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Hi, I had a sudden discovery last night that my child thinks differently than
I do (duh) and I'd like some help in understanding her.

I had a pile of puzzles on the floor and I was trying to put one together.
It took me a little while to figure out which pieces went with the picture I
wanted and how to orient them. I ended up looking at the puzzle box to
figure it out. My 6-yo daughter came over to see what I was doing and just
plucked out the pieces and put it together in maybe 5 seconds. My 8-yo
daughter came over and, like me, took awhile and had to look at the puzzle
box.

The 6-yo (almost 7) doesn't want anything to do with reading, games (she
hates the competition/winning aspect), or being judged or evaluated in any
way. She's very short-tempered, high strung, and uncooperative. Teachers in
classes she's taken have told me that she gets her feelings hurt a lot and
will storm off if she "messes up" in some way. She's very curious, has lots
of interests, very verbal, and can articulate very clearly her emotions.
BTW, she's left-handed ( I remember some discussion of how this affects
learning.)

Does this sound like any children you know? Is there some way to understand
her better? How can I help her to explore her gifts better? I feel like I
just don't get her or how she learns.

We've been unschooling for a few years now, and I purposely try not to put on
any pressure to be perfect or to not make mistakes. We mainly read together
and do interesting things/go to interesting places as a family.

Thanks for any insights, Kacy






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma *

>>I had a pile of puzzles on the floor and I was trying to put one together.
>>It took me a little while to figure out which pieces went with the picture
>>I wanted and how to orient them. I ended up looking at the puzzle box to
>>figure it out. My 6-yo daughter came over to see what I was doing and
>>just plucked out the pieces and put it together in maybe 5 seconds.>>

Sounds like she's a big-picture thinker. She can evision the end result in
her head and doesn't always need all the steps to get there. That's very
cool. My husband thinks like that too. He's a programmer and just "knows"
where the bugs are when someone is talking design with him. Trouble is, he
sometimes has a hard time explaining to the others just how he knows without
a lot of testing. He says he just sees the program run through to its end in
his head and can visualize where the problems are.

>>The 6-yo (almost 7) doesn't want anything to do with reading, games (she
>>hates the competition/winning aspect), or being judged or evaluated in any
>>way.>>

This is a good thing. :o) Luckily she's home and doesn't have to be
evaluated on a regular basis. As far as the reading goes, six (even almost
7) is still young. I would let her take her time and come to reading at her
own pace. You, of course, can stil surround her with all the joyous
excitement that the printed word can bring. This means lots of access to
books, magazines, lists, notes, posters, cards, crafts, etc.

>>She's very short-tempered, high strung, and uncooperative.>>

Wow! You could be describing my daughter, Casey. Except I would use the
terms intense, focused, and independent. :o) After all, if you're always
thinking, and have great ideas of your own, it's got to be awfully hard to
just do it someone else's way and at their tedious pace. And when they won't
listen just cause you're *only* six, how frustrating!

>>Teachers in classes she's taken have told me that she gets her feelings
>>hurt a lot and will storm off if she "messes up" in some way.>>

Aahhh.....another perfectionist. :o) I know it well and lived it a bit,
although not as intensely as Casey. I think it's hard to have a perfect,
fabulous, grown-up vision in your head and then only 6 year old hands to
complete it. It's frustrating. Lots of love and patience have helped Casey
to mature with this particular trait.

>>She's very curious, has lots of interests, very verbal, and can articulate
>>very clearly her emotions.>>

Great! Keep her talking and keep her mind busy! Casey thrives with lots of
different projects to work on. She NEEDS to have have her mind fed at all
times. It's exhausting, but so worth it and so necessary.

I would recommend reading the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary
Sheedy Kurcinka. It was a life altering book for me in understanding my
fabulous, intense girl.

>>We've been unschooling for a few years now, and I purposely try not to put
>>on any pressure to be perfect or to not make mistakes.>>

I'm sure she's still putting pressure on herself. It may be in her nature,
like it is with Casey. I like to let Casey see me making mistakes. I talk
through them, even show my frustration with myself. I try to model coping
techniques for her.

>>We mainly read together and do interesting things/go to interesting places
>>as a family.>>

Sounds great. Casey also likes LOTS of crafts and writing and drawing. She
likes to create. Maybe your daughter might need a similar outlet. An outlet
for Casey's seemingly limitless physical energy has also been invaluable.
For Casey it's been gymnastics and swimming, but a trip to the park also
improves her mood when she's frustrated.

>>Thanks for any insights, Kacy>>

Hey, you're a Casey/Kacy too! :o)

Life is good.
~Mary


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