Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

It turns out that this list is a support group after all....even after
Joyce's denial. Ren said so, therefore it must be true. Now we can all relax
because we know what we're doing. Fine. Until now, I have thought it was
trying for more than that, so I was misunderstanding the purpose. Sorry.

I can do support. Luz and I have done support for years. We still do a
newsletter called Unschoolers Unlimited Newsletter. If anyone wants to
receive it, send a private email.

Ned Vare

Unschooling for today...Whenever you get the urge to "teach" your child
something, think UN ! Perhaps the best way to quit hovering over your kid
is to get an interest or two for yourself, and do those things, and leave
your child alone for periods. Be a parent for a certain amount of time, and
for the rest of the time, do things that concern you and that you enjoy.

For example, when you go to the library for your child's weekly supply of
books, be sure to get one or two for yourself, and read them during those
periods that you might otherwise be tempted to hover.

Your child will respect that, and will take the hint that s/he is expected
to have his/her own interests. If you've recently taken him/her out of
school, don't expect him/her to suddenly know how to take charge of his/her
own life -- that takes time. The idea of unschooling is to help your child
become self-sufficient, independent, self motivated, creative in their use
of their time, critical thinking, etc.

joanna514

> Ned Vare
>
> Unschooling for today...Whenever you get the urge to "teach" your
child
> something, think UN ! Perhaps the best way to quit hovering over
your kid
> is to get an interest or two for yourself, and do those things, and
leave
> your child alone for periods. Be a parent for a certain amount of
time, and
> for the rest of the time, do things that concern you and that you
enjoy.
>
> For example, when you go to the library for your child's weekly
supply of
> books, be sure to get one or two for yourself, and read them during
those
> periods that you might otherwise be tempted to hover.
>
> Your child will respect that, and will take the hint that s/he is
expected
> to have his/her own interests. If you've recently taken him/her out
of
> school, don't expect him/her to suddenly know how to take charge of
his/her
> own life -- that takes time. The idea of unschooling is to help
your child
> become self-sufficient, independent, self motivated, creative in
their use
> of their time, critical thinking, etc.

It's so simple isn't it.
I mean, how idiotic can we be to have to discuss this more than a
couple of times before it sinks in?
I should have moved on to letting my kids be, and started focusing on
how much the schools suck, years ago!

You asked why discussing movies and video games from an unschooling
perspective is different than any other parents discussing those
topics. The word is *depth*. Try having a discussion about regular
parenting topics with a traditional school minded parent. Talk about
how much your kids watch tv, or how long your 5yo boy grows his hair
(he has a choice!?), what they eat,how much they love legos, or hate
reading......See what kind of feedback you get. These are real
issues, and I don't know about anybody else here, but I don't have
anyone IRL, where I live, who can even relate to an unschooling
philosophy that very much does spill over into parenting. These
simple little mundane issues to you, are paramount for many of us to
discuss, to help us continuing to give our children the freedom they
deserve. With the world around you telling you(or whispering behind
your back) to do things "the normal way", discussions like the ones
that happen here can save your sanity.
I'm sorry this list isn't serving your needs(and what needs are
they?), but it most definatly serves mine.
Joanna

Fetteroll

on 8/27/02 2:40 AM, Luz Shosie and Ned Vare at nedvare@... wrote:

> It turns out that this list is a support group after all....even after
> Joyce's denial.

Helen said that.

I have emphasized this is a discussion list in the past because many people
associate support group with something more akin to a cheerleading group
where they will get pats on the back for what they've done. It helps them to
see that this list isn't.

If it would help you to think of it as a support group so you can tell us
tales of what you and your son did when he was home, then feel free to do
so.

> Until now, I have thought it was
> trying for more than that, so I was misunderstanding the purpose. Sorry.

Apparently this is all sarcasm since the posts from you that follow show
that you've had no revelation at all and are still trying to make this some
kind of activist front for unschoolers who are pissed off at schools and the
government who aren't going to take it any more.

No problem with forming a list around that idea. Why try to change *this*
list to that?

Joyce