faith buckley

I don't have a sling, probably bc they make my husband nervous. He
won't let me get one bc he thinks they look like the baby's going to
fall out. I've never used one, but I do have a front carrier that
criss-crosses in back and a backpack. We use the carrier when we go
places where we don't want to push around a stroller. I like dad to
carry her bc he's stronger and my back usually hurts after 5 min., but 9
times out of 10 mom ends up with her bc she is happier and more content
with me. Usually right after she's eaten and sleepy he can get away
with it.

Does anyone else have that happen? That the baby is not so content with
dad? With our first daughter, it upset him and he felt bad that she
would cry when he held her. Well, I should not say that. He could hold
her without her crying, but if she started crying, he couldn't soothe
her. But when he handed her to me, she would instantly stop crying.
Like I said it hurt his feelings, but now with this one, who does the
same thing, it kind of makes him mad. He doesn't act on it and it's not
really anger, he just really wishes that he could comfort his crying
daughter also. He understands but it still hurts.

Although, now our first is such a daddy's girl, it's not even funny!!!
She loves mom, but when dad walks in the room her face lights up like a
Christmas tree! So, I guess I had my time and now it's his. It
eventually balances out, I guess.

Living for Him,
Faith

Joseph A. & Susan D. Fuerst

Faith,
i believe little girls go in cylcles with prefering one gender parent over the other. I believe little boys do this, too, though the cycles probably differ. It's been my experience, anyway, with 8 yrs. parenting.
Susan
-----Original Message-----
From: faith buckley <faithb@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, October 09, 1999 1:26 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Slings and dads


I don't have a sling, probably bc they make my husband nervous. He won't let me get one bc he thinks they look like the baby's going to fall out. I've never used one, but I do have a front carrier that criss-crosses in back and a backpack. We use the carrier when we go places where we don't want to push around a stroller. I like dad to carry her bc he's stronger and my back usually hurts after 5 min., but 9 times out of 10 mom ends up with her bc she is happier and more content with me. Usually right after she's eaten and sleepy he can get away with it.
Does anyone else have that happen? That the baby is not so content with dad? With our first daughter, it upset him and he felt bad that she would cry when he held her. Well, I should not say that. He could hold her without her crying, but if she started crying, he couldn't soothe her. But when he handed her to me, she would instantly stop crying. Like I said it hurt his feelings, but now with this one, who does the same thing, it kind of makes him mad. He doesn't act on it and it's not really anger, he just really wishes that he could comfort his crying daughter also. He understands but it still hurts.

Although, now our first is such a daddy's girl, it's not even funny!!! She loves mom, but when dad walks in the room her face lights up like a Christmas tree! So, I guess I had my time and now it's his. It eventually balances out, I guess.

Living for Him,
Faith

Lisa Bugg

>
> Although, now our first is such a daddy's girl, it's not even funny!!!
> She loves mom, but when dad walks in the room her face lights up like a
> Christmas tree! So, I guess I had my time and now it's his. It
> eventually balances out, I guess.
>

Exactly, the stereotype of daddy's little girl didn't just appear out of
thin air. :)

FWIW, I had one child that didn't like his daddy for the first 6 months of
his life. It was my dh's first child too. Matt was velcroed to my body and
than after 6 months or so he would let dad do a few things. At 18 months
life turned a corner and dad was great. :) But just wait, there might
arrive a baby that likes dad better first. My last child was like that. She
NEVER let me rock her, or sing to her, or much of anything. I knew she was
going to be my last child too. Dad got to do most everything with her.

Balanced, everything eventually gets there. :)

Lisa
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/9/99 12:26:42 PM Central Daylight Time, faithb@...
writes:

<< Does anyone else have that happen? That the baby is not so content with
dad? With our first daughter, it upset him and he felt bad that she
would cry when he held her. Well, I should not say that. He could hold
her without her crying, but if she started crying, he couldn't soothe
her. But when he handed her to me, she would instantly stop crying.
Like I said it hurt his feelings, but now with this one, who does the
same thing, it kind of makes him mad. He doesn't act on it and it's not
really anger, he just really wishes that he could comfort his crying
daughter also. He understands but it still hurts.

Although, now our first is such a daddy's girl, it's not even funny!!! >>


Faith,
All four of my kids did this! My husband was also hurt a little by it at
first, but when he discovered how much they "suddenly" liked daddy at about 2
years old, he got used to it. Each of my kids had a turning point, around 2,
where they wanted to go everywhere with daddy! (Even the boys did this)
Now, I have to admit, that he was still a little hurt even with our last
child, about them not wanting him as a baby, but he would usually just tease
me and say that my time was coming, when they would just want him. And he
would be right!! Their special time with daddy just comes when they are
older. When they are babies, they like that nurturing time with mom! :-)
Tami

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/12/99 7:49:50 PM, FreeSchool@... writes:

<< From: FreeSchool@...

In a message dated 10/9/99 12:26:42 PM Central Daylight Time, faithb@...
writes:

<< Does anyone else have that happen? That the baby is not so content with
dad? With our first daughter, it upset him and he felt bad that she
would cry when he held her. Well, I should not say that. He could hold
her without her crying, but if she started crying, he couldn't soothe
her. But when he handed her to me, she would instantly stop crying.
Like I said it hurt his feelings, but now with this one, who does the
same thing, it kind of makes him mad. He doesn't act on it and it's not
really anger, he just really wishes that he could comfort his crying
daughter also. He understands but it still hurts.

Although, now our first is such a daddy's girl, it's not even funny!!! >>


Faith,
All four of my kids did this! My husband was also hurt a little by it at
first, but when he discovered how much they "suddenly" liked daddy at about 2
years old, he got used to it. Each of my kids had a turning point, around 2,
where they wanted to go everywhere with daddy! (Even the boys did this)
Now, I have to admit, that he was still a little hurt even with our last
child, about them not wanting him as a baby, but he would usually just tease
me and say that my time was coming, when they would just want him. And he
would be right!! Their special time with daddy just comes when they are
older. When they are babies, they like that nurturing time with mom! :-)
Tami >>

ditto for me, tami! tho it was perhaps a bit more gradual. still by 18mos to
2 they would cry every time he left...
erin

Randy's Mail

I have been extremely fortunate in this area. I have four children. I made
a commitment before my first one was born 11 years ago that I would give up
my office and traveling and be a stay at home dad. I have bonded with all
my children from the start and have been very fortunate that they have
always wanted to be in my arms every bit as much as my wife's arms.

Just one lucky dad's input.

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/13/99 6:15:19 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
rjs@... writes:

<< I have bonded with all
my children from the start and have been very fortunate that they have
always wanted to be in my arms every bit as much as my wife's arms >>

My children have also. My dh was often the one they wanted when they were
sick in the middle of the night. I kind of liked that. LOL

Laura

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/13/99 10:15:18 PM !!!First Boot!!!,
rjs@... writes:

<< Just one lucky dad's input. >>


Sound like lucky kids to me!

Nance

Joseph A. & Susan D. Fuerst

>From: "Randy's Mail" <rjs@...>
>
. I made
>a commitment before my first one was born 11 years ago that I would give up
>my office and traveling and be a stay at home dad.

WOW!! How'd you do that?! and live in this money driven society?
Suz

Randy's Mail

Actually I had made the decision when my wife and I were first married. My
son came along about 8 years later. I had started as a computer sales
person for a Computerland store back in 1984, worked there 3 months and then
they went broke. So, with my vast :-) amount of computer knowledge I
started my own company. At first I had offices and traveled all around the
country. It was okay for that time in my life. But soon after my son was
born, I remembered my promise to work out of the house so I could be there
for him. So I closed my office and moved into the house. I have been there
ever since. I have grown from being a computer salesman to a software
engineer and that really helps. I have also steadfastly remained free and
independent so I did not get sucked into a big company with all those sticky
rules lie: You have to show up for work.

It was an enormous financial and professional struggle for years (my wife is
a SAHM and does not bring in income). So many times I just wanted to go to
work for someone else and get that pay check each week. There were so many
times when we would struggle with buying more groceries or paying the rent.
But now I am make very good money programming (from home) for a fortune 500
company. It is on an outsourcing basis so they have not particular claim on
me.

So I am very lucky and I know it. But this luck came from years of work,
learning, struggle and an overriding commitment to my family.

-- RJS

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/14/99 9:31:07 AM, rjs@... writes:

<< this luck came from years of work,

learning, struggle and an overriding commitment to my family. >>

applause, applause! :)

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/30/99 5:24:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Bonknit@...
writes:

<< << I have bonded with all
my children from the start and have been very fortunate that they have
always wanted to be in my arms every bit as much as my wife's arms >>

My children have also. My dh was often the one they wanted when they were
sick in the middle of the night. I kind of liked that. LOL
>>

Can anyone tell me why these old posts are coming back on the list? This is
the second one today.

Laura

Joel Hawthorne

They're so good?

Bonknit@... wrote:

> From: Bonknit@...
>
> In a message dated 10/30/99 5:24:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Bonknit@...
> writes:
>
> << << I have bonded with all
> my children from the start and have been very fortunate that they have
> always wanted to be in my arms every bit as much as my wife's arms >>
>
> My children have also. My dh was often the one they wanted when they were
> sick in the middle of the night. I kind of liked that. LOL
> >>
>
> Can anyone tell me why these old posts are coming back on the list? This is
> the second one today.
>
> Laura
>
> > Check it out!
> http://www.unschooling.com

--
best wishes
Joel

For a wonderful gift possibility and to support a great cause check out:
http://www.naturalchild.com/calendar_pictures.html

All children behave as well as they are treated. The Natural Child
Project http://naturalchild.com/home/

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/31/99 8:28:07 AM Eastern Standard Time,
jhawthorne@... writes:

<< They're so good? >>

Thanks Joel but I doubt that.

Laura