Re: 2246 - for bkmblpn starting out
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
on 8/14/02 5:18 PM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
Easing into unschooling....? Hmmmm Have you ever tried "easing" youself
off a cliff. How 'bout "easing" your car into a concrete wall at 40 mph.
Thinking about those gives one the same excited and nervous feeling. We
know it's there. A lot of it comes from the kind things your relatives say,
like, "You're going to ruin that boy....and he's so smart, too...God, it's a
shame. Where did you get this idea...I've never really trusted you, bkmblpn,
now I know why." ?^)
As has been noted often, unschooling is what you don't do. Too bad there
isn't a good name for the positives of it, other that simply living a real
life with your child. But the transition requires a conscious effort to
pretend that there is no such thing as school.
Many adults can't do that. School is the elephant in the middle of their
house. They can't imagine life without it.
So your little trick is to unschool your self, or deschool yourself, as some
see this need. Your kid will not have a problem at all, I promise, except
when he's "bored" and remembers a friend who's still in school.
Keep the friends from school as needed. He need those contacts if possible.
Otherwise, be examples for him. Take your own interests seriously and he
will develop his own. Give him access to real activities in your community.
Let him involve himself deeply, say, in exactly what the stockpeople do at
the market -- the ones who put the stuff on the shelves. Why is the Jelly on
this shelf instead of that one? Why is the milk all the way in the back of
the market? and the meat, too.? and why are there a thousand little things
right at the checkout?
Similar thrilling questions can be pondered all day as you walk around the
community and watch things closely and figure out why everything is the way
it is. Who decided where the streets should be?
Somebody stop me, please... let the poor woman think up her own damn
questions for her poor son.
The really important stuff is what is on that kid's mind. After schooling,
he probably has the opinion that his ideas are not important to anyone.
School has that purpose -- to kill the spirit of children and thus turn
creative individuals into obedient sheep.
So your job is to TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY -- ALWAYS. There's even a website or
a group called Taking Children Seriously. That is sometimes a transition for
adults in itself, listening to the thoughts and ideas of kids and discussing
them without being disparaging or condescending....after all, they're so,
well, childish. You need to get into the practice of that, so your kid will
trust you with his thoughts and will also be interested in yours (sometimes,
maybe, if you're lucky).
Bottom line: "Unschooling" is the word to remember whenever either or your
spouse get the urge to "educate" the kid. If you "teach" him anything, teach
him not to let you do that to him, ever, unless he BEGS you. He'll love
controlling that part of his life.
Schooling is artificial. UNschooling is real life...it's everything that
school isn't.
Ned Vare
Let us know how it goes. . . once a week at least. Consider this
UNschool-anon for former school addicts. We're listening.
[email protected] wrote:
>Dear bkmblpn,
> Message: 19
> Date: Wed, 14 Aug 2002 20:31:34 -0000
> From: "bkmblpn" <Bkmblpn@...>
> Subject: New to Unschooling
>
> My husband and I have decided to embark on unschooling our 7 year
> old son. We are simultaneously excited and nervous. We like the free-
> style approach unschooling offers our extremely curious child, yet am
> confused by it. Any suggestions on how to ease our family into this
> transition?
>
>
>
Easing into unschooling....? Hmmmm Have you ever tried "easing" youself
off a cliff. How 'bout "easing" your car into a concrete wall at 40 mph.
Thinking about those gives one the same excited and nervous feeling. We
know it's there. A lot of it comes from the kind things your relatives say,
like, "You're going to ruin that boy....and he's so smart, too...God, it's a
shame. Where did you get this idea...I've never really trusted you, bkmblpn,
now I know why." ?^)
As has been noted often, unschooling is what you don't do. Too bad there
isn't a good name for the positives of it, other that simply living a real
life with your child. But the transition requires a conscious effort to
pretend that there is no such thing as school.
Many adults can't do that. School is the elephant in the middle of their
house. They can't imagine life without it.
So your little trick is to unschool your self, or deschool yourself, as some
see this need. Your kid will not have a problem at all, I promise, except
when he's "bored" and remembers a friend who's still in school.
Keep the friends from school as needed. He need those contacts if possible.
Otherwise, be examples for him. Take your own interests seriously and he
will develop his own. Give him access to real activities in your community.
Let him involve himself deeply, say, in exactly what the stockpeople do at
the market -- the ones who put the stuff on the shelves. Why is the Jelly on
this shelf instead of that one? Why is the milk all the way in the back of
the market? and the meat, too.? and why are there a thousand little things
right at the checkout?
Similar thrilling questions can be pondered all day as you walk around the
community and watch things closely and figure out why everything is the way
it is. Who decided where the streets should be?
Somebody stop me, please... let the poor woman think up her own damn
questions for her poor son.
The really important stuff is what is on that kid's mind. After schooling,
he probably has the opinion that his ideas are not important to anyone.
School has that purpose -- to kill the spirit of children and thus turn
creative individuals into obedient sheep.
So your job is to TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY -- ALWAYS. There's even a website or
a group called Taking Children Seriously. That is sometimes a transition for
adults in itself, listening to the thoughts and ideas of kids and discussing
them without being disparaging or condescending....after all, they're so,
well, childish. You need to get into the practice of that, so your kid will
trust you with his thoughts and will also be interested in yours (sometimes,
maybe, if you're lucky).
Bottom line: "Unschooling" is the word to remember whenever either or your
spouse get the urge to "educate" the kid. If you "teach" him anything, teach
him not to let you do that to him, ever, unless he BEGS you. He'll love
controlling that part of his life.
Schooling is artificial. UNschooling is real life...it's everything that
school isn't.
Ned Vare
Let us know how it goes. . . once a week at least. Consider this
UNschool-anon for former school addicts. We're listening.
[email protected]
WOW, were you the fly on the wall at my parents house the other night when I
told them our plans ? You practically had their reaction word for word.
FREAKY :-) I'm 42 with two other sons, 24 and 13, I only wish I learned then
what I'm learning now. Mom and Dad will get over it! Oh, and thanks for the
advice. It's much appreciated.
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
told them our plans ? You practically had their reaction word for word.
FREAKY :-) I'm 42 with two other sons, 24 and 13, I only wish I learned then
what I'm learning now. Mom and Dad will get over it! Oh, and thanks for the
advice. It's much appreciated.
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]