dinner times
Mary Bianco
I'm wondering again. Okay, I hear you all sighing!!!
We use to have dinner time every day with all of us sitting down together. I
thought it was important. I was raised that way and I always remember that
we did it and it was nice.
Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.
I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what their
take is on this?
Mary B
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We use to have dinner time every day with all of us sitting down together. I
thought it was important. I was raised that way and I always remember that
we did it and it was nice.
Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.
I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what their
take is on this?
Mary B
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[email protected]
In a message dated 10/1/02 9:38:32 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< We use to have dinner time every day with all of us sitting down together.
I
thought it was important. I was raised that way and I always remember that
we did it and it was nice.
Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.
I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what their
take is on this? >>
Wow. That is an issue here right now. More for me probably, than anyone.
I was raised to think this was good and right. Had to think it through and
realize that's probably because it was the only time the whole family was
actually together in the whole entire day. So the importance was in the
connection because everyone is so fragmented by school and work.
In an unschooling family there is loads of time that everyone is together,
compared to the average family.
So no, I don't think it really is a big deal.
But I LIKE having meals together. Mainly because it means I actually cooked a
real meal, not just threw sandwiches or other quick stuff together.
It makes me happy to have us all sitting down, chatting, eathing yummy food I
cooked and just being together.
But working in the evenings has put a damper on it, so I try to remind myself
that it won't always be like this and we will have some meals together again.
sigh...
Ren
[email protected] writes:
<< We use to have dinner time every day with all of us sitting down together.
I
thought it was important. I was raised that way and I always remember that
we did it and it was nice.
Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.
I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what their
take is on this? >>
Wow. That is an issue here right now. More for me probably, than anyone.
I was raised to think this was good and right. Had to think it through and
realize that's probably because it was the only time the whole family was
actually together in the whole entire day. So the importance was in the
connection because everyone is so fragmented by school and work.
In an unschooling family there is loads of time that everyone is together,
compared to the average family.
So no, I don't think it really is a big deal.
But I LIKE having meals together. Mainly because it means I actually cooked a
real meal, not just threw sandwiches or other quick stuff together.
It makes me happy to have us all sitting down, chatting, eathing yummy food I
cooked and just being together.
But working in the evenings has put a damper on it, so I try to remind myself
that it won't always be like this and we will have some meals together again.
sigh...
Ren
Betsy
**Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a
time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really
noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.**
I have a friend who homeschools and is so much of a morning person that
she doesn't usually even want to eat dinner, she's that zonked in the
early evening. Her take on the dinner issue, is that since we give our
kids lots of attention throughout the rest of the day, we should get a
free pass on dinner if we want it. In my house, scandalous though it
may be, we eat dinner kind of collapsed in front of the television. We
have our best conversation in the car (dh) or at bedtime (ds). (Not to
mention mini-conversations during commercial breaks. <bweg>)
Betsy
time when
everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really
noticed a
difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
this. I don't see it as a problem.**
I have a friend who homeschools and is so much of a morning person that
she doesn't usually even want to eat dinner, she's that zonked in the
early evening. Her take on the dinner issue, is that since we give our
kids lots of attention throughout the rest of the day, we should get a
free pass on dinner if we want it. In my house, scandalous though it
may be, we eat dinner kind of collapsed in front of the television. We
have our best conversation in the car (dh) or at bedtime (ds). (Not to
mention mini-conversations during commercial breaks. <bweg>)
Betsy
Lisa M. C. Bentley
> I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what theirI agree that all families need time together as a family. In this
> take is on this?
modern day society, most families don't have time for each other EXCEPT
at dinner time, so they force themselves to catch up with each other
then. Since I spend all day with my kids and quite a few hours with DH,
too, (and he with the kids), we just don't need this. As a matter of a
fact, we do usually eat together, but I don't freak out when we don't.
For example, the other night my 6yo was eating supper in the kitchen and
I was about to sit next to her to eat mine. I decided that I'd rather
sit in the living room and I invited her to bring her dinner and join
me. She declined, stating that she would rather eat by herself and have
some time alone. No big deal. I'd been with her ALL DAY. What was a
half hour apart? Probably good for both of us, actually.
-Lisa
Fetteroll
on 10/1/02 8:56 PM, Mary Bianco at mummyone24@... wrote:
It's not the dinner specifically that's important, it's the opportunity to
connect. Dinner just makes it convenient.
When I was a kid, my parents would discuss adult things mostly at dinner. I
think. I didn't pay much attention. Whatever it was, it was deadly dull ;-)
I wanted dinner when I had a family to be full of interesting converstation
but since I'm not a talker and my husband isn't a talker I finally was
honest in my expectations and realized it was a lot more fun to watch TV
while we ate :-) We talk on walks and in the car and connect at other times.
Works much better.
Joyce
> Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time whenI agree with the others who said dinner time is an opportunity to reconnect.
> everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
> difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
> this. I don't see it as a problem.
It's not the dinner specifically that's important, it's the opportunity to
connect. Dinner just makes it convenient.
When I was a kid, my parents would discuss adult things mostly at dinner. I
think. I didn't pay much attention. Whatever it was, it was deadly dull ;-)
I wanted dinner when I had a family to be full of interesting converstation
but since I'm not a talker and my husband isn't a talker I finally was
honest in my expectations and realized it was a lot more fun to watch TV
while we ate :-) We talk on walks and in the car and connect at other times.
Works much better.
Joyce
Mary Bianco
>From: "Lisa M. C. Bentley" <cottrellbentley@...><<I agree that all families need time together as a family. In this
modern day society, most families don't have time for each other EXCEPT
at dinner time, so they force themselves to catch up with each other>>
I guess I never looked at that way. Come to think of it, when I was growing
up, generally during the week, it was the only time we had to be together.
With school and work and homework, my mom and dad and I seemed busy all the
other times.
My kids and I of course spend loads of time together and my husband although
working late, does the same. As soon as he comes home, he's in the playroom
for at least a few hours. Being they don't have a bedtime, it works for them
all. He also does many field trips with us and always comes with me to pick
up the kids from sports camp every Friday. I guess that's why I don't see a
negative thing attached to it.
Mary B
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Alan & Brenda Leonard
on 10/2/02 04:38, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
because it's an obvious time for us. DH goes to work at 5:30 a.m., and
comes home by 6 or 7 p.m. (he's army, lousy work hours!). He's hungry,
we're hungry, we eat. Since we haven't seen him all day, so it gives
everybody a chance to talk.
If you don't see it as a problem, at least right now, then ok. If it
becomes one later, couldn't you just go back to having a shared mealtime?
I'm assuming you have other family gathering times or whatever, when you are
all together and can do something or talk or whatever. Isn't that the
point? It's not as though the food is the critical issue.
brenda
[email protected] wrote:
> Well we don't do that anymore. My husband is very rarely home at a time whenWe have dinner together every night that my husband is around, but that's
> everyone is hungry to sit down and eat together. I haven't really noticed a
> difference in a bad way. It's been quite awhile now that it's been like
> this. I don't see it as a problem.
because it's an obvious time for us. DH goes to work at 5:30 a.m., and
comes home by 6 or 7 p.m. (he's army, lousy work hours!). He's hungry,
we're hungry, we eat. Since we haven't seen him all day, so it gives
everybody a chance to talk.
If you don't see it as a problem, at least right now, then ok. If it
becomes one later, couldn't you just go back to having a shared mealtime?
I'm assuming you have other family gathering times or whatever, when you are
all together and can do something or talk or whatever. Isn't that the
point? It's not as though the food is the critical issue.
brenda
MO Milligans
At 12:56 AM 10/2/02 +0000, you wrote:
Sometimes we all sit at the supper table together to eat, sometimes not. It
really just depends on the "mood" at the time supper is being served. <g>
In other words, we have no "set" way of doing "supper time" :-)
Todd
"Despite the high cost of living
it's still extremely popular!"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
>I was wondering if anyone else does this or doesn't do it and what their==
>take is on this?
>
>Mary B
Sometimes we all sit at the supper table together to eat, sometimes not. It
really just depends on the "mood" at the time supper is being served. <g>
In other words, we have no "set" way of doing "supper time" :-)
Todd
"Despite the high cost of living
it's still extremely popular!"
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html
Mary Bianco
>From: Alan & Brenda Leonard <abtleo@...><<I'm assuming you have other family gathering times or whatever, when you
are
all together and can do something or talk or whatever. Isn't that the
point? It's not as though the food is the critical issue.>>
Yes we do have plenty of other times we are all together. I had said before,
although my husband works late, because of the kids staying up late he gets
to spend plenty of time with them in the evening. I have my time during the
day and we all do many field trips together. And the obvious birthday
holiday things too.
The point is the together time and I was just not seeing as simple as that.
I guess years of hearing dinner time should ALWAYS be done as a family
engrained in my brain. For the most part every day the kids all eat together
and I see that as important time for them too.
Mary B
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