Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

on 8/15/02 10:31 PM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:

Gerard Writes (or is it Leone?):
> <but am I harming them having them home every day (well, okay, we go places
> and do things together but they really
> aren't around children their age much at all)
> Insight on this?>
>
> Mary, I am new to fully unschooling, but I think the amount of time spent with
> other children/families depends on each person's needs/wants.

Ned Comments:

The people who say that children need to "be around others their age" are
those who are pushing school. Even so, the children in schools spend almost
their entire day NOT interacting with their peers, but instead being made to
sit still and shut up and listen mostly to unwanted information doled out by
strangers with mediocre education, suspicious incentives and often unhealthy
attitudes -- operating under repressive rules.

You are hurting your kids if you put them in those places. Almost anything
is a better experience than that. "Being around other children" is not what
school is for anyway, even though they use "socialization" when all else
fails and we know the children are not happy or learning there.

A child needs friends (at least one), not a room full of anxious same-age
"others" under artificial circumstances doing busywork isolated from all
other human life. In order to find a friend, interaction is required. Summer
is a good time for making new friends. So find ways to help them. I gather
that there are no children living nearby, so it's summer camp for a week;
swimming lessons; baseball, hiking clubs, 4H, etc. Many towns have
recreation directors who run programs for kids all day, every day. Subscribe
to the homeschooler newsletters and find out what other parents are doing.
It's getting so big that people can't keep up with it all, there are so many
activities and day trips.

Children find their own level of comfort. Ask them, and listen.

That's a start.

Ned Vare

Your being new to unschooling takes time to fully realize how much you are
now responsible for. I often ask in my programs, "Did you have children so
that you can give your kids to the government to raise for you - badly?"