weakening child-mother bond
Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall
found peers
young children causing peer dependence and a drift from the family? At any
rate, you end up with kids who do not have a strong connection to their
immediate families and who spend more time every day with their peers,
therefor having more emoitonal dependence upon the approval of their peers.
I recently watched a program created by Wash. state first lady Mrs. Gov.
Locke about education in China. She has a young child and is a Chinese
American, so she took a group of educators from various fields (day care,
PS, Elemenatary, Private Primary, Music teachers, etc) from Wash. state on
a tour of Chinese educational facilities, etc. Not only were the schools
larger and had longer hours, but they were more strict. 50+ kids in a
class (even 5 year olds) all reciting in unison, sitting with their hands
folded in their desks, in their starched uniforms, etc. They also focused
on more arts and sciences as required subjects and expected (and got) much
more from much younger children than we do in the US. This is all cultural
of course. The large population necessitaites larger groups, and the
primary cultural concern with raising competitive workers pushes parents to
push their children. Kids are expected to be in after school programs, in
or outside of school, that push arts and music, everything from classical
Chinese instruments and calligraphy to modern western forms like jazz, tap,
ballroom danicing, saxaphone and piano. When having kindergarteners paint,
a teacher paints a picture and puts it on the board, and the children must
emmulate it as closely as possible. 50+ 5 year olds all painting the same
picture.
That is the public schools, private schools have higher expectations. The
state runs kindergarten boarding schools, which function much like private
schools here, in that the families must pay more money to send their
children there. Kindergarten in China is from age 3 to age 8. The
children (3 and up) attend all week and go home with their parents on the
weekends. They sleep in rooms crowded with little beds (literally wall to
wall, you could roll across the room on the beds) and have a heavy class
schedule including academics, calasthenic (sp?) drills, music and arts, and
scheduled "free play" time. Talk about peer dependence and severing the
parental child bond! The kids are kept in line in all the schools by the
threat of being shamed in front of their peers and "losing face" in front
of the teachers.
The key and goal for China is to have a cohesive, cooperative force of
workers who are accomplised in various skills and can compete in the
competitive world market. It puts things really in perspective when you
look at two important facts. 1) Family is of Primary importance to the
Chinese, who revere their elders and cherise their children, and 2) The
Chinese are only by law allowed to have one child. These parents are
sacrificing their time with their only child in order to help them "get
ahead" early. They would most likely laugh at our concerns with autonomy
and self direction, spiritual growth and emotional wholeness. They would
probably feel sorry for our children because they would think they would
not be on the cutting edge and would not keep up in the rat race.
However, it has been my experience that no matter what age kids learn
thngs, it all evens out according to ability and inclination when they get
to be adults. As long as they have ample opportunites to be exposed to
art, literature and sciences, as well as more basic skills, and are in a
supportive and healthy environment, kids will take what they want and leave
the rest. This is regardless of whether they are in IS, boarding school,
Homeschooled, etc. Can you tell by someone's handwriting how early they
learned to read and write as a child? Does preschool music class show in
the adult? Does a good GPA in gradeschool mean anything in your adult life?
Anyway, just thought this discussion on bonding was in the realm of the
program I watched and I wanted to share.
Nanci K.
>to be a greater influence than parents. Gee, could this be becauseI think we have had the discussion before onthis list abuot schooling for
>children enrolled in school and numerous activities rarely see their
>parents? Oh, I forgot about all that quality time spent in the car
>driving to and from all those activities!
>Mary Ellen
>Thanks. I needed that.
young children causing peer dependence and a drift from the family? At any
rate, you end up with kids who do not have a strong connection to their
immediate families and who spend more time every day with their peers,
therefor having more emoitonal dependence upon the approval of their peers.
I recently watched a program created by Wash. state first lady Mrs. Gov.
Locke about education in China. She has a young child and is a Chinese
American, so she took a group of educators from various fields (day care,
PS, Elemenatary, Private Primary, Music teachers, etc) from Wash. state on
a tour of Chinese educational facilities, etc. Not only were the schools
larger and had longer hours, but they were more strict. 50+ kids in a
class (even 5 year olds) all reciting in unison, sitting with their hands
folded in their desks, in their starched uniforms, etc. They also focused
on more arts and sciences as required subjects and expected (and got) much
more from much younger children than we do in the US. This is all cultural
of course. The large population necessitaites larger groups, and the
primary cultural concern with raising competitive workers pushes parents to
push their children. Kids are expected to be in after school programs, in
or outside of school, that push arts and music, everything from classical
Chinese instruments and calligraphy to modern western forms like jazz, tap,
ballroom danicing, saxaphone and piano. When having kindergarteners paint,
a teacher paints a picture and puts it on the board, and the children must
emmulate it as closely as possible. 50+ 5 year olds all painting the same
picture.
That is the public schools, private schools have higher expectations. The
state runs kindergarten boarding schools, which function much like private
schools here, in that the families must pay more money to send their
children there. Kindergarten in China is from age 3 to age 8. The
children (3 and up) attend all week and go home with their parents on the
weekends. They sleep in rooms crowded with little beds (literally wall to
wall, you could roll across the room on the beds) and have a heavy class
schedule including academics, calasthenic (sp?) drills, music and arts, and
scheduled "free play" time. Talk about peer dependence and severing the
parental child bond! The kids are kept in line in all the schools by the
threat of being shamed in front of their peers and "losing face" in front
of the teachers.
The key and goal for China is to have a cohesive, cooperative force of
workers who are accomplised in various skills and can compete in the
competitive world market. It puts things really in perspective when you
look at two important facts. 1) Family is of Primary importance to the
Chinese, who revere their elders and cherise their children, and 2) The
Chinese are only by law allowed to have one child. These parents are
sacrificing their time with their only child in order to help them "get
ahead" early. They would most likely laugh at our concerns with autonomy
and self direction, spiritual growth and emotional wholeness. They would
probably feel sorry for our children because they would think they would
not be on the cutting edge and would not keep up in the rat race.
However, it has been my experience that no matter what age kids learn
thngs, it all evens out according to ability and inclination when they get
to be adults. As long as they have ample opportunites to be exposed to
art, literature and sciences, as well as more basic skills, and are in a
supportive and healthy environment, kids will take what they want and leave
the rest. This is regardless of whether they are in IS, boarding school,
Homeschooled, etc. Can you tell by someone's handwriting how early they
learned to read and write as a child? Does preschool music class show in
the adult? Does a good GPA in gradeschool mean anything in your adult life?
Anyway, just thought this discussion on bonding was in the realm of the
program I watched and I wanted to share.
Nanci K.
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/10/1999 11:26:32 PM !!!First Boot!!!,
tn-k4of5@... writes:
<< Not only were the schools
larger and had longer hours, but they were more strict. 50+ kids in a
class (even 5 year olds) all reciting in unison, sitting with their hands
folded in their desks, in their starched uniforms, etc. >>
This sounds like a program for assembly line conformists. I immediately
thought that it is a good thing that Hitler did not know of this. How sad.
Blessings,
Stephanie
Teacher and Mommy of 4 homeschooling fanatics, wife to the best principal,
protector of many pets and wild ones, and unpublished writer.
I think that I will move closer to the gym, that way between sets,
I can run home and eat something sweet to keep up my energy! s.
Believe in others, and be a part; believe in yourself, and be the lead. s.
***Life's Learnings Academy - Protecting Our Children***
IT'S GREAT TO LEARN WHERE THE PRINCIPAL LOVES YOU
ICQ: 43428000 AOL IM: Lifeslearn
tn-k4of5@... writes:
<< Not only were the schools
larger and had longer hours, but they were more strict. 50+ kids in a
class (even 5 year olds) all reciting in unison, sitting with their hands
folded in their desks, in their starched uniforms, etc. >>
This sounds like a program for assembly line conformists. I immediately
thought that it is a good thing that Hitler did not know of this. How sad.
Blessings,
Stephanie
Teacher and Mommy of 4 homeschooling fanatics, wife to the best principal,
protector of many pets and wild ones, and unpublished writer.
I think that I will move closer to the gym, that way between sets,
I can run home and eat something sweet to keep up my energy! s.
Believe in others, and be a part; believe in yourself, and be the lead. s.
***Life's Learnings Academy - Protecting Our Children***
IT'S GREAT TO LEARN WHERE THE PRINCIPAL LOVES YOU
ICQ: 43428000 AOL IM: Lifeslearn