Lee Roversi

Aloha again!
This post also caught my eye! Joy's situation with her son is so similiar
to mine with my youngest son, Bay. He is virtually uninterested in any solo
endeavors - period. . . unless they are on the computer or TV - which I
also feel strongly about not having be major factors in our lives here.
What concerns me (other than having him say he is bored whenever the action
stops!) is that I feel being able to entertain oneself or spend time in
solitude is an important facet to be developed in each of us. My two older
children rarely even considered being bored - always able to pick up a
book, a blank journal, a musical instrument, a basket of legos, whatever -
and be engaged. They both seem to be more "balanced" in being able to spend
time alone/time with others. Bay is engaged mostly with other people (any
age or sex or size will do!) or in movement (skateboarding, trampoline
jumping, surfing, dirt biking, yard work etc) . . . preferably both people
and movement at the same time! I might mention that the only other major
thing that will keep his interest is being read to or listening to a story
tape . . . which he will do for hours. So, consequently, Bay's learning
takes the shape of . . . weed whack the property or ride a friend's dirt
bike or fix it, or surf, or listen to story tapes or bake cookies with Nell
(his older sister), or jump on the trampoline, or listen to pop music, or
draw while listening to music, or complain that all his friends are in
school and there is no one to play with, or invent games with Sky (his
older brother), or try to master the typing program on the computer, or
watch "Bill Nye the Science Guy," or count his money from his various jobs
to see if he has enough to buy his own dirt bike, or skateboard, or jump
on the pogo-stick, or watch Mary Martin in Peter Pan for the 12th time or
etc. Now, I know, in my heart, that this IS learning - but, still there are
those pauses between activity that always bring the same "Mom, what can I
do?" whine/lament. . . which makes my teeth itch! I can make suggestions
galore - but usually it is not met with acceptance. . . unless someone else
gets involved. Is this rambling doing anyone any good, except me?! So, I,
too - am interested in what responses we get on this precious list to Joy's
post. By the way, I had pondered the possibility that Bay was inclined this
way because of having two older siblings at home, and a home with three
home businesses and lots of action constantly. . . but here Joy is with a
son without that and the same mantra!?
Thank you all for this thought-provoking and caring list.
Love, Lee
North Country Farms
An Organic Family Farm & Tropical B&B Cottages
. . . an eco-tourism destination . . .
P.O. Box 723
Kilauea, HI 96754
http://www.northcountryfarms.com
808-828-1513 phone and voice mail

joyberryjoy

Lee, THANKS!

What a wonderful reply--your Bay sounds SOOO much like Jackson! ---
>What concerns me (other than having him say he is bored whenever the
action
> stops!) is that I feel being able to entertain oneself or spend time in
> solitude is an important facet to be developed in each of us.

I agree with this so much, yet I feel that forcing independence is a
true misnomer! No such thing! I keep trying to learn new things that
do excite him, so many of which are the same as those you listed (our
sons' learning styles must be simpatico!) to "pull out" as a
suggestion when I hear the mantra...

Bay is engaged mostly with other people (any
> age or sex or size will do!) or in movement (skateboarding, trampoline
> jumping, surfing, dirt biking, yard work etc) . . . preferably both
people
> and movement at the same time!

Yes and yes! That's us too!

I might mention that the only other major
> thing that will keep his interest is being read to or listening to a
story
> tape . . . which he will do for hours.

Exactly. We just read the trilogy of the Lord of the Rings together
and now I am making cds of the Tow Towers for us all to listen to...he
has always had so much interest in being spoken/read to, which I don't
mind. Books on tape/cd are invaluable because we can be hearing a
story together and also I can be getting some work done, etc.

>I can make suggestions
> galore - but usually it is not met with acceptance. . . unless
someone else
> gets involved.

Yes, that's us too.

>Is this rambling doing anyone any good, except me?!

Absolutely! I thought for a minute from the responses that no one
else ever dealt with this!

I guess they have a mixed interpersonal/kinesthetic learning style!
You know, i think when he is a bit older it will be somewhat easier
b/c at this point he is too "little" to "go off" and do things
alone...How old is Bay? If he could ride his bike across town to the
nature preserve I bet I'd hear "I'm bored" a lot less, but at eight
in town we still have to consider safety as a primary concern! (Older
siblings would actually help in this regard!)

Thanks, Lee!

Much love,

Joy

il