[email protected]

In a message dated 9/10/02 9:17:10 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I still don't have rules. But I fear I've done as much damage in talking
about this being less nutritious than that as my friends did in having all
those rules. How do others handle these kinds of issues? >>

Here's our life, just for an example, not to tell you how to do it.
I buy mostly wholesome, healthy foods. I cook fairly nutritous meals and try
to make good snacks easily available. I also include my children in the meal
planning (ie: "what do you guys want to eat this week?) and the grocery
shopping.
They love going to the grocery store.
Most kids I know hate it. But I go where they want, we look at all the foods
together, we talk about where they are from and how to cook the weird ones
(cactus, ugli fruit, Jicama) and they choose what they want also.
If it's junky, I try to offer a healthier alternative that would meet the
desire. Like my dd wanted Tang juices the other day, I showed her the Capri
sun (full of sugar, but at least with real fruit juice and not all the
preservatives and dye of the Tang) and she thought that was fine. If she
still really wanted the Tang I'd get it.
Sure I cringe.
But here's my thought process on this.
I've seen people eat all the things I am horrified about and live to be OLD
and healthy.
I believe that emotional/mental health is by far the most important aspect of
a persons total well being.
So if I have a choice between physical health and emotional health, I'll do
deprive the physical before the emotional.
And I hugely believe that having control of one's life, of the choices in
that life and not having feelings of deprivation, contribute to a person's
emotional health.
So sure, I cringe over the dye or sugar, but I've also seen my children less
needy with the junk and more willing to try anything I cook. Because they
trust me to not be coercive with food.
While I was fixing their dinner last night, they all pulled out popsicles
that Sierra had made herself earlier and ate those. I didn't notice that it
made a dent in what they ate.
I dislike that "you'll spoil your appetite" garbage.
Isn't that the whole point of eating? To stop the feelings of hunger? But I
guess we just shouldn't eat since it will spoil our appetite!! LOL
But I digress...
The point is, you could make a big deal about the stuff you consider junk and
cause them to feel needy and not trust you.
Or you could relax, watch them eat it happily and think how wonderful it is
that they aren't feeling stressed about their food choices.
And then watch them eat their broccoli just as happily because they feel
confident in their own choices. :)

Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/10/02 8:49:15 AM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<< Or you could relax, watch them eat it happily and think how wonderful it
is
that they aren't feeling stressed about their food choices.
And then watch them eat their broccoli just as happily because they feel
confident in their own choices. :) >>

Last night at a restaurant, Holly wanted mozarella sticks for her meal. When
mine came (salmon) she didn't want any salmon, but she DID want the cooked
carrots and the rice. When desert time came, she didn't want any. We
would've bought her one. She came home to a fridge she knew had cheesecake,
ice cream and popsicles. They're all still there.

Sandra

Mary Bianco

Just wanted to add something about the whole food issue. Just in case anyone
is wondering about the choices their children are making.

Tara, my oldest was a great eater as a baby. She ate everything put in front
of her, veggies and whatever it was. When she turned 2, it was like a
different child. Within a week, she cut out all meat to only meatballs.
Within the next month after that, she cut out just about everything else she
ate. She cut out milk, meat of any kind, veggies except for corn, fruit
except for baby peaches. (I mean baby food) She started to survive on french
fries, spaghettio's without the meatballs, pasta with sauce and no meat in
the sauce. Lunches were a chore as she was going to school. From the 2nd
grade up to last year, (she's almost 17)she took peanut butter and jelly to
school every day of her life. When she was young, I thought it was phase.
Whn I realized it was going to be a very long one, I let her go. What was I
going to do, force food into her?? I would feed her before going anywhere
else to eat like someone's house and even would send her with food if she
went visiting. Very gradually she started to add some things on her own. She
started with chicken tenders from BK and went from there.

Now she can eat out at any restuarant and manages quite well. She added some
veggies and fruit along the way. She doesn't "pig out" on snacks, drinks
only water and ice tea, and has even gone as far as to eat steak now. The
only other meat from chicken she'll touch. Doesn't eat any kind of seafood
at all. Point is it all worked for her. Even though she's a school kid,
she's healthier than most I know. Most of the time, the whole house can
catch a cold and she gets nothing. So it certainly hasn't hurt her any and
we've saved countless hours of fighting over nothing.

Mary B



_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com