Nicole Bybee

I am so new to all of this so please forgive me if I sound ignorant. I have
been reading today about being less restrictive and having less rules. I
can see the wisdom in it. But I just wanted to ask if you have chores your
children are required to do? Also, as mine run through the house and I am
bone weary, I am just preparing to get them to bed and was wondering if your
children have required bed times? And how do these things fit into
unschooling"?
Thanks for putting up with me:o)


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife to the most awesome BRAD LEE 14 awesome years
Mom to Adam 12 (almost 13)
Tyler (11)
KLINTON (10)
BRENDAN (8)
Dakota (6)
Preston (4)
Jordan (2)
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mummyone24

Welcome and you certainly have a house full. Must be interesting and
fun and exhausting at one time or another. How wonderful though. I
would have loved to have started earlier and had more kids.

About the chores thing. I have read or heard somewhere, not sure
where, that our 'job' if you will as parents is to teach our children
and then when they know how, to let them do for themselves. I
personally don't do this. My kids in the next few months will turn
17, 8, 7 and 2. I know they can get their own food and drinks. Most
of the time, I do it for them. Not because I feel like I have to or
because they expect me to, just because I enjoy it. Okay not always,
but then again they do a lot for themselves and me too. My oldest
does cook but there are many times when I cook for her. There are
many times when she feeds the other kids too. She can do laundry just
like I'm sure if I showed the middle two how to do it, they could
too. But I usually do it all. No big deal really. I'm doing laundry
every day anyway, what's another load?

Each child does put their own clothes away after I fold it. Sometimes
they help fold and my oldest always folds her own. Not the rest
because I'm just too anal about how it's all folded!! They each keep
their room clean and mostly tidy, although my son is a scatterer. If
that's not a word, it should be. The baby helps me feed the dogs
every day and they all help with letting them out and playing with
them. My oldest is in charge of the cat box, which is automatic so
it's not too bad. When everyone eats, they each clean off their plate
and take their things to the kitchen. My oldest will load the
dishwasher and wash things in the sink too. None of these things are
really forced upon them to do. There are times when they slack off on
some and times when they do more. Their allowances have nothing to do
with chores. They get money every week regardless. They are never
made to feel like they have to do them. I guess it's just the way
they were brought up, just kind of knowing and wanting to take care
of their own things. I never told the baby to do these things either
and she just follows suit with the rest of them.

As far as bedtimes go, we never really had a set time with any of
them. Even with my oldest being in school, I leave it up to her. She
knows what she needs. But at the same time, the kids don't stay up
until 1:00 a.m. either. The only reason being that with them being so
young, they sleep later in the morning and we would have a really
hard time doing some of the field trips my local group goes on. These
are choices that they made about going and know how they feel from
staying upo too late (late for them) by experience. So as much as it
is something they know and decide, I do suggest that maybe it's
getting a bit late and we have such and such the next day to go to.
My 2 younger girls need more sleep and go to bed earlier than my son
who will be 8 soon. He could probably stay up all night but watches
the clock so he doesn't sleep too long the next day and miss
something! As it is, no one is in bed before 11:00 these days. Much
later than my in laws think appropriate!!!!!

Sorry I got long winded. I haven't been getting my mail and had to
archive and felt the need to post something!!!

Mary B

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/25/02 8:43:32 PM, bnatkbdpj@... writes:

<< . But I just wanted to ask if you have chores your
children are required to do? >>

No, but yesterday I asked people to do specific things, and none of them even
sighed, they just did it happily.

<<Also, as mine run through the house and I am
bone weary, I am just preparing to get them to bed and was wondering if your
children have required bed times?>>

Mine don't. I got up this morning at 5:00 (because that's when my husband
went to work, and I was wide awake from a stupid dream), decided to start
some bread and get online, and my 13 year old was still up and online playing
Neopets and chatting with two friends. One is in town, and one is in
northern California, so I know he's not the only kid up all night or up
really early (in his local also-homeschooled-kid's case).

The older one, who's 16, wasn't in his bed either, but had stayed out gaming
late and so just slept over where he was.

Marty (mid-kid) went to sleep and asked me to make sure he gets up at noon,
to go to a gaming-league meeting at 2:00. Holly was last seen by me at
10:15 last night. She had rented The Wiz and was going to watch that in her
room, and she borrowed an extra alarm clock so she can get up at 9:00 so
she'll have time to practice fiddle and then get to a neighbor's house a few
blocks away by 11:00 for Harry Potter Leage at a shop near them.

Kirby has karate at 4:30, so I figure he'll be home noonish. I'm not
worried about him. He's very responsible.

What it has to do with unschooling is lots of their learning happens when
they're awake <bwg> and it doesn't all involve me.

Two of the boys' friends, one female and one male, have been deposere are
great discussions about all of it. Critique, sympathy, objection... <g>

While I was asleep, Holly was watching a musical (she's really interested in
theatre tech and costumes and such) and when she gets up she's going through
her fiddle lessons (three styles at once concurrent with her teacher:
Suzuki, Bluegrass, and something called something like "Just Do It" (I
forget, and the notebook's in Holly's room). So I don't really care what
hours she sleeps, I'm just happy that she's so involved in things that
interest her, and that she's looking forward to getting up today and doing
two things SHE chose to do. I'll practice with her, but I don't do Harry
Potter with her. Another homeschooling family introduced her to that and
takes her to that meeting.

Sandra

MO Milligans

At 08:48 PM 9/25/02 -0600, you wrote:

>But I just wanted to ask if you have chores your children are required to do?
==
Required is such a strong word. <g> My DD -10, gets up every morning with
her mother at 6:30 a.m. to take a walk, and then feed and water the
animals. It's not really a "chore" for her, but she loves to do it, just to
spend some one-on-one time w/mom. Our son, being only 7 has no chores at
this time. His main purpose in life is just to be a kid, and play, play,
play. I'm sure as he gets older, just like our daughter, he'll want to be
more helpful, and do things just because "they need to be done, and I know
how to help now".

> Also, as mine run through the house and I am bone weary, I am just
> preparing to get them to bed and was wondering if your children have
> required bed times?
==
Right now they don't *technically* have a bed time, but they're usually in
bed by 10:30 p.m. Mostly because they like to get up in the morning because
they have a lot of playing to do. <g> And usually by that time of night, me
and the Mrs. are getting tired too, so if they want a bed-time story, they
best do it while mom and dad have the energy. LOL.

> And how do these things fit into unschooling"?
==
Well, unschooling to us is just living life. So anything and everything is
part of life, and therefore applies/fits into unschooling :-)

>Thanks for putting up with me:o)
==
If they'll put up with me, they'll put up with anyone. LOL

Todd

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
I will choose Free Will" -Rush (& Todd)
http://rambleman.tripod.com/index.html

Nicole Bybee

Hi Mary B. Thanks so much for the welcome. Yes, our house is busy, noisy,
chaotic, fun, busy and wonderful all at the same time most of the time:o)

Nicole B,
Wife of the most awesome Brad Lee.
Mom to:
Adam 12 (almost 13)
Tyler 11
Klinton 10
Brendan 8
Dakota 6
Preston 4
Jordan 2
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In many places it is literally not safe physically for youngsters to go to
school. And in many schools - and it's becoming almost generally true - it
is spiritually unsafe to attend public schools. Look back over the history
of education to the turn of the century and the beginning of the educational
philosophies...which have led us now into a circumstance where our schools
are producing the problems that we face.
~ Boyd K. Packer

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