just ends up hurting
Avery because he's there. So we talked about the things that he
misses by not being the only one. We also talked about him letting
me sleep in the mornings, and he told me that the reason he wakes me
up is because he's hungry, thirsty, and he isn't allowed to use the
vcr by himself. (we don't have cable and we can't get reception so
it's movies only at our house). And I remembered that before Avery,
Jason and I used to set up some snacks, a juice box, a bed on the
floor, and a movie so that he could come out and turn the tv on and
press play and he had everything that he needed. We stoped after we
had Avery, got lazy I guess. So I promised jaiden that I would set
him up in the morning again like I used to if he would try to let us
sleep a liitl longer in the morning. Jason and I also spent some time
talking last night about how we have been neglecting some of Jaidens
needs because with Avery requiring so much from us, and Jaiden being
so self suficiant(sp?) we forget that he's 4 (just turned) and he's
not grown up and that it's not fair of us to expect him to behave as
one. We both agreed that we have to make sure that he gets more one
on one with both of us. And that he needs to see us putting him first
sometimes. So this morning I had his bed made up, his snack waiting,
and a movie all ready to go and I got to sleep until Avery woke up
@1.5 hours later :-)
rebecca
P.S. I wanted to put my $0.02 in about spanking. My parents spanked
me and my brother, more than that my uncle made them a paddle that
had my name carved into one side and my brother's name carved into
the other. One side for my spankings, one side for my brothers. They
used to say that if we got hit with the wrong side it was because we
had made them so mad that they couldn't read and so we deserved
another swat with the right side. So, I have some major problems
with spanking
MO Milligans
At 05:05 PM 10/3/02 +0000, rebecca wrote:
Cool :) I hope everything is now on the up-swing. Great news! :)
Todd
"Despite the high cost of living
it's still extremely popular!"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>So this morning I had his bed made up, his snack waiting,==
>and a movie all ready to go and I got to sleep until Avery woke up
>@1.5 hours later :-)
>rebecca
Cool :) I hope everything is now on the up-swing. Great news! :)
Todd
"Despite the high cost of living
it's still extremely popular!"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/3/02 11:06:41 AM, elfmama92104@... writes:
<< I started making up a story about what it would be like now
if we didn't have Avery. He stoped me and told me that I forgot about
Avery >>
That's really sweet!
I'm glad he was able to open up and talk and that you came to some good
conclusions!
Maybe he IS old enough to use the VCR by himself. If you let him change
tapes while you're sitting there, you might be more confident about his
changing his own tapes while you're asleep.
Sandra
<< I started making up a story about what it would be like now
if we didn't have Avery. He stoped me and told me that I forgot about
Avery >>
That's really sweet!
I'm glad he was able to open up and talk and that you came to some good
conclusions!
Maybe he IS old enough to use the VCR by himself. If you let him change
tapes while you're sitting there, you might be more confident about his
changing his own tapes while you're asleep.
Sandra