Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

on 8/19/02 12:00 PM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:

Joz asks:
> Questions:
> What is the difference between unschooling and radical unschooling?

Ned replies:
Most people think of homeschooling as "schooling at home." Therefore, those
who do not do schooling at home call their practice "unschooling." By that
logic, Unschooling is radical homeschooling. To me, it means, simply, no
schooling.
>
> Some of the things talked about like; allowing the child to decide
> what he/she watches on TV and for how long, what to eat and when,
> when to go to bed, whether to brush teeth etc are, I thought,
> parenting choices. Even children who go to school have these issues.
Yes, every family must deal with those issues individually. They are under
Parenting, not "education."
> So if these are part of unschooling how do they learn self-
> discipline, self-control and good life habits? Do you just use
> natural consequences for everything?
Many seem to think that if a parent sits back and has "good thoughts" about
their child, that the child will do what that parent imagines is the "right
thing."
Such parents are kidding themselves. Get a parenting book (maybe five) if
you have no idea how to raise a kid. Parenting is not something adults are
suddenly able to do just because they have a kid. It is hard work, much like
any relationship. Your questions make it difficult to know where to start in
a serious answer. You seem to need to start pretty near the beginning.
>
> How does religion work with unschooling? Do people who are devout
> believers 'teach' their children their 'beliefs'? If a child asks
> about God do they get the parents 'beliefs' as truth? Same for non-
> believers too?
Your attitude will determine how your child responds to your religion. My
experience tells me that children who see the benefits of their parents'
faith, usually respond agreeably. Those who have it stuffed down their
throats, usually don't.

The old testament is about rules that say, "Don't" --" Thou Shalt NOT...."
But the new testament is more positive -- the Beatitudes -- "Blessed are the
peacemakers," etc.
The new testament shows how far people came the period that the Bible
describes. It was a period of great self-examination and discovery.

> Or do you say "this is what I believe and some people
> believe such and such, and in your life the choice is yours what you
> choose to believe" or something like that?
That sounds most agreeable to me. That will be true no matter what we do, so
it seems best to start out with that attitude.

Ned Vare

zandaniel

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
<nedvare@n...> wrote:
> on 8/19/02 12:00 PM, Unschooling-dotcom@y... at
> Unschooling-dotcom@y... wrote:> >
> Get a parenting book (maybe five) if
> you have no idea how to raise a kid. Parenting is not something
adults are
> suddenly able to do just because they have a kid. It is hard work,
much like
> any relationship. Your questions make it difficult to know where to
start in
> a serious answer. You seem to need to start pretty near the
beginning.
> Ned Vare

Contrary to what you thought my post conveyed I have been parenting
for 13 years and don't need parenting help from you just unschooling
help!!
The object of my post was to determine whether unschoolers
incorporate the philosophy into all areas of their lives or whether
they pick and choose what works for them.
To me allowing a 3 year old to watch adult movies and not clean their
teeth for a month is just bad parenting not unschooling.
Concerning parenting books, I have read too many to count and have
found many 'so-called experts' don't know what the hell they're
talking about!!
I found most of my learning occurred through interaction with my
children. They showed me what compassion, gratitude, love, honesty,
patience, understanding, limits, personal boundaries, beauty and
courage (just to name a few) really were. They give me these gifts
every moment of everyday I spend with them. They encourage me to be
the best person I can be (Ned, it's called self-awareness and
emotional intelligence - have you heard of it? :) and I do the same
for them. I am honoured
that they are in my life everyday.
So, dear subtle Ned, don't fret that you need to coach me in how to
be a mother. Wouldn't want to tear you away from your war on school
:(
Regards Joz