Saddle Mountain Academy

Sandra,
<<I loved the post but the end made me think your revelation wasn't yet
illuminating your whole life with kids! <g>>>

OOO please elaborate.

<<And the kids don't necessarily need bought kits to learn in surprising ways,
so don't just wait for the order to come in, but start to give them other
things, ideas, and opportunities.>>

I'm trying... I am still trying to understand unschooling. I hear that we are to guide our kids,
that we are to supply the "tools"..but then you say give them other things and ideas. I'm not quite sure
on what those "other things" are. I was "blown away" by discovering where their interests really lie, but I also
know that I can't keep buying "stuff" to fit their interests. We are getting a bunny and guinea pig at the end of the month
but instead of going out and buying a ready made cage we are going to build and outdoor hutch. I hope this opens itself to
other building projects and perhaps bird feeders, etc. Is this what you mean by giving them "other things".

I guess growing up in public school and teaching preschool and preK, has warped my brain into thinking I have to have
a schedule and know what we are going to cover next month or two months from now. We are used to schooling
at home in a relaxed method for the last 4 years. It's very difficult to give that up and on top of that
acquire more patience.

Please, I hope everyone keeps discussing their days triumphs and also their struggles so I can hear advice on various situations.

Thank you!!
Sue





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/16/02 1:44:57 PM, saddlemtn@... writes:

<< I hear that we are to guide our kids,
that we are to supply the "tools"..but then you say give them other things
and ideas. >>

Things other than school-style science kits.

<< I was "blown away" by discovering where their interests really lie, but I
also
know that I can't keep buying "stuff" to fit their interests. >>

There is stuff in your house already. There is stuff in the grocery store, at
thrift stores, at other people's houses, in museums, in your yard, in parks,
trees, movies, books, imaginations.

Look everywhere, not just in educational supply catalogs.
In fact, it might be an aid to quicker unschooling if you prevent looking at
anything you now consider "educational" until after the point when you see
that those things are in some cases counter-natural-learning, and that
"educational" can douse the fire of learning.

<<We are getting a bunny and guinea pig at the end of the month
but instead of going out and buying a ready made cage we are going to build
and outdoor hutch. I hope this opens itself to
other building projects and perhaps bird feeders, etc. Is this what you mean
by giving them "other things". >>

It's not bad, but it's mechanical and measured compared to the kind of
learning and connecting you will be able to do when you get really good at
this!

A guinea pig could lead to animal behavioral questions, weaving, anatomy,
inter-species mind-meld experiments <g>), an interest in evolution, tracking,
genetics, and that's without even taking him out of the cage.

<<I guess growing up in public school and teaching preschool and preK, has
warped my brain into thinking I have to have a schedule and know what we are
going to cover next month or two months from now.>>

Yes. Lots of people, don't feel bad.
But if you decide now what you're going "to cover" next month, you will
choose one thing out of a billion instead of being open to a hundred of them
pleasantly surprising you.

<<We are used to schooling at home in a relaxed method for the last 4 years.
It's very difficult to give that up and on top of that acquire more patience.
>>

If you acquire patience first, it will be a cinch to "give that up." You
don't have to give it up as one subject area or project, and then "on top of
that" begin a project designed to acquire more patience.

Patience and understanding and thought are just readjustments of your
behavior and thinking. You don't acquire them, you put them into practice.
It's not very difficult to make your decisions today based on what you
believe is good for your family.

<< <<I loved the post but the end made me think your revelation wasn't yet
illuminating your whole life with kids! <g>>>

<<OOO please elaborate.>>

You said you had a revelation, which is something was revealed.

I think you showed a corner of darkness when you referred to whatever I
quoted when I made my statement. I wish you had quoted more so I didn't have
to go back and look.

Okay. I bet it was this:

-=- Now if I could only get my youngest to read!! Life would be easier. -=-

When you learn that she can read without you getting her to do it, life will
be easier.

Sandra

[email protected]

On Sun, 16 Jun 2002 13:43:50 -0600 "Saddle Mountain Academy"
<saddlemtn@...> writes:

> I'm trying... I am still trying to understand unschooling. I hear
> that we are to guide our kids,
> that we are to supply the "tools".

I don't think of what I do as "guiding". I'll show or tell Rain how to do
something if she asks, or if it seems that she wants to know, but I do
that with a lot of people, and they show me how to do things.

> I guess growing up in public school and teaching preschool and preK,
> has warped my brain into thinking I have to have
> a schedule and know what we are going to cover next month or two
> months from now.

I have no idea what we'll be doing within the next couple of months.
Well, I'll take that back, I do know that Rain will be spending all of
July at a theater class, at her insistence, and we've planned a few
playdates and parties and softball games and a camping trip for this
month... but that's not stuff we're "covering", it's stuff we want to do.
I imagine Rain will cover some of the state standards for PE during
softball, and some of the language arts standards during theater class,
but I really don't care. She loves doing it, she's excited about going,
she wants to be there, and she's learning and growing and being.

Last week she caught a little bluegill and was thrilled. She made her dad
a father's day card in a secret code of her own creation. She baked a
cake. She swam at our club with a friend. She played air hockey at the
club. She prepared a garden plot and planted pumpkins. She made 5 outs
during one softball game (as fielder, not batter). She read more about
orphan trains. She memorized the words to Plant a Radish, and sang along
with the record (yup, an old 33). She digitally photographed the two baby
rats we're trying to give away (fingers crossed, they may have a new
home). She played Space Beans with some friends. She picked out a copy of
Oliver Twist at a library used book store. I'm not sure if she plans to
read it now, or someday, or ever. It's all good.... she's a happy kid,
she functions well in the world, and has the skills to do what she loves
doing. Her softball coach was talking to me at the last game about how
hard she works, and she does - anything she wants to master, she will
master. OTOH, she still writes the letter Z backwards almost always, and
that's okay too. She doesn't care about that now.

Most of that is stuff I didn't know 2 weeks ago that she would be doing.
I didn't buy any "tools", except Oliver Twist, which cost .50. I truly
don't "hope" that her current interests will lead to specific ends, most
of the time - and when I do it's usually for purely selfish reasons, like
I hope she wants to go fishing again because I like to go fishing too,
and it's easier and more fun to bring her than to leave her with someone
for a few days.

Dar

Amy Thomlinson

Other things for my family are things like boxes for
them to create things all on their own or small hand
shovels for them to dig and find worms maybe a very
small garden plot for them to plant things (what they
want they will learn what grows in the garden
conditions by trial and error) Paper airplanes and
books on origami give them tools by exposing them
to the possibility of things and if they like it they
will do it if not you haven't wasted alot of money
on things they are interested in yet. Then let them
explore every aspect of things they find interesting
read the history of things etc. Imagination is the
greatest teacher.
--- Saddle Mountain Academy <saddlemtn@...>
wrote:
> Sandra,
> <<I loved the post but the end made me think your
> revelation wasn't yet
> illuminating your whole life with kids! <g>>>
>
> OOO please elaborate.
>
> <<And the kids don't necessarily need bought kits to
> learn in surprising ways,
> so don't just wait for the order to come in, but
> start to give them other
> things, ideas, and opportunities.>>
>
> I'm trying... I am still trying to understand
> unschooling. I hear that we are to guide our kids,
> that we are to supply the "tools"..but then you say
> give them other things and ideas. I'm not quite
> sure
> on what those "other things" are. I was "blown
> away" by discovering where their interests really
> lie, but I also
> know that I can't keep buying "stuff" to fit their
> interests. We are getting a bunny and guinea pig at
> the end of the month
> but instead of going out and buying a ready made
> cage we are going to build and outdoor hutch. I
> hope this opens itself to
> other building projects and perhaps bird feeders,
> etc. Is this what you mean by giving them "other
> things".
>
> I guess growing up in public school and teaching
> preschool and preK, has warped my brain into
> thinking I have to have
> a schedule and know what we are going to cover next
> month or two months from now. We are used to
> schooling
> at home in a relaxed method for the last 4 years.
> It's very difficult to give that up and on top of
> that
> acquire more patience.
>
> Please, I hope everyone keeps discussing their days
> triumphs and also their struggles so I can hear
> advice on various situations.
>
> Thank you!!
> Sue
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been
> removed]
>
>
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=====
If God meant for us to go around naked we would be born that way!

__________________________________________________
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kayb85

I think to get to the point at which many on this list are , you have
to give up worrying about what they are learning and if they are
learning. You have to acknowledge that they will learn if you just
love them and enjoy them. Do things with them because it's something
they enjoy, or something you both enjoy doing together--educational
content is irrelevant. Only buy them things if it's something that
you know they would enjoy, not because of the educational value.
Kind of like how you wouldn't buy your husband a book because you
think it might be educational for him. The only reason you would buy
your husband a book is because you think it's something that would
interest him or give him pleasure. The book you buy for your husband
might have some educational value, but that's not why you bought it.
That is the same type of guidelines a total unschooler would follow
when buying a book for their kids.
Sheila



--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Saddle Mountain Academy"
<saddlemtn@e...> wrote:
> Sandra,
> <<I loved the post but the end made me think your revelation
wasn't yet
> illuminating your whole life with kids! <g>>>
>
> OOO please elaborate.
>
> <<And the kids don't necessarily need bought kits to learn in
surprising ways,
> so don't just wait for the order to come in, but start to give them
other
> things, ideas, and opportunities.>>
>
> I'm trying... I am still trying to understand unschooling. I hear
that we are to guide our kids,
> that we are to supply the "tools"..but then you say give them other
things and ideas. I'm not quite sure
> on what those "other things" are. I was "blown away" by
discovering where their interests really lie, but I also
> know that I can't keep buying "stuff" to fit their interests. We
are getting a bunny and guinea pig at the end of the month
> but instead of going out and buying a ready made cage we are going
to build and outdoor hutch. I hope this opens itself to
> other building projects and perhaps bird feeders, etc. Is this
what you mean by giving them "other things".
>
> I guess growing up in public school and teaching preschool and
preK, has warped my brain into thinking I have to have
> a schedule and know what we are going to cover next month or two
months from now. We are used to schooling
> at home in a relaxed method for the last 4 years. It's very
difficult to give that up and on top of that
> acquire more patience.
>
> Please, I hope everyone keeps discussing their days triumphs and
also their struggles so I can hear advice on various situations.
>
> Thank you!!
> Sue
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

KT

>
>
>Kind of like how you wouldn't buy your husband a book because you
>think it might be educational for him. The only reason you would buy
>your husband a book is because you think it's something that would
>interest him or give him pleasure.
>

I *do* buy my husband "educational" books. :) Just the other day I
bought him a giant Chilton manual at a garage sale (car repair). I
bought him a home networking book a few weeks ago.

I bought Will a book about how to play baseball, too.

But I didn't just buy them thinking that my husband needed to learn to
work on my car, or network our computers together, or that Will needed
to give up soccer and learn baseball (he already did that <g>). The
books fit into the context of our lives. And Charles is free to remove
and rebuild the engine on that fifty dollar '86 Colt Vista in the garage
without any help from a manual if he so chooses.

I think that's what you're getting at.

Tuck

Amy Thomlinson

I love this post!
--- kayb85 <sheran@...> wrote:
> I think to get to the point at which many on this
> list are , you have
> to give up worrying about what they are learning and
> if they are
> learning. You have to acknowledge that they will
> learn if you just
> love them and enjoy them. Do things with them
> because it's something
> they enjoy, or something you both enjoy doing
> together--educational
> content is irrelevant. Only buy them things if it's
> something that
> you know they would enjoy, not because of the
> educational value.
> Kind of like how you wouldn't buy your husband a
> book because you
> think it might be educational for him. The only
> reason you would buy
> your husband a book is because you think it's
> something that would
> interest him or give him pleasure. The book you buy
> for your husband
> might have some educational value, but that's not
> why you bought it.
> That is the same type of guidelines a total
> unschooler would follow
> when buying a book for their kids.
> Sheila
>
>
>

=====
If God meant for us to go around naked we would be born that way!

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/16/02 7:07:09 PM Central Daylight Time, sheran@...
writes:


> I think to get to the point at which many on this list are , you have
> to give up worrying about what they are learning and if they are
> learning. You have to acknowledge that they will learn if you just
> love them and enjoy them. Do things with them because it's something
> they enjoy, or something you both enjoy doing together--educational
> content is irrelevant. Only buy them things if it's something that
> you know they would enjoy, not because of the educational value.
> Kind of like how you wouldn't buy your husband a book because you
> think it might be educational for him. The only reason you would buy
> your husband a book is because you think it's something that would
> interest him or give him pleasure. The book you buy for your husband
> might have some educational value, but that's not why you bought it.
> That is the same type of guidelines a total unschooler would follow
> when buying a book for their kids.
> Sheila

This is a great post!!! OTOH, sometimes I get to the point that I don't buy
things because I think of them as too "educational" and forget that just
because something is more on the schoolish side, doesn't mean that it is
necessarily bad.

This afternoon, I brought out the Mindware catalog. I was amazed at some of
the things Moly and Jack picked out, some of which because of the age/grade
levels posted I would have passed by. Jack wants a game called Tantrix
(grades 5 and up, he is 6) I wouldn't have picked it out for him, because I
looked at the "age guide" and passed it by as something too logically
advanced for him. Maybe it will be, and then maybe he will modify the "rules"
to fit his abilities. All I know is that he says it looks like something he
would like. Then Darin brought out the McGraw Hill catalog (we started
getting it a year or so ago when Darin still wasn't sold on the unschooling
idea, and wanted me to buy more "educational" books.) I looked at it and
rolled my eyes at him. But he gave it to the kids and gave me a *just wait*
look. Moly picked out two things in it. One was a learn to speak Spanish book
with flash cards and the other was a book on prominent African Americans and
events. When I asked why she had picked these two books, she said she wanted
to know more about one of her new ball teammates. She and the rest of her
ball team were invited to his birthday party, and both his grandmothers fixed
ethnic foods for the kids and they played games and music that Moly hadn't
heard of or played before.

So even though we want to pick games and books because our children are
interested in them not because they are educational, we also don't want to go
so far as to disregard things *because* they are educational.
~Nancy




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma *

>>I'm trying... I am still trying to understand unschooling. I hear that we
>>are to guide our kids, that we are to supply the "tools"..but then you say
>>give them other things and ideas. I'm not quite sure
on what those "other things" are.>>

The "other things" are the stuff of life. :o) Give them trips to new places,
time with new people, new textures to touch and new stuff to read.

Go for walks out in nature and pay attention to what your kids are noticing.
Maybe they'd like to catch a ladybug, play in the stream or gather some new
rocks and leaves. Maybe they'd just like to stare up at the clouds. Maybe
it's the perfect moment to ask you that relationship question that's been
bugging them. If you don't plan this time in a certain way, it can become
anything. Let them play and explore and rest and talk and gather and sort
and pretend to their heart's delight.

Maybe you can have them decide which cereal or yogurt to pick out at the
store. *You* can notice if they need help with pricing, volume, nutritional
value, whatever. In fact a trip to a new grocery store can be an adventure
in itself. It's amazing how accustomed we get to our own little world of
food. A visit to an ethnic grocery, wharehouse store or natural food co-op
will spark all sorts of new ideas, tastes and questions.

Show them how to find and download stuff off the internet. Keep them well
supplied in scales, measuring tapes, pencils, crayons, paints, paper, books,
videos, things to take apart, things to put together, maps, playgrounds,
building toys, games, cards, dice, measuring spoons, magnifying glasses,
dirt, water and *you*. You are the most important "thing" in their discovery
of this world.

>>I was "blown away" by discovering where their interests really lie, but I
>>also know that I can't keep buying "stuff" to fit their interests.>>

It's great to see what our kids will choose if actually given the choice.
:o) Sounds like your kids are enjoying the freedom to choose their own
schooly, curriculum stuff and they've managed to surprise you by their
choices. As they get used to their new UN-schooly freedom, they'll surprise
you even more with their choices of interests out there in the real world.
It won't have to be purchased from a kit though (although sometimes kits are
fun and desired around here). It will be something they come across just by
living.

>>We are getting a bunny and guinea pig at the end of the month but instead
>>of going out and buying a ready made cage we are going to build an outdoor
>>hutch. I hope this opens itself to other building projects and perhaps
>>bird feeders, etc. Is this what you mean by giving them "other things".>>

Could be. But if you limit yourself to looking towards the goal of other
building projects, you may not appreciate some real learning taking place in
a totally different area.

We also have a guinea pig and rabbit. They house beautifully together. We
got the rabbit to keep the pig company since we learned that piggies are
social animals. We've had a blast just watching the two animals interact.
Rabbits are bold and fearless. Piggies are skittish and careful. But put
them together and a wonderful nurturing takes place. The piggie started
coming out more and getting a little bolder. The rabbit nurtures the pig and
actually pushes his little butt out of the cage for a visit. They are
amazing to watch.

We would also like to build an outside hutch for them after we move. When we
do, I'm sure we'll learn all sorts of new stuff. Maybe someone will want to
build more, maybe not. It's the experience of the moment that counts though.
The journey. The getting there. If I look too much towards the next step, I
might miss the joy and learning and opportunities in the step I'm on.

>>I guess growing up in public school and teaching preschool and preK, has
>>warped my brain into thinking I have to have a schedule and know what we
>>are going to cover next month or two months from now.>>

We've all had to shake off that type of thinking to a certain extent. Some
of us more than others, based on our background. ;-) What has helped me, is
to look at my "schedule" as continuing on until my kids are grown. That's a
lot of time to grow and learn and mature. It gives us a LOT of flexibility.
And along the way they get to just live their lives right now, in the
moment. They don't have to wait until they finish some arbitrary grade or
lesson plan to start being functioning members of society. They are right
now.

>>We are used to schooling at home in a relaxed method for the last 4 years.
>> It's very difficult to give that up and on top of that
acquire more patience.>>

Sounds like you could use some deschooling time. Take a complete break from
thinking about schooling, educating or teaching your kids at all. Just be
with them for a few months. You've got the time, take it so you can all
decompress and get used to this new way of thinking. Going into an
unschooling frame of mind is much easier after a looooong vacation from
schoolish thought and methods.

Keep reading here and also at the unschooling.com message boards, Sue.
There's a lot of great experience just waiting to be shared.

Life is good.
~Mary

_________________________________________________________________
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Lewis

Hello, I am new to this list, a SAHM, to three wonderful little boys, 9, 7,
and 5 1/2.

From before I even had children, I knew I wanted to homeschool, so they
could be free little beings. However, when time came to sign our oldest up
for school, I felt the pressure....media, relatives, etc..... He went to
Kindegarten which was beautiful, but First grade was a joke and I took him
out at winter break.

Our middle guy went to K for only three months when I took him out the same
time I took his older brother out.

I am so glad our youngest never has to go to school!!

This past year, we enrolled in an "alternative learning program" through our
local school district. We bought a beautiful curriculum (Oak Meadow),
signed up for some fun classes and thought we were set. Slowly through the
year, life stresses (having to move from our home because a sex offender was
living next door), etc... caused us to not "do school". I have to say my
children were so much happier, so much more interested in books, so much
more interested in bird watching, finding the names of the flowers in our
area, playing knights, and acting out Harry Potter, and just playing legos
for HOURS and DAYS. We read Harry Potter, a Lewis and Clark book, two
native american adventure books, and as I was learning how to spin wool, so
did they. They have their own drop spindles, they know how to finger knit
their newly spun wool. We took extra time to play with our six rabbits, and
extra time to just do nothing at all.

Wow!!! I still have that little voice that says "do school", but when I
look through even my very favorite curriculum, textbooks, etc... it all
seems so lame. It pretty much all seems like busy work, it is
uninteresting, uncreative and dull.

So, here I am at your unschooling site, and ALL the unschooling stuff that I
can find on the net. I love it! I hope to find lots of support on this
list as I go through the change from the old nagging "do school", that has
not left my thoughts yet. I have already read Mary Griffiths Unschooling
handbook, but would like to read more on unschooling, any suggestions gladly
received.

Most of the homeschoolers in our area are very fundamentalist, and we are
not religious at all (spiritual agnostic). It is hard to find a niche to
fit into. Most of our friends and the boys friends over the last two years
have been public school kids, who we really seem to relate to better. I
guess, whatever works.

Debbie
in the Pacific Northwest, Washington State

tamlvee

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lewis" <lapin@o...> wrote:
>

>I have already read Mary Griffiths Unschooling
> handbook, but would like to read more on unschooling, any
suggestions gladly received.

Welcome Debbie:)

I really liked Homeschooling Our Children, Unschooling Ourselves by
Alison McKee.



> Most of the homeschoolers in our area are very fundamentalist, and
we are not religious at all (spiritual agnostic). It is hard to find
a niche to fit into. Most of our friends and the boys friends over
the last two years have been public school kids, who we really seem
to relate to better. I guess, whatever works.
>
> Debbie
> in the Pacific Northwest, Washington State


I found the same to be true when I started homeschooling (a whole 3
months ago) LOL! I also live in Washington State, in Des Moines. I
found a fun group in Maple Valley. They are not strictly
unschooling, but definately unschool friendly. What part of
Washington are you in? I have two children, boy 9 and girl 7. We
are also spiritual agnostics and the first group of homeschoolers we
met were fundamental Christians. I joined a Yahoo message board
called Washingtonunschoolers and met some nice people there. That's
how I heard about the Maple Valley group. I look forward to talking
to you some more. Us unschoolers in Washington State need to plan a
statewide event where we can get together:)

Tammy

Tia Leschke

> Most of our friends and the boys friends over the last two years
>have been public school kids, who we really seem to relate to better. I
>guess, whatever works.

My son's friends have mostly been public schooled kids from his sports
teams. There are hardly any homeschoolers in our area, and he doesn't
click with any of them. Mostly this is fine, but it's led to a lot of
desire to try school, a stated desire to get a diploma, stuff like
that. He also seems to have internalized their attitude toward academics .
. . "avoid at all costs".

>Debbie
>in the Pacific Northwest, Washington State

Where are you in Washington? I'm just across the Straight of Juan de Fuca
from Port Angeles, in Sooke, B.C. My mother lives in Eatonville, and we go
down for a visit every year.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

The Bruhns

At 10:53 AM 6/17/02 -0700, you wrote:
>Debbie
>in the Pacific Northwest, Washington State

Debbie,

If you are not already there, you may find some support on the WA
unschoolers list.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Washingtonunschoolers/

Kelly

Lewis

Thanks Kelly, I just joined the washington unschoolers group!

Debbie

Lewis

Tia and Tammy,

We live in Sequim, which is just East of Port Angeles. I am familiar with
where both of you live!

Debbie

tamlvee

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lewis" <lapin@o...> wrote:
> Tia and Tammy,
>
> We live in Sequim, which is just East of Port Angeles. I am
familiar with
> where both of you live!
>
> Debbie


We will be going on a camping vacation to the Lyre River Park in
August and will be stopping in Sequim to see a few things! We love
Sequim and everytime we go to Port Angeles we talk about buying
property there.

Tammy

Tia Leschke

>Tia and Tammy,
>
>We live in Sequim, which is just East of Port Angeles. I am familiar with
>where both of you live!

Can you see me waving from across the water? <g>
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Lewis

"August and will be stopping in Sequim to see a few things! "

Tammy, we used to camp at the Lyre River Park when I was growing up, how
fun! Ahhh, I remember my uncle salmon fishing while we camped, that we
would cook pinned between cedar branches on an open fire, yum!! Over the
last several years, Sequim has become a huge community of Lavender fields.
In July sometime, they have a big Lavender festival, that is just lovely!
We would like someday to purchase some land and try to grow a crop. I guess
this place is getting quite the recogntiion nationally and in Europe for its
Lavender.

Debbie

Lewis

Well, maybe I could if it was not so dark out right now! We live on the
bluffs above the Strait and can see the mountains of BC on a good day.

I am waving back!! DH is not too sure about me....

Debbie

Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

>
> So, here I am at your unschooling site, and ALL the unschooling stuff that I
> can find on the net. I love it! I hope to find lots of support on this
> list as I go through the change from the old nagging "do school", that has
> not left my thoughts yet. I have already read Mary Griffiths Unschooling
> handbook, but would like to read more on unschooling, any suggestions gladly
> received.
>

Welcome, Debbie-

Isn't it great -- all this support. Make friends with the old nagging
thoughts & carry on. Mine still creep in once in awhile, even though our
dear totally unschooled son just graduated (with honors) from college.

Here's our Unschoolers Unlimited web site:
http://www.borntoexplore.org/unschool

Best wishes,
Luz

Alan & Brenda Leonard

> Most of the homeschoolers in our area are very fundamentalist, and we are
> not religious at all (spiritual agnostic). It is hard to find a niche to
> fit into. Most of our friends and the boys friends over the last two years
> have been public school kids, who we really seem to relate to better. I
> guess, whatever works.
>
> Debbie
> in the Pacific Northwest, Washington State

Hi, Debbie,

I find that we relate to the public school kids better, too. Maybe it is
because there are so many of them, it's easier to find some that share our
interests/beliefs. Or maybe, (this from experience with one of my son's
friends) it's because public school kids don't like school any more than my
unschooled son does! Our big problem with schooled kids for friends is that
they go to school all day and aren't always around when you want them!

Where are you in WA? My husband is Army, and we have moved on from Fort
Lewis now, but I spent 3 terrific years in the Tacoma/Olympia area. There's
a great group in Olympia that I heard from a lot, and I think I actually
managed to go to 1 event in 3 years. (My son was young then, we left just
before he turned 5). I wish I could think of their name, they were terrific
folks. Maybe someone else can give you that. (In the meantime, I'll rack
my brain and try to come up with it.) Washington is a great place, and
there is so much to do there! It was amazing to me that within a 2 hour
drive of where we lived, we could go to the ocean or the Sound, the
mountains, a volcano, the flower fields, a rainforest, the city, farms, etc.
It's such a great a place to unschool -- have fun!


brenda

Lewis

Thanks Brenda, I always hear lots of good homeschooling/unschooling stories
that involve Olympia, so I will have to listen a little closer now :). My
husband was at Ft. Lewis when I met and married him, I actually liked living
in Tacoma, even though is has such a bad reputation.

Ok, change of subject. With unschooling, what do you do about those messy
rooms, and NOT wanting to clean those messy rooms. Toys are one thing, but
the dirty clothes are another story. Unfortunately they have so many
clothes, that it would be a long, long time before they ran out if I just
let them pile up.....

Thinking on the lines of it being teaching, I thought it might be
appropriate. When they do clean their rooms, it is all shooved under their
bed and behind the closet doors. Of course I also did this as a kid. I go
back and forth with worrying about it and not worrying about it, which I am
sure gives mixed messages.

Our middle son is the one that is good at managing to drag most of his toys
out into the living room in a day, and then never wants to put them all
back. I tell him when it all begins, that they will have to go back, so he
is well aware of it, but it is still such a struggle.

Just wondering what all your philosophies are.

Debbie

Amy Thomlinson

My kids are 3 and 7 and starting at age 3 the rule
is that any toys on the floor when I am ready to
vacuum (usually i only do bedrooms on saturday
morning) will be put in the garage. For the 3 year
old the toys get put up for 1 week for the 7 year old
it is 1 month. It works great because when they get
the toys back it is like they just opened them, but i
am going to need a bigger garage. As far as clothes
go I tell them that if their dirty clothes are on the
ceiling fan or under the furniture or in the closet
instead of in the hamper every night then they get no
television time the next day. This sort of thing
probably works better with younger kids than with
older ones tho
--- Lewis <lapin@...> wrote:
> Thanks Brenda, I always hear lots of good
> homeschooling/unschooling stories
> that involve Olympia, so I will have to listen a
> little closer now :). My
> husband was at Ft. Lewis when I met and married him,
> I actually liked living
> in Tacoma, even though is has such a bad reputation.
>
> Ok, change of subject. With unschooling, what do
> you do about those messy
> rooms, and NOT wanting to clean those messy rooms.
> Toys are one thing, but
> the dirty clothes are another story. Unfortunately
> they have so many
> clothes, that it would be a long, long time before
> they ran out if I just
> let them pile up.....
>
> Thinking on the lines of it being teaching, I
> thought it might be
> appropriate. When they do clean their rooms, it is
> all shooved under their
> bed and behind the closet doors. Of course I also
> did this as a kid. I go
> back and forth with worrying about it and not
> worrying about it, which I am
> sure gives mixed messages.
>
> Our middle son is the one that is good at managing
> to drag most of his toys
> out into the living room in a day, and then never
> wants to put them all
> back. I tell him when it all begins, that they will
> have to go back, so he
> is well aware of it, but it is still such a
> struggle.
>
> Just wondering what all your philosophies are.
>
> Debbie
>
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>
> ~~~ Don't forget! If you change the topic, change
> the subject line! ~~~
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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>
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> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
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> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>


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In a message dated 6/19/02 1:26:57 PM, lapin@... writes:

<< Ok, change of subject. With unschooling, what do you do about those messy
rooms, and NOT wanting to clean those messy rooms. >>

Help them. Make a game of it. Put on music and pick up in rhythm to the
music. Don't make it punishment of drudgery, make it fun and productive and
efficient.

That's what worked well for us.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/19/02 2:27:12 PM Central Daylight Time, lapin@...
writes:


> Ok, change of subject. With unschooling, what do you do about those messy
> rooms, and NOT wanting to clean those messy rooms. Toys are one thing, but
> the dirty clothes are another story. Unfortunately they have so many
> clothes, that it would be a long, long time before they ran out if I just
> let them pile up.....
>

I don't know how old your kids are, but in my experience little ones (under 4
or 5) can't/won't clean a room for a long time. So what I do is take some
hula-hoops, an egg timer and a radio into the room with me. I say "Now its
time for our clean up contest!" then I throw the hoops into the middle of the
mess and say Ready? Set? Go! and turn on the radio and flip the egg timer
over. Then the kids have three minutes to see who can pick up all the
toys/clothes in their hoop the fastest. The music is to get them going. When
the timer is up, most times the mess inside the hoop is gone and the kids are
clamoring at me to have another contest! I have on occasion, gotten a whole
room cleaned this way. Most times though the kids are ready to quit after two
or three tries. That is okay with me because we don't have the fights and
arguments, and no one had to pick up more than the others. (They will fight
over that! I used to get "She didn't have as many things to clean as me!"
arguments) There is no *reward* just the satisfaction of the race! Then later
that day we will go back with the hoops and do it again and the room is
clean! Maybe not spotless, but if I can see most of the floor and the toys
are on shelves or in toy boxes and the clothes are in a hamper or in a drawer
(I don't worry if they are folded or not) then I am happy.
Now that my kids are older, we don't do the hula-hoop thing any more. Now
they turn on the stereo upstairs, I set the timer on the stove for say 20-30
minutes and they have that much time to work a miracle! Again, if the floor
is de-cluttered enough that one of the kids can run the vacuum over it and
not suck up any LEGOs or socks then I am happy.
~Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

AprilWells

Another thing to think about, and this is coming from experience....

I do not know how to clean, I was never taught and I am not organized
enough to know how to go into a room and start cleaning it until it is
clean. I ,like you had the knee deep room when I was a teen, and I
always got yelled at for it being dirty, but like at my house now (which
isn't nearly as dirty as my room was when I was a teen) I cant go into a
dirty room and clean.

I actually need a game plan. I need someone to show me how to start
with this then do this then do this then do this then that and then your
done.

Example

pick up all clothes and put in basket.
pick up all trash put in large garbage bag
make bed
put anything that doesn't belong in room on bed


etc.

etc.


etc.


If my step mom had taught me how to clean instead of grounding me to the
mess until it was clean, then I might be a little more able to handle my
housework now.

I am trying to get into fly lady right now. Slowly slowly slowly it goes...

April


SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> In a message dated 6/19/02 1:26:57 PM, lapin@... writes:
>
> << Ok, change of subject. With unschooling, what do you do about
> those messy
> rooms, and NOT wanting to clean those messy rooms. >>
>
> Help them. Make a game of it. Put on music and pick up in rhythm to the
> music. Don't make it punishment of drudgery, make it fun and
> productive and
> efficient.
>
> That's what worked well for us.
>
> Sandra
>
> ~~~ Don't forget! If you change the topic, change the subject line! ~~~
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Gwen Gagne

April! I just joined this list and when I saw your name, I got confused
thinking I was on the October moms list LOL! Good to see you here :-)

Oh, and I had to learn how to clean too as an adult. My mom was too busy
cleaning and raising us four kids and somehow never got around to
teaching us to clean. I think she thought we would just learn by osmosis
or something. I remember the first time she used the bathroom in my
apartment and came out and told me I needed to clean the toilet.....I
didn't know to use a toilet brush. You think that should be natural, but
everything is learned (or not learned) at some point in our lives. I'm
trying to use flylady techniques too.

Gwen (Anna's mommy)

AprilWells

Gwen good to see you here too...

I am slowly convincing myself to unschool. It isn't a big issue here at
all because Davy is only 3 but i like the concept, and I understand it.

I need to read john Holts books as they seem to be very popular.

April

Gwen Gagne wrote:

> April! I just joined this list and when I saw your name, I got confused
> thinking I was on the October moms list LOL! Good to see you here :-)
>
> Oh, and I had to learn how to clean too as an adult. My mom was too busy
> cleaning and raising us four kids and somehow never got around to
> teaching us to clean. I think she thought we would just learn by osmosis
> or something. I remember the first time she used the bathroom in my
> apartment and came out and told me I needed to clean the toilet.....I
> didn't know to use a toilet brush. You think that should be natural, but
> everything is learned (or not learned) at some point in our lives. I'm
> trying to use flylady techniques too.
>
> Gwen (Anna's mommy)
>
> ~~~ Don't forget! If you change the topic, change the subject line! ~~~
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/19/02 2:51:41 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
diamond_h2o@... writes:


> . As far as clothes
> go I tell them that if their dirty clothes are on the
> ceiling fan or under the furniture or in the closet
> instead of in the hamper every night then they get no
> television time the next day. This sort of thing
> probably works better with younger kids than with
> older ones tho
>

We don't do punishments here.
We just ask for the dirty clothes, or I'll send one of the kids with a basket
to pick them up. We figure the purpose of washing clothes is to get clean
clothes, not for discipline.

If their clothes are under the bed, they don't get those clothes clean, and
my kids really LIKE their clothes, and have lots of favorites and well-loved
clothes.

When Kirby said "I have no socks" last week, I took a laundry basket into his
room and said I think socks are in various corners and under stuff. Sure
enough he found a few pairs, and I washed them, and the next day he DID have
socks.

Socks have to do with socks. If there are natural consequences, that will
promote learning better than arbitrarily created consequences will.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/19/02 9:39:24 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
dawnwells@... writes:


> If my step mom had taught me how to clean instead of grounding me to the
> mess until it was clean, then I might be a little more able to handle my
>

Unfair.

In the separated twin studies they found that if one twin is neat, the other
one is too. If one is a slob, the other one is too.

There was a pair of twins and they thoroughly interviewed them. They were
grown men. They both organized their closets the same way, and their desks.
Almost like they copied each other.

One had creditted his neatness and organization to his mother's training and
requirements. The other blamed his mother for being such a slob that he was
neat in reaction to it--didn't want to be like his mom.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]