[email protected]

In a message dated 8/28/02 12:40:57 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Now it's just a matter of course, and I have learned that the "rough
housing" seems to serve a real need between the kids and their dad. I hope
that's how the sword play evolves, too. Debi >>

I read in a book once (many years ago, heaven knows what the name was) about
the importance of both male and female figures in a child's life.
Father's tend to be physical, wrestling and tickling a lot. While mothers
tend to the hugging, story reading stuff. Not that we don't do both, but it
seems that Father's like the kind of play that excites their children. I've
noticed that my boys are very physical whether it's in a happy way or an
angry way. They just are.
More physical than my daughter, although I'm sure there are plenty of
exceptions. Both types of play (the calm and the excitable) are really
important to a child's development. They get something good from both. So
although the tickly, wrestly stuff may not be your personality preferance, it
seems to be good for kids (assuming they are voluntarily participating of
course!!)

Ren

[email protected]

Oh! And I forgot to mention that both my 9 and 12 y.o. boys have real weapons
too. They saw daggers at the SCA event we've been to twice and HAD to have
them. Trevor had three daggers (or is it two? I think he sold one) and Jared
has two. They are deadly weapons, very cool looking and on very high shelves
to keep them from the babsy boy.
They know that I am serious about the safety issue of having weapons in a
home with a little person, and they've done fine so far.
They don't even take them out except to show them off. They've never done
anything dangerous with them. And they have gotten immense enjoyment from
these items.
During the SCA events they can cut up their meat with a really cool, very
period weapon. fun!

Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/28/02 2:33:26 PM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< I thought I had made all my decisions in these areas long before I ever
had children, >>
Well Debi, I guess you could say that wouldn't be very unschoolish. If we
make decisions about our children before they're born, we aren't able to get
their point of view first eh?
I certainly had made decisions about sending my kids to school and such
before they were born. Thank goodness I have actual experience now, not just
some vague ideas about how to be a parent before they even existed.
Our children are our guides, just as we are theirs. Listening to their
views, their needs and their desires is the ultimately important thing in
unschooling.
You can't do that if you've already made up your mind before the child is
even there.
I think being open to many possibilities is a key to unschooling success.
Often that means changing our minds on things we thought we knew. Just keep
listening to them, they know what they need.

Ren

debi watson

And just keep reminding me -- I'm still new! :o) Debi

>>Well Debi, I guess you could say that wouldn't be very unschoolish. If we make decisions about our children before they're born, we aren't able to get their point of view first eh? (snip)
I think being open to many possibilities is a key to unschooling success. (snip) Just keep
listening to them, they know what they need.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jocelyn Vilter

> From: [email protected]
> Reply-To: [email protected]
> Date: 28 Aug 2002 17:40:41 -0000
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 2302
>
> My son knows the difference between playing and fighting, and I trust that he
>has enough respect for others' life and liberty that he would not use a gun to
> interfere with those things.

Exactly! In looking at various web pages in support of video games, I came
across this page (http://web.mit.edu/cms/games/current.html) about the
effects of video games on children. It's not my intention to hijack this
discussion and turn it into one about video games but this quote in
particular speaks about all kinds of play:

"If we don't distinguish between aggressive play and aggressive behavior, we
lose the whole value of play - which is to do things in fantasy that you
don't actually have to carry out in reality."

This is part of a much longer transcript of a talk given by Geoffrey
Goldstein at MIT entitled "Computer and video games come of age, a national
conference to explore the current state of an emerging entertainment
medium,"

Jocelyn Vilter

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/28/02 3:25:00 PM, starsuncloud@... writes:

<< Trevor had three daggers (or is it two? I think he sold one) and Jared
has two. They are deadly weapons, >>

OH!
REAL daggers. <g>

At first I thought you were writting about "boffer-daggers"!

That's another kinda-fun toy. Just foam, no PVC, enough tape to make it
rigid. They can use boffer and dagger, or just have a "knife fight," and for
boys who want more physical activity it can be pretty strenuous.

In all of this, remind them to be chivalrous and courteous and not aim for
faces, heads, groins.

Sandra

marji

At 09:00 8/29/02 -0400, Sandra wrote:
>At first I thought you were writting about "boffer-daggers"!
>
>That's another kinda-fun toy. Just foam, no PVC, enough tape to make it
>rigid. They can use boffer and dagger, or just have a "knife fight," and for
>boys who want more physical activity it can be pretty strenuous.
>
>In all of this, remind them to be chivalrous and courteous and not aim for
>faces, heads, groins.
>
>Sandra

Oh yeah! I remember a toy we got for Liam a couple of years ago that's
been tremendous fun. We bought him a pair of over-large inflatable swords
and shields (made of the kind of durable material you might find in an air
mattress). He could really go to town with those, and the laughing never
stopped! I "think" Hearthsong sells them, but I could be all wrong.

Marji

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/29/02 7:51:28 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Mary the pacifist, is that me? >>

Maybe I'm wrong, I know you're a Taoist Mary, but aren't you a pacifist? I
am positive you are a peaceloving individual, but maybe I stated it wrong
when I used the term pacifist. Sorry if I used the wrong label (I hate labels
sometimes!!:)
Anyway, I thought it might be helpful for her to hear how another Mom with
similar views would handle weaponry fascination.

Ren

zenmomma *

><< Mary the pacifist, is that me? >>
>
>Maybe I'm wrong, I know you're a Taoist Mary, but aren't you a pacifist? I
>am positive you are a peaceloving individual, but maybe I stated it wrong
>when I used the term pacifist. Sorry if I used the wrong label>>

Hey, I was just wondering if I was the one being asked to respond. LOL :-D I
have no problem with sweet, positive or nurturing type labels.

Life is good.
~Mary



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