laura90713

My father-in-law will be celebrating his 80th b-day in October. His
wife who is like a blood grandma to the kids is putting on a great
big celebration at a hotel near their home, about 1 1/2 hours from
our home. Although they got room rates of $150 per night, we are
expected to pay for our own room. Our kids, their grandkids, are not
invited to the party, and if there is drinking, which I'm SURE there
will be, I would prefer them not to be there anyways. This is the
kicker, Grandpa wants to introduce each of his kids (at least they
ones he still communicates with that will be there) and grandchildren
and then send the grandkids and great grandkids off to their rooms!
This means they would not eat with everyone and have to eat in the
hotel room. Not that room service would be bad, but I think it is
really rude!! My children are not trophies to show off and then
pushed away. Money is not an issue for the grandparents, as they are
VERY well off! I told my hubby that if our kids aren't invited to eat
with everyone, then I will also leave and stay with the kids, maybe
go out with them to grab a bite to eat or something. If there is an
issue with them not wanting young children making noise, then for
goodness sake, have an adult party withought the "parade."

Grandpa did offer to pay for our room when we told him we could not
afford one. Am I being a real pain in the butt? Maybe I take offense
too easily in regards to our children. Or maybe my reasoning is
skewed because I know so much family history that's taken place over
the many years.

I would appreciate any opinions.

Laura

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In a message dated 6/6/02 12:41:22 AM, laura90713@... writes:

<< Grandpa did offer to pay for our room when we told him we could not
afford one. Am I being a real pain in the butt? Maybe I take offense
too easily in regards to our children. Or maybe my reasoning is
skewed because I know so much family history that's taken place over
the many years. >>

Let them pay for the room.
Let them send kids away. Use it as a lesson to the kids about how some
people feel about kids, so they'll appreciate how you are with them!

Being where people aren't as liberal and child-focussed might be a real
eye-opener for them that will last them the rest of their lives.

Holly is appalled when she sees people treating kids like totally inferior
beings. It will color the kind of parent and adult she will be!

Sandra

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I agree with Sandra, let them pay, speak with your kids about how you feel
about it and keep in mind that the KIDS may have an even better time
upstairs with all their cousins and no parents! Hire a babysitter to keep an
eye and split it amoung the parents. (Or get the hosts to offer)
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

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In a message dated 6/6/02 8:57:14 AM, ElissaJC@... writes:

<< keep in mind that the KIDS may have an even better time
upstairs with all their cousins and no parents >>

OH yes!

Fetteroll

on 6/6/02 2:40 AM, laura90713 at laura90713@... wrote:

> Grandpa wants to introduce each of his kids (at least they
> ones he still communicates with that will be there) and grandchildren
> and then send the grandkids and great grandkids off to their rooms!

It could be he's just not seeing it from a kid point of view. Maybe if you
mention that the kids feel like they're being hauled all the way out there,
displayed like trophies for a few minutes and then put in a box for the
evening.

If they're well off, maybe that will prompt them to think of -- or you could
suggest ;-) -- at the very least a separate room for the kids to be able to
gather in, perhaps at the hotel pool? I don't know what the age range is so
perhaps that isn't workable and might need too many adults, but if they
can't stay at the adult party, perhaps they could think of something else to
get all the cousins together.

Joyce

hazy_lilly

---
> invited to the party, and if there is drinking, which I'm SURE
there
> will be, I would prefer them not to be there anyways. This is the
> kicker, Grandpa wants to introduce each of his kids (at least they
> ones he still communicates with that will be there) and
grandchildren
> and then send the grandkids and great grandkids off to their
rooms!

>
> Grandpa did offer to pay for our room when we told him we could
not
> afford one. Am I being a real pain in the butt? Maybe I take
offense
> too easily in regards to our children. Or maybe my reasoning is
> skewed because I know so much family history that's taken place
over
> the many years.
>


Hi laura,

I went through a similar experience. When I was told that my
children could not stay for more than an hour, I first felt it was
rude. When I thought about it more I realized it was toward the
history I have with my m-in-law. At this party there was much
drinking and adult language, I personally would not want my children
around. In the long run she did me a favor(One freebie on her side
lol). I did end up getting a babysitter and the kids had a blast.
I did explain to my 7 year-old son, that there was going to be many
adults and they would be talking about adult matters. In the long
run they would of been bored. There would of been many "Don't do
this , Don't do that" and who knows what else. Those statements
seem to bother me the most.


Hazel

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In a message dated 6/7/02 9:28:35 AM, hazy_lilly@... writes:

<< I did explain to my 7 year-old son, that there was going to be many
adults and they would be talking about adult matters. In the long
run they would of been bored. There would of been many "Don't do
this , Don't do that" and who knows what else. >>

Also it's bad enough having SOBER relatives quizzing your kids about
unschooling and multiplication without drunks doing it!

laura90713

Sandra, thanks for that reply, it was my laugh for the day!!! So
right on!!!

Laura

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., SandraDodd@a... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 6/7/02 9:28:35 AM, hazy_lilly@y... writes:
>
> << I did explain to my 7 year-old son, that there was going to be
many
> adults and they would be talking about adult matters. In the long
> run they would of been bored. There would of been many "Don't do
> this , Don't do that" and who knows what else. >>
>
> Also it's bad enough having SOBER relatives quizzing your kids
about
> unschooling and multiplication without drunks doing it!