teachers like me?
[email protected]
Sherry,
In response (or defense) to "teachers like me"
I am not like the rest!!!!
You assumed I am due to my statement about "I'm sorry"
Come on...
You aren't aware that I often have the mean child play with the other kid,
with me there.. eat lunch together... work mediation.. not simply an "I'm
sorry" and the problem is fixed and I turned my back and go on with my
business.
That is how most of my collegues are; I am NOT one of those.
So, there are some exceptions to the stereotypical classing of teachers.
In my classroom are a few of the following things:
* half room with no lighting
* a rug mat for kids to remove shoes
* refrigerator for kids who choose to bring snacks (that need refrigeration)
You might observe in my classroom:
* Kids laying on the floor-- under tables...
* Kids twirling when reading
* Buddy help
* Spelling testing NOT done of paper but given orally to me or buddy..
Just a small window into "my teaching world" in public school.
You'd have to really know me, and I believe then you wouldn't have lumped me
with the rest.
But I understand your stereotyping.
Remember, we unschool our kids too! :-)
Bj
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
In response (or defense) to "teachers like me"
I am not like the rest!!!!
You assumed I am due to my statement about "I'm sorry"
Come on...
You aren't aware that I often have the mean child play with the other kid,
with me there.. eat lunch together... work mediation.. not simply an "I'm
sorry" and the problem is fixed and I turned my back and go on with my
business.
That is how most of my collegues are; I am NOT one of those.
So, there are some exceptions to the stereotypical classing of teachers.
In my classroom are a few of the following things:
* half room with no lighting
* a rug mat for kids to remove shoes
* refrigerator for kids who choose to bring snacks (that need refrigeration)
You might observe in my classroom:
* Kids laying on the floor-- under tables...
* Kids twirling when reading
* Buddy help
* Spelling testing NOT done of paper but given orally to me or buddy..
Just a small window into "my teaching world" in public school.
You'd have to really know me, and I believe then you wouldn't have lumped me
with the rest.
But I understand your stereotyping.
Remember, we unschool our kids too! :-)
Bj
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/30/02 12:27:51 PM Central Daylight Time, Bj4kids@...
writes:
role? How do you do it? The reason I ask is I know many moms hs their kids
and work outside the home as well, they just work more unconventional hours.
I have often wondered how people who work the more conventional 9 to 5 type
job do it. The question isn't a reflection on that you are a teacher, just on
how you work hsing in with more conventional work hours.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Just a small window into "my teaching world" in public school.Do you unschool after you get off work? Or does your husband take the primary
> You'd have to really know me, and I believe then you wouldn't have lumped
> me
> with the rest.
> But I understand your stereotyping.
>
> Remember, we unschool our kids too! :-)
>
> Bj
>
role? How do you do it? The reason I ask is I know many moms hs their kids
and work outside the home as well, they just work more unconventional hours.
I have often wondered how people who work the more conventional 9 to 5 type
job do it. The question isn't a reflection on that you are a teacher, just on
how you work hsing in with more conventional work hours.
~Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/30/02 1:27:39 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Bj4kids@...
writes:
"
Dear BJ,
I am sorry for being so harsh in response to your well intended words. I
still have a great deal of bitterness about the cruelty that my son was
subjected to.
Since you are a school teacher, and I have your ear, I'd like to tell you
some of what I think might help the situation in schools today. First problem
I believe is that we seem to be living in a time when it is somehow
politically not correct to place blame. If you look into the reality of
bullying, it is quite different from a typical squabble between playmates. A
squabble generally erupts because of a temporary misunderstanding between a
couple of friends. If the adult intervenes, mediates and helps the children
to figure out where they went wrong, the problem is usually quickly resolved
and everyone resumes playing.
In the case of bullying, you have usually a child with poor social skills and
usually "different" in some way. The difference in my son's case is that he
is more advanced intellectually than his age mates, and behind in emotional
maturity, and thinks way outside of the box. Everything he says is considered
weird and therefore held in contempt. The "difference" can be just about
anything though--race, religion, clothing, culture, body size, you name it.
The bully on the other hand is usually someone who may at first feel inferior
for whatever reason. He/She needs to find someone even lower in the pecking
order so that he/she can think "Well I may be a loser, but at least I'm not
Weird, black, Hindu, unfashionable, listen to stupid music, fat/puny, you
name it and therefore I am one step up from the bottom of the heap" "I'm
better." Pretty soon the bully realizes that picking on the "different" one,
is not only useful as a tool for self social promotion but it gives one a
heady feeling of POWER! We all know how addictive power is. The bully has now
made the mental transition from "I'm inferior" to "I'm superior." We are now
far from the realm of misunderstandings where a little heart to heart and
play session will solve anything. Unfortunately the adults who could actually
intervene and put a stop to all of this are frequently clueless as to what is
really going on because they either believe that all youthful disagreements
are innocent misunderstandings, are not paying attention to the situation
and/or don't give a damn. Kids really can be extremely mean, just because
they derive pleasure from feeling superior. This is bad and evil behavior,
and should be called such, at whatever age. You need to truly identify a
problem before you can deal with it. Sadistic adults, thugs, wife beaters,
and unethical CEOs don't just appear out of nowhere. They are raised and
groomed by well meaning clueless or careless adults.
How to deal with all of this... First, adults must have many many discussions
about the fact that just because the majority thinks or acts a certain way,
does not mean they are somehow superior, or correct. A great method in
schools would be regular circle discussions involving all of the kids.(
Bullying usually occurs in front of an audience of other kids, and frequently
as a way to impress them) led by an adult who knows the score and who
introduces provocative subjects such as "What would you say or do if you saw
a kid kick another kid? What if the kid who had been kicked was somebody who
is considered a nerd? What if the nerd had said something nasty or stupid,
would he deserve it then? Why do you think the nerd might have said something
nasty? Do you think it might have been because he might have seen the other
kid mimicking him?" Other examples of subjects could cover basic right vs.
wrong issues such as "If someone took $20.00 out of someone's backpack, would
you consider that stealing? If someone took a pencil out of someone's
backpack, would that be considered stealing?"
Next, adults have to actually pay attention. Lastly, once there is a general
consensus about what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is
bad, then there must be some reliable rewards and punishments/consequences.
Most people in power unfortunately will never relinquish power unless forced,
even though they may know that they are abusing that power. A bully must be
put into a position where he/she only stands to lose when they bully. That is
the way to get them off of their power trip. The other kids and adults are
really critical, because they can boo, applaud or silently give their consent
to the bully. They can't boo the bad behavior and have a positive influence
if they can't see bad and evil behavior for what it really is. Evil requires
an atmosphere of ignorance and apathy to flourish.
Sherry
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
"
> In response (or defense) to "teachers like me"BJ"
> I am not like the rest!!!!
> You assumed I am due to my statement about "I'm sorry"
> Come on...
> You aren't aware that I often have the mean child play with the other kid,
> with me there.. eat lunch together... work mediation.. not simply an "I'm
> sorry" and the problem is fixed and I turned my back and go on with my
> business.
> That is how most of my collegues are; I am NOT one of those.
> So, there are some exceptions to the stereotypical classing of teachers.
>
Dear BJ,
I am sorry for being so harsh in response to your well intended words. I
still have a great deal of bitterness about the cruelty that my son was
subjected to.
Since you are a school teacher, and I have your ear, I'd like to tell you
some of what I think might help the situation in schools today. First problem
I believe is that we seem to be living in a time when it is somehow
politically not correct to place blame. If you look into the reality of
bullying, it is quite different from a typical squabble between playmates. A
squabble generally erupts because of a temporary misunderstanding between a
couple of friends. If the adult intervenes, mediates and helps the children
to figure out where they went wrong, the problem is usually quickly resolved
and everyone resumes playing.
In the case of bullying, you have usually a child with poor social skills and
usually "different" in some way. The difference in my son's case is that he
is more advanced intellectually than his age mates, and behind in emotional
maturity, and thinks way outside of the box. Everything he says is considered
weird and therefore held in contempt. The "difference" can be just about
anything though--race, religion, clothing, culture, body size, you name it.
The bully on the other hand is usually someone who may at first feel inferior
for whatever reason. He/She needs to find someone even lower in the pecking
order so that he/she can think "Well I may be a loser, but at least I'm not
Weird, black, Hindu, unfashionable, listen to stupid music, fat/puny, you
name it and therefore I am one step up from the bottom of the heap" "I'm
better." Pretty soon the bully realizes that picking on the "different" one,
is not only useful as a tool for self social promotion but it gives one a
heady feeling of POWER! We all know how addictive power is. The bully has now
made the mental transition from "I'm inferior" to "I'm superior." We are now
far from the realm of misunderstandings where a little heart to heart and
play session will solve anything. Unfortunately the adults who could actually
intervene and put a stop to all of this are frequently clueless as to what is
really going on because they either believe that all youthful disagreements
are innocent misunderstandings, are not paying attention to the situation
and/or don't give a damn. Kids really can be extremely mean, just because
they derive pleasure from feeling superior. This is bad and evil behavior,
and should be called such, at whatever age. You need to truly identify a
problem before you can deal with it. Sadistic adults, thugs, wife beaters,
and unethical CEOs don't just appear out of nowhere. They are raised and
groomed by well meaning clueless or careless adults.
How to deal with all of this... First, adults must have many many discussions
about the fact that just because the majority thinks or acts a certain way,
does not mean they are somehow superior, or correct. A great method in
schools would be regular circle discussions involving all of the kids.(
Bullying usually occurs in front of an audience of other kids, and frequently
as a way to impress them) led by an adult who knows the score and who
introduces provocative subjects such as "What would you say or do if you saw
a kid kick another kid? What if the kid who had been kicked was somebody who
is considered a nerd? What if the nerd had said something nasty or stupid,
would he deserve it then? Why do you think the nerd might have said something
nasty? Do you think it might have been because he might have seen the other
kid mimicking him?" Other examples of subjects could cover basic right vs.
wrong issues such as "If someone took $20.00 out of someone's backpack, would
you consider that stealing? If someone took a pencil out of someone's
backpack, would that be considered stealing?"
Next, adults have to actually pay attention. Lastly, once there is a general
consensus about what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is
bad, then there must be some reliable rewards and punishments/consequences.
Most people in power unfortunately will never relinquish power unless forced,
even though they may know that they are abusing that power. A bully must be
put into a position where he/she only stands to lose when they bully. That is
the way to get them off of their power trip. The other kids and adults are
really critical, because they can boo, applaud or silently give their consent
to the bully. They can't boo the bad behavior and have a positive influence
if they can't see bad and evil behavior for what it really is. Evil requires
an atmosphere of ignorance and apathy to flourish.
Sherry
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
First, you're telling a teacher something teachers know, about the difference
between squables and bullying.
You expect teachers to deal with, prevent or cure bullying? Bosses don't.
The military doesn't. The police can't. Why do you think teachers can?
And this is not as correct or as simple as it seems to you:
-=-
Sadistic adults, thugs, wife beaters,
and unethical CEOs don't just appear out of nowhere. They are raised and
groomed by well meaning clueless or careless adults.-=-
Sometimes by well-meaning and malicious adults.
Or sometimes the child gets a genetic package from sadistic unethical parents
and grandparents, and a bad example of behavior (and encouragement to follow
right along) from a violent thug of a parent (or two), and are ENCOURAGED to
get into college and a job by whatever means, and to ruthlessly obtain and
keep money. In the United States that is considered by most people to be
"success."
I don't like it, but I can't fix it.
The best I can do is help my children be prepared to be happy whether they're
rich or not. And I can stand up to people I think are being unethical,
whether it's in clubs or social groups, or on bulletin boards or e-mail loops.
And what happens when someone says "I don't think that behavior is right"?
They are ostracized, insulted and ridiculed. Even if they're teachers.
Sandra
between squables and bullying.
You expect teachers to deal with, prevent or cure bullying? Bosses don't.
The military doesn't. The police can't. Why do you think teachers can?
And this is not as correct or as simple as it seems to you:
-=-
Sadistic adults, thugs, wife beaters,
and unethical CEOs don't just appear out of nowhere. They are raised and
groomed by well meaning clueless or careless adults.-=-
Sometimes by well-meaning and malicious adults.
Or sometimes the child gets a genetic package from sadistic unethical parents
and grandparents, and a bad example of behavior (and encouragement to follow
right along) from a violent thug of a parent (or two), and are ENCOURAGED to
get into college and a job by whatever means, and to ruthlessly obtain and
keep money. In the United States that is considered by most people to be
"success."
I don't like it, but I can't fix it.
The best I can do is help my children be prepared to be happy whether they're
rich or not. And I can stand up to people I think are being unethical,
whether it's in clubs or social groups, or on bulletin boards or e-mail loops.
And what happens when someone says "I don't think that behavior is right"?
They are ostracized, insulted and ridiculed. Even if they're teachers.
Sandra