"there," or "not there"
Luz Shosie and Ned Vare
Dear Unschoolers and others not yet "there,"
Luz and I have been hosting gatherings of homeschoolers at our home for
about eighteen years. It began with wanting to meet with others doing
similar things. As followers of the writings of John Holt, we were, and
still are, surprised to find so many people who believe that homeschooling
actually means "doing school at home."
In our travels, we've met many people who agree with us (and Holt), but
along the way it has become evident that many people (most, in fact) simply
cannot imagine growing up without having a school-like experience. The first
impulse of many people who are dissatisfied with their public school is to
do the same thing at home. They haven't yet seen the truth in Holt's message
that IT'S THE SCHOOLING THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
That exact thing happened to me twenty-five years ago. When my older son
(then 9yo) came to live with me, I sent for the box of books (from Calvert).
On the second morning, my son looked up and said, "Dad, this is stupid." I
replied, "You're right, let's send it back for a refund and go out and
play." He agreed, and that's what we did.
Luckily for me, the transition from school-at-home to unschooling was quick
and easy. For others, it's not so...the fears, intimidation and pressures to
have a "school" experience (no matter how stupid it is) are strong, and it
usually takes time and courage and unusual trust of both one's self and
one's child to jump off that cliff into total unschooling.
In our gatherings, we know that some families are using school books, and
that some children are more secure if they occasionally fill a workbook or
take a test or read a textbook. So what. We don't give out pedigrees, we
don't check anyone's teeth or diet or degree of unschooling.
To us, UNschooling is a weaning process that parents need to go through. We
(parents) need to learn that the school experience is not only unnecessary,
but can be, and often is, damaging both for children and parents. Therefore,
Unschooling simply means learning not to take schooling seriously. I believe
that, with that attitude, many families have gradually weaned themselves
from "schooling their kids" to a much more relaxed form of homeschooling.
Not everyone can get "there" quickly and/or easily.
For Luz and me, unschooling was extreme, but not fanatical. It was merely in
agreement with our kid's desires. He liked Churchill's expression, "I love
to learn, but hate being taught." Somehow, we learned to trust him early on,
that he could be in charge of his own learning. By not going to school, he
had plenty of time to do it. He's now 23, graduated from college Magna Cum
Laude, and seems to have good prospects.
People tell us..."Well, you are good parents and Cassidy must be bright."
The one thing I have come to realize is, "Nobody dumbed him down."
Ned Vare
Luz and I have been hosting gatherings of homeschoolers at our home for
about eighteen years. It began with wanting to meet with others doing
similar things. As followers of the writings of John Holt, we were, and
still are, surprised to find so many people who believe that homeschooling
actually means "doing school at home."
In our travels, we've met many people who agree with us (and Holt), but
along the way it has become evident that many people (most, in fact) simply
cannot imagine growing up without having a school-like experience. The first
impulse of many people who are dissatisfied with their public school is to
do the same thing at home. They haven't yet seen the truth in Holt's message
that IT'S THE SCHOOLING THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
That exact thing happened to me twenty-five years ago. When my older son
(then 9yo) came to live with me, I sent for the box of books (from Calvert).
On the second morning, my son looked up and said, "Dad, this is stupid." I
replied, "You're right, let's send it back for a refund and go out and
play." He agreed, and that's what we did.
Luckily for me, the transition from school-at-home to unschooling was quick
and easy. For others, it's not so...the fears, intimidation and pressures to
have a "school" experience (no matter how stupid it is) are strong, and it
usually takes time and courage and unusual trust of both one's self and
one's child to jump off that cliff into total unschooling.
In our gatherings, we know that some families are using school books, and
that some children are more secure if they occasionally fill a workbook or
take a test or read a textbook. So what. We don't give out pedigrees, we
don't check anyone's teeth or diet or degree of unschooling.
To us, UNschooling is a weaning process that parents need to go through. We
(parents) need to learn that the school experience is not only unnecessary,
but can be, and often is, damaging both for children and parents. Therefore,
Unschooling simply means learning not to take schooling seriously. I believe
that, with that attitude, many families have gradually weaned themselves
from "schooling their kids" to a much more relaxed form of homeschooling.
Not everyone can get "there" quickly and/or easily.
For Luz and me, unschooling was extreme, but not fanatical. It was merely in
agreement with our kid's desires. He liked Churchill's expression, "I love
to learn, but hate being taught." Somehow, we learned to trust him early on,
that he could be in charge of his own learning. By not going to school, he
had plenty of time to do it. He's now 23, graduated from college Magna Cum
Laude, and seems to have good prospects.
People tell us..."Well, you are good parents and Cassidy must be bright."
The one thing I have come to realize is, "Nobody dumbed him down."
Ned Vare