Just my thought on boredom
[email protected]
Reading all of the posts about being bored, I thought it was my turn to chime
in on this conversation. My boys were considered problems in school. They
weren't huge behavior problems, but they were always distracting the other
children in the class because they would complete their work before anyone
else. To the boys, that meant play time and nothing else. The teacher would
give them referrals out of class, make them write sentences, tell them to
wait in the hall or go to the office until they could behave. Actually the
boys were bored. So, what I did to fend off some of that boredom was to send
work to school with them. I even had it worked out to where they would
receive extra credit for reading an extra book and sharing it in class with
the other students.
I believe that children should be given a chance to express themselves.. And
maybe a child being bored is just thier way of saying that they would like
some attention, or they just need something to interrupt their neuro
associative connection with the boredom they are experiencing at that moment.
My four year old is constantly "in to" things. He goes from one thing to the
next, in this and in that. He just can't sit down for a minute out of the day
unless he is really engrossed in something on television. Other than that he
is up and running around as though this was his last moment on earth :) I
have found that I had to adjust my schedule and make it my business to be
readily available for him when he experienced this. I have found ways to
basically keep him "down" some of the time, but I must admit that i am "up"
most of the time. I hope it is okay to say that he basically has me on a
schedule. My family tells me that maybe he needs to be on some medication, or
maybe he needs to "have his butt beat" or he needs to be taught some manners.
But that is not the case at all. He is very bright and he is so intuned to
what he desires. I feel like I should not listen to my family only because
first of all I don't believe in spanking a child for being himself. Yes, I do
think sometimes he should be redirected and that is fine. But the negativity
I receive from others when it comes to his so-called lack of discipline is
just upsetting to say the least.
I have found that he is interested in things that I am not necessarily
intersted in and I must admit that I do try to divert his attention away from
certain things, such as blood and gore video games, movies, and guns. He is
so into what he wants to be in to.
I said all of this to say...how do you teach a four year old about guns?
Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue. My
thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then hurry
and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for him to
remind me...but he always does.
Dee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in on this conversation. My boys were considered problems in school. They
weren't huge behavior problems, but they were always distracting the other
children in the class because they would complete their work before anyone
else. To the boys, that meant play time and nothing else. The teacher would
give them referrals out of class, make them write sentences, tell them to
wait in the hall or go to the office until they could behave. Actually the
boys were bored. So, what I did to fend off some of that boredom was to send
work to school with them. I even had it worked out to where they would
receive extra credit for reading an extra book and sharing it in class with
the other students.
I believe that children should be given a chance to express themselves.. And
maybe a child being bored is just thier way of saying that they would like
some attention, or they just need something to interrupt their neuro
associative connection with the boredom they are experiencing at that moment.
My four year old is constantly "in to" things. He goes from one thing to the
next, in this and in that. He just can't sit down for a minute out of the day
unless he is really engrossed in something on television. Other than that he
is up and running around as though this was his last moment on earth :) I
have found that I had to adjust my schedule and make it my business to be
readily available for him when he experienced this. I have found ways to
basically keep him "down" some of the time, but I must admit that i am "up"
most of the time. I hope it is okay to say that he basically has me on a
schedule. My family tells me that maybe he needs to be on some medication, or
maybe he needs to "have his butt beat" or he needs to be taught some manners.
But that is not the case at all. He is very bright and he is so intuned to
what he desires. I feel like I should not listen to my family only because
first of all I don't believe in spanking a child for being himself. Yes, I do
think sometimes he should be redirected and that is fine. But the negativity
I receive from others when it comes to his so-called lack of discipline is
just upsetting to say the least.
I have found that he is interested in things that I am not necessarily
intersted in and I must admit that I do try to divert his attention away from
certain things, such as blood and gore video games, movies, and guns. He is
so into what he wants to be in to.
I said all of this to say...how do you teach a four year old about guns?
Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue. My
thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then hurry
and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for him to
remind me...but he always does.
Dee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/24/02 12:29:10 AM, dbatiste7@... writes:
<< My family tells me that maybe he needs to be on some medication, or
maybe he needs to "have his butt beat" or he needs to be taught some manners.
perhaps they need to be on some medication or to have their butts eat, or to
be taught some manners. You can give them my phone number or e-mail if they
want to see if I actually said that. Or heck, print this out and mail it to
them.
I have an idiot friend who told me when Kirby was little that I needed to
spank him more. The reason was that she had her own kids' spirits broken
early, and Kirby was a disruption to their quiet, cynical, bored routines.
If I wasn't going to break his spirit, she didn't really want him around her
kids. If I DID break his spirit, she wouldn't feel so guilty about the way
she was being.
Send this to your relatives too!! If they're just jealous that their own
childhoods were stifled and that they were shamed for being curious and
joyful, they should try to remember that, and NOT pass it on.
-=-.how do you teach a four year old about guns?
Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue. My
thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then hurry
and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for him to
remind me...but he always does. -=-
Well it's time for you to turn and answer his questions, at his level, and as
briefly as you have to, or at length when you can.
You just discuss those things with him as they come up, and answer his
questions. He doesn't want to know EVERYTHING, just a little bit at a time.
g, not toward it.
Sandra
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
<< My family tells me that maybe he needs to be on some medication, or
maybe he needs to "have his butt beat" or he needs to be taught some manners.
>>Feel free, if the proper moment arises, to tell your relatives that I said
perhaps they need to be on some medication or to have their butts eat, or to
be taught some manners. You can give them my phone number or e-mail if they
want to see if I actually said that. Or heck, print this out and mail it to
them.
I have an idiot friend who told me when Kirby was little that I needed to
spank him more. The reason was that she had her own kids' spirits broken
early, and Kirby was a disruption to their quiet, cynical, bored routines.
If I wasn't going to break his spirit, she didn't really want him around her
kids. If I DID break his spirit, she wouldn't feel so guilty about the way
she was being.
Send this to your relatives too!! If they're just jealous that their own
childhoods were stifled and that they were shamed for being curious and
joyful, they should try to remember that, and NOT pass it on.
-=-.how do you teach a four year old about guns?
Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue. My
thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then hurry
and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for him to
remind me...but he always does. -=-
Well it's time for you to turn and answer his questions, at his level, and as
briefly as you have to, or at length when you can.
You just discuss those things with him as they come up, and answer his
questions. He doesn't want to know EVERYTHING, just a little bit at a time.
g, not toward it.
Sandra
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
marji
>I have found that he is interested in things that I am not necessarilyThis approach (avoiding his questions) will only teach him not to ask you
>intersted in and I must admit that I do try to divert his attention away from
>certain things, such as blood and gore video games, movies, and guns. He is
>so into what he wants to be in to.
>
>I said all of this to say...how do you teach a four year old about guns?
>Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue. My
>thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then hurry
>and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for him to
>remind me...but he always does.
questions or rely on you for information. You also may teach him to avoid
your questions if you're asking him about something he's not comfortable
talking about (this is probably not the effect you were after).
I would suggest that you be direct with your son and answer his questions
as honestly as you can. If you don't have the information, get it for
him. If he's interested in guns, you will not be able to diminish his
curiosity by avoiding his questions and hoping they'll go
away. Eventually, he'll look elsewhere for the answers, and the
information may not be so reliable. It may not be the information you
would want him to have.
My friend's son was very interested in guns at a very young age, and she (a
pacifist, like me) did not belittle him at all. She encouraged his desire
to learn. Since she knew nothing about guns, she took him to the police
department and asked them to answer his questions honestly and directly
about guns. He wanted to know how they worked and all that. They answered
his questions, and they were sure to pass on information about gun safety,
too. I thought it was a great idea. He still really digs guns, but he
understands how dangerous they are.
I hope this was helpful!
~Marji~
>Dee[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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Fetteroll
on 5/24/02 2:27 AM, dbatiste7@... at dbatiste7@... wrote:
6 or 10 or 15.
If the part that concerns you is that he has a fascination with firepower
without the understanding of the effects, you can make the message that guns
kill real people available but it's not important that he truly understand
it yet. If you try to make him understand that guns kill people he'll be
able to parrot that back but he won't get that guns kill *people* like mom
and dad and little kids and someone's beloved pet because his understanding
of death and the devastation and permanence of the loss just isn't the same
as it will be later. If the message is heavy handed he may even tune it out
even when it would be natural for him to understand from seeing the
emotional effect gun use has in movies and TV. It may come across like the
world is conspiring against him to make him dislike guns.
(Sort of like if every time you plugged in the Christmas tree someone felt
compelled to remind you that Christmas trees burn houses down every
Christmas time. You'd eventually tune it out.)
So I'd treat the weapon interest neutrally as you would any other interest.
The police idea was good! Dorling Kindersley has a good book (or two) on
weapons with loads of pictures.
Joyce
> how do you teach a four year old about guns?The understanding he'll get at 4 isn't the same understanding he'll have at
> Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue.
6 or 10 or 15.
If the part that concerns you is that he has a fascination with firepower
without the understanding of the effects, you can make the message that guns
kill real people available but it's not important that he truly understand
it yet. If you try to make him understand that guns kill people he'll be
able to parrot that back but he won't get that guns kill *people* like mom
and dad and little kids and someone's beloved pet because his understanding
of death and the devastation and permanence of the loss just isn't the same
as it will be later. If the message is heavy handed he may even tune it out
even when it would be natural for him to understand from seeing the
emotional effect gun use has in movies and TV. It may come across like the
world is conspiring against him to make him dislike guns.
(Sort of like if every time you plugged in the Christmas tree someone felt
compelled to remind you that Christmas trees burn houses down every
Christmas time. You'd eventually tune it out.)
So I'd treat the weapon interest neutrally as you would any other interest.
The police idea was good! Dorling Kindersley has a good book (or two) on
weapons with loads of pictures.
Joyce
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Fetteroll <fetteroll@e...> wrote:
Bridget
> If the part that concerns you is that he has a fascination withfirepower
> without the understanding of the effects, you can make the messagethat guns
> kill real people available but it's not important that he trulyunderstand
> it yet.Unless there are guns in your house, or any house he visits.
Bridget
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/24/02 1:16:55 AM, zintz@... writes:
<< This approach (avoiding his questions) will only teach him not to ask you
questions or rely on you for information. You also may teach him to avoid
your questions if you're asking him about something he's not comfortable
talking about (this is probably not the effect you were after). >>
Marji, that second part is a really good point and hadn't occurred to me.
Thinking back to kids I knew well when I was young, the one family in which
the parents just ignored questions (it was eerie) was the one family in which
the parents knew the least about what their kids were really doing. It
seemed that by mutual agreement, nothing real and substantial and personal
would be discussed.
The mom went through pregnancy and birth with a 13 year old daughter in the
house (who was my best friend, which is why I know the play by play), and two
younger kids. It was a Down syndrome baby, and the mom and dad never said a
word in front of those girls about it, and when we were 15 or so DiAna
commented that her brother didn't walk yet although he was nearly two. I
thought she had known the deal! I helped her look stuff up (after telling
her what it was called, which in those days was still often "Mongolism"), and
began to pay more attention to how silent things in a family could really be.
The kids did not even ASK about that baby, because their questions had never
been answered before, so they had learned not to ask anything.
I'm not saying at all that this would be the situation in the home of the mom
who wrote about how to answer difficult questions, and this HAD to be a
really extreme case. But I liked your point a lot, Marji.
These parents were bright, responsible physically (nice house, cars in good
repair and clean, orchard always irrigated, meals always ready, dad was
respected in the community (a Bataan Death March veteran), and from the
outside it looked like an enviable family.
They got better later, and I don't know why. The mom because an activist in
Down Syndrome issues and even gave public speeches. For some reason, some
lights went on.
Sandra
<< This approach (avoiding his questions) will only teach him not to ask you
questions or rely on you for information. You also may teach him to avoid
your questions if you're asking him about something he's not comfortable
talking about (this is probably not the effect you were after). >>
Marji, that second part is a really good point and hadn't occurred to me.
Thinking back to kids I knew well when I was young, the one family in which
the parents just ignored questions (it was eerie) was the one family in which
the parents knew the least about what their kids were really doing. It
seemed that by mutual agreement, nothing real and substantial and personal
would be discussed.
The mom went through pregnancy and birth with a 13 year old daughter in the
house (who was my best friend, which is why I know the play by play), and two
younger kids. It was a Down syndrome baby, and the mom and dad never said a
word in front of those girls about it, and when we were 15 or so DiAna
commented that her brother didn't walk yet although he was nearly two. I
thought she had known the deal! I helped her look stuff up (after telling
her what it was called, which in those days was still often "Mongolism"), and
began to pay more attention to how silent things in a family could really be.
The kids did not even ASK about that baby, because their questions had never
been answered before, so they had learned not to ask anything.
I'm not saying at all that this would be the situation in the home of the mom
who wrote about how to answer difficult questions, and this HAD to be a
really extreme case. But I liked your point a lot, Marji.
These parents were bright, responsible physically (nice house, cars in good
repair and clean, orchard always irrigated, meals always ready, dad was
respected in the community (a Bataan Death March veteran), and from the
outside it looked like an enviable family.
They got better later, and I don't know why. The mom because an activist in
Down Syndrome issues and even gave public speeches. For some reason, some
lights went on.
Sandra
zenmomma *
>>I said all of this to say...how do you teach a four year old about guns?I wouldn't try so hard to avoid the questions. He probably doesn't want as
>>Blood and gore movies? Blood and gore video games? Dying? I have no clue.
>>My thoughts are to just say, not right now honey, mommy is busy and then
>>hurry and busy myself quick, fast and in a hurry as to leave no room for
>>him to remind me...but he always does.>>
involved an answer as you're afraid he does anyway. Like the kid who asked
his mom where he came from and got the lecture on sexual reproduction. Turns
out the kid wanted to know, was it Brooklyn or Queens? <g> If you avoid the
questions it makes it a big dark secret that's even more interesting and
somewhat forbidden. If you answer his questions, with as much info as he
*really* wants, you'll make it just another piece of informtion to learn and
store.
My son Conor has always had a fascination with guns and warfare and such.
He's a gentle soul who cries at sad stories, but he loves firepower. I think
it gives *him* the feeling of power. He's almost 13 now.
I have always tried to support his interest at whatever level was
appropriate at the time. I let him play with toy guns, found books in the
library, rented him movies if he asked. We made bows and arrows, rubberband
guns and hundreds of different swords. We played castles, Robin Hood, Peter
Pan conquers Captain Hook, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, GI Joe and on and
on. All the while I talked and observed and listened to where he was. (Oh
and blew away a few bad guys in the process. <g>)
Movies like Star Wars were good sources of shooting without any blood. He's
watched more realistic ones as he's gotten older and we've talked, talked,
talked. I've talked a lot about the difference between real guns and toy
guns and what to do if you come across a real one. He has a cousin who
accidentally shot himself, so that story came out when it was appropriate. I
tried not to lecture, or sound dissapproving of his interests. But I am his
Mom and I'm concerned for his safety. I like the idea of going to talk to a
police officer. I want to take him to a shooting range to get a gunsafety
course. He's also going to be doing paintball guns.
He's still sweet and gentle and cries at sad stories.
Life is good.
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com
[email protected]
Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is because I
have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to educate
myself a bit. :)
Dee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to educate
myself a bit. :)
Dee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji
>Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is because IYeah!! Dee! What a spectacular thing you would be doing for yourself and
>have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to educate
>myself a bit. :)
you wee ones! Saying, "I don't know; let's find out," is probably the best
way to show that information is out there; all we have to do is go and get
it. Anyone can, and the best way to figure out what to look up is first
asking the question! I think this is living and learning in action!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/24/02 10:18:18 AM, dbatiste7@... writes:
<< Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is
because I
have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to educate
myself a bit. :) >>
You could just say "I don't know."
Or if it's an idea-kind of thing instead of wanting a fact, say "I don't
know, what do you think?" or "I don't know for sure, but do you think it
might be because..." or "I don't know, but I'll ask [whoever you think will
know] and see if he/she knows" or "Let's look it up on the internet" or
something.
Sandra
<< Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is
because I
have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to educate
myself a bit. :) >>
You could just say "I don't know."
Or if it's an idea-kind of thing instead of wanting a fact, say "I don't
know, what do you think?" or "I don't know for sure, but do you think it
might be because..." or "I don't know, but I'll ask [whoever you think will
know] and see if he/she knows" or "Let's look it up on the internet" or
something.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/24/2002 9:34:47 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
zintz@... writes:
Just a few minutes from knowing more than you could ever imagine about almost
anything you can imagine and lots of other things too <BEG>.
--pamS
Pam Sorooshian
<A HREF="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/">http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/</A>
<A HREF="http://nhen.org/">National Home Education Networkhttp://www.nhen.org</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zintz@... writes:
> >Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is becauseG-O-O-G-L-E
> I
> >have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to
> educate
> >
Just a few minutes from knowing more than you could ever imagine about almost
anything you can imagine and lots of other things too <BEG>.
--pamS
Pam Sorooshian
<A HREF="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/">http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/</A>
<A HREF="http://nhen.org/">National Home Education Networkhttp://www.nhen.org</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji
> > >Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions isSo is that great site, How Stuff Works! We have so much fun with it
> because
> > I
> > >have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try to
> > educate
> > >
>
>G-O-O-G-L-E
>
>Just a few minutes from knowing more than you could ever imagine about almost
>anything you can imagine and lots of other things too <BEG>.
http://www.howstuffworks.com
~marji~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
:) right! :) I know that one lol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/24/02 10:45:12 AM, PSoroosh@... writes:
<< G-O-O-G-L-E
Just a few minutes from knowing more than you could ever imagine about almost
anything you can imagine and lots of other things too <BEG>.
<< G-O-O-G-L-E
Just a few minutes from knowing more than you could ever imagine about almost
anything you can imagine and lots of other things too <BEG>.
>>With moving color pictures and music, sometimes!
rumpleteasermom
If I'm not confusing the two threads . . . how about enlist the aid of
the older brothers? Talk to them about how the youngest needs help
understanding and they can help you with that.
Bridget
the older brothers? Talk to them about how the youngest needs help
understanding and they can help you with that.
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., dbatiste7@a... wrote:
> Like I said before, the reason why I try to ignore the questions is
because I
> have run out of answers. Maybe I should run to the library and try
to educate
> myself a bit. :)
>
> Dee
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma *
>>Whoa!! I must DISAGREE with this line of thinking! IMO, a four year oldI don't think anyone is advocating blood and gore movies or games for 4 year
>>should NOT be watching blood and gore movies and video games especially if
>>you have no clue as to how to teach one that young about this. Why put
>>yourself in the position of having to deal with it?? >>
olds. But sometimes, despite our best intentions, our little ones do get a
glimpse of something-through an older sibling, visit to a friend's house, a
look at a newspaper or magazine, or a video playing in Blockbuster. They ask
questions. They get interested. And the more precocious or verbal the 4 year
old is, the more questions or interest they may have. That's when you need
to be prepared to deal with the difficult questions. IMHO it's best to
answer those questions and requests as simply and honestly as possible.
FWIW my son's interest in weapons started with the movie Peter Pan. Other
kids saw it and wanted to fly. Conor wanted Peter Pan's sword and Captain
Hook's gun.
>>They think they're for the purpose of blowing people away, if that's whatBut that is the purpose of guns. That and blowing animals away.
>>they're first impressions of gun use is.>>
Life is good.
~Mary
_________________________________________________________________
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