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In a message dated 9/2/02 10:07:20 PM Central Daylight Time, robin9700@...
writes:


> Thank you to all who recommended books (and other ideas) for "the relunctant
> husband." I think that *I* will end up being the one doing the reading.
> But,
> I'm thinking that's okay and that I should be grateful that we have
> agreement to homeschool because *I* want to and believe in it so much (with
> conditions). I like the idea of posting quotes...it would serve a purpose
> for inspiring me and if it goes beyond that, then great! The conditions
> are
> that our children be prepared to enter ps if it becomes necessary....cover
> same learning objectives as ps. Just got to figure out how to do this in
> unschooly kind of way. Please don't say its impossible!
>
> Thanks to all,
> Robin

Dear Robin,
Yes, you probably will be the one doing the reading. That's okay. I do wonder
about these "conditions" though. The one thing about unschooling I have tried
to stress to Darin is that the kids will learn better this way (as opposed to
the rigors of a ps curriculum.) but for him not to expect them to pick up a
math book or ask for a history book. He says he understands, but I don't
think he does. I know that if Moly *had* to go to school starting tomorrow,
she would be ages ahead of the other kids (I think third grade?) in reading,
but miles behind in math. She would be all over the place with everything
else. Moly knows tons about the human body, but I don't think a typical third
grade curriculum covers that. So although she knows some *science* the
teacher would probably assume we never studied any science at all. (true and
not true at the same time.) Moly could name many constellations, and knows
all sorts of things about the planets. But if that wasn't what the teacher
was teaching at the time, she wouldn't be able to appreciate Moly's
knowledge.

My husband Darin thinks homeschooling is a fine idea. (But) I get the
impression that he isn't too sure about all this *free learning*. He doesn't
say much, but every now and then he will make a small comment. Usually it
goes something like this. Moly is counting out her money. She has a pile of
change and some paper bills. She announces she has four dollars, 7 quarters,
18 nickels, 5 dimes and 143 pennies. Darin says "how much is that?" and Moly
says, "I just said how much I have." Darin will look at me, I am sure you
know that look. <g> and try to give Moly this 5 minute math lesson on how to
count her money. The first problem that comes up is she isn't wanting a
lesson on counting money. Then there is the problem that she doesn't know how
to add large numbers. So he tries to describe how to carry the one. She
doesn't get that so he tries to tell her about number placement. It goes on
and on and Moly gets bored and upset that her Dad isn't impressed with the
amount of money she has saved, rather he wants to turn everything into a
lesson. Darin gets upset that Moly doesn't seem to want to know how to add up
her money. Moly leaves and Darin says to me, "I thought you started school
already." (meaning the public schooled kids have gone back, why haven't you
started teaching our kids something?) I gently remind him that we don't do
school, we are learning all the time, the kids and I follow our interests. To
which I usually hear, "That's great, but when are you going to do math?" He
just doesn't get it and I doubt he ever will.

I have tried to get him to read books on the subject, then I tried to get him
to "Just read this chapter honey!" then I tried reading whatever paragraph
had just struck me as an extraordinarily, eye-opening, what ever idea I
thought just might help him *get it*. I'm going to try tapes next. He likes
books on tape so maybe this will work! Someone else telling him what I have
been saying all along, in their words. I think, over the years, he has come
to accept it though. He knows the kids are smart. He is just so impressed
with the way Moly had taken to reading, and is always asking about what she
is reading. But I am sure if there were worksheets with big gold stars, all
over the fridge, he would be more comfortable. Marrying me has definitely put
Darin outside his comfort zone! <g>

My best advice is, be gentle with it. For many people the idea of unschooling
takes time. So read little blurbs out loud, post short articles where he will
find them. Take the Field and Stream magazines out of the bathroom and put
your copy of The Homeschooling Handbook out, open to the unschooling chapter.
Subscribe to Home Education Magazine and leave it open to that great article
on his side of the bed...
Good Luck!
~Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma *

>>Moly could name many constellations, and knows all sorts of things about
>>the planets. But if that wasn't what the teacher was teaching at the time,
>>she wouldn't be able to appreciate Moly's knowledge.>>

This is such a good point. The teacher needs to be able to prove that she's
"taught" the student the approved curriculum. All the other knowledge is
besides the point. The teacher needs to keep the focus on that curriculum.
Stifling.

>>Usually it goes something like this. Moly is counting out her money. She
>>has a pile of change and some paper bills. She announces she has four
>>dollars, 7 quarters, 18 nickels, 5 dimes and 143 pennies. Darin says "how
>>much is that?" and Moly says, "I just said how much I have.">>

I love this! You tell him, Moly!

>>Darin will look at me, I am sure you know that look. <g> and try to give
>>Moly this 5 minute math lesson on how to count her money. The first
>>problem that comes up is she isn't wanting a lesson on counting money.
>>Then there is the problem that she doesn't know how to add large numbers.
>>So he tries to describe how to carry the one. She
doesn't get that so he tries to tell her about number placement.>>

How about if next time he just plays with the coins and makes piles that add
up to $1? That's how Casey started understanding it. With the amounts Moly
had, her Dad could make 1 pile with 4 quarters, 1 pile with 3 quarters 2
dimes and a nickel, 1 pile with 3 dimes 14 nickels, one pile with 100
pennies, and one with the leftovers of 3 nickels and 43 pennies. The dollars
are then easy to count up and the leftovers aren't nearly so overwhelming.
No big numbers or carrying. Just counting up the money to see how much
you've got to spend. As you said, though, it's better if it's not a lesson,
and if Moly was interested in playing with the coins too. :o)

Life is good.
~Mary



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Betsy

**

I have tried to get him to read books on the subject, then I tried to
get him
to "Just read this chapter honey!" then I tried reading whatever
paragraph
had just struck me as an extraordinarily, eye-opening, what ever idea I
thought just might help him *get it*. I'm going to try tapes next. He
likes
books on tape so maybe this will work! **


Maybe you want to get PamS's Joyful Math tapes? They might convince him
that if you try to force kids to "carry the one" when they don't
understand it that you will warp their minds forever.

Betsy

mary krzyzanowski

I would say that Moly did tell her dad how much money she had, she just
didn't tell him what it was worth.
Mary-NY


>From: "zenmomma *" <zenmomma@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom]Doing school in an unschooly way was
>homeschool books for dh
>Date: Tue, 03 Sep 2002 07:07:51 -0600
>
>
> >>Moly could name many constellations, and knows all sorts of things about
> >>the planets. But if that wasn't what the teacher was teaching at the
>time,
> >>she wouldn't be able to appreciate Moly's knowledge.>>
>
>This is such a good point. The teacher needs to be able to prove that she's
>"taught" the student the approved curriculum. All the other knowledge is
>besides the point. The teacher needs to keep the focus on that curriculum.
>Stifling.
>
> >>Usually it goes something like this. Moly is counting out her money. She
> >>has a pile of change and some paper bills. She announces she has four
> >>dollars, 7 quarters, 18 nickels, 5 dimes and 143 pennies. Darin says
>"how
> >>much is that?" and Moly says, "I just said how much I have.">>
>
>I love this! You tell him, Moly!
>
> >>Darin will look at me, I am sure you know that look. <g> and try to give
> >>Moly this 5 minute math lesson on how to count her money. The first
> >>problem that comes up is she isn't wanting a lesson on counting money.
> >>Then there is the problem that she doesn't know how to add large
>numbers.
> >>So he tries to describe how to carry the one. She
>doesn't get that so he tries to tell her about number placement.>>
>
>How about if next time he just plays with the coins and makes piles that
>add
>up to $1? That's how Casey started understanding it. With the amounts Moly
>had, her Dad could make 1 pile with 4 quarters, 1 pile with 3 quarters 2
>dimes and a nickel, 1 pile with 3 dimes 14 nickels, one pile with 100
>pennies, and one with the leftovers of 3 nickels and 43 pennies. The
>dollars
>are then easy to count up and the leftovers aren't nearly so overwhelming.
>No big numbers or carrying. Just counting up the money to see how much
>you've got to spend. As you said, though, it's better if it's not a lesson,
>and if Moly was interested in playing with the coins too. :o)
>
>Life is good.
>~Mary
>
>
>
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