Luz Shosie and Ned Vare

Group,
Luz and I will be on a panel for aHSing information night in a few days. The
organizer sent out some questions that she thought should be answered during
the discussion. Maybe these will interest some of our egroup members. If you
don't live in CT, you might want to begin at #4.


Questions for Homeschooling Information Session


1. What is the law in Connecticut on homeschooling?
A. There is no law in CT about homeschooling (and that is a good thing). Any
answer to this question needs to say that the law that covers homeschooling
is the one that covers all other forms of education. It was written in 1650
and is still in effect. It says, simply that parents (or guardians) are
responsible for the education of their children, whether or not they send
them to school.
The answer would usually continue to address the "guidelines" for
homeschooling that were established in 1990, and it must be noted that
guidelines are not laws, and that the guidelines are not in any way to be
construed as requirements by homeschoolers, but only suggestions. If parents
wish to use them or follow them, they can do so voluntarily. Some parents
do, some don't.

2. Does the school provide materials?
A. No, and if you homeschool, you probably won't want to have "public
schooling" at home, would you?

3. Is testing required?
A. No, not in CT. None at all. There are no requirements at all, other than
the state law that says your child must instructed in the basic skills, plus
how government works, but it doesn't say how, or how much, or when.

4. My child is currently in school and receiving special education services.
If we homeschool, will the school discontinue them?
A. Yes. Unless your child is physically handicapped, the chances are
extremely high that s/he does not belong in "special" education. If s/he has
schooling problems, they were almost certainly caused by the school, and
will not ever be solved there, but only made worse. Getting away from
Special Ed is one of the best reasons to homeschool your child.

5. My child is an introvert, and generally isn't very social. Although he
wants to homeschool, I am reluctant because I think he needs school for
socialization. I am concerned he would be alone too much as a homeschooler
with just his brother and me for company. I am anxious for your thoughts on
this.
A. "Socialization" is a selling point for public schools, but is that what
they offer? Sitting with same age, same ability children all day in rows of
desks in bleak buildings (even "decorated" ones) and being told to sit still
and keep quiet and that what you think or questions you have are not
important, is not socialization. Being outside of that place, being with
people of all ages doing all sorts of real life activities in a variety of
settings is socialization -- learning how people behave in actual life
situations. (What's wrong with not being "social"? -- lots of kids are not
social. Usually, a child does just fine with one friend to get together with
when they can. They don't need to be in a crowd of peers all the time, or
even at all.)

6. I was not particularly good in math or science when I was in high school.
How will I be able to teach subjects such as algebra or physics to my
child?
A. It's not your job. (How much algebra and physics have you used since
school? Hmmm?) As a homeschooling parent, you are responsible only for what
you can do, and for other things, you find others who can help. First,
understand that in schools, not every child is taught every subject. Many
fail; many teachers are terrible and do not teach well, and so the children
are neglected and denied much of what parents expect them to be given. The
academic level of MOST schools in America (including the so-called good
ones) is POOR. That is the best reason to homeschool for most parents. With
homeschooling, parents can at least have control over what is taught and
how, and (don't forget) they also control what is NOT taught that they don't
want to be taught.

8. How do you teach several children who are all at different grade levels?
(Unit studies? Prepared curriculum?)
A. Our son's favorite expression regarding his own education was this (from
Winston Churchill) : "I love to learn, but I hate being taught." Most
parents, after they have been homeschooling a while, realize that most
learning does not require teaching. Another fact is that school subjects do
not relate to children's interests. Learning happens when the learner is
curious and interested in something; it does not happen when s/he is not
engaged. Thus, education is up to the learner, not the "schooler." Unit
studies and prepared curriculum are tools for the control of masses by
uncreative school employees. Use real books about real subjects by real
authors. In other words, get your information from libraries, not curriculum
salespeople or schools.

9. What is unschooling?
A. First, Homeschooling does not necessarily mean Schooling at Home. If you
choose homeschooling, you probably don't want to turn your home into the
thing you're getting away from.
As for Unschooling: go to www.borntoexplore.org/unschool -- it's where Luz
and I explain it in some depth.
In general, it is anything that doesn't look or feel like school. It is
Growing Without Schooling, sometimes referred to as learner-directed living,
or self-education, or child-led learning. The key is trusting the child to
follow his/her curiosity wherever it leads. For parents, it can mean
learning from (or with) your child. Unschooling means allowing your child to
be responsible for his/her own learning instead of doing what someone else
tells him/her for all those years. It means "start your own life NOW"
instead of waiting for someone to tell you when it should start -- usually
when they're finished with you. This idea worked well for our son. He was
always glad that he was in charge of his own learning.

10. What are some other teaching methods? (Classical, Charlotte Mason,
Montessori, Waldorf, Eclectic)
A. I have no answer here. I'm an unschooling advocate. Our son quit
Montessori at age four after ten sessions. After that, he took charge of his
own life and learning.

11. How do I choose a teaching method? What are the advantages and
disadvantages of each?
A. Same. Every time we tell our child to think about a certain thing, we
deny them a chance to investigate something that interests them.

12. I have such a hard time getting my kids to do homework now, when they
are in school, that I can’t imagine getting them to do their schoolwork if I
homeschool them. How do you motivate your kids to do their work?
A. Homework: No. NO! Homework is the school system's way of controlling
parents along with their children, making everyone's life totally
preoccupied with SCHOOL instead of real life. In addition, being a parent is
demanding enough. Giving care, comfort, nurturing, etc, is plenty and it is
what children need and is satisfying for parents. But when you turn yourself
into your child's taskmaster by requiring him/her to do schoolwork -- and
homework on top of that -- you create a huge risk of ruining your
relationship with your child. That's another good reason to UNschool. Be a
parent, be your child's protector, role model, comforter. Do not be his/her
boss or critic or judge. Be the person they ask questions of, not the person
asking them questions, or deciding what they should think about. Trust them.
Give them space. They'll love you for it...always.

13. How do you choose which homeschool resources, books, and curricula to
use, and where do you get them?
A. It doesn't matter. (But if you must, go to a homeschool fair and buy
used books from other homeschoolers -- it supports the organization, too)
Curricula are all bad and limiting. Let your child decide what is
interesting in the world, and go to the library or the local museum or
someplace else in order to find out what s/he wants to know about that
subject. HINT: It will never be algebra or french or social studies or etc,
etc. It will be airplanes, or dinosaurs or money or the sky or etc, etc.
Learn with him/her about his/her interests.

14. How do homeschoolers get a high school diploma?
A. Homeschoolers don't get high school diplomas. That's another good thing,
because almost nobody cares about them. What some hsers do is take the GED
(State General Equivalency Test) and get a diploma from the state. The test
is not hard -- it's designed at the eighth grade level.

15. How do homeschoolers get into college?
A. College takes some planning. There are counselors who can help, but you
can research it with your kid. More and more homeschoolers are entering
college earlier than kids who go to school. Kids who have been in control of
their education for a long time are especially well equipped and prepared
for college life, and do well. Colleges also are now aware that
homeschoolers are making a great impression with colleges, and are actually
in demand, especially at good independent colleges.

16. My husband is against homeschooling but I think it would be best for our
two children. How do I convince him to let me try it?
A. I can't know your husband, but he sounds like me -- I just didn't get it
at first. Be patient as long as you can, then have him call me and Luz to
get a copy of our homeschooling packet of information. Email for it at
nedvare@... if you're in a rush.
Meanwhile, ask him what he wants the children to learn, and then make it his
job to teach it to them. It shouldn't take him long to realize that there
really isn't much that schools teach, and there's so much more to learn
OUTSIDE school!

17. Although I want to homeschool, I am concerned that I will never have any
time to myself. How do other homeschoolers deal with that?
A. Who is telling you that you have to spend all your time schooling. We
raised our kid without ANY schooling -- we lived our lives and he joined in
or didn't, as he wanted. In fact, time spent schooling is bad for everyone;
time spent doing other stuff is good for everyone. Schooling is a stupid
activity. Ask any kid. Schooling is the slowest possible way to learn. Don't
waste everyone's time with it.

18. What made each of you decide to homeschool?
A. Once we realized what an unhappy and unproductive experience school was
(even accounting for the good moment with friends and a few satisfactions)
we saw schooling as mere babysitting by strangers and warehousing of
children by not well educated adults who couldn't get other indoor work. On
the plus side, homeschooling allows parents to truly raise their own
children, to get to know them well and not let the state take them
emotionally away from them. Did you have children so that you could give
them to the government to raise for you, badly?

19. What, in your opinion, have been the greatest benefits of homeschooling
for you/your family?
A. Benefits: Mutual respect; happiness; trust; a lasting good understanding
between parents and child. As for academics, schools can't touch
homeschooling by conscientious parents. Public schools do not educate; they
merely indoctrinate children.
The public school system is based on deceit, force and coercion, not love or
trust.
Homeschooling: No institutional education system can compare to it.

Best wishes, Ned Vare