A testimonial and elaboration
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/6/2002 9:21:26 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
Sandra was telling me about something that had happened at their house and
Holly jumped in to correct her facts about something. I have seen kids around
Holly's age do this a million times -- they understand a lot but don't always
understand when getting the minute details correct isn't really all that
germaine to the point of relating the story.
What I've ALSO seen is how parents usually react to their kids doing it. They
almost always feel a bit embarrassed and like the kid was interrupting (not
thinking of them as part of the conversation) and usually try to shush the
kid or brush off the corrections or even sometimes tell the kid in one way or
another to just butt out.
Sandra turned to Holly and very seriously asked her to clarify what had
exactly happened. Holly has a rather amazing memory for stuff like who said
what and who said what next, etc., and she filled in that part of the story
and then Sandra thanked her and continued it herself.
This is a small thing - but the level of respect Sandra gives her kids is
really beyond that which I've seen just about anywhere else, especially when
it comes to these very common kinds of interactions. And the payoff is very
very obvious. Holly is an easygoing delightful articulate and very very
courteous and kind kid. She looks you right in the eye, she's interested in
what you have to say, and she's just amazingly insightful, especially about
human behavior.
I sometimes wish, oddly, that I'd had really lousy parenting myself -- so
that I'd be less inclined to follow the "pretty darn good" patterns of my own
mom, and be really aware and make very conscious decisions, like Sandra has
done.
Anyway - my point is that Sandra is really talking about very very VERY
respectful parenting - not just kinda sorta - and I don't think that her
kids, by the way, were genetically just "easy."
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> -=-I am workingWe were driving along, Sandra and me in the front seat, Holly in the back.
> my way towards the possibility that some children (good kids,
> nice kids, even kids who have been raised 'properly') may
> respond less simply than your daughter-=-
>
> I don't see it as "simple." I see it as a compassionate trust build by
> compassionate action.
Sandra was telling me about something that had happened at their house and
Holly jumped in to correct her facts about something. I have seen kids around
Holly's age do this a million times -- they understand a lot but don't always
understand when getting the minute details correct isn't really all that
germaine to the point of relating the story.
What I've ALSO seen is how parents usually react to their kids doing it. They
almost always feel a bit embarrassed and like the kid was interrupting (not
thinking of them as part of the conversation) and usually try to shush the
kid or brush off the corrections or even sometimes tell the kid in one way or
another to just butt out.
Sandra turned to Holly and very seriously asked her to clarify what had
exactly happened. Holly has a rather amazing memory for stuff like who said
what and who said what next, etc., and she filled in that part of the story
and then Sandra thanked her and continued it herself.
This is a small thing - but the level of respect Sandra gives her kids is
really beyond that which I've seen just about anywhere else, especially when
it comes to these very common kinds of interactions. And the payoff is very
very obvious. Holly is an easygoing delightful articulate and very very
courteous and kind kid. She looks you right in the eye, she's interested in
what you have to say, and she's just amazingly insightful, especially about
human behavior.
I sometimes wish, oddly, that I'd had really lousy parenting myself -- so
that I'd be less inclined to follow the "pretty darn good" patterns of my own
mom, and be really aware and make very conscious decisions, like Sandra has
done.
Anyway - my point is that Sandra is really talking about very very VERY
respectful parenting - not just kinda sorta - and I don't think that her
kids, by the way, were genetically just "easy."
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]