Re: 2231 - allowance
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
on 8/12/02 12:15 AM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:
You're trying to teach your kid to think about how to spend a certain
amount, and to live within a budget -- an allowance. Today, in our wussy,
tolerant, child-worship society (I'm guilty, too) we have a hard time with
such limitations. We have credit cards (debt) that stretches our finances
out in time, and therefore keeps things, such as kids' allowances,
"flexible" instead of limited. In other words, they learn that our words
don't mean what they say. ( Hmmmm -- some will say that I'm calling us all
liars in our dealings with our kids. SWSWSW )
Something that might help is telling your kid exactly how much money you
earn and how it all gets spent, or saved, or given away to the needy...
Make a simple balance sheet and show it to them -- the facts.
That's unschooling, that's letting your kids get involved in reality.
That's an example of trusting, and respecting the kids as equal members of
the family. They can handle it.
Even if you don't do that, you can be true to your idea of allowance by
saying -- about that "other thing" that the kid wants after she spends this
week's allowance on a furry animal -- "OOOOO, I like it too, but the money
is already spent, so let's keep this thing in mind for how to spend NEXT
WEEK'S allowance." No explanation needed.
There is a huge benefit in anticipating the joy of having something.
Often it's better than having it.
Ned Vare
"The first half of life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our
children." -- Clarence Darrow
[email protected] wrote:
> Date: Sun, 11 Aug 2002 22:09:51 -0000Ned chirps:
> From: "kayb85" <sheran@...>
> Subject: Re: Math
>
> How do you decide what they have to buy themselves and what you buy
> for them? What I sometimes run into is my daughter will spend her
> money on something--usually yet another stuffed animal. Then we'll
> run across something else she wants--something that I also think it
> would be neat for her to have--and sometimes I end up buying it for
> her anyway. Then I end up thinking what's the point of giving her a
> set amount in the first place?
> Sheila
You're trying to teach your kid to think about how to spend a certain
amount, and to live within a budget -- an allowance. Today, in our wussy,
tolerant, child-worship society (I'm guilty, too) we have a hard time with
such limitations. We have credit cards (debt) that stretches our finances
out in time, and therefore keeps things, such as kids' allowances,
"flexible" instead of limited. In other words, they learn that our words
don't mean what they say. ( Hmmmm -- some will say that I'm calling us all
liars in our dealings with our kids. SWSWSW )
Something that might help is telling your kid exactly how much money you
earn and how it all gets spent, or saved, or given away to the needy...
Make a simple balance sheet and show it to them -- the facts.
That's unschooling, that's letting your kids get involved in reality.
That's an example of trusting, and respecting the kids as equal members of
the family. They can handle it.
Even if you don't do that, you can be true to your idea of allowance by
saying -- about that "other thing" that the kid wants after she spends this
week's allowance on a furry animal -- "OOOOO, I like it too, but the money
is already spent, so let's keep this thing in mind for how to spend NEXT
WEEK'S allowance." No explanation needed.
There is a huge benefit in anticipating the joy of having something.
Often it's better than having it.
Ned Vare
"The first half of life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our
children." -- Clarence Darrow
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/12/02 11:52:02 AM, nedvare@... writes:
<< Today, in our wussy,
tolerant, child-worship society >>
Ned, what do you not hate.
Is there ANYTHING that doesn't earn your vitriol?
I'm really tired of it.
"Wussy" is an insult to women, and you might want to stop insulting women.
<< Today, in our wussy,
tolerant, child-worship society >>
Ned, what do you not hate.
Is there ANYTHING that doesn't earn your vitriol?
I'm really tired of it.
"Wussy" is an insult to women, and you might want to stop insulting women.