[email protected]

In a message dated 5/28/2002 11:49:46 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
> The abstract discussion of all sex and all violence as applied to
> all children of all ages in all circumstances doesn't take me
> very far. If I had a kid who had lost some one in the WTC and
> who suddenly wanted to watch exclusively plane crash/car
> crash/violent movies my reaction would be very different that if
> I have a kid who has gotten interested in being a pilot and is
> watching the same movies to point out the errors in how the
> scenes were shot.
>
So are you saying that the child who suffered through a tramatic event (WTC,
for example---or bad auto crash) shouldn't be allowed to watch certain
things?

When Cameron was in kindergarten, his best friend, also five, was killed in a
bus crash. There were more than a dozen other children injured in that bus
too. The school had therapists galore to help the children and parents deal
with this loss.

Several weeks later, the most popular "game/activity" that the children
initiated was "Car Crash". They would line chairs up with an aisle in
between. Someone would be the driver; several children "played" themselves.
Many wanted to be Jacob (the child that died). A "semi" would hit the side of
the "bus", and all the children would fly across the room. The older children
"directed" the action. After the "crash", they'd set the chairs back up and
do it all over again. This went on for more than two months.

Cameron wasn't on the bus, so he wasn't involved with these crashes---he just
watched. He DID have many, many questions about death and dying and the
"thereafter"---a whole 'nother thread.

But I'm guessing those children that were on the bus probably *needed* some
kind of (light) violence in their lives at that time. Maybe it would have
been beneficial for them to see a movie where the actors did get back up.
They watched a friend---a FIVE year old--- NOT get up. I think some of it is
therapeutic in an odd sort of way that I don't know I'm explaining well.

Just because YOU think it might be a bad idea to let them watch it, doesn't
mean the child might not NEED it.

Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/02 12:40:30 AM Central Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:


> Several weeks later, the most popular "game/activity" that the children
> initiated was "Car Crash". They would line chairs up with an aisle in
> between. Someone would be the driver; several children "played" themselves.
> Many wanted to be Jacob (the child that died). A "semi" would hit the side
> of
> the "bus", and all the children would fly across the room. The older
> children
> "directed" the action. After the "crash", they'd set the chairs back up and
> do it all over again. This went on for more than two months.
>
> Cameron wasn't on the bus, so he wasn't involved with these crashes---he
> just
> watched. He DID have many, many questions about death and dying and the
> "thereafter"---a whole 'nother thread.
>
> But I'm guessing those children that were on the bus probably *needed* some
> kind of (light) violence in their lives at that time.

Or maybe the children involved needed to reenact the event over and over.
This happened, then this, then my friend died, the rest of us are still here
and okay. I feel bad my friend is dead, why didn't I die? Survivors guilt and
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are difficult to deal with.
Sometimes children, adults too, can't articulate how they feel about events
in their lives. I know if something happens in my life, my friends and I
might rehash it over and over trying to make some sort of sense out of the
trauma. We might keep going over something to *make it right* in our minds.
If children, especially very young children can't *rehash* verbally with each
other, they very well might benefit from acting the events out. Although I
doubt they *needed* some light violence at that time, I think it was more
them trying to sort everything out, to set things right.
~Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nora or Devereaux Cannon

"So are you saying that the child who suffered through a tramatic
event (WTC,
for example---or bad auto crash) shouldn't be allowed to watch
certain
things?"

No I am not.