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In a message dated 4/30/2002 9:29:26 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
Burkfamily@... writes:


> No, I can't hold anybody to that standard And I don't want to limit
> anything
> or try to hold anybody to my standards. But I don't think that it hurts
> once
> in awhile to be reminded that sometimes what we meant when we wrote
> something
> is not the way it's being read and so we as writers and readers have to
> take
> that into consideration.

It hurts the list, though, because there are hundreds of us here and if we
each pull out an example of what we think is bad posting and say that it is
just a reminder to everybody to be considerate, then the list will be filled
up with that and with people defending themselves and so on.

People who are offensive will still be offensive no matter how many gentle
reminders they get.

But - the subject does make me think about....
HOW do we help our kids develop into people who are courteous and considerate
enough to be good company and yet honest and forthright too?

Some kid - probably 8 or 9 - walked up to me and my kids once and said to me
(yes, right out of nowhere), "Your shirt is ugly." Seriously. It was sort of
muddy tie-dyed shirt that one of my kids had made and was ugly. The kid's dad
was right there. Unschoolers. (NO - nobody on this list, so stop wondering if
it was your kid <G>.)

So - what should that kid's dad have done - what should I have done (a kid I
knew, not a stranger).

--pamS
Some of what is said here may challenge you, shock you, disturb you, or seem
harsh. But remember that people are offering it to be helpful and what feels
uncomfortable to you might be just what someone else needed to hear.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karin

> Some kid - probably 8 or 9 - walked up to me and my kids once and said to
me
> (yes, right out of nowhere), "Your shirt is ugly." Seriously. It was sort
of
> muddy tie-dyed shirt that one of my kids had made and was ugly. The kid's
dad
> was right there. Unschoolers. (NO - nobody on this list, so stop wondering
if
> it was your kid <G>.)
>
> So - what should that kid's dad have done - what should I have done (a kid
I
> knew, not a stranger).
>
> --pamS




If I were the one wearing the ugly shirt and a kid I knew told me it was
ugly, I would smile and say "It's not ugly. It's just DIFFerent!" and I
would continue to smile.

If my son were to tell an adult we know that their shirt is ugly, I would
probably just give him a "look" and maybe tell him "that's not a nice thing
to say". I would hope that my son would already know not to say someone's
shirt is ugly, even if they truly feel that way.

Karin