Advice/reassurance for a 13yold
zandaniel
Hi everyone
I am a virgin at 'unschooling' and need some help.
Up until this year all my little people (13,9,6) were public schooled
(never knew about 'homeschooling' much less do it myself!) This year
we moved and dd13 entered highschool (year 7 in land of Oz) She hated
it and was miserable. After a month (school starts in Jan here) I
couldn't stand it anymore. She has always liked school so this was
new territory.
I am a firm believer in learning our own life lessons and I thought
she would learn what she needed to from the experience and things
would improve. I was wrong. So I made a soul decision to remove her
from school realising that it was as much my life lesson as hers.
For the first month we followed a schedule of subjects like school,
both of us not knowing any different. I got frustrated with that so
started researching other methods. We have tried Rudolf Steiner and
Charlotte Mason. Even though these worked better and have something
to offer they still weren't quite what I wanted. Then I
discovered 'unschooling'. Something clicked and I knew it was the
way to go.
I have tried to explain the concept of natural learning to dd13 but
she doesn't believe that it could be that 'simple'. I've told her to
forget about subjects and how schools teach, just to do whatever she
feels like doing.
Anyway, sorry for rambling on :), she will do this for a week or so
and then get into a panic about all the things she is not learning
and what she 'should' be 'studying'. She is really scared that she
will be behind her peers, that she will not be able to go to
University if she doesn't follow a cirriculum - Maths is the bigger
(She hates maths!)
I've explained till I'm blue in the face and there is still a 'but'
after each discussion. I was hoping :) that some of you could post
some reassurances to her, especially if you have children her age or
older. Maybe they have some words of wisdom to offer her too?
Her name is Coreyna and she is one of the lights of my life. If she
thrived and was happy doing hours of 'school' bookwork each day I
would do it with her. But she hates it. I don't like seeing her so
scared and anxious about her future.
I asked if she would like to read some posts from people who have
breathed 'life learning' and she is very interested in doing that.
Guess she doesn't trust my judgement or her own :( I think she
thinks I will change my mind again on how we will homeschool as we
have tried so many methods. She doesn't quite get that this isn't
a 'method', just life.
So, pleeeeeeeeeeez help. Your guidance would be very much
appreciated.
Love Joz
PS Pulled other 2 out of the 'system' recently with dh's full
support. They are both 'deschooling' and loving it. Have had others
in the neighbourhood plead with me to homeschool them! There are no
other homeschooled kids in this area. Some parents think I am insane
or just plain stupid - and I've never been happier in my life.
Joz
I am a virgin at 'unschooling' and need some help.
Up until this year all my little people (13,9,6) were public schooled
(never knew about 'homeschooling' much less do it myself!) This year
we moved and dd13 entered highschool (year 7 in land of Oz) She hated
it and was miserable. After a month (school starts in Jan here) I
couldn't stand it anymore. She has always liked school so this was
new territory.
I am a firm believer in learning our own life lessons and I thought
she would learn what she needed to from the experience and things
would improve. I was wrong. So I made a soul decision to remove her
from school realising that it was as much my life lesson as hers.
For the first month we followed a schedule of subjects like school,
both of us not knowing any different. I got frustrated with that so
started researching other methods. We have tried Rudolf Steiner and
Charlotte Mason. Even though these worked better and have something
to offer they still weren't quite what I wanted. Then I
discovered 'unschooling'. Something clicked and I knew it was the
way to go.
I have tried to explain the concept of natural learning to dd13 but
she doesn't believe that it could be that 'simple'. I've told her to
forget about subjects and how schools teach, just to do whatever she
feels like doing.
Anyway, sorry for rambling on :), she will do this for a week or so
and then get into a panic about all the things she is not learning
and what she 'should' be 'studying'. She is really scared that she
will be behind her peers, that she will not be able to go to
University if she doesn't follow a cirriculum - Maths is the bigger
(She hates maths!)
I've explained till I'm blue in the face and there is still a 'but'
after each discussion. I was hoping :) that some of you could post
some reassurances to her, especially if you have children her age or
older. Maybe they have some words of wisdom to offer her too?
Her name is Coreyna and she is one of the lights of my life. If she
thrived and was happy doing hours of 'school' bookwork each day I
would do it with her. But she hates it. I don't like seeing her so
scared and anxious about her future.
I asked if she would like to read some posts from people who have
breathed 'life learning' and she is very interested in doing that.
Guess she doesn't trust my judgement or her own :( I think she
thinks I will change my mind again on how we will homeschool as we
have tried so many methods. She doesn't quite get that this isn't
a 'method', just life.
So, pleeeeeeeeeeez help. Your guidance would be very much
appreciated.
Love Joz
PS Pulled other 2 out of the 'system' recently with dh's full
support. They are both 'deschooling' and loving it. Have had others
in the neighbourhood plead with me to homeschool them! There are no
other homeschooled kids in this area. Some parents think I am insane
or just plain stupid - and I've never been happier in my life.
Joz
[email protected]
Joz --
I have a 14 yo and I think she'd be willing to correspond with your daughter.
She's articulate about learning and unschooling and a VERY
committed-to-unschooling kid.
I'll forward your post to her and ask her to respond.
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have a 14 yo and I think she'd be willing to correspond with your daughter.
She's articulate about learning and unschooling and a VERY
committed-to-unschooling kid.
I'll forward your post to her and ask her to respond.
--pam
National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cheri
Hello Joz
I'm a lurker/learner here on the list. I just thought I'd ask 'where abouts
in Australia are you?' We're in Brisbane and although my children are still
young (boys - 7 years and 22 weeks), we'd be happy to talk 'unschool' with
your daughter and can point you towards some resources (try Stepping Stones
mag for one - some school-at-home types, but others too and very inclusive).
Maybe you can email me off list and I can give you my 'phone number or some
such. Or maybe you live in the next street and can come for tea and I'll be
overjoyed!!!!
All the best
Cheri
I'm a lurker/learner here on the list. I just thought I'd ask 'where abouts
in Australia are you?' We're in Brisbane and although my children are still
young (boys - 7 years and 22 weeks), we'd be happy to talk 'unschool' with
your daughter and can point you towards some resources (try Stepping Stones
mag for one - some school-at-home types, but others too and very inclusive).
Maybe you can email me off list and I can give you my 'phone number or some
such. Or maybe you live in the next street and can come for tea and I'll be
overjoyed!!!!
All the best
Cheri
debi watson
If she is that concerned, have you let her set her own educational goals? For example, if she thinks that huamn biology will be inportant, have her decide WHAT about human biology would be important and what she would like to do about it (research it, attend an autopsy, have a baby -- okay, I'm being really far out here, and very tongue in cheek, but the point I am trying to make is : why does she think a specific area is important? You mentioned Math -- is she thinking it will be important to a future career, or just an entrance subject to University? Or does she really love it? Whatever the answer is will dictate a very different approach. If she is wanting it for a career, have her talk to somebody in that career and see what exactly they use and why -- was it mainly learned "on the job" or is there a specific theorem that is really useful? If it is for university, both of you sit down and talk to a registrar and see what equivalencies would be accepted. If it is an intrinsic interest, how would she care to pursue it? As she begins to "deschool", she will even quit dividing things into discrete subject categories, and start thinking instead about what interests her and why. For example, a passage I just read tonight in a book talks about a girl sitting outside and copying a picture of a bird's skeleton. A boy asks her if she is doing science. She laughed. "See how school shutters you," she said. "I'm drawing, painting, reading, looking. I'm feeling the sun and the air on my skin. I'm listening to the balckbird's song. I'm opening my mind. Ha! School!" Does your daughter like to read? There are numerous living books out there on the topic of homeschooling, and unschooling. I just read one to my kids tonight, called Skellig. Now, I don't know where you are at with the supernatural and fantasy, but the boy's next door neighbor, Mina, is unschooled. He needs to take time off school to deal with his baby sister's illness, and hangs out with Mina. He asks her a lot of the same kinds of questions about how will she learn anything, and she shows him the sculptures she has been making, and shares her research on the archaeopteryx and how birds fly. Then they look at his homework of fill in the blanks and see the contrast. It's a great lesson. However, there is a supernatural character, who seems to be evolving from a human into a bird. I can see where many people would be put off by this, but I really like the homeschool scenes. There is another book called Libby on Wednesday, where the girl is homeschooled, and then tries public school. Her friends are really impressed by the time lines and other projects she worked on while she was at home. You know your daughter best and what will motivate her. Possibly talking to other homeschooled teens will be a reassurance to her. Anyway, I wish you luck -- and if there is anything more concrete I can do (book recommendations or whatever) let me know! Debi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy
**
I've explained till I'm blue in the face and there is still a 'but'
after each discussion. **
Oooooh... this struck a chord of memory. When I was around that age, my
mom says I started all my sentences with "yeah-but". (Pronounced with a
soft "yeah" and a very loud "but", with no pause between the two words
at all.)
I'll have to tell her that even on the other side of the world, where
people are walking around upside down <g>, teenage girls are teenage girls.
And maybe I'll apologize to her for torturing her in this fashion.
Sorry mom!
Betsy
P.S. (I studied hard in college, got pretty good grades, and promptly
forgot everything that I was supposed to be learning right after the
exams. I think college is a scam.)
I've explained till I'm blue in the face and there is still a 'but'
after each discussion. **
Oooooh... this struck a chord of memory. When I was around that age, my
mom says I started all my sentences with "yeah-but". (Pronounced with a
soft "yeah" and a very loud "but", with no pause between the two words
at all.)
I'll have to tell her that even on the other side of the world, where
people are walking around upside down <g>, teenage girls are teenage girls.
And maybe I'll apologize to her for torturing her in this fashion.
Sorry mom!
Betsy
P.S. (I studied hard in college, got pretty good grades, and promptly
forgot everything that I was supposed to be learning right after the
exams. I think college is a scam.)
Tia Leschke
>For example, a passage I just read tonight in a book talks about a girlWhat book? Sounds interesting.
>sitting outside and copying a picture of a bird's skeleton. A boy asks
>her if she is doing science. She laughed. "See how school shutters you,"
>she said. "I'm drawing, painting, reading, looking. I'm feeling the sun
>and the air on my skin. I'm listening to the balckbird's song. I'm
>opening my mind. Ha! School!"
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
debi watson
Skellig, by David Almond. It IS interesting. Debi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>What book? Sounds interesting.Tia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zandaniel
Hi Pam
I would really appreciate that. I know Coreyna would love to talk to
someone who understands and can answer her concerns. Thanks.
Love Jo
I would really appreciate that. I know Coreyna would love to talk to
someone who understands and can answer her concerns. Thanks.
Love Jo
zandaniel
Hi Cheri
We're in Port Stephens NSW (2 hrs north of Sydney) so I guess I'll
have to skip the cuppa! lol Would love to chat with you! My dh
works from home and is on the net 24/7 so the phone is a silent and
useless item these days. Would have more chance of chatting on
messenger or emailing each other lol. I'll email you and maybe we can
tee up a time, K?
Love Joz
We're in Port Stephens NSW (2 hrs north of Sydney) so I guess I'll
have to skip the cuppa! lol Would love to chat with you! My dh
works from home and is on the net 24/7 so the phone is a silent and
useless item these days. Would have more chance of chatting on
messenger or emailing each other lol. I'll email you and maybe we can
tee up a time, K?
Love Joz
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "cheri" <cheri@t...> wrote:
> Hello Joz
>
> I'm a lurker/learner here on the list. I just thought I'd
ask 'where abouts
> in Australia are you?' We're in Brisbane and although my children
are still
> young (boys - 7 years and 22 weeks), we'd be happy to
talk 'unschool' with
> your daughter and can point you towards some resources (try
Stepping Stones
> mag for one - some school-at-home types, but others too and very
inclusive).
> Maybe you can email me off list and I can give you my 'phone number
or some
> such. Or maybe you live in the next street and can come for tea
and I'll be
> overjoyed!!!!
>
> All the best
> Cheri
zandaniel
Hi Debi
inportant, have her decide WHAT about human biology would be
important and what she would like to do about it (research it, attend
an autopsy, have a baby
Not both in the same day surely! lol
she really love it?
She hates maths but feels it is the one subject she can't learn
naturally. She has not decided upon a career yet. I think she needs
some time to work out what her interests are and what she wants from
her life.
interests her and why. For example, a passage I just read tonight in
a book talks about a girl sitting outside and copying a picture of a
bird's skeleton. A boy asks her if she is doing science. She
laughed. "See how school shutters you," she said. "I'm drawing,
painting, reading, looking. I'm feeling the sun and the air on my
skin. I'm listening to the balckbird's song. I'm opening my mind.
Ha! School!" Does your daughter like to read?
Coreyna loves to read. Could you tell me what that book was - it
sounds great!
called Skellig.
This book sounds wonderful. Coreyna loves fantasy books. Can you
tell me who author is etc. If you have time could you jot down a few
other living books that you recommend? Thanks.
Do you know of any message boards etc for homeschooled teens? The
one homeschooled teen in the area went back to highschool this term -
his mother couldn't get him to do his 'bookwork'.
Thanks for your help and advice. Much appreciated.
Love Joz
> If she is that concerned, have you let her set her own educationalgoals? For example, if she thinks that huamn biology will be
inportant, have her decide WHAT about human biology would be
important and what she would like to do about it (research it, attend
an autopsy, have a baby
Not both in the same day surely! lol
> You mentioned Math -- is she thinking it will be important to afuture career, or just an entrance subject to University? Or does
she really love it?
She hates maths but feels it is the one subject she can't learn
naturally. She has not decided upon a career yet. I think she needs
some time to work out what her interests are and what she wants from
her life.
>As she begins to "deschool", she will even quit dividing things intodiscrete subject categories, and start thinking instead about what
interests her and why. For example, a passage I just read tonight in
a book talks about a girl sitting outside and copying a picture of a
bird's skeleton. A boy asks her if she is doing science. She
laughed. "See how school shutters you," she said. "I'm drawing,
painting, reading, looking. I'm feeling the sun and the air on my
skin. I'm listening to the balckbird's song. I'm opening my mind.
Ha! School!" Does your daughter like to read?
Coreyna loves to read. Could you tell me what that book was - it
sounds great!
>There are numerous living books out there on the topic ofhomeschooling, and unschooling. I just read one to my kids tonight,
called Skellig.
This book sounds wonderful. Coreyna loves fantasy books. Can you
tell me who author is etc. If you have time could you jot down a few
other living books that you recommend? Thanks.
>Possibly talking to other homeschooled teens will be a reassuranceto her.
Do you know of any message boards etc for homeschooled teens? The
one homeschooled teen in the area went back to highschool this term -
his mother couldn't get him to do his 'bookwork'.
Thanks for your help and advice. Much appreciated.
Love Joz
zenmomma *
>>This book sounds wonderful. Coreyna loves fantasy books. Can youtell me who author is etc. If you have time could you jot down a few
other living books that you recommend? Thanks.>>
Here are some we've liked in our family. I have a 13 year old boy and an 8
year old girl.
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
The Indian in the Cupboard Series by Lynn Reid Banks
A Wrinkle in Time, etc. by Madeline L'Engle
The Secret Garden by Francis Hodgsen Burnett
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
A Series Of Unfortunate Events series by Lemony Snicket
The Cay by Theodore Taylor
Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
The Redwall Series by Brian Jacques
The Hobbitt, etc by JRR Tolkien
Watership Down by Richard Adams
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
>>Do you know of any message boards etc for homeschooled teens?>>There's a forum for teens on the message boards over at www.unschooling.com.
There's one teen that comes to mind, Sushi, who seems like she would be
wonderful for your daughter to talk to.
Life is good.
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com
debi watson
>> have her decide WHAT about human biology would beimportant and what she would like to do about it (research it, attend
an autopsy, have a baby
*Not both in the same day surely! lol
Depends on how motivated she is! ;o)
*She hates maths but feels it is the one subject she can't learn
naturally.
Ned Vare and Luz Shosie have some very interesting thoughts about learning Math naturally on their site. I don't have the address at my fingertips, but I bet someone else onlist would -- maybe even Ned or Luz!
* She has not decided upon a career yet. I think she needs
some time to work out what her interests are and what she wants from
her life.
And that's where unschooling comes in -- it will give her time to suss out what she really wants, and give her lots of opportunities to try so many varied things.
*Coreyna loves to read. Could you tell me what that book was - it
sounds great!
Skellig, by David Almond
*Do you know of any message boards etc for homeschooled teens?
I don't know of a specific board, but on another list I am on, www.Homefires.com
-- go E-Mail Lists which is at the very bottom of the left hand side, then #2 Homefires Journal Discussion List -- there is a homeschooled teen, aged 16, who is entering college and has said she would love to answer any questions about college for homeschooling families. It is in the archives, but was referred to today by another member, so you can get the email address there.
*The one homeschooled teen in the area went back to highschool this term -
his mother couldn't get him to do his 'bookwork'.
Oh, and the teacher will be better able to motivate him? :o)
I couldn't get my kids to their bookwork either -- now we unschool and I am amazed at the self-motivation they are both showing! The 9 yr old is designing his own Legolas costume (He has just discovered Lord of the Rings and is absolutely entranced), trying to build an Ancient Egyptian shaduf (an irrigation device), refining a balance scale he created, inventing a gamebook based on Star Wars.... but show him a text book and he becomes absolutely mutinous! The 7 yr old is also creating a Star Wars gamebook, making clay floor tiles based on Egyptian pattern, building a space station out of Lego, writing her own "EasyBake Oven" cookbook based on her own invented recipes, and trying to figure out how to sew a princess outfit out of an old sheet.... who has time for school? Debi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mary krzyzanowski
we've enjoyed listening to books by Lloyd Alexander.
Mary-NY
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
Mary-NY
>From: "zenmomma *" <zenmomma@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Advice/reassurance for a 13yold
>Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 19:52:46 -0600
>
>
>
> >>This book sounds wonderful. Coreyna loves fantasy books. Can you
>tell me who author is etc. If you have time could you jot down a few
>other living books that you recommend? Thanks.>>
>
>Here are some we've liked in our family. I have a 13 year old boy and an 8
>year old girl.
>
>The Giver by Lois Lowry
>Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
>The Indian in the Cupboard Series by Lynn Reid Banks
>A Wrinkle in Time, etc. by Madeline L'Engle
>The Secret Garden by Francis Hodgsen Burnett
>Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
>The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
>A Series Of Unfortunate Events series by Lemony Snicket
>The Cay by Theodore Taylor
>Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
>The Redwall Series by Brian Jacques
>The Hobbitt, etc by JRR Tolkien
>Watership Down by Richard Adams
>The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams
>The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman
>
> >>Do you know of any message boards etc for homeschooled teens?>>
>
>There's a forum for teens on the message boards over at
>www.unschooling.com.
>There's one teen that comes to mind, Sushi, who seems like she would be
>wonderful for your daughter to talk to.
>
>Life is good.
>~Mary
>
>
>_________________________________________________________________
>Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com
>
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
> Ned Vare and Luz Shosie have some very interesting thoughts about learningA Few Words About Unschoooing Math
> Math naturally on their site. I don't have the address at my fingertips, but
> I bet someone else onlist would -- maybe even Ned or Luz!
>
>
is on our web site -- Unschoolers Unlimited
>http://www.borntoexplore.org/unschool<And from Shira J. Boss in *The Christian Science Monitor*, February 12, 2002
*Real life math: "Help children feel at home with money ....
Speak up about money early and often .... involve them in the family's
finances .... Give children an allowance ... make them responsible for
paying for certain things so they can learn about budgeting and saving ....
Open a savings account in the child's own name .... involve them in
investing, perhaps by using mock accounts that some websites offer ...."
visit
www.ntrbonline.org, www.themint.org, www.nefe. org
Luz